The CWCki needs help! Please consider clicking the tugboat to make a donation

Bob Chandler

From CWCki
Jump to: navigation, search
 
 
It was an interesting life I had.
 

 

—Bob, at peace.

Chandler family
Chrischansdad.jpg
Bob Chandler
Birth name Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
Nicknames The Internet Lumberjack
Mr. C
Bobby
Born 4 September 1927
Died 6 September 2011 (aged 84)
Gender Male
Nationality American
Race White (1/4th Cherokee[1])
Marriage Patricia Faye Harley (1956-1980)

Barbara Weston (1980-2011)

Children Dr. David Alan Chandler
Carol Suzanne Chandler

Christian Weston Chandler

Grandchildren Savannah Chandler
Parents Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (father)
Jean Holloman (mother)
Education Auburn University (engineering)
Occupation(s) Military communications, engineer

Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.[2] (4 September 1927- 6 September 2011 [3]) was the father of Christian Weston Chandler, Carol Chandler and David Alan Chandler, and husband of Barbara Weston Chandler. Bob became a firm favorite with trolls due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris mass debating;[4] his nickname, "The Internet Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still widely viewed as a better parent than his wife Barbara. This is due to Bob being somewhat concerned with Chris's behavior, and the fact that he occasionally tried to encourage a modicum of responsibility in his life, bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising the selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb he at least made the effort.

Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. Whether in person or over the phone Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone.

Bob died of complications from heart failure on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.[5]

Biography

Bob was born in Fort Worth, Texas[6] and was, according to his freshman Auburn University yearbook, raised in Sylacauga, Alabama.[1] He was the first child of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906[7]-27 December 1977[8]), an Insurance Agent from Alabama who was allegedly half Cherokee, and Jean Holloman (1906[9]-10 May 1945[10]), a Housewife from Texas.[11] Bob mentioned having a cousin and several Cherokee relatives in Oklahoma.[12][13] His Cherokee heritage was disputed by a distant relative.[14]

Robert had Medieval English ancestry

Bob has said that he was "interested in the world" around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign stamps as a child in the 1930s. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.[15] It is not clear how this collection fared in the fire, but it was apparently not a total loss, as Chris offered to sell some of the albums to Catherine's cousin Al in late 2014.

Service and education

A 1942 yearbook from Sylacauga High School in Bob's hometown of Sylacauga, Alabama (which can be seen on Classmates.com) lists a "Bobby Chandler" as a member of the freshman class and as a member of the school's glee club, suggesting that he graduated from this school in the spring of 1945 before matriculating at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama as an Aeronautical Engineering major during the fall of this year.

Bob was drafted out of College as a special draftee who apparently had knowledge that the Army desired (Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook [1]) in 1946 after World War II and placed in the Signal Corps. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. He was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal due to the dates of his service and his service number was 44107856 [2]. When he got out in 1948 he studied Pre-Engineering for two years at Jacksonville State Teachers College in Jacksonville, Alabama. He then returned to Auburn University where he studied Electrical Engineering and graduated in 1952 (page 269 of the 1952 yearbook) [3] G.I. Bill.[1]

Bob served in Korea, and, thankfully for Chris, who believes that he was a sperm carried in one of his father's testicles during that time, he left before the Korean War broke out.

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college (Jacksonville) after leaving the military. He was also in a band and learned a lot about music. He then moved onto Auburn University, a big college, to earn a type of engineering degree, although it's never specified (mechanical, electrical etc.).[1] As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.[16] While he was at Auburn, he was a member of Phi Mu Alpha, a social frat dedicated to men who are interested in music.

Career

Bob worked for Western Electric as an engineer for 40 years. There he designed a variety of electrical subsystems. He eventually went to work for General Electric in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.[1] He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.[15]

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. Barbara claimed, in an e-mail to Miyamoto, that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the NES "might not have arrived so soon", [17] Ignoring the fact that the NES was designed and released in Japan in 1983 without the influence of the American electronics.

Examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products[1] and a vehicle logging system. Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed controls that were used in plastic water container molding machines.[1][17]

When exactly Bob did retire is not known. During the 1980s the standard age of retirement for men in America was 65, with many choosing to retire even sooner.[18] Bob was born in 1927, meaning that he was most likely retired by the late 80s or early 90s. The Richmond Times-Dispatch article about Chris's name change clearly says that Bob was retired at the time the article was publised (29 December 1993).[19]

Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.[1]

World consciousness

Bob Chandler learning how to cut that Internet down

Politically, Bob was identified as a Republican, and did not vote for Barack Obama in the 2008 presidential election.[6] With that being said, in the time leading to the Virginia gubernatorial election of 2009, Bob had misgivings about Bob McDonnell, the Republican candidate and eventual winner of the election. Bob and Chris considered the option of writing in Snoopy rather than voting for any of the candidates listed on the ballot.[20]

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 February 2009, Bob doubted the existence of Molvanîa, Julie's country of origin.[21] However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.[15] However, he rather damningly failed to question why Julie spoke perfect English with an American accent.

Relationships

Previous family

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia Harley on 25 September 1956. They had two children, David Alan Chandler and Carol Suzanne Chandler.

Bob and Patricia separated on 28 June 1976 before divorcing on 28 January 1980.[5][22] Bob's relationships with David and Carol were strained in his later years.[23] Chris did not know he had a niece, via David, named Savannah until she was 8 years old[24], and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more strained. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and last they heard she was working for the government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.[25]

Barbara

With Barb

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.[26] According to Chris, Barbara did the pursuing: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.[23]

They got married in 1980,[26] only months after Bob and Patricia had divorced.[27]

According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.[28]

Cole

Bob married Barbara when her son Cole was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate[23] "when that fuck Bob finally drops," [29] but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,[23] though there isn't any proof that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.[30]

Chris

 
 
Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.
 

 

—Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.

Dreaming studio of Mr. C and Little C. Where dreams do come true - 1989.

Bob tried to encourage Chris to better himself. When Chris was 7, Bob converted a shed in the backyard of 14 Branchland Court to a workshop where he and Chris could build things together, dubbing it the "dreaming studio." Chris could not recall what they had built together when asked about it in 2014[31] and said he and Barb were using the space for storage.

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography such as Europe and Australia, but he thought (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on television, and only can associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.[15]

Bob's racist joke that Barack Obama would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in Sonichu 8.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

 
 
well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time[sic], and rarely succeeded.
 

 

—Chris, IRC (31 December 2008)

However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. The antagonism to which Chris refers is likelier to be Bob attempting to constructively criticize Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.

The only known drawing of Bob by Chris, released in November 2015.

An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was obligated to take care of him, and seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris would still run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the Kacey and Liquid Call.

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a complex network of enemies spanning the entire world, due to the success that he has earned from his own Sonichu franchise.[32][33] In the Matthew Noble call, it appears that Bob seemed to be the origin of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of stress seem "petty" in comparison.

Bob and a younger Christian. Note Chris's "Family Bonding" shirt.

Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that (not to mention what accomplishments he was referring to), or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.[34]

He seemed never to get past the notion that Chris could and had achieved things, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with Vivian Gee and Jackie, Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiralling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's escapades in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.[35] Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris doesn't take the presence or others for granted.

In December 2012, Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon, in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris publicly honored his father's memory since the latter's passing in September 2011.

Bob lives on his son's memory. Chris noted the occasion of his father's passing by attaching angel wings to the Lego minifigure representing him,[36] and often visits Bob in his dreams.[37][38]

Later life and poor health

Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.[30] He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to total strangers on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.[15] With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.[30]

Bob had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple bypass operations took place in August, 1980. He wore an artificial pacemaker.[39] In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.[6] He attributed his long life to the Cherokee in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.[15] Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at Burger King daily.[40][41]

On 1 March 2010, Chris tweeted that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [sic] heart failure". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure. Bob had been the only thing keeping the Chandler household from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.

