Cole Smithey E-mails

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Hey, Big Bro. :)

Mar 4, 2007

Remember your lil' bro.? It's me, Christian C. It's been a long while. I'm doing good. I graduated from PVCC with two Computer Aided Drafting & Design Degrees. And currently, I'm getting by with livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat. Mama is doing okay; she's been retired for like over a year now; she feels happier not having to rush back-and-forth through traffic and all that hustle and bustle. But currently, she mostly sleeps on the couch during a bunch of the day, yet she does get up sometimes to go out with the family or do some work. We haven't seen much of our aunts either.

I have talked to mom, and I quote her when she said, "I do not regret giving life to Cole. We've had a bunch of good years up till the madness. And all things considered I still love Cole very much like any mother would for her son." She really does. :) And I have

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Re: Hey, Big Bro. :)

Mar 6, 2007

It's very Christian of Barbara to not regret having given birth to me but I'm an atheist. I also have no regrets about emerging from her womb. Although, she is mistaken about the "bunch of good years" we supposedly had together. I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults. The treatment I received in Richmond, Va was another matter altogether. To raise a child in such conditions is inexcusable. Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.

As for Barbara professing her "love" for me, I have not seen any evidence of it in close to 20 years, and that's a very long time. Barbara's definition of love is a hackneyed sentimental term she uses to extract a response. Love is not something you say, it's something you do by staying in contact with a person, visiting, communicating, asking questions and answering them. You will remember that in the 16 years that I lived in California, Barbara only visited me one time. In the 11 years that I have lived in New York, she has never visited me. In spite of the fact that it is always the parent's responsibility to guide their relationship with their children, on several occasions I have gone beyond the call of duty to visit her. But I will never make such an effort again.

The crux of my problem with Barbara comes from two sources. The first is Bob's bitter influence on her, which worked to separate our relationship just as Bob did with his own children with whom he has no association. In nearly 44 years of life, I have never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler. I hope that you will e-mail me when he dies so that I can celebrate. Our mutual hatred has never been a secret, and it points out Barbara's proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates.

The second and more compelling issue that permanently ruined my relationship with Barbara is the litany of lies she tells anyone who'll listen about the identity of my biological father and about her marriage history.

After lying to me about the identity of my father, Barbara refused to come clean and disclose the truth on the eve on my wedding. This might not sound much to you, but I assure you that I spent 15 years attempting to track clown my real father with no help from the one person who could clear the air with a few words, your mother.

As it turns out, Barbara was never married to the man she swore was my real father (Jack Dale Smithey) and to whom she said she was married, but she was married to Ran Coleman Yeatts, a man who visited us when I was a child and who was always introduced as a "friend." I think the fact that Ran's middle name is "Coleman" tells you all you need to know about the true identity of my father. Realize here the double lie that Barbara told about who she had been married to. It's an example of pathological behavior.

Even in their handling of you when you were a child left alone everyday for years by an unfit baby sitter, Barbara and Bob proved themselves to be careless parents. Everyday of our lives, you and I both pay a price for our parents' selfishness. Bob and Barbara pay a bigger price. They are the lonely and tortured people that they imagined their enemies to be. That is a curse that I would not wish on my worst enemy, especially not my own family.

Yes, I have a great life living in New York City, seeing six movies a week and interviewing my heroes. I live with a wonderful women named Katherine, whose family treats me like one of their own. I play guitar in a Jazz combo every Wednesday night. I spend two weeks out of every year on the French Riviera at the Cannes Film Festival, and two weeks in California every Christmas with Katherine's family. I have everything that I have ever wanted except a mother's love.

The moral of the story here is that just because someone is a mother does not mean that they are automatically a good person or that they are capable of acting as a parent. When Barbara thinks of me every single day of her life, just as I think about her, she may not regret the many wasted days of opportunity she had to share a relationship with her first son. But she does regret the fact that the opportunity will never come again. The best she can hope for is to read every word that I write, in search of clues that will never come.

If you want a kick, Google my name and you'll see some of the many newspapers that run my stuff.

Go ahead and send your DVD to my address listed below. You and I may be related, but our mother only loves you.

Cole

Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/20/07

I hope you're doing well.

Anyhoo, I have a small favor to ask of you, I have previously submitted a video for Playstation's PaRappea the Rapper contest, and I am currently among the Top 10 Contestants. If I win the Grand Prize, I can take my Sweet Friend with me to the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle, WA.

Please go to the (http://www.us.playstation.com/vote/parappatherapper/default.aspx ) Playstation Website's Voting Page, and Vote for me; I'm the Lucky 7th Video (the one with the Blue Guitar) Thank you, and I hope you all are still doing well. :)

Take care; Christian W. Chandler.

Re: Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/21/07

Before you ask any favors, you might want to consult your mother about the past 20 years of secrecy, neglect, avarice and coldness that have irreparably ruined her relationship with me.

Did Bob finally die?

Cole

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