User:One With The Lulz

Encyclopedia Dramatica User This user forges lulz and spreads drama throughout his/her homeland.

It was a nice clear night in CWCville and the weather couldn't be better. But not everything was peaceful in the city because a certain car was driving down the highway with a rather stressed out driver. A certain yellow hedgehog pokémon was at the wheel with a pink one sitting in the seat next to him.

"You know Sweet Bolt," Rosechu said with a gleeful tone, "I think we should go out again tomorrow. We've had so much fun that I'm still excited."

Sonichu didn't look very excited, in fact his eye was twitching and looked like he was about to pop a vein. At first their date was fun indeed, they visited an amusement park and decided to spend their date there.

Flashback to earlier that afternoon:

"Wow! Cool! Let's spend our date here." Rosechu was very cheerful when she and Sonichu drove by the amusement park. Sonichu however wasn't so cheerful. Rosechu's constant rude appearances throughout his recent life and her annoying conversations were enough to drive anyone mad, let alone a hedgehog with a short temper. "All right Rosechu," Sonichu said with some disgust in his voice, "let's get this over with."

CWCville's "Mega Amusement Park" was one of the largest amusement parks in all of Virginia. It had over fifty rides, hundreds of gaming booths, dozens of restaurants, and a three story arcade the size of a large warehouse.

"Well, let's at least go on all of the rides," Rosechu said cheerfully, "after all, we may not get another chance to come here anytime soon." She saw a nearby clock and it read 3 o'clock in the afternoon. "You see Sweet Bolt, we have plenty of time."

Sonichu decided to loosen up for a change. Since he isn't really here for the date, he could at least try the rides and have fun. At least Rosechu didn't choose some boring stage plays or operas like in their past dates. Sonichu and Rosechu went on many rides and nearly threw up several times, especially on the large ones. They ate at a couple restaurants, and played in the arcade for a few hours to recover from the rides.

Sonichu was starting to get a headache from staring at the arcade screens, but noticed that Rosechu was still enjoying herself. He looked at the clock on a wall and noticed it was now 9 o'clock in the evening. Sonichu then looked through the amusement park brochure and checked the map. He then came to startling realization. They've been here for six long hours and they haven't even been on half of the rides! Now his headache is getting much worse and he definitely felt like going home now.

"Uh, Rosechu," Sonichu said while rubbing his temples, "I think we've been here long enough. We should go home now."

Rosechu just had another "game over" and was out of quarters. She's not very good with arcade games, but she seems to have fun anyways. "You know, I think you're right, I'm feeling a bit tired myself. But before we leave, I want to try one more ride."

Sonichu gave a frustrated sigh. "All right Rosechu, which one?"

Rosechu pointed at a particularly large roller coaster on the brochure. Heck, it was the largest one in the entire amusement park and was appropriately named "The Giant of CWCville" or "G.O.C.W.C." for short. Sonichu seemed rather worried, since he's never been on a roller coaster anywhere near this big. It had a 295-foot drop, had countless loops and twists, and the ride lasts for nearly ten minutes! It would also be like having sex with Rosechu! But if this will get him home and finally away from Rosechu, he was willing to force himself despite his throbbing headache.

After more than half an hour of waiting in line, they finally got on the ride, and after the long ride was done, they each had different reactions. Rosechu was hollering with excitement and was very happy, Sonichu would also be very excited if it weren't for his headache. His head now felt like small bombs were detonating inside and he once again started rubbing his head.

Rosechu noticed that he was rubbing his head very hard. "Hey Sweetie, why are you rubbing your head like that?"

"Well, duh! I've got a splitting headache!" Sonichu sounded very irritated, "why else do you think I'm rubbing my head?"

"Well I thought that you're just clearing your mind or something," she replied with some concern in her voice, "if you would have told me earlier, we could have gone home. After all, I don't want to see you like this, it hurts me just as much to see you like this."

