Angelica
| “ | FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of God?!! | ” |
| Chris, commenting on Angelica's masturbation in church | ||
| “ | Angelica is a religious type; she feels peace and tranquility often from the presence of God and Jesus and her healthy life in general. | ” |
| Chris, describing the Sneasel-fucking whore in Mailbag 7. | ||
Angelica (born June 6, 1966) is a Sonic recolor rosechu, and a member of the Chaotic Combo that formed from eggs released by the rainbow as a result of the collision between Super Sonic the Hedgehog and a Pikachu. She is a flying/electric type, which would probably not work since electric attacks do horrifying damage to flying types. Despite the fact that she was hatched in 2004, Chris, being the faggot he is, still insists that she is over 18 and therefore making porn of her masturbating doesn’t make him a pedophile.
Angelica was brought up in a strict convent, with nuns being the only family she ever knew. Her painfully bleak upbringing clashes with her apparently insatiable sexual appetites, no doubt causing her massive tension and guilt. The fierce repression of her youth, in the cold surroundings of the brutal convent, led to her later rebellion which tragically took the form of her indoctrination into the Chaotic Combo. She went from diligently worshiping Jesus to being nothing but a masturbatory aid for her demented creator, another lobotomized beast rattling around in the bird-cage of Chris's mind.
She is a combination of 3 characters:
Sonichu Babies
Angelica's Egg came into the possession of a group of nuns, who nurtured the egg until its hatching, revealing a small, white, winged Rosey. After learning how to fly under the watch of nuns, she evolved one night in her sleep - on said night also being secretly visited by Chris-chan, who gave her shoes and a scrunchie - but nothing to cover up her breasts and genitals...
When Hedgehogs Meet
Angelica meets the Chaotic Combo moments after planting a flower garden and viewing it from above, when all of a sudden, Blake and Punchy come crashing through, shortly followed by the rest of the rainbow retards. After a short discussion, Angelica, along with her newfound team, proceed to beat-up Blake (like a good Christian would) and celebrate accordingly. It is established that Angelica's main mode of attack and defense is through using her wings rather than any electric powers.
Sonichu 5
She has brief cameos in this issue but no speaking lines because she has no personality at all.
Sonichu 6
In this issue, Angelica pretends to be concerned about Chris's imaginary twin sister getting trapped in the mirror one minute, and the next minute she talks about Bionic the Hedgehog’s great basketball skills. She and Bubbles think to themselves “What a dreamboat.” Way to develop your characters, Chris.
Episode 18 Prologue
Here we see the Chaotic Combo celebrating their 19th birthday on February 2, 2008. This is a lame ass attempt to make Chris look like less of a pedophile.
Spring break
Whilst Angelica and Rosechu are sun-bathing, Bubbles gives a lengthy explanation about why water pokemon don’t need sunscreen and cannot tan, after Angelica questions her on the subject. After Blake shows up, kicks sand at them before being led away by Bubbles, Angelica and Rosechu giggle about Blake's faux macho attitude.
Love Quest
Angelica came to show no romantic interest in any other character, though randomly decided to shack up with Reginald Sneasel in Episode 19 after he called her cute. For a Christian, she sure is easy...
Rule 34
Chris drew Rule 34 of Angelica, which he uploaded to Encyclopedia Dramatica, hoping that it would encourage Jason Kendrick Howell et al. to remove his article. Instead, his plan backfired, resulting in an increased interest in him and his work. It can be extrapolated from this behavior that Chris would try to put out a fire with gasoline in real life.
Mass Debating
The picture in question was originally included with the caption "FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of God?!!", suggesting that Angelica has a penchant for masturbating in church. Some believe that the real reason for Chris's dismissal from Grace Baptist Church was a similar incident, in which the line was repeated to him, although this is most likely speculative and unsubstantiated.
Angelica's struggle with sexual sin might be an insight into Chris's own struggle between his Christianity and his sexual desires. Chris, despite claiming to be a Christian, acts similarly to Angelica, maintaining a veneer of piousness yet living in a prison of sex dolls, masturbation, pornography, and complete submission to his sexuality.
Gallery
Yu-Gi-OH BABY
The power of prayer... it does nothing to relieve the crapfest.
