On 8 December 2011, a troll called Rocky Shoemaker and pretended to be a court-appointed psychiatrist named "Dr. Perron". In the process, "Perron" managed to get a variety of details about the Chandlers' living conditions from her. The troll's use of that name is a reference to Chris Perron, better known as "Chris the Hacker", who was a then-popular target of soundboard prank calls.
It is revealed that there is a severe bug infestation at Chris's home, which might explain why he was "sick". The call also reveals that when Bob was originally hospitalized he was also placed under quarantine for "bug bites". Doctor Perron advises Ms. Shoemaker to convince Barb and Chris to move out of the property while the court proceedings go on and that perhaps Ms. Shoemaker could find them a temporary home within the church outreach program whilst Doctor Perron arranges a fumigation of the property.
Video
Transcript
(phone ringing)
Shoemaker: Hello?
Doctor Perron: Good afternoon, uh, is this, uh, Ms. Shoemaker?
Shoemaker: I... I beg your pardon?
Doctor Perron: Uh, is this, uh, Ms. or Mrs., uh, Shoemaker?
Shoemaker: Yes.
Doctor Perron: Uh, thank you. Um, yes, uh, I, my name is, uh, Dr. Perron. I was appointed by the court to, uh, give an assessment of Chris' mental health. Have you been aware of all... any of this?
Shoemaker: Uh, no, I don't have any authorization to talk to anybody about this.
Doctor Perron: Oh, well, he suggested that we give you a call. You've been his pastoral counselor for some time.
Shoemaker: Yeah, but I would have to see something in writing, uh, simply because I have been getting a lot of unauthorized phone calls.
Doctor Perron: From the court, or from this office?
Shoemaker: From, from, from...people claiming to be part of all this.
Doctor Perron: Well, um... sorry... did you say, did you say that...
Shoemaker: So...
Doctor Perron: ...did you say that you have received a call from this number before? Because, I did ask my secretary to try and reach you if she could. But that may have been her.
Shoemaker: I, I, I don't, I, I, I...your number is listed as unknown, so I have no idea what your number is.
Doctor Perron: Oh, well, I'm calling from Virginia. Um, oh...[sighs]...well, uh, I suppose if there are security purposes...
Shoemaker: If you could...if you could fax an authorization, I'd be very happy to talk with you.
Doctor Perron: Certainly, do you have a fax number?
Shoemaker: Or if you could, or if you could, or if you could go through, uh, the lawyer, Robert Bell, uh, he would certainly authorize it.
Doctor Perron: Well, I've already spoken to Mr. Bell, and he's, uh, he gave me a list of numbers, of people that Christian recommended that we should get in touch with to, uh, come through some kind of assessment process, and uh, you're on top of the list.
Shoemaker: Okay...
Doctor Perron: Have you spoken with...
Shoemaker: That, that, that would be, that would be fine...I, I would just either have to have something in writing or I'd have to hear something from Mr. Bell himself. And that's just to protect Christian, um, because I've had police reports filed over the past two years around all of this, because of misuse of my phone.
Doctor Perron: Well, uh, yes, I was...I was made aware of everything that had been happening. Uh...
Shoemaker: Yeah.
Doctor Perron: What if this was previous to the, uh, to the current case?
Shoemaker: Yeah, yeah. I could understand that.
Doctor Perron: Yes.
Shoemaker: Uh...
Doctor Perron: This is what we were trying to do. We were attempting to get a kind of, uh, historical perspective on everything that had been going on. But, um, It's been very difficult, uh...
Shoemaker: Right. That makes perfect sense and I would be very happy to help with it. But, I, I do need to have some authorization.
Doctor Perron: Well, uh, I shall be meeting with Christian in uh, in, uh, Branchland Court uh, on the...hold on a second...either the tenth or the eleventh...hold on...
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.
Doctor Perron: Oh, yes, it would be the tenth. Uh, yeah, so we should be up there on the tenth. Uh, eleven o'clock in the morning? Uh, we just wanted to meet with Christian...
Shoemaker: Uh-huh.
Doctor Perron: ...um, I suppose, if you wanted to, uh, to have some kind of introduction, face to face, I assume Mr. Bell will be there as well, I suppose if you want to come along to that.
Shoemaker: That, that, that would be fine. This is on the tenth, that is...
Doctor Perron: On Saturday.
Shoemaker: What day of the week is...pardon?
Doctor Perron: That would be on Saturday.
Shoemaker: Uh, day after tomorrow.
Doctor Perron: Yes.
Shoemaker: At what time?
Doctor Perron: Uh, is it, uh, ten or...hold