Sonichu couldn't believe what he just heard. They could have left this place a long time ago! "How could she have NOT known that I'm in pain," Sonichu thought angrily, "is she really that dumb, or she always off in her own world?" Sonichu was now on the verge of beating the shit out of Rosechu, big time.

"Come on Rosechu, let's go now. When I get home, I'm going to swallow a couple bottles of aspirin and hopefully that'll be enough to stop my torturous headache." Sonichu just barely walked a few steps and noticed that Rosechu wasn't following him.

Sonichu walked back to Rosechu and practically yelled at her. "Now what!? What are you doing? Didn't you agree to leave now?" She didn't answer and Sonichu noticed that Rosechu was bending over slightly and clutching her belly. Sonichu's anger dropped slightly and started to feel concerned for her.

"If this is some trick to make me feel sorry for you, it's not going to work," Sonichu said, but she still didn't answer or move.

Sonichu finally got fed up with the situation and decided to shake some sense into her. But before he touched her, he heard Rosechu groaning and noticed something wrong with her face. He grabbed her and noticed that her pink face has almost turned green.

"Rosechu! Are you all right? What's happening?" Sonichu now sounded more worried than angry and he knew that this was no trick.

"Honey, I...b...b...BLEEEEEEH!" She threw up all over Sonichu's face and half of his body! Sonichu was totally shocked by what just happened.

He suddenly became so furious that the vomit covering his face and body started to sizzle. "Why.... you.... little.... piece of -."

"I-I'm so sorry Sweet Bolt," Rosechu tried her very best to apologize, "I didn't know that this would happen. I guess the G.O.C.W.C. had a bigger affect on me than I thought. After all, I -."

She began to feel another urge to throw up and Sonichu quickly let go of her. She put her hands over her mouth and her cheeks started to puff out. She looked around and found a trashcan nearby and ran to it. She then threw up the rest of her "contents" into the trashcan and slowly walked back to Sonichu, who looked like he was about to blow up.

"Um, Honey, I think that we should clean up before we leave." She then walked to the ladies room to clean up. Sonichu however just stood where he was like a statue. He refused to except what just happened, it was like a nightmare.

Sonichu then looked around and noticed that everyone was staring. A few were rude enough to laugh and point. "What's the matter with all of you!? Have you ever seen a yellow and BROWN pokémon?" Sonichu finally proceeded to the men's room while everyone around him started plugging their noses from the stench of the vomit covering him. As soon as he entered the men's room, everyone inside evacuated and ran out, also holding their noses. Sonichu had nearly caused a stampede just by walking into a restroom! He has never been so humiliated in his whole life. Now he knew how his father felt.

Flashback to the present:

Sonichu started grinding his teeth together so hard, it seemed that they would break.

"You know Sweetie," Rosechu said, totally oblivious to Sonichu's current emotions, "it was really nice that person at the booth gave you some aspirin for you headache. This date was definitely unusual, but I've had more fun than any of our other dates. Didn't you enjoy yourself Sweet Bolt?"

Sonichu was so silent that Rosechu didn't think anyone was driving. She looked at Sonichu, "hello? Sonichu, did you hear what I just said? You know it's rude to ignore someone who's talking to you. I'm not distracting your driving am I?"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh," Sonichu screamed so loud that the windows of their car nearly shattered. Immediately he pulled the handbrake and the car came to a screeching stop.

Rosechu had a very shocked look on her face. "Sonichu! Are you crazy? What're you doing, we're in the middle of a highway!" Sonichu gave her no answer, yet.

The highway started getting foggy and visibility was getting worse. Normally in this situation, you're supposed to drive very carefully and more slowly to decrease the chances of an accident. However in this scene, a very stupid thing is being done. A car is parked right in the middle of the highway! The traffic is very light, but that could still be dangerous in this case.

