13 Lucky Writing Tips

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1. Use standard written English.
...
4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
...
13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
Selected writing tips
The paper.

13 Lucky Writing Tips is a school paper detailing a list of techniques to improve rhetoric. It is likely Chris simply wrote them down as a teacher read them off, as he begins disregarding them as soon as tip #4, switching from standard written English to Spanish in order to flex his Peggy Hill-esque grasp on the language. It is possible that Chris actually invented a new kind of grammatical error: for most learners of a new language it is a common mistake to use false cognates (a word that seems like a word in their own language but has a completely different meaning), but Chris pushes the envelope by using assumed cognates, words that don't exist in the language at all, that Chris made up. Thus, this document is a candid example of Chris's poor grasp of the Spanish language.

Transcription

Christian W. Chandler
1/19/99
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:

  1. Use standard written English.
  2. Do not use contractions in formal writing.
  3. You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
  4. The thesis statement es el finallié sentenc estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
  5. Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el [illegible] llama de author y llama de work.
  6. Los paragraphs support y relaté qúe el thesis.
  7. Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
  8. Los details support y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
  9. Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
  10. Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
  11. Necisitas tres muchaco point mirar de pointé.
  12. Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
  13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.

Mistakes

Line 4

-finallié would go after estancé if estancé was a noun, however estancé literally translates to stagnated, it is clear Chris believes it means sentence, the correct word is sentencia, also the word is final.

-The Spanish equivalent of introductory is, believably introductorio and the word for paragraph is párrafo.

Line 5

-Chris neglects to conjugate "escribes" into the imperative escribe.

-The Spanish form of thesis is spelled tesis.

-He misspells and erroneously uses the infinitive form of incluir.

-He uses llama as the translation for name, anyone who has been to one day at a Spanish class likely knows that llama is a verb and means call, while the correct word would be nombre. It is to be noted that llamar is a pronominal verb, and as such in can be conjugated in reflexive form; Spanish speakers often use this form to introduce themselves or other people (e.g., Él se llama Ricardo, lit. "he calls himself Ricardo", as opossed to the common English construct, "His name is Ricardo"). This is likely the origin of Chris's confusion. Furthermore, if llama were a noun it would be feminine and addressed with the feminine article la.

-The spanish word for work even in this sense is Trabajo, which any high school Spanish student should know.

Line 6

-Chris uses the words support and relaté in lieu of apoyan and relacionan.

-Erroneously uses paragragh and thesis.

Line 7

-Chris uses the 2nd person singular (you) conjugation for tener.

-Uses paragraph and estancés as well as the word unifying when the word is "unificando", also unifying" is an adjective and would go after concepto.

-When the words de and el are used consecutively they are combined into del.

Line 8

-The Spanish word for details is detalles, Chris also uses support, relaté, estancé, and paragraph.

-He uses topic when he means tema.

-Doesn't combine a and el into al.

Line 9

-The word for adequate is adecuado.

-He repeats support and details.

Line 10

-The Spanish word for literature is literatura and is feminine.

-Again Chris puts the adjective before the noun like in English.

-Uses tense when he means tiempo.

Line 11

-Chris begins speaking French somehow, and uses the French word for very, tres, and uses muchaco instead of mucho, literally writing "very boy".

-He uses points/pointe when he means punto.

-It is not clear what the sentence is supposed to mean but it is wrong in some way.

Line 12

-This sentence makes no sense, it is not clear what verb he meant, but creer means to think or believe.

Line 13

-While this may be the most correct line, the Spanish word for carefully is cuidadosamente.

-Cheques is not conjugated into the imperative cheque.