Da Update (CWC-ism)
Dialogue used by Christian, in an exceedingly awkward attempt to sound laid-back and casual, in the pages of Sonichu 7. As Chris's fans have searched the internet for the latest news from our hero, "da update" has become shorthand for "the latest failure Chris has committed."
Hey Guys! What's da update?
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Ongoing
The things described in this article are still happening, or are still being looked into. As a result, it may be subject to frequent change, and the information provided may not be entirely reliable.
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29 March 2009
Chris sings the farting song.
28 March 2009
Chris sings "Lovin' You" by Minnie Ripperton for Ivy and shows that he has clearly lost his fucking mind.
27 March 2009
In a new video, Chris goes completely plonkers at Clyde Cash. He shouts his lungs out, and threatens to call the police. [1]
27 March 2009
Christian posts the Tour of Christian's House on Youtube.
He also posts a new video where he threatens anyone who fucks with him.
26 March 2009
Chris posts a music video for Ivy, with remarkable departures from his previous videos, such as video edits, unified song in the background, and more. Furthermore, the images shown in the comic, featuring Clyde Cash as a villain, may be from Sonichu 9.
24 March 2009
Chris posts a mysterious video which is deleted within minutes. Based on this Krapple Komputer Kompany thread, this is a maverick troll who is the first not to be associated with PVCC. The video is related posted by Chris here.
19 March 2009
The Pickle Man tricks Chris and steals his date. [2]
18 March 2009
New video. [3]
16 March
Christian posts two new videos, apologizing to Emily and the people at the Game Place.
13 March 2009
Chris calls out for Miss Emily and Stephanie, presumably two hopeful new sweethearts which may cause Chris to bring his love quest back on the Internet.
Some argue that it's a trap designed to get those two trolls v& by Chris's parents.
10 March 2009
Chris uploads a new video in which he reads passages from Leviticus that support his case against homos. He also announces that he has ceased using the internet to further his Love Quest and will instead be courting women in real life using knowledge gained from John Tesh and a book written by a nine-year-old boy. He then questions the nine-year-old's assertion that men have to do all the work in approaching girls--effectively proving that Chris has less game than a third grader. [4]
04 March 2009
Christian uploads two new videos giving his side of the story in the audio released on March 3. He announces that he isn't planning to wear his medallion anymore (because he destroyed it and stuck the pieces in his ass) and that he is still the rightful mayor of CWCville despite verbally ceding power to Billy Mays. He also claims that BlueSpike is responsible for sonichuandrosechu.com going down and implores his fans to help him get the site back. [5] [6] Apparently still not realising YouTube is forever, within 24 hours Chris deleted the video where he explained how BlueSpike made him shove the medallion up his arse.
03 March 2009
Encyclopedia Dramatica's Chris-Chan page presents an alleged newspaper article claiming that Christian has committed suicide, leading to rampant speculation about Chris's fate. Total morons are invited to employ the basic deductive reasoning skills that Chris failed to use when determining whether Ryan Cash, Sarah Jackson, and PandaHalo actually died.
Meanwhile, audio has surfaced in which Christian endures humiliations from Max to protect his PlayStation Network account and to gain an opportunity to visit Julie, only to learn that Julie and Max are both imaginary characters concocted by trolls.
01 March 2009
It is rumored that Chris' parents have confiscated his webcam/PSEye and microphone after an anonymous troll sent his father several postcards in an envelope that contained screencaps of Chris' CWC-ikigate sex tape.
26 February 2009
Chris travels to Cleveland, Ohio to visit his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart Julie.
24 February, 2009
Chris' 27th birthday. Aunt Corina buried.
23 February 2009
Chris uploads a video tribute to Julie, wherein he compares their newfound love with Romeo and Juliet. In a shocking admission, Chris says he doesn't know very much about Shakespeare.
Additionally, Chris appears to have completely convinced himself that Panda Halo died in the Australia bushfires earlier in the month. [7]
20 February 2009
Video footage of Christian porking a sex doll and calling it Julie is released on the internet. [8]
18 February 2009
Chris makes two new videos, One a shoutout to Sarah May apologising for what he said in a conversation with her and pleading her not to commit suicide [9] and a second retracting his comments of his hatred towards homosexuals [10].
16 February 2009
Christian posts the first three pages of Episode 19 from Sonichu 9. That's right, he started work on this issue on December 1, and ten weeks later all he has to show for it is the cover and three pages. Three uncolored pages. [11]
12 February 2009
Christian opens an all-new adults-only section of his website, Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack. The site effectively serves as a repository for the various Rule 34 drawings Chris had previously put into Sonichu 8 and on his Encyclopedia Dramatica page.
10 February 2009
- Chris cleans up his room to honor a promise he made to Clyde Cash. Also, Chris finally exposes the Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé impostors as frauds. In reaction to his discovery, the rest of the world population was reported as saying "Well, duh." [12]
08 February 2009
- Christian announces the new new new location of his Sonichu website, [13]. He also refers to the recent wildfires in Victoria, Australia, and worries that PandaHalo may be have been killed in the blaze (even though she lives over 1,000 kilmoeters away in South Australia) [14]
06 February 2009
- In a stunning correction of the previous video, Chris reveals that he was coerced by Clyde Cash into saying he was gay. Clyde had threatened to kill Chris's gal-pal unless he "came out of the closet" and destroyed his vibrator. Ironically, this video caused many to learn for the first time that Chris owned a vibrator in the first place, cementing public opinion that Chris is ridiculously gay. [15]
05 February 2009
- Christian reveals that he's gay [16]