"Sonichu! What do you think you're doing?" Rosechu was very hysterical while Sonichu just crossed his arms and was totally silent. His face had a look of extreme stress and veins were popping out all over. "Sonichu, if this is some kind of sick joke, stop it! This is very dangerous!" Sonichu clenched his fist so hard that his knuckles were cracking.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Sonichu had finally lost control of himself. "I've had about enough of that huge, noisy cavern in your face!" Sonichu quickly unbuckled his safety belt and stumbled out of the car. As soon as he got out, a passing car swerved around their illegally parked car and nearly hit him. (Parking in the middle of a highway is illegal in Virginia, you know, duh!)

"Hey, get off the highway you road hog," the passing driver said angrily, "go learn how to drive." The passing car disappeared into the fog. "That's Sonichu, you dolt!" Sonichu yelled while waving his fist furiously. "I'm out of here Rosechu! Go drive yourself home." (Rosechu does know how to drive you know, she's a woman).

Sonichu speeds off down the highway, nearly hitting another car, which the driver also threw an insult at him. Sonichu ignored the insult this time because his priority now was to go straight home and get away from Rosechu. He looked back and barely noticed the headlights of Rosechu's car through the fog and also noticed that they haven't moved.

Sonichu stood on the curb of the highway to avoid blocking any traffic and starting waiting very impatiently for her car to get moving. After all, he doesn't want to be responsible for causing a car pile-up. Her car still wasn't moving and Sonichu was now on the verge of killing Rosechu himself.

Sonichu ran back to the car and noticed that Rosechu was still in here seat with her safety belt still on. Her arms were crossed and had a pretty upset look on her face, but nowhere near as upset as Sonichu's face. "Rosechu! Get out of here, you're going to cause a huge accident." Rosechu decided to give Sonichu the silent treatment just like what he did to her earlier. (In case you didn't know, the car is Bubbles'. Sonichu obviously doesn't need one because he's faster than any car, and he doesn't have to deal with traffic. Why he was driving in the first place is irrelevant.).

"I said get out of here! Go, now!" Sonichu was getting very frustrated with her attitude and was starting to get nervous because of where they are. Sonichu and Rosechu noticed that the fog was getting thicker by the minute. Luckily there's little traffic, but they're still pressing their luck with the situation.

"No!" Rosechu said defiantly, "our date isn't finished until I'm at home and I want YOU to take me home."

Sonichu started laughing almost maniacally. "What do you mean our date isn't finished? Our date was over the moment you decided to marry me!" Rosechu was shocked by what he said and had a "how could you say that" look on her face.

Sonichu continued, "do you know why I was stupid enough to go out with you on this date and our other past dates? I'll tell you why, it's so that I have a hole for my cock. Every time you want a date night, you just nag and nag and nag and nag and nag, and so on. So I figured that if I go out with you, you would at least be satisfied and I could get up in your twat, and then I could blow my load and abandon you and the kids until I feel horny again!" Sonichu then gave a huge sigh of relief, "ooh, that felt so good. I should have said that a long time ago."

Rosechu was shocked much more than any other time in her life, and her face showed it very well. Sonichu didn't care though, to him seeing her face like this was priceless and it made him feel so good that his headache nearly disappeared. His electric hedgehog genitals were starting to engorge at the thought.

"I.... I.... um.... I.... uh," Rosechu was totally speechless and was caught completely off guard by those cruel words. She never expected such words to come out of Sonichu's own mouth.

The only thing she could do now is burst into tears and she covered her face with her hands. The very image of the world around her had been shattered by Sonichu's "confession." Sonichu didn't even give a care, seeing her like this was a sadistic dream come true. He always wanted to see her suffer at least once so that she can experience his frustrations towards her. Unfortunately, Sonichu is about to get much more that he bargained for. The fog had now become so thick that it was hard to see anything, Sonichu and Rosechu almost felt like they were the only ones left in the world.

Rosechu finally felt defeated, far too shocked to say anything back. She slowly took her hands off her face to unbuckle her safety belt and move to the drivers seat. But before she touched her safety belt, they heard an ominous noise coming from the very thick fog behind the car. (Keep in mind that the car is NOT parked on the curb, it's right in the middle of the highway!)

