Ruckersville, VA

Ruckersville
Information
Country	United States
State	Virginia
County	Greene
Coordinates	38°13′59″N 78°22′09″W
Classification	Census-designated place
Date established	1732
Population	1,484 (2020)
Zip/post code	22968
Area code	434
Website
	Unavailable
Notable for
	Former home of Christian Weston Chandler

“	Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a Wal-Mart does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer.	”
Ruckersville's most famous citizen.^[1]

Ruckersville is a census-designated place in Greene County, Virginia, and part of the Charlottesville metropolitan area. It also happened to be the home of Chris and the capital of all things Sonichu-related until August 2021, when Chris's arrest for incest saw him relocated to a jail in Orange, VA for nearly two years, and later to a home in Big Island, VA.

Ruckersville markets itself to tourists as a "scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views", a "safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to raise a family or quietly retire" and "a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new Wal-Mart and great potential for expansion". In reality, Ruckersville is a dull, boring, suburb of a suburb of a suburb of Washington D.C., full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. A sleepy location without any real tourism to liven itself up; somewhere with no real business or career opportunities, a place where people hoard their trash and decorate their yards with broken lawnmowers and junked cars, and where even a family as infamous as the Chandlers can exist relatively unnoticed. Even so, over 86% of the town's population from before Chris moved back has since abandoned it for Charlottesville proper to the south.^[3] Given its dwindling population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of recognizable landmarks or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Philip Morris (no relation to Philip Morris USA/International). The lack of prospects or opportunities had suited Chris perfectly, as it gave him one more excuse never to leave his room, let alone get a job.

According to the Internet, there is literally nothing noteworthy in Ruckersville.

Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of Nathanael Greene Elementary School, only to return in 2000. Chris claimed to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various videos, but only because he'd rather have been in a near-identical suburb where he thought he could squander the remainder of his life in a late 90s time-capsule of his high school days.

Geography

The geography of Ruckersville is incredibly plain. Its surrounding landscape, composed mainly of fields, thin forest, and meandering housing developments, extends from the larger settlement of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is boring, although the Blue Ridge Mountains are a short drive away.

The town is also far from any real civilization: it lies 16 miles (26 km) from Charlottesville, 77 miles (123 km) from Richmond, and approximately 100 miles (160 km) from Washington, D.C. Along with the rest of Greene County, it is located within the Charlottesville, Virginia Metropolitan Statistical Area. It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a Google Street View of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply did not care.

Housing prices in Ruckersville are generally decent,^[4] but this is most likely because it is the epitome of a commuter or dormitory town, being almost entirely meant for people who work in Charlottesville to come home and promptly crash into slumber, with very little else to offer. Crime rates in Ruckersville are also happily, if unsurprisingly, low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to commit his various misdemeanors, and likely so are any other criminals living here.

Culture

To be fair, it's an older city than Los Angeles.

Gallery

Aerial shot of Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red icon.
House prices in the vicinity of 14BC reported on Zillow, c.2019. Note that Chris's house doesn't even have an estimated valuation.
A closeup view of where the magic happens.
Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. Wow!
And no backwater suburb is complete without replaceable block-letter church signs! (No relation to Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church).
Little did John Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a moronic man-child.
Chris posing at the Ruckersville sign, April 2019.