User:Beat/Sandbox

I'm just gonna spew nonsense here with very little regard to how it's structured. I'll fix it later.

Okay,

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So in Alec Benson Leary Call 2 we got something amazing: Chris claiming cartoons were "real".

I'm not really sure exactly how Chris's weird "Cartoons are real" thing works (Do the exist in a parallel universe? Does he think he could somehow meet them IRL? etc.) but it's pretty clear that he thinks of cartoons the way you or I would think of people. He would much rather spend time with fictional characters than nonfictional ones, to the point where they're more real to him than we are. The exact details of how he can think of them are real are probably impossible to obtain, and he probably doesn't even have any strict set of thought out rules past the notion that he'd really like to spend all this time with Sonichu, and that he'd really like to bang Meg Griffin.

I said in one of the mailbag talk pages that he wouldn't kill Simonla because to him, Wild is a person. Ignore for a moment the fact that he's a one-dimensional, completely useless and poorly written character, to Chris he's a person. Chris wants Wild to be happy because in his mind, wild is a good man, and deserves to be happy. He hooked him up with an equally one dimensional girlfriend who listens to everything he has to say and is always in the mood. He'll stay with that girlfriend forever because good people (in chris's mind) don't ever go through anything like painful breakups. And so, for Wild the person, everything's cool. Wild as a character is still as useless as ever, but that doesn't matter because Chris isn't interested in telling a story, he's interested in making sure his little person is happy.

And that's why he freaked right the fuck out when told that it was time to murder Simonla. The very concept of forcing his little people to suffer was just out of the question for Chris. He didn't care about the opportunity to develop Wild as a character or to streamline his story by removing a completely useless love interest. In his mind, killing Simonla was forcing an individual he wanted to be happy to needlessly suffer.

I'm not sure how deep this whole "Real to him" thing goes, but it's widely speculated that Chris is unbreakable because he can always retreat to CWCville where everything is happy and he's an awesome and just leader. I think it's possible that if Chris killed Simonla, that would shatter the whole thing. That every time he went back to CWCville, he would see wild, starting at him accusingly. Maybe screaming at him "How could you do it?! How could you kill the only woman who ever loved me?!"

Nahh. That's probably a stretch. Fuck I'm tired. I'll revisit this later.

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So I'm wrong. It's cool, I've been wrong before. Chris (Apparently) killed Simonla in his comics. It is yet to be seen if he's going to retcon this away. I'm not a psychic, but I'm willing to bet that what will happen next is that Wild gets his revenge against the ones who wronged him, meets a girl almost exactly like simonla, and fucks her silly.

I still think Simonla and Wild are like people to Chris, but in the past, Chris has moved on from the "deaths" of sweethearts within hours. Chris uses himself as a measuring stick for humanity, so wild obviously is exactly the same.

As for my theory that killing Simonla would taint CWCville, I think the "Revenge" aspect is how Chris is getting around that. In his mind he's not killing Simonla, Evan is. There's very little doubt in my mind that whoever killed Simonla is going to be some sort of analog to Evan or his creations. If Chris is indeed retreating to CWCville like we think he is, he won't be greeted by a furious wild screaming at him "You killed her!" He'll find a grateful wild, thankful for the all new "Totally original" girlfriend Chris has so generously given him.

Just like it's impossible to help Chris, it's pretty much impossible for the trolls to hurt Chris's metal fortress. Even if we somehow do manage to make a change (Like evan did) Chris is more than willing to do the mental Gymnastics required to make himself the hero.