Asperchu/Background
| “ | I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of rejection, tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love.
Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic bizzaro Chris. |
” |
| An anon on /cwc/, summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique. | ||
| “ | I detest "Asperchu", because one, it is a Parody of a Sonichu with aspergers, which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like autism, then the creator really knows nothing about Autism. | ” |
| Chris on Asperchu, Mailbag 24 | ||
Asperchu is a parody of Sonichu detailing the zany misadventures of Asperchu, the electric hedgehog Pokemon with high functioning autism Asperger syndrome. It can be read here and the /cwc/ thread can be found here. The creator of this delightful series sometimes forgets to upload a page or two in chronological order, but this is due to his Asperger's Syndrome affecting his memory.
Notably, it has a brief mention on CWCipedia in Chris's list of Sonichu parodies.
Protagonists
Asperchu
One day, Sonichu wandered into a stall the bathroom at the Minneapolis International Airport. While tapping his foot underneath the wall of the stall next to him, he accidentally brushed his foot against that of a man who had Aspergers Syndrome; the resulting union birthed the lovable hero we all know today.
Asperchu grew up in Minnesota, where he attended Catholic school for 12 years (it would have been 13 but he was allowed to skip 1st grade due to how high-functioning he was even as a young child); he currently considers himself to be a non-denominational christian who follows the Word of GodJesus with his sound mind and heart. Asperchu's father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late 2003 and he hasn't been seen since. Asperchu currently lives in Eden Prairie, Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu. When not working hard on Youtube videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his Xbox 360 or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends Normandale Community College with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin, where he is pursuing an associates degree in Radiologic Technology.
His dreams lie outside of religion or career, however: He is currently on a Love Quest to obtain a gal-pal who he can build into a sweetheart from the ground up. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. Although he is normally a humble and empathic person, he has been known to let his goal-oriented mental block get the best of him, such as during his endeavor to prove that he is the only true and honest christian.
Asperchu is a high-functioning electric/aspergers hedgehog pokemon. He has no electric-type attacks; however, his aspergers-type attacks do double damage against autistic-type pokemon. His strongest attack is the Asperhameha, which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.
Sonichu
The brother, father (technically, one of two fathers), hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance. Sonichu shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the Troll Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchujust can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a late night snuggling rendezvous. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of the state of Virginia, on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of Aspergers Syndrome as a component of the Autism Spectrum.
Max
One of Asperchu's best friends. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them.
Jivin Pickles
The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's black best friend who is black. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his Love Quest, although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward gal-pals, while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of Christmas, Jivin celebrates Kwanzaa. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black.
Villainous trolls
Lisa
A girl who attends Normandale Community College, Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King; she agreed. However, her plan all along was to embarrass Asperchu by substituting herself with an overweight ginger girl and video taping it for display on her blog, and then purloin Asperchu's Medallion of Power in order to gain access to his Magic. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals, which temporarily broke Asperchu's Heart Level down to about 40%. She is the person responsible for inciting Asperchu to create his own Youtube account so that he could make war on Trolls far and wide. She appears to be in the employ of a mysterious Troll Lord, to whom she delivered the Medallion.
Radar
GJ-Radar, known as John to people who aren't Asperchu. A Born-Again Baptist from rural Texas, he and his fiance Kendra traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's Youtube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. They promptly began proselytizing their particular brand of Christianity to all who would hear. Soon John confronted Asperchu and demanded he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a Youtube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. Asperchu set the rules of the Youtube Triathlon: Each participant would have to sing their favorite Bible hymn, tell their favorite parable of GodJesus, and display the potency of their GodJesus Magic; the winner would be determined by viewers. Asperchu lost the first two components to John while the third was a draw because Asperchu's Magic only managed to damage his Xbox camera, while John refused to attempt such abhorrent shamanism; John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened.
Supporting characters
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This article is still yet to be completed due to stress. We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this article will be completed as soon as possible, at our own pace... HONEST!
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This article is still yet to be completed due to stress. We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this article will be completed as soon as possible, at our own pace... HONEST!
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This article, like Chris's pickle, is a bit small. You can help CWCki by expanding it. |