Apart from the dying heart

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose when Chris was inclined to complain about it online. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies,[42] but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a very serious situation.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a girlfriend he never had, made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character, and raged against abstinence. His silence on the subject of his father was probably because of genuine ignorance of the seriousness of his father's condition.

A poster on /cwc/ contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."[43] Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made a brief mention in a public video that his father was "alive and well." Chris was, at least, half right.

A breakdown of Bob's final months reads as follows.

On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer of some description.[44]

On 23 April 2011, in an e-mail to Jackie, Chris revealed that Bob had received surgery for colon cancer.[45]

On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies and, like Barb, vehemently disapproved of them.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now deeply entrenched in his tomgirlish ways, mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in, and was suffering from "feet-bloatings".

In early September, 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. It was discovered later that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was covered in bug bites and he posed a contamination risk.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died at age 84.[5] Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".[5]

Cause of Death

Despite the fairly clear-cut nature of the lumberjack's passing, Chris has since declared that the trolls were responsible for Bob's death. In an email leaked on 22 March 2014, Chris claims that the stress of his trolling led to Bob's heart attack. This keeps in the trend Chris has developed of blaming any and all misfortunes (even those faced by everyone, like burying a family member) on trolls.

 
 
AND the total stress KILLED my Father Prematurely; if not for those Trolls, he would still be alive, and would have likely lived beyond 2015.
 

 

—Chris.

Even for Chris this is appalling behavior; using the death of his own father as a vehicle to play the victim and attempt to stave off trolls. While it's not uncommon for those who have lost loved ones to blame their deaths on external causes (however impossible or insane, as in this case) Chris's actions are motivated purely out of selfishness and egotism - business as usual.

Obituary

Both Barb and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:

Original text

May you always watch over our sweet autist.
Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.
He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.
He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.
He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.
Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.
A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.
Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler. [5]

In memoriam

Bob's final resting place.

Bob is often seen as a gregarious, hard-working man (all things considered). Trying (albeit without success) to refine Chris into someone that could at least pass for a responsible adult, giving him mock job interviews and chaperoning him on dates, where he proved (unsurprisingly) more adept at charming the date than Chris.

However, we also have Bob to thank for some of his son's more backwards worldviews. He was also supposedly an abusive stepfather; he certainly managed to alienate his other children enough that his daughter didn't attend his funeral, or keep in touch while he was alive. Much like his son, little of what he said or believed had any connection to reality, and he helped Chris to construct bizarre conspiracy theories to justify trespassing and the like, among other things. He, like Barbara, enabled Chris's parasitic dependence on them, general immaturity and irresponsibility, and his myriad of other flaws. He never made any serious effort to improve his preening, arrogant son, even when he caught him masturbating in the kitchen.

Ultimately, few remember Bob as a positive influence on Chris, although he was of course a little more preferable to his wife.

Audio and video appearances

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's sweethearts than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).

Gallery

Fan videos

Bob
Stardate 10 September 2011
Made By TheSevenRiders
Subject Matter Metal Gear Solid
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


Tribute to Bob Chandler
Stardate 11 September 2011
Made By 8x13Wolf
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


RIP Bob Chandler
Stardate 29 September 2011
Made By furnacewoodsband
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

