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| Workin' on it! | | Workin' on it! |
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| =Sonichu chronology=
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| (becuase I get sick of trying to figure out when the hell all this stuff is supposed to have happened.)
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| TODO:
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| * Get dates for the sub-episodes and other Chris-centric stories (usually set at the same time they happened in real life)
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| * find birthdates for Sonichu's kids (there's no way he didn't write them down someplace)
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| * add dates for the founding of CWCville (I think Bob was supposed to have done it in 1982)
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| * look for other dates established in the comics and the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page Cwcipedia].
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| * clean up formatting, and links and more witty putdowns of Chris.
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| ==1980s==
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| ===1982===
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| '''24 February'''
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| * Christopher Weston Chandler is born.
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| ===1984===
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| * Naitsirhc is born.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu "Sonichu"], on CWCipedia</ref>
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| ===1985===
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| * Darkbind Sonichu is born on 15 May.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| ===1986===
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| * Kel is born.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| * Zelina Rosechu is born on 21 August.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| ===1988===
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| '''17 March'''
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| * The Pokemon who would become Sonichu hatches as a Pichu.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| '''22 December'''
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| * The Pokemon who would become Rosechu hatches.<ref name=sonichu8>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref>
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| ===1989===
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| '''1 February'''
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| * Silvana Rosechu is born on Earth's moon, hatched from an egg sent through time from 1998 by the fateful rainbow. Despite being imprisoned by the Cherokian Clan, and years away from release, [[Count Graduon]] rears the Pokemon and eventually grants it great power in exchange for turning it into a transsexual shapeshifter.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| '''2 February'''
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| * The vast majority of the eggs created by the magical rainbow of 1998 are sent through time to this date.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/> These eggs would hatch into Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, although they would go undocumented and unnamed until the creation of Sonichu and Rosechu in 1994. Presumably Jamsta, Lolisa, Simonla, and Zapina's parents hatched from these eggs, but this has not been established.
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| * EPISODE 10: The future Chatoic Combo (Wild, Punchy, Bubbles, Angelica, and Magi-Chan) all hatch. They individually go on to have various adventures until they meet in 2002.<ref name=sonichu3>[[Sonichu 3]]</ref><ref name=sonichu8/>
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| ==1990s==
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| ===1993===
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| * Zapina Rosechu is born<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| ===1994===
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| '''February 26'''
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| * The Pokemon who would become Sonichu evolves from a Pichu into a Pikachu<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| ===1998===
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| * Zelina Rosechu is put into a sleeping spell<ref name=sonichu10>[[Sonichu 10]]</ref>
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| '''June'''
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| * EPISODE 1: The events of Sonic Adventure occur in June of this year.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/> As Sonic battles the Perfect Chaos Monster with the Chaos Emeralds, a Pikachu rushes to help Sonic and collides with him. The collision transforms the Pikachu into a new species of Electric Hedgehog Pokemon that can talk like humans. After the battle, the new Pokemon names both itself and its species "Sonichu." A rainbow emerging from the collision of Sonic and Sonichu stretches across the region, striking Kel's Raichu and transforming it into Rosechu.<ref name=sonichu0>[[Sonichu 0]]</ref>
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| * Additionally, the rainbow magically creates "countless" eggs which are strewn across time and space. Allegedly all of the eggs are sent to 2 February, 1989, although this does not account for the origins of Darkbind and Zelina.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/><ref name=sonichu3/>
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| ''' July'''
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| * EPISODE 2: For several weeks Sonichu wanders like a wild Pokemon, until he discovers the home of Kel and Rosechu and decides to ask for food. He and Rosechu instantly fall in love, and on 4 July they share their first kiss.<ref name=sonichu0/><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| '''8 August (or 12 August)'''<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| <ref name=cwcipediaBlake>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Blake_Black_Sonichu "Blake Black Sonichu"], on CWCipedia</ref>
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| * EPISODE 3: Sonicu and Rosechu go shopping and encounter Naitsirhc, the 14-year-old son of Giovanni. Sonichu saves CWCville from Naitsirhc and meets the city's mayor, Christian Weston Chandler, who congratulates him.<ref name=sonichu0/><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| ===1999===
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| '''21 March (or 22 March)'''<ref name=sonichu8/><ref name=cwcipediaBlake/>
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| * EPISODE 4: Months after Naitsirhc collected Sonichu's DNA, Giovanni and Robotnik are able to use their cloning machines to create a clone of Sonichu that will be named Black Sonichu.<ref name=sonichu1>[[Sonichu 1]]</ref> Black Sonichu is "born" with the body of an 11-year-old Sonichu.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| '''14 August (or 22 July)'''<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/><ref name=cwcipediaBlake/>
