Difference between revisions of "Clyde Cash"

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{{Articleofthenow}}
Troll me Clyde! I'm your biggest fan!
 
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Gregg Mays
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 4 July 1976
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[PandaHalo]]
|-
| '''Children'''
| Penny Cash
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Internet troll<br>Leader of [[The Miscreants]]
|-
|}
 
{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}
 
'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Christian|Chris]]'s [[trolls]],  often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.
 
In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>
 
Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite him in the ass, such as his [[Chris%27s_resume|unwillingness to work]], [[Chris and money|spending habits]], his [[Women's rights|poor treatment of women]] and even [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|predicted]] Chris' innate desire to [[Tomgirl Saga|dress like a woman.]]
 
==Origins==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]
 
For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually within the first three pages).
 
This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.
 
On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}
 
==The torment begins==
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]
 
Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal pal|gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>
 
Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[I am STRAIGHT|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[trolls|troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.
 
It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].
 
[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>
 
After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>
 
When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>
 
Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>
 
And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.
 
On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected foul play.
{{clear}}
 
==In the comic==
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]
 
In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."
 
He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.
{{clear}}
 
== Currently ==
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]
 
After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.
 
In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and health|bulging muscles]].
 
Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].
 
However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In_which_Chris_assumes_Clyde_Cash_would_punch_him|Mailbag 5]]</ref>
 
Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[pocket knife|knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].
 
In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
{{clear}}
 
==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| stardate      = 7 [[June 2009]]
| maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| subject        = | type          = | info          = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Particle-chan
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}
| stardate      = 1 [[July 2009]]
| maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]
| subject        = | type          = | info          = }}
}}
 
==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]
 
== Sources ==
<references />
 
==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]
 
{{Clyde Saga}}
 
{{Trolls}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]

Revision as of 00:40, 30 July 2014

Troll me Clyde! I'm your biggest fan!

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