User:Hayate666

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Long time lurker, psyfag and first time wiki-contributor.

Flag of Europe Eurofag: This user is a Eurofag and insists on using unnecessary vowels.




Why would anybody hate Chris?

Some anonymous user People's Poet on /cwc/ explained it so eloquently, that I feel required to save his post for posterity.

I find it nearly impossible to describe just how much I hate Chris, I had an abusive stepmother that I liked more than him. Let's begin with the simplest reason; Sonichu. Sonichu is a fucking recolor bastard child hybrid of sonic and pikachu, two characters I used to look back upon with fond feelings, now I can't even stand the sight of them.


2.) His writing; I've tried several times to stomach the sonichu comics, each attempt resulting in massive failure, the constant ripoffs from other more popular franchises... I can't list anything else... that's it, it's all one collective super rip-off equating in mass to a black hole, threatening to drain the life from pop culture as a whole.


3.) "Da Big Man" himself. He is a walking contradiction. In literary terms he is what would be called a "grotesque" or a character that inspires empathy and disgust. In this context do not mistake empathy for sympathy, we certainly are not feeling Chris Chan's emotions, but we understand them. And through that understanding we are thoroughly disgusted. He's a freak, no better than pond scum, he shows no remorse, and lays blame to anyone but himself, because he can absolutely never be in the wrong. he is (after all) perfect, the mayor of CWC and a tormented virgin with rage trapped forever in virginia. Woe and betide those that would stand to thwart his love quest, for they receive worse than the death sentence, the dreaded "CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HA!" How dare they even think to stand in the way of such an innocent soul.


He doesn't have a proper perspective about anything at all, he believes cheesy one liners are an integral facet of courting a woman. He cannot keep his hands to himself. His idealized future is to have a wife bear the unholy hellspawn that would be his daughter Crystal. I shudder to think of the possibility that his child might be born male? What would he do then? I can imagine him casually disregarding the wife who never bore his daughter, leaving her alone to raise his spawn in an unforgiving world, crawling back to mommy so she can tell him it wasn't his fault and that he is still her perfect little boy.


I hate Chris Chan to a very deep degree, to the point where I relish the experience of seeing him in pain. I could die happy if I could just once see him shake with fear, explaining to us over youtube just how scared and alone he is, to see him cry real tears for the first time in his pathetic existence, to see his realization that even the friend zone is too exclusive a club for him.


It's safe to say that everything about Chris is a reason I hate him. I don't like hating people, I've even had thoughts of trying to help him, just so I don't have to hate him. However I know that he will never accept my help, and in turn will just make me hate him more.


However, out of every twisted and absurd flaw Chris displays, one stands out above the rest. I can forgive almost anything, but this is the icing on the shit cake, the dynamite stick at the end of the fuse. His reason for hating men. He hates all men because they took all the pretty girls leaving him with none to choose from. Whenever I read this statement I feel like driving all the way to Virginia and hitting Chris Chan right square in the teeth, with a baseball bat. The reason this stands out above all else is not because I am a man, but rather because his ego is so huge that he believes he has first pick of any woman he sees. He fails to realize that females are not simply slices of cake to be passed around at a birthday party. This is exemplified when Chris attempts to date Kacey, knowing full well that Liquid was her boyfriend. He doesn't care, he just wants some goddamn china.


These are the reasons I hate chris

And another:

Some of you people are actually creepier than Chris. I don't understand this relentless ass-kissing of Chris that goes on, he's completely disgusting, IMMORAL and shameless - that's the fucking reason most sensible people are fascinated by him.

You're not even well informed about his disgusting behavior. Chris continued to grope Megan (touching her hair, hugging her without permission and cornering her) even after she strongly objected, it took his nasty pictures of her, an attempt by Chris to ingratiate himself with ED, to finally make her see sense. Megan was the only woman he knew, not his mother or paid to listen to his shit, that treated him with any sympathy which he repaid with constant low-level sexual harassment and then public humiliation in an attempt to buy off on-line enemies he'd never met! He has stated many times that he regularly masturbated and drew pornographic pictures of Megan to avoid doing "something stupid" to her. How clearly does he have to spell it out to you? How does his treatment of Megan indicate that Chris has a basic sense of morality however confused?

He is a classic misanthrope, he viscerally loathes men but "respects and loves all women" simply because women can give him what he wants: vindication against his father, sex, house cleaning, a daughter (his ideal sister, lover and daughter ARE THE SAME FUCKING THING!) and his diaper changing. However, he isn't prepared to spend any money or change any aspect of life to achieve these goals and he has explained his failures thus far as a conspiracy between men and the many "pretty girls" he has a God-given right to choose from. He recently forced a poor female shop clerk to measure him for a bra, one can only imagine how unpleasant that experience must've been for her. Again, how do these events indicate that Chris has a basic sense of morality however confused?

His mind is a day-glo sewer. There isn't a single positive aspect to his character or life. He has never demonstrated any higher motive than wanting a female slave ("my mom won't be around forever") and to be respected and highly paid for his manifest talents ("I am a brilliant artist"). He's never treated a single human being with anything like genuine and selfless respect.

Essay