Like a phantom jumping out of the fog, Sonichu and Rosechu stared in horror as a huge 18-wheeler truck was coming right at them! (Remember, Sonichu's not in the car, but Rosechu still is!) They both saw the truck driver's very surprised face and the driver quickly jammed his brake as hard as he could. Sonichu instinctively jumped back to avoid the impact, but immediately remembered about Rosechu! But it was too late though, the 18-wheeler smashed into the back of the car at full force and carried it through the dense fog, leaving behind a very shocked electric hedgehog. It took nearly a football field distance to come to a complete stop. Sonichu snapped out of his shock and quickly followed, hoping and praying to God and Jesus that she was all right.

Warning: the following gets rather graphic, but not as graphic as Chris' comics. You've been warned!

What Sonichu saw was like a nightmare to him. Rosechu's car was now pointing the opposite direction that it originally was. About fifty feet behind the car, He could barely make out the 18-wheeler truck that smashed into the car. He noticed that the truck and its trailer had swerved sideways, forming a wall across the entire highway.

A few other cars that were passing by nearly hit the truck as well. But they all stopped miraculously in time and simply drove around the truck. They had to drive on the shoulder of the highway to do this. Sonichu could hear insults being exchanged between the truck driver and the other passing cars. All the cars seemed oblivious to Sonichu and Rosechu's predicament, except the truck driver.

Sonichu raced over to Rosechu's wrecked car, the back was smashed in and some windows were shattered. "Rosechu! Are you all right? Speak to me, say something!" Rosechu just made a few groans, so obviously she's still alive. He noticed that the chest strap of her safety belt had snapped. He also noticed her injuries and they didn't seem life threatening. Her face was slightly bloody and her nose was definitely broken. He also noticed a couple of her teeth stuck on the dashboard and also a few small bruises, cuts, and scrapes all over her.

He tried to open up Rosechu's door to help her, but it was jammed. He ran around to the driver's side door and noticed that the door had completely broken off, giving Sonichu easy access to help her. Sonichu climbed half-way in, pushing away the limp driver's airbag (contrary to popular stereotypes, airbags DO NOT stay inflated. They inflate for only about a second or two, just long enough to protect your head from the steering wheel. However, in Rosechu's case, this doesn't matter). He reached over and tried to unbuckle the rest of her safety belt, but it was stuck (how that could happen is beyond me).

The truck driver jumped out of his 18-wheeler and ran over to them to give any possible help. "Hey, is there any way I can help? I don't want to leave you guys like this."

Sonichu was now getting very frantic. He didn't want to use his electric moves to cut off the safety belt, he could injure her even more. Sonichu then looked at the driver, "do you have something that can cut off this thing?"

The driver was also starting to get nervous, "um, oh yeah! I have a pocket knife." He quickly started digging through his pockets.

"Great," Sonichu said, slightly relieved, "and after that, call the ambulance." The truck driver was taking a long time searching through his pockets. "HURRY UP SLOWPOKE!" Sonichu almost screamed at him.

Sonichu and the truck driver are working frantically to pry Rosechu out of her car. She was bleeding badly out of her mouth, possibly from losing her teeth. While the truck driver was trying to find his pocketknife, Sonichu decided to ask a few questions. "Hey, what's your name?"

The truck driver replied, "well, you called me 'slowpoke' didn't you? Just kidding, lol, it's Yssup." "There it is," Yssup finally found his pocket knife, now he just has to open it! "It's kind of stuck, so I'll have to mess with it a little to get the blade out."

Sonichu is now starting to get annoyed, but he's mostly worried about Rosechu's condition. He also wanted Yssup to jump back into his truck and get it out of the way before a pile-up occurs. He asked Yssup another question to temporarily get his mind off his worries. He noticed that the fog was still very thick.

"Ken, tell me what happened after you hit that car," Sonichu asked with a nervous tone.

Yssup was still trying to get the blade out, "I was doing about 35 mph, the legal speed limit for this kind of weather. What's the matter with this knife? Anyways, after I saw the car, I slammed on my brake. Controlling this truck with a 25 ton trailer is no easy task, especially in this fog. Slamming the brake causes a huge loss in control of my truck and the trailer, and it's very hard to regain control. I'm surprised that I didn't tip over or drive off the highway." Sonichu didn't care about the autistic attention to details. He got enough of that in the daytime.

