User:Wintermute

Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud!

Template:Jerk hi I am some dude from new york an AI created to monitor the activities of fat man children everywhere.

(PS. Also does anyone know a hacker worth two shits ? I got a job for him.)

( the kacey thing is saved her in case another faggot baleets it)

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     As someone put two and two together, Kacey has met Chris Chan. On two occasions, and one near miss.
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     Also, just to answer any questions from the gitar thread, I am the one who developed an allergy rash to Chris. I'm not kidding. It kept getting worse each time and I actually went to get shots and have to use a creme now for erasing the "scarring." It was on one side of my face (where I keep my phone) and along my left shoulder and both arms. It's not axe. It might be his laundry soap or something on his skin. I'm thinking it's his skin because it's where his bare hands touched me.
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     and now onto our show  This is rushed short versions. Kim can help fill in details.
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     First day:
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     went to mall with Kim. We met, talked, and called Liquid. We planned to have Liquid not know that Kacey was there to try to be peacemaker, and he would call, find out and be angry.
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     Chris had given us the slip, so we called him and finally got him to go back to the mall. It was scary seeing him for the first time. He sweats a god awful lot and gets tired just walking. You notice the medallion right away. He comes speeding towards us. He looks me over, rape eyes my breasts, and tells me "I thought you'd be a little more ::makes a hand motions showing a skinnier girl:: but you're gorgeous!" and I'm like "WTF? You think I look more what?" And he says he thought I'd be skinnier, but I'm hot. etc we go outside to take pictures. he puts his arm around me. I sob on the inside. He shows me his eyes up close. They both look hazel. they are not different colored. so we walk to starbucks. he draws me a picture of sonichu. He shows me the medallion. He constantly brushes his knee against mine and tries to rub my side, back and shoulder. Rape eyes are constant. I send liquid a text message to call.
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     Liquid calls, I confess where I am, and Liquid starts screaming and demanding to talk to Chris. Chris grabs the phone and starts screaming in a crowded mall. People are uncomfortable, staring, and walk away. I'll let Liquid detail the call.
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     Liquid talks to me again and is a jerk. I cry and ask Kim to go to the bathroom so I can sob. Inside we call Liquid and ask him what he told Chris. I smudge my makeup and go back out. Chris is coming towards us. I act like I'm upset and crying. Chris mentions how Liquid sucks, etc. He says he has to go. He grabs me and pulls my face into his chest and he smells like horror. He repeats that now we are friends and he will help me out. HE THEN SMELLS MY HAIR AND BRUSHES HIS LIPS AGAINST MY EAR. I look onto Kim with horror. She looks at me in horror. Chris bounds away without so much as a goodbye.
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     overview:
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     + Chris touches me. a lot.
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     + Chris is boring and goes on and on about Sonichu and how now I'm meeting the TRUE CREATOR.
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     + Chris repeats about his stupid eyes. Thinks he's better than Liquid because both of Liquid's eyes are green.
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     + Chris does not approve of Liquid
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     + CHRIS FUCKING TRIED TO KISS ME
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     + Chris scares everyone
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     I'll let you digest this and Liquid can chime in and I'll write up the near miss meeting and part two.
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     Near miss:
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     My cousin and I went to Charlottesville to see Kim. We almost ran into Chris Chan. I saw him near the city hall with his stupid park poster. We ran away. He went in the building and we waited, but we did not see him come out. The end.
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     Second time: (note Liquid is now gone)
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     We met Chris at the mall again. There was horrible traffic so I was late and Chris left for his British Comedy. I called him and begged him back. He would FOR KACEY. He showed up. Rape eyes, told me I was pretty like a teacher he once had, rape eyes, etc. We walked around the mall. All of a sudden Chris calls out "OOPS MY KNUCKLE TOUCHED YOUR ASS." there are kids around. we hush chris to shut up.
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     more rape eyes, he talks about how liquid trolled us both but now i have THE REAL DEAL TO HELP ME GET THROUGH THIS. more attempted touching and stroking of my bare arm. More boring. More Chris asking for my number, and I say I have overprotective parents who pay for it so i have to keep my restricted number and no. He keeps hinting to dating me and how pretty I am.
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     Kim gets distracted by a friend. Chris and I walk along without realizing. He asks me if I want to see his car. I of course say yes but then realize Kim isn't there. I text her. Chris calls his father and lies and says he's in traffic and will be late going home. Chris takes me to his car. It's awful. Stickers of pokemon and sonichu everywhere (there is a homemade one of his tripod site address). The bumper sticker is held up by duct tape. He tries to hold my hand while we cross the street. I glare at him and break away. He asks if I want to sit in his car, I text Kim. I say no. He insists. I sit with the door open and my legs out, ready to run. He tells me the last girl in his car besides his mom was megan. I cry. I ask to take his picture. I do. He asks to take a picture together, so I do. he tries to grope my chest and misses horribly, only grazing it. I glare and him and tell him not to do that. He insists he slipped. I say let's go find kim. He tries to grab my hand again and I shake it away.
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     He needs to rest so he sits down on a wall outside the mall. He notices my bag from Bath and Body works and asks what I bought. He smells them and one of them is called "P.S. I love you" and he jokes "P.S. IM LOVING YOU!" I laugh nervously and we find Kim. By this time Liquid asks for me to put on the phone so he can hear everything, so I do and hide the phone. I mention Chris liked the perfume I'm wearing, so he leans in and AUDIBLY MAKES A SNIFFING SOUND. I scream "OH LOOK MAKEUP" and run off. He asks me my fav color. I say "teal." he says "how atealing." I die on the inside.
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     Chris keeps trying to get close and get my number. He messes with my hair and Kim yells at him for touching me. he touches me 5 seconds later. Then he leaves eventually after more boring and rape eyes.
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     In a later call he invites me to stay the night. I say no. He says I can come over any weekend and go to his church. He doesn't know his own religion. He sucks.
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     The end.
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     Overview:
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     + Chris touches me too much and tries to smell me
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     + Chris is rape eyes always
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     + Chris is a moron
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     + Chris wants to be a sub for Liquid
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     + Chris sweats sooooo much and wipes it off on his vest. He's gross.
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     Any questions? I may remember more later.
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     And after the first time, I couldn't stop shaking. It was weird.