Sources

Pickles.jpg
Tired of "Good Fan Art"? Visit our constantly expanding Gallery of Evil Fan Art! There's even a whole section dedicated to Bob Chandler!
  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 Emily Date Conversation Transcript
  2. Email to Blanca
  3. http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155
  4. Bob Walks In
  5. 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3 5.4 http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)
  6. 6.0 6.1 6.2 Prank calls
  7. https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM
  8. https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6
  9. https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M
  10. https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8
  11. http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y47mWzzz1qblvg5o1_1280.jpg (Mirror: File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg)
  12. Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself
  13. Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler
  14. Chandler Family Tree#Ancestry.com content
  15. 15.0 15.1 15.2 15.3 15.4 15.5 BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7
  16. Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)
  17. 17.0 17.1 Miyamoto Saga#Barbara
  18. Growing Older in America: The Health and Retirement Study
  19. IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES
  20. Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything
  21. BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5
  22. File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png
  23. 23.0 23.1 23.2 23.3 6 March 2007 email, page 2
  24. CWC's Diary#January 2004
  25. File:Savannah_chandler3.png
  26. 26.0 26.1 Mumble 3.5
  27. File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg
  28. IRC (27 December 2008)
  29. Email from Cole to Chris
  30. 30.0 30.1 30.2 Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)
  31. IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court
  32. Church audio
  33. Matthew Noble call
  34. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded (dead link as of Jul 2014)
  35. Mumble Chat 1
  36. Seen at 4:24 in CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013.
  37. March 2012 Facebook Posts
  38. OkCupid Answers
  39. Mumble 3
  40. Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris
  41. Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)
  42. American Heart Association PDF "What Is Heart Failure?"
  43. File:Bobbetter.jpg
  44. http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k
  45. Jackie_E-mails_24

External Links

---- Christian Weston Chandler's People ----

At home: Bob Chandler | Barbara Chandler | Patti Chandler | The Chandler Cats | Clover and Snoopy

Family: Minor Family Members | Cole Smithey | Aunt Corrina | Daniel Weston | Anne Boleyn | Reginald Chandler | Crystal Weston Chandler

Enemies: Michael Snyder | Adam Stackhouse | Wes Iseli | Mary Lee Walsh | CADD Chef | Bagget | ScotPalazzo | Manajerks | B-Manajerk | Jerkhief | W-M-Manajerk | Kirby McDerbie | "Lady" Manajerk | Yellow-Shirted Foe | Omar Woodley | Lulu.com's executives | Pmurt

Jerks: Joseph Herring | Lucas | Joshua Martinez

Sweethearts: Blanca Weiss | PandaHalo | BlueSpike | Sarah Jackson | Emily | Ivy | Kacey | Jackie | Catherine

Gal-Pals: Laura Dorazio | Tiffany Gowen | Kellie Andes | Megan Schroeder | Anna McLerran | Sarah Nicole Hammer | The Wallflower | Kim Wilson

The Asperpedia Four: Alec Benson Leary | Evan | Sean August Watley | Mao

Trolls: Liquid Chris | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Jason Kendrick Howell | Kathleen | Man in the Pickle Suit | BILLY MAYS | Vivian Gee | Sarah May | Robert Simmons V | Jimmy Hill | Shigeru Miyamoto | Reggie Fils-Aimé | Takashi Tezuka | Jay Z | Surfshack Tito | Jeff/Francine | Arthur Spatchcock | Johan

Other: Abusive babysitter | Hanna | Ryan Cash | Vanessa Hudgens | Bruce Johnson | Virginia Jeanine Sanford | Rocky Shoemaker | Rob Bell | William Elliott Waterman | Mia Hamm | Lori Lopez | Caitlin | Chloe | Officer Nasty | Kimmi | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt | DStecks

The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate

I. Chris II. Bob Chandler III. Santa Clause IV. God V. Jesus

VI. The President of the U.S.: George W. BushBarack Obama

VII. All the World Leaders: Mahmoud AhmadinejadKim Jong-unManuel Noriega

VIII. ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present:
Cole SmitheyDr. David Alan ChandlerJonathan CareyUncle Raymond
Joseph HerringJoshua MartinezMimmsLucasRobert Simmons VWilliam Elliott Waterman

IX. Celebrities: Jack BlackRed SkeltonDick Van DykeBob NewhartTim AllenJerry SeinfeldBrad GarrettLarry the Cable GuyPeter Cullen

X. Robots: Optimus PrimeMegatron

XI. Electric Hedgehog Pokémon: SonichuWild SonichuPunchy SonichuMagi-ChanBlakeDJ JamstaBlazeBob SonichuMitch SonichuDarkbind SonichuMetonic

XII. Hedgehogs: Sonic the HedgehogBionic the Hedgehog

XIII. Pornstars: Bailey Jay

The List Of Males Chris Does Hate

JERKS