| I find it nearly impossible to describe just how much I hate Chris, I had an abusive stepmother that I liked more than him. Let's begin with the simplest reason; Sonichu. Sonichu is a fucking recolor bastard child hybrid of sonic and pikachu, two characters I used to look back upon with fond feelings, now I can't even stand the sight of them.
2.) His writing; I've tried several times to stomach the sonichu comics, each attempt resulting in massive failure, the constant ripoffs from other more popular franchises... I can't list anything else... that's it, it's all one collective super rip-off equating in mass to a black hole, threatening to drain the life from pop culture as a whole.
3.) "Da Big Man" himself. He is a walking contradiction. In literary terms he is what would be called a "grotesque" or a character that inspires empathy and disgust. In this context do not mistake empathy for sympathy, we certainly are not feeling Chris Chan's emotions, but we understand them. And through that understanding we are thoroughly disgusted.
He's a freak, no better than pond scum, he shows no remorse, and lays blame to anyone but himself, because he can absolutely never be in the wrong. he is (after all) perfect, the mayor of CWC and a tormented virgin with rage trapped forever in virginia. Woe and betide those that would stand to thwart his love quest, for they receive worse than the death sentence, the dreaded "CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HA!" How dare they even think to stand in the way of such an innocent soul.
He doesn't have a proper perspective about anything at all, he believes cheesy one liners are an integral facet of courting a woman. He cannot keep his hands to himself. His idealized future is to have a wife bear the unholy hellspawn that would be his daughter Crystal. I shudder to think of the possibility that his child might be born male? What would he do then? I can imagine him casually disregarding the wife who never bore his daughter, leaving her alone to raise his spawn in an unforgiving world, crawling back to mommy so she can tell him it wasn't his fault and that he is still her perfect little boy.
I hate Chris Chan to a very deep degree, to the point where I relish the experience of seeing him in pain. I could die happy if I could just once see him shake with fear, explaining to us over youtube just how scared and alone he is, to see him cry real tears for the first time in his pathetic existence, to see his realization that even the friend zone is too exclusive a club for him.
It's safe to say that everything about Chris is a reason I hate him. I don't like hating people, I've even had thoughts of trying to help him, just so I don't have to hate him. However I know that he will never accept my help, and in turn will just make me hate him more.
However, out of every twisted and absurd flaw Chris displays, one stands out above the rest. I can forgive almost anything, but this is the icing on the shit cake, the dynamite stick at the end of the fuse. His reason for hating men. He hates all men because they took all the pretty girls leaving him with none to choose from. Whenever I read this statement I feel like driving all the way to Virginia and hitting Chris Chan right square in the teeth, with a baseball bat. The reason this stands out above all else is not because I am a man, but rather because his ego is so huge that he believes he has first pick of any woman he sees. He fails to realize that females are not simply slices of cake to be passed around at a birthday party. This is exemplified when Chris attempts to date Kacey, knowing full well that Liquid was her boyfriend. He doesn't care, he just wants some goddamn china.
These are the reasons I hate chris
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