"Okay," Sonichu said, "if your truck hit the car from BEHIND, how did you end up further down the road than the car? Do you need help with that?" Sonichu pointed at the pocket knife.

"That's all right, I've almost got it," Yssup said as politely as his nervous self could, "as for the car, as soon as I hit it, I completely lost control of my truck and I was continuously swerving back and forth to regain control. While doing this, I saw the car slip loose from the front of my truck and ended up where you see it now. As for me, I continued down the road and managed to stop completely. But since I have no control of my truck, it stopped in the position that you now see. My truck is now an illegal roadblock!" Yssup finally pulled out the knife, "all right! I got it!"

"Hurry up, before something else happens." Sonichu was looking around very nervously, trying to see anything else through the thick fog. He was very afraid of what could come out next. Unfortunately, his fears are about to come true very soon (SPOILER ALERT).

Rosechu gave a loud moan and started stirring. "S-Sweet Bolt, where are you?"

Sonichu went to her side, "Zapbud, please don't move. Your badly injured and I don't want you moving around too much." His concern for her was so great that he no longer noticed his headache (it's still there though).

Rosechu gave a weak and bloody smile, "I guess Bubbles should have bought a car with a better air bag and a stronger safety belt. When I recover, I'm gonna sue the car company. Hehe." She gave a short laugh and started wincing from the pain, especially from her face.

While Sonichu was comforting Rosechu, Yssup finally cut of her safety belt. "All right, it's done. I'll go run to my truck and call an ambulance." Sonichu immediately tried to pull Rosechu out, but her leg was caught on something.

"Rosechu," Sonichu said, trying to say calm, "I'm going to pull your leg free, so try not to move around, okay?"

Yssup barely took two steps when they all heard another loud engine noise coming from the fog, and then some headlights. They were all terrified when another 18-wheeler truck came rushing out of the fog, going faster than the first truck, and was coming right at them! This driver didn't see the car because the idiot was drinking a large glass of CWC Cola that covered his face! They just stared and they were all petrified. Sonichu snapped out of it and tried to pull Rosechu out, but he was just a split second too late. Yssup also snapped out of his terrified trance and just barely jumped out of the way.

The 18-wheeler smashed into the FRONT of the car at full force, and the truck's brakes weren't hit this time. (Remember, the car is now pointing the opposite way from the first impact, and this time Rosechu no longer has her safety belt!) Once again, the car is being carried down the road. The force of the impact threw Sonichu out of the car, but Rosechu is still inside! (Sonichu was only halfway inside the car, so he got flung out). He managed to land on his feet, but he sprained his ankle. He looked towards the car and was completely horrified by what he's seeing.

The second truck was carrying the car towards the other 18-wheeler. The car is about to be smashed between two big 18-wheeler trucks and Rosechu's still in the car! The second truck's brakes were squealing loudly to avoid the impact, but it was far too late. Sonichu sprung up to at least try to save her, but he quickly fell over from his twisted ankle.

He then screamed with horror, "Rosechu, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

Rosechu noticed the truck coming behind her and realized that she's about to get crushed. "SONICHU, AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!"

The little 1-ton car was immediately crushed between the two 30-ton trucks. Shards of glass and metal were flying all over the place. Sonichu couldn't see the actual crash through the thick fog, but everyone within several miles could hear the impact, especially Sonichu. He quickly got back up and limped over to the crash scene as fast as his twisted-ankle leg could take him.

When he finally arrived, the scene was nothing short of a total nightmare. He could see that the second truck had crashed into the side of Yssup's truck. However, he couldn't find Rosechu's car anywhere! He decided to check between the truck for any sign of Rosechu. He ran over as fast he could, trying his best to ignore the pain shooting up his ankle.

