Difference between revisions of "Clyde Cash"

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[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of the epic struggle.]]
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[[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|right|The real Clyde Cash, according to Chris.]]
 
{{quote|'''"Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, Sweet Prince.''' '''And may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."'''|Horatio}}
 
{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash}}
{{quote|Then the dragon stood on the sand of the seashore. I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns, seven heads, and ten royal crowns on its horns. On its heads were blasphemous names.|The Bible on Clyde Cash}}
 
'''Clyde Cash''' ([[Wikipedia:Born on the Fourth of July|04 July]] [[Wikipedia:1976|1976]] - 22 [[May 2009]]) was the older brother of [[Ryan Cash]] who decided to take vengeance against Chris after his brother killed himself. He was the former leader of [[The Miscreants]].  
 
On 23 May 2009, Clyde was found lying in a pool of blood, dead from (possibly) committing suicide with a shotgun (though foul play has not yet been ruled out, due to Chris's recent death threats). He is survived by his cousin, [[Vivian Gee]].
 
Some folks say they see Clyde's and Ryan's spirit haunting the world together. The Miscreants are totally not keeping up appearances if you see Clyde anywhere...
 
== Origins ==
 
His first act was to rape [[Panda]] but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]].
 
Clyde stalked Julie and began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a 13 year old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.
 
== Clyde and Chris' website ==
 
He posed as Gregg Mays (a web designer working for Nintendo) to gain access to Sonichu.net.
 
As ransom, he told Chris to make a video proclaiming he was gay only to be refuted. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site.
 
Striking again, Clyde worked with a troll and got rid of the domain.
 
Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of [[Panda]], he managed to gain access again.
 
Chris, still being resilient, bought SonichuandRosechu.com. With the help of [[Julie]], Clyde managed to gain access yet again.
 
== As Miyamoto ==
 
:''Main article: [[Shigeru Miyamoto]]''
 
== Prostitutes ==
 
Clyde, wanting to help Chris with losing his virginity, had Miscreants agent Brian Bash call for prostitutes to be sent to Chris's house.
 
Clyde took the fall for it in this phone call, right after [[Emily#Post-Date Conversation Transcript|Emily's post-date conversation]].
 
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' [''fake-sounding accent''] This call is being recorded. [''phone ringing'']</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Uh, hello?</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris. It’s me. Clyde. You seemed a little hasty at the end, there. I just want to talk to you.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Uh, who is this?</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' It's Clyde.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh. [''unintelligible'']</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' You want to say ‘hi’ to Emily?  She’s still here. Anyway, I just wondered, like, uh…  I was trying to help you with your virgin problem, and I sent over some ''fine'' ladies over to your house. How--how’d that work out for you?</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh, so you were the one who sent them over, huh?  Well, for your information, uh, my family, uh, was very uncomfortable with them being--being sent over, and, uh, they re—and they reported them to the police, and they got turned in, and, uh… Yeah, we did not appreciate that.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Uh, Chris, you claim to be a virgin with rage all the time. I’m trying to help you, man.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, sending over prostitutes is not exactly the way of helping somebody find true love.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Sex is not true love, Chris.</font> [''Chris talking in the background, indistinct'']
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, you still there, Clyde?</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' [''[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] prompting him, indistinct''] Yeah, keep your nose out of our business, Clyde.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Look, I worry for your family and everybody, okay?  I’m trying to look out for the best of you, Chris. There are much more evil men in this world.</font>
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I don't know who you think you are.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Hello?</font>
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I said I don't know who you think you are.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.</font>
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' But I’m telling you to both—uh—uh—t-to cease bothering us, okay?</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.</font>
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' [''overlapping''] Otherwise, yer butt’s gonna be in trouble. Yer butt’s gonna be in trouble.</font>
<br><font color="#213D30">'''Brian Bash:''' Is your refrigerator running?</font>
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Back off!</font>
<br><font color="#213D30">'''Brian Bash:''' Uoahh!</font>
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Don't call us anymore. Goodbye!</font>
<br><font color="#213D30">'''Brian Bash:''' No, [''unintelligible''] Use the Poke flute, quick!</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Okay!</font>
 
==In the comic==
[[Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|thumb|right|Clyde, left, with [[Ivy]].]]
 
In the comic Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]], apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris because the comic he has only appeared on Chris's Music video it is unknown how Clyde has been portrayed apart from living in his mansion and having a slander ray.
 
 
 
== Tribute ==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}</center>
 
== Selected videos ==
* 12 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009]] Boobies, vaginas...gorgeous.
* 15 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]] I DENOUNCE
* 17 January: [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san]] Ohio Miyamoto-san.
* 19 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009]] A dead dog is a dead brother.
* 21 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009]] I hate the homos.
* 26 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009]] It was a good trip to [[Red Mond]].
* 31 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009]] Come to me, Miyamoto.
* 10 February: [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]] I knew it!
* 27 March: [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009]] BACK THE FUCK OFF.
* 30 March: [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!]] You'll be DEAD.
* 30 March: [[YouTube Finale]] Even in a police station.
* 23 April: [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 23rd, 2009]] Come out of your Trollsta's Paradise.
 
==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:RIPClyde.jpg|Clyde's Final Scene.
Image:Socash.jpg
</gallery>
 
==Links==
*<strike>[http://www.youtube.com/user/clydethecash Clyde's YouTube account]</strike>
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date conversations] (part with Clyde begins at about 4:35)
 
{{Trolls}}
 
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Revision as of 13:35, 22 September 2009

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