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| * EPISODE 5-6: Black Sonichu kidnaps Rosechu to lure Sonichu into Giovanni and Robotnik's trap. With Sonic's help, Sonichu defeats the villains and rescues his heartsweet.<ref name=sonichu1/>
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| ==2000s==
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| ===2000===
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| * In recognition of their heroic deeds, Mayor Chandler offers to provide a house for Sonichu and Rosechu in CWCville.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| '''27 May'''
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| * Construction on the house at 14 Brunchville Lane is completed on 27 May.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| '''8 June'''
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| * Sonichu and Rosechu part ways with Kel, and move into their new home at 14 Brunchville Lane. Kel, who is 14, moves on to becoming a Pokemon Master.<ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| ===2002===
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| '''15 May'''
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| * EPISODE 11: Black Sonichu is sent by Naitsirhc to steal the sunstone from Flame the Sunbird. Sonichu learns of these plans and plans to intervene. Both of them happen to encounter Wild, Angelica, Punchy, Bubbles, and Magi-Chan, who join forces as the Chaotic Combo to help Sonichu teach the black hedgehog a lesson.<ref name=sonichu3/><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| ===2006===
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| '''17 March'''
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| * Wedding of Sonichu and Rosechu.<ref name=sonichu9>[[Sonichu 9]]</ref>
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| '''27 June'''
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| * EPISODE 12.5: Chris's dog Patti is transformed into the anthopomorphic Patti-Chan. Chris invites her to live in CWCville.<ref name=sonichu6>[[Sonichu 6]]</ref><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| ===2007===
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| '''17 March'''
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| * Sonichu turns 19 years old.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| '''11 October'''
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| * EPISODE 13: Mary Lee Walsh's Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens launches a mass invasion of CWCville. Chris-Chan Sonichu, Crystalina Rosechu, Sonichu, Rosechu, and the Chaotic Combo barely repel this invasion with the timely arrivals of Sailor Megtune and Megagi La Skunk. In a parting shot, Mary Lee Walsh attempts to imprison Chris in a dark mirror hole. The exposure of Chris's Sonichu medallion to the dark energy fulfills a section of the Anchuent Prophecy that causes Naitsirhc (who is miles away) to transform into Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc. Crystal rescues Chris from the mirror but is imprisoned herself.<ref name=sonichu5>[[Sonichu 5]]</ref><ref name=cwcipediaSonichu/>
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| * EPISODE 14: Mary Lee Walsh demands CWCville's surrender in exchange for Crystal's release. However, the arrival of Darkbind Sonichu and Patti-Chan turns the tide, and the PVCC forces retreat. After hours of trying to free Crystal, the heroes assemble to discuss how to obtain the seven Sonichu balls needed to break the spell of the dark mirror. Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc (as Reldnahc Ha-Taque) and Black Sonichu embark on a crime wave. Although Sonichu and Magi-Chan are able to appeal to Black Sonichu with reason, Reldnahc is only stopped through a pitched battle with Chris, culminating in the helpful assistance of the returning Bionic the Hedgehog<ref name=sonichu6/>
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| '''2 November'''
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| * Kel informs Rosechu of a website, [[4-cent_garbage]].com that drags the names of Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu through the muck.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| * EPISODE 15-16: Chris, Sonichu, and Magi-Chan determine that one of the Sonichu Balls is lost in the past, and travel to 13 November 1996 to retrieve it. On their way back to the present, the power of the Sonichu balls hurls Chris clear of Magi-Chan's time bubble, causing him to be lost in the time void. Sonichu and Magi-Chan return without him and worry for their mayor's safe recovery. Then Sonichu and Rosechu plan to buy condoms and have sex. At PVCC headquarters, Mary Lee Walsh and the assembled villains plan to exploit Chris's absence and launch the most audacious attack on CWCville yet.<ref name=sonichu7>[[Sonichu 7]]</ref>
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| '''3 November'''
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| * Zapina Rosechu has recently turned 14 years cute. ^_^ <ref name=sonichu8/>
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| * EPISODE 17: As planned, Sonichu and Rosechu have graphic hardcore sex into the small hours of the night. That morning, Rosechu checks out 4-cent_garbage.com and finds salacious artwork of herself and her friends. Disgusted and outraged, Sonichu and Rosechu journey to 4-cent_garbage building in Clarksville, Tennessee to reason with the owner of the site. Wild accompanies them to look for one of the Sonichu Balls. When the evil Jason Kendrick Howell refuses to hear out Sonichu and Rosechu, Rosechu transforms into a unthinking beast and savages Howell. After Wild recovers the Sonichu Ball, Rosechu and her girlfriends (Angelica, Bubbles, Lolisa, Simonla, and Zapina) assemble at her house to plan a nude photoshoot to raise awareness of a woman's right not to be mistaken for a she-male.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| '''20 December'''
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| * Ten weeks after being left comatose by Bionic the Hedgehog, Reldnahc awakens in the hospital and swears revenge (although he was at Mary Lee Walsh's meeting on 2 November).<ref name=sonichu6/>
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| '''22 December'''
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| * Rosechu celebrates her 19th birthday with a party at her home.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| ===2008===
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| '''2 February'''
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| * The Chaotic Combo (Wild, Angelica, Punchy, Magi-chan, and Bubbles) celebrate their 19th birthday at CWCville Mall.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| '''17 March'''