Warning: This part is more graphic than the last chapter. You've been warned! But then again you read the Sonichu comics so fuck it.

Sonichu looked between the two wrecked trucks, and indeed he found her car. Luckily, her door had completely broken off. However, what he saw will haunt him forever. He got a good look at Rosechu and nearly threw up from what he saw. Her WHOLE body was very bloody, in fact there was hardly any pink color anywhere on her. It was as if she just dove into a pool of red paint, even her gloves and boots were bloody. Her whole body was crushed between her seat and the dashboard, now there's almost no way to pull her out.

Miraculously, she was still breathing (Which was as hopeless as a Harlequin fetus in brine breathing for air), but she had a very shocked and dazed look on her face. Sonichu also noticed that her hand was covering the right side of her head. He moved her hand away and saw something stuck to the side of her head.

Rosechu then turned her head to look at him, "S-Soooonniiiiichhhhhuuuuu," she struggled to speak in a whispering tone.

Sonichu almost jumped out of his shoes from what he saw, "this...this can't be real!"

He had a good view of Rosechu's head, and he was sure that he'll have nightmares. A long shard of metal about a foot long and less than an inch wide had completely impaled her head. It stabbed into her right temple and was sticking out the top of her head! Somehow she was still alive and barely conscious.

Just when Sonichu thought the situation couldn't get any worse, it did. A few seconds later, Rosechu tensed up like a wooden board and quickly clutched her throat, as if she was choking or drowning underwater. Then to Sonichu's horror, she started vomiting blood very violently! Blood was even squirting out of her nose, and the blood splattered all over the dashboard and the smashed windshield! Some of her blood nearly splattered on Sonichu!

After a few seconds of this, she started going into violent twitches and spasms, she's obviously going into shock! Sonichu was in a total panic, he absolutely didn't know what to do. He looked around and saw Yssup was in his truck, finally calling an ambulance, despite his truck getting damaged. Sonichu looked at the driver of the other truck and noticed that he too was calling an ambulance.

He looked back at Rosechu and noticed that she was no longer shaking around, but she was going limp! "Rosechu! No! Don't do this, don't you dare do this! Rosechu, look at me, LOOK AT ME!!" He yelled to get her attention and it worked. "Good. Now Rosechu, squeeze my hand. Come on, I know you can do it. I don't care if you break my hand, just squeeze it and don't let go!" Sonichu's panic was almost uncontrollable. She squeezed his hand weakly, "now Rosechu, don't look around, just look at my face. Concentrate only on my face and keep holding my hand. Now don't give up, I know and you know that we will survive this, okay? OKAY!?

He noticed that Rosechu still had a constant trickle of blood flowing out of her nose and mouth. She then she stopped breathing and the life in her eyes were fading away fast. "Rosechu, please breathe! Cough out any more blood in your lungs and try to breathe!" She couldn't do it unfortunately, she lost too much blood and was once again going onto shock.

"Rosechu! Please don't do this, DON'T DO THIS Rosechu!!" He was afraid to shake, he could injure her even further.

Finally, her body relaxed completely. Her grip on Sonichu's had completely loosened, and the life in her eyes disappeared almost immediately. Her face had a very calm and peaceful look, as opposed to her face being full of terror and agony like earlier. Sonichu slowly released her limp hand, noticing that Rosechu was still "staring" at him with lifeless eyes.

At that moment, Sonichu's sanity completely left his body. He started laughing maniacally and babbling unintelligibly while limping around the crash scene. He then heard a few more crashing sounds and many horns blaring, but he absolutely didn't care. He clumsily slipped on a small puddle of blood and fell over, hitting his head hard on the concrete.

He quickly got up and started feeling very dizzy. The world around him started spinning and going dark. He then fell over again, this time on his side, and dislocated his shoulder. He didn't seem to feel any pain though. The last thing he saw was Rosechu's limp hand hanging out of her car. The last thing he heard before blacking out was the wailing of emergency sirens. "I hope that they're not too late," Sonichu thought, then blacked out. This has been one very stressful day. AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!