User:MoarLurk/MoarRambles 2

Okay, page three.

OBSERVATIONS

Chris and his attempts to read the forums

Chris is watching the EDF and the CWCki. Here are his patterns.

EDF: He's been periodically dropping in on them every once and a while since he first found out about them. This is how he outed Sydney and the fake Megan--he had them both mixed up with Jackie, and the EDF forums were full of "Lulz Jackie was a troll" topics. He's not "getting smarter" in any way, he was saved by his own stupidity.

CWCki: He's been skimming the front page ever since mid-March. Clyde made a stupid mistake with the PS3 bug page--note that Chris only removed the bug AFTER it became the AOTN, indicating that he only checks the front page every now and then. He may or may not check the recent changes, I'm going to assume so for the sake of security. This means playing along with any scheme that may be active at the moment--example, if Chris thinks whatever girl he's talking to this week is true and honest, she's true and honest even though she's probably a troll.

Chris and Meg

I can't shake this suspicion. He almost always refers to her as "Megan", and it's starting to disturb me.

First off, I'm not altogether familiar with Family Guy--I quit watching it some time ago, somewhere around Road to Germany(Note to writers: Goodwin's Law does not a funny make, even if you do it twice and there was no oil crisis in 1940, You Fail History Forever), and only started watching it after it was un-canceled(Bar the first time I saw it, which was on an Adult Swim rerun).

I think the show was un-canceled around 2005 or so, I forget exactly when. But that would mean he met Megan Schroder the same year Family Guy was brought back. This would explain his attachment to Meg--he's mentally latched onto her as a variant of Megan Schroder(note to self: I wonder if Miss Schroder's middle name is "Marie"?).

But why hasn't he put Meg herself into the comic until recently? Simple. The prominence of something in CWCville is directly proportional to how much Chris likes it--he's the main character because he's his favorite person, Pokemon/Sonic hybrids run around because those are his two favorite things, ect. Chris doesn't like Family Guy as much as he claims--he hates it as much as anyone else does, but he feels obligated to watch it anyway. He's sick of the pro-gay stuff, the poorly executed Meg jokes, the poorly executed Repuplican jokes, the anti-Christian rants, and more or less everything he'd be opposed to(that and the voice changes). Also, this didn't develop until Family Guy started sucking(I will persist that it wasn't always terrible)--Megan Schroder was around in 2005 to put directly into the comic.

Waiiit. I wonder...if Megan hadn't told Chris to remove her from the comic, would it have been her coming up to thank Chris for blowing up the ED page? Ah, I see--Meg's being used as a proxy sue for Megan and as a mouthpiece for Chris to complain about Family Guy.

Sonichu 10

Okay, we all know this is one long revenge fantasy, but think about what killing Simonla did.

Chris, at that point, had written himself into a corner. He wanted around 100 pages, but he barely had seventy up. He needed 20+ more pages before he could call it a wrap, and he's already wiped out most of the other antagonists he wanted dealt with. And he can't draw out a fight scene at all, as that runs against his nature. And he has some grasp of narrative flow, too--he can't just shove the characters blabbering about soda for twenty pages and then spend three pages fighting Mary Lee Walsh.

Come to think of it, that explains the page where Mary goes through her villain rant--Chris was trying to fill as much of the page as possible and dragged out the story he wanted as much as he could in the hopes it would net him a few extra pages. I remember people noting that it actually was a jump in quality--Mary moved according to what she was saying and there was a logical, organized layout. Chris, however, screwed everything up and didn't manage to drag shit out.

So now he's at a loss and doesn't know what more to write, but he's happy--he's killed every single troll and now he feels better. This issue will be a testament to his strength and his willpower and OH MY GODBEAR SIMONLA JUST EXPLODED! Boom. Issue ruined. He killed the Asperpals, sure, but that didn't bring her back. She's gone. He killed her.

IDEAS

Paulo's attempt to do stupid shit on /cwc/ gave me an idea--we don't need to actually dig up Patti, we just need to trick Chris into thinking we dug up Patti.

Remember, he didn't question what he was doing when we told him there was a bug in his PS3. All we have to do is claim that we dug up his dog and state something like "The doghouse should press the earth flat again and remove all the evidence that someone took the remains". The word "remains" is crucial--we don't know if she was cremated or not.

The new plan

I wonder if there's a way for us to communicate to Chris that his fanbase has dwindled to a meager few hundred?

Daria no doubt knows about it, but the odds of her making an update to that effect are slim to none.

I mean, how could she ignore:

• The presence of a far superior comic (Asperchu)
• Chris refusing to update even the mailbags, which don't require inspiration to respond to.
• Chris breaking his promise to never put blood and gore in his comic. Many, many fans who had stuck with Sonichu simply because it wasn't as "violent" as Asperchu left for Asperchu then, as while Alec has shown blood and gore he's still a better writer.
• Chris breaking his promise to remove himself from the comic 100%
• Sonichu 10 was a horrible failure--95% of the remaining fans abandoned him throughout the issue, leaving only a small core that thought it was any good.
• And many, many more.

I wonder if there's a group of fans putting together a list of greivences against Chris, something like "We will only consider reading your comic again if you follow our demands--Sonichu is nothing without the fanbase". And I wonder if they'd be willing to send their manifesto to Daria--she seems agreeable, unlike Chris.