Difference between revisions of "Daniel Weston"

From CWCki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
(Undo revision 211319 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk))
(Undo revision 211342 by ChrisMommy (talk))
Line 1: Line 1:
[[File:skeetanimehero.jpeg]]


{{quote|As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits *[[Stress sigh|sighs]]* we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--''Mayflower'' voyage.|[[Captain's Log]], [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|Stardate November 7th, 2007]]}}


[[Image:DanielWeston.JPG|thumb|right|Portrait of Daniel Weston, c. 1623.          Note the [[Creepy stare|blank stare]]... Doesn't it remind you of a [[Chris|certain somone]]?]]


'''Daniel Weston''' is one of the people who Chris claims to be one of his illustrious ancestors, through whom he is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]],<ref name="publicannouncement" /> [[List of Chris's lies|whose only daughter died childless]]. According to Chris, Daniel Weston's ancestor was [[Wikipedia:Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland]], who was in turn related to Anne Boleyn.<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Chris's Heritage]]</ref>
Skeet is the god of eternity at the McSpanky's fast food restaurant. Skeet calls everyone, "dude," and claims to be smart, but others see him as dim-witted. However, McSpanky's came to life and tried to destroy every other food joint and Skeet did not run away. When the restaurant was shot at the sun, the Space Bandits found the place and turned it into a spaceship. Believing that Skeet was the one responsible for this awesome technology, they vowed to find him and exploit his great wisdom, which they never did, for some reason.


In 2007, Chris claimed that Daniel Weston was aboard the ''[[Wikipedia:Mayflower|Mayflower]]'', the ship that carried the [[Wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Pilgrim Fathers]] to [[United States of America|America]] in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1620]];<ref name="publicannouncement">[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> however, according to all known passenger lists of the ''Mayflower'', there was never a man named Weston aboard.<ref>[http://genforum.genealogy.com/weston/messages/54.html Genealogy Forum]</ref>
Skeet, initially called upon as Skeetui Yoshimato, was raised in an exceedingly poor rice village in southern Koyushu. His grandfather was a war trained assassin who was tasked to eliminate U.S operatives. Although Skeetu's grandfather was Japanese, he was fluent in American English. This is why "Skeet" sounds like a typical American teenage boy. After many years of vigorous katana training on Mt. Fuji, Skeet traveled to the United States of America in hopes of beginniing a new life, honoring his ancestors in the process. Skeetui wanted to experience the American Dream, and thought working in fast food would be a good place to start. So, after moving to Retroville, Skeetui earned a job position as the cashier at McSpanky's. Soon, through hard work and dedication, he became employee of the month. This was an achievement unparalleled by any employee of McSpanky's. When Jimbo and two of his friends walked in and talked about getting a job at the restaurant, Skeetui made a seemingly irrational move by hiring the boys. However, Skeetui was a man who wanted to give these younger children an opportunity to straighten themselves out. Initially, two of his new employees worked well considering their age. However, Jimbo gave Skeetui trouble in a now-notorious incident in which Jimbo claimed to be smarter than the cash register, therefore stating he didn't need to use it. But, the cash register is used for tracking purposes, validating Skeetui's discontent with Jimbo. Later that night, Jimbo would sneak into McSpanky's and would commit vandalism by changing the interior to appear futuristic. As if this weren't the worst case, Jimbo also attached rockets to the restaurant, launching it into the air. As the restaurant was taking off, Skeetui was bravely saving the lives of men, women, and children alike by line backing them off the premise. However, time was very limited, causing the demise of our hero who, soon after, ascended into godhood.


Some fans suspect that Chris actually meant to say [[wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Thomas Weston]], an English merchant who funded The Mayflower, although this makes no more sense than the prior account.
  === Trivia ===


Chris later revised his theory, saying that Daniel Weston was actually not on the ''Mayflower''. although "he made his voyage later on".<ref>[[Mailbag 27#A family history of failure]]</ref> This was essentially the story he related to [[Catherine]] in 2014, although he could provide no clear details. This highly nebulous revision is no more persuasive than the original version, and neither version of the story accounts for Chris being descended from Anne Boleyn, who had no descendants whatsoever.
Skeetui was originally more powerful in the manga. However, he was nerfed to dish out less damage per second in the anime, as for Jimbo fans would complain.  
 
Some look up to Skeetui as the Profit, and is thought to be the messiah that will return one day.
These flatly impossible notions were probably spoonfed to Chris by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] to make him feel special. Indeed, he credits her with doing the historical research. In reality, Chris's earliest known maternal ancestor was a [[Ruckersville, VA|hick]] named William Wynn, who had a grandson named Robert (Barb's grandfather) claimed to be a lecherous [[Alcohol|alcoholic]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>
Skeetui roughly translates to "sperm whale", according to fan translations.
 
It can be observed that Skeetui's main catchphrase is "dude".
{{clear}}
 
==References==
<references/>
 
==See also==
*[[Anne Boleyn]]
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]]
*[[Barbara Chandler]]
 
{{People}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Weston, Daniel}}
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Revision as of 19:26, 13 September 2017

File:Skeetanimehero.jpeg


Skeet is the god of eternity at the McSpanky's fast food restaurant. Skeet calls everyone, "dude," and claims to be smart, but others see him as dim-witted. However, McSpanky's came to life and tried to destroy every other food joint and Skeet did not run away. When the restaurant was shot at the sun, the Space Bandits found the place and turned it into a spaceship. Believing that Skeet was the one responsible for this awesome technology, they vowed to find him and exploit his great wisdom, which they never did, for some reason.

Skeet, initially called upon as Skeetui Yoshimato, was raised in an exceedingly poor rice village in southern Koyushu. His grandfather was a war trained assassin who was tasked to eliminate U.S operatives. Although Skeetu's grandfather was Japanese, he was fluent in American English. This is why "Skeet" sounds like a typical American teenage boy. After many years of vigorous katana training on Mt. Fuji, Skeet traveled to the United States of America in hopes of beginniing a new life, honoring his ancestors in the process. Skeetui wanted to experience the American Dream, and thought working in fast food would be a good place to start. So, after moving to Retroville, Skeetui earned a job position as the cashier at McSpanky's. Soon, through hard work and dedication, he became employee of the month. This was an achievement unparalleled by any employee of McSpanky's. When Jimbo and two of his friends walked in and talked about getting a job at the restaurant, Skeetui made a seemingly irrational move by hiring the boys. However, Skeetui was a man who wanted to give these younger children an opportunity to straighten themselves out. Initially, two of his new employees worked well considering their age. However, Jimbo gave Skeetui trouble in a now-notorious incident in which Jimbo claimed to be smarter than the cash register, therefore stating he didn't need to use it. But, the cash register is used for tracking purposes, validating Skeetui's discontent with Jimbo. Later that night, Jimbo would sneak into McSpanky's and would commit vandalism by changing the interior to appear futuristic. As if this weren't the worst case, Jimbo also attached rockets to the restaurant, launching it into the air. As the restaurant was taking off, Skeetui was bravely saving the lives of men, women, and children alike by line backing them off the premise. However, time was very limited, causing the demise of our hero who, soon after, ascended into godhood.

 === Trivia ===

Skeetui was originally more powerful in the manga. However, he was nerfed to dish out less damage per second in the anime, as for Jimbo fans would complain. Some look up to Skeetui as the Profit, and is thought to be the messiah that will return one day. Skeetui roughly translates to "sperm whale", according to fan translations. It can be observed that Skeetui's main catchphrase is "dude".