Difference between revisions of "Ruckersville, VA"

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'''Ruckersville, Virginia''' is the home of the creature known as [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and the center of all things [[Sonichu]] ([[Twin Falling Towers|Ground Zero]], if you will). Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], only to return several years later.


{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
! CWC ON LOCATION
|-
| Photo:
| [[Image:Ruckersville Aerial Map.jpg|thumb]]
|-
| Location:
| Ruckersville, VA
|-
| Coordinates:
| 38°13′59″N 78°22′09″W
|-
| Classification:
| Unincorporated Township
|-
| Date established:
| 1732
|-
| Population:
| 9,935
|-
| Zip/post code:
| 22968
|-
| Area code:
| 434
|-
| Website:
| Unavailable
|-
| Also known as:
| Fuckersville, Ground Zero
|-
| Produces:
| Retarded Manchildren, Rednecks
|-
| Current relevance:
| Chris's Hometown
|}
==The Brochure==
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small, unincorporated township on the outskirts of [[Charlottesville, VA]]. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new Wal-Mart and great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, the town has changed very little. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to [[Christian Weston Chandler|raise a family]] or [[Bob Chandler|quietly retire]].
==The Truth==
[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|/this article]]
It's a redneck shithole full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. A place where people burn their trash and decorate their yards with junked cars, where the human disasters we know as the "[[Chandlers]]" can go ignored and unnoticed (that is if you don't know who they are). Ruckersville has very little in the way of [[14 Branchland Court|recognizable landmarks]], history, and the only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Phillip Morris (but who gives a shit about NASCAR?). While most normal young people would resent being stuck in a redneck wonderland like Ruckersville, the lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it's just one more excuse to never leave his room, let alone get a job.
==Geography==
The geography of Ruckersville is rather plain, composed mainly of fields, light forest, and small ugly housing developments extending from the larger town of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is fucking boring. Ruckersville really is a place for people who prefer to do absolutely nothing with their lives at all — like you know damn well who.
==Crime==
Crime rates in Ruckersville are unexpectedly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on [[Chris and sex|record]]. This is surprising when you consider that the only legal forms of entertainment are shopping at Wal-Mart and (according to [http://virginia.hometownlocator.com/va/greene/ruckersville.cfm this website]) [[Mass Debating|bird watching]]. That said, nearby Charlottesville is the regional heart of commerce and entertainment. If Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to [[Chris and the Law|commit his various misdemeanors]], likely so are most others.
==Culture==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|lolculture]]
==Ground Zero==
It's interesting to note that a ''Google Street View'' of the housing development that contains Chris's home is unavailable. Some theories exist to explain this, the leading being that the bizarre cocktail of smells produced by bathing in [[Chris and health|Axe body spray and intense body odor]] may have simply driven the Google camera car away from that street after the drivers deemed it "too risky." An alternative theory is that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access, that nobody gave a fuck about driving down it.
==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ruckersville_Aerial_Map.jpg|Aerial shot of the redneck shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red mark.
Image:Goin_to_Ruckersville.jpg|Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. WOW!
Image:Ruckersville_Church.jpg|No redneck town is complete without churches and replaceable letter signs.
Image:Story_of_Ruckersville.jpg|Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a retarded manchild... and that it would blow goats.
</gallery>
</center>
==See also==
*[[14 Branchland Court]]
*[[Charlottesville, VA]]
*[[Chris's room]]
==External links==
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruckersville,_Virginia Wikipedia article]
{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Revision as of 19:36, 1 August 2010

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