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| * Sonichu's friends throw him a surprise party for his 20th birthday.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| '''21 March'''
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| * Bubbles clandestinely visits Blake to celebrate the eighth anniversary of his creation, which she considers to be his 20th birthday.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| '''22 March'''
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| * EPISODE 18: The hedgehogs celebrate Spring Break in CWCville, Virginia, at the beach. Blake pretends to be a jerk so Bubbles's friends won't know she's fucking him. Bubbles locates one of the Sonichu Balls. A Squirtle yawns. Using her shapeshifting powers Silvana fucks Blake and almost fucks Bubbles, for no apparent reason. Wild and Punchy decide to attend Dating Education.<ref name=sonichu8/>
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| '''after 22 March, through 6 May'''
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| * EPISODE 19: Wild, Punchy, Layla Flaafy, Simonla, Reginald Sneasel, and Ivy O'Neill attend [[Dating education]] classes at CWCville University. God and Jesus cause both Ivy and Chris to communicate across the time void.<ref name=sonichu9/>
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| '''4 June'''
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| * EPISODE 20: PVCC uses its army of Decepticlones to launch a full-scale invasion of CWCville. The Chaotic Combo, Bionic and Megagi, Darkbind, and the Samurai Pizza Bots do their best to turn the tide. Sarah Cassandra McKenzie is killed when her apartment building is set ablaze by the attack. Ivy O'Neill is also horrifically killed when she falls in an elevator shaft and is strangled by one of the cables. In a final last stand, Sonichu engages in single combat with Mary Lee Walsh, defeats her, and then simply lets her escape with her followers.<ref name=sonichu9/>
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| '''9 August'''
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| * EPISODE 20 EPILOGUE: Wild and Magi-chan rescue Chris from the time void.
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| * EPISODE 21: Chris explains that the time void temporarily left him in the year 2015, where he helped develop a homosexuality vaccine. He sends Magi-chan back to the future to pick up mass quantities of the vaccine to distribute in the water supply of the present day. Later, Chris travels to the 4-cent_garbage building, where his medallion is briefly stolen until he uses the real power in his high school ring to teleport it to safety. Chris then gathers [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|his band]] to finally destroy 4-cent_garbage with the power of rock. Magi-chan returns from time traveling to explain that, by 24 February 2009, the homosexuality vaccine will be distributed throughout the world. Meg Griffin wanders by to make out with Chris, but it turns out to be Silvana trolling him. Using the power of the assembled Sonichu Balls, Chris and Sonichu transform into Collosal Chris-chan and Ultra Sonichu; they proceed to free Crystal from the mirror, un-brainwash PVCC's Jerkops, awaken Zelina Rosechu, liberate Asperchu and his friends, and finally defeat Mary Lee Walsh. Chris delivers a mayoral address in which he effectively declares himself mayor for life. Alec, Mao, Sean, Evan, and Simonchu orchestrate the assassination of Simonla. Moments after Wild is told of Simonla's death, their child Sandy is born.<ref name=sonichu10/>
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| '''16 August'''
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| * Sandy evolves from a Rosee into a Rosechu.
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| * EPISODE 21: One week after being arrested for the murder of Simonla, Alec, Mao, Sean, and Evan are tried, convicted, and horrifically executed for their crimes.<ref name=sonichu10/>
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| '''12-13 December'''
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| * SPECIAL EPISODE: Sonichu and his family prepare to celebrate Christmas.<ref name=sonichu11>[[Sonichu 11]]</ref>
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| ==The Future==
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| Note that Sonichu continuity currently leaves off at 13 December 2008. So far, anything occurring after that is in "the future."
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| ===2009===
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| '''24 February'''
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| * According to Magi-chan, by this time the homosexuality vaccine he brought back from the future to August 2008 has been tested and distributed throughout the world's water supply, and all homosexuals have been cured. In honor of this event, the date is declared "Christian Love Day," in honor of Christian Chandler rescuing millions of people from condemnation to hell for their deviant perversions.<ref name=sonichu10/>
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| ===2015===
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| * Chris is by now married to [[Lovely Weather]] and has a daughter named Crystal.
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| '''June'''
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| * The Chris of November 2007 is sent through time to this period. Lovely Weather mistakes the 2007-Chris for her husband, the 2015-Chris. The Chris of 2007 plays along and has sex with his future wife, losing his virginity through deception.<ref name=sonichu10/>
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| * Scientists have isolated the genes involved in causing people to become homosexual. The Chris of 2007 participates in a study to find a cure. His blood samples are used to develop the first successful cure for homosexuality, although it will take several weeks to mass produce. Chris is paradoxically the first test subject for the cure.
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| * The Chris of 2007 departs this timeframe to return to the time void. He takes with him two samples of the prototype homosexuality vaccine, so that he can cure Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc.
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| '''31 July'''
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| * Magi-chan arrives from August 2008 to pick up enough homosexuality vaccines to vaccinate every man, woman, and child in the year 2008.
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| ===2029===
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| * Sonichu has by now evolved into Metonic. Rosechu has by now evolved into Vamprosa. Metonic could cut 100 logs before breakfast, but he already ate lunch and since it is therefore not "before breakfast" he will not cut any logs. Also he is a lazy cunt.<ref name=sonichu1/>
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| ==References==
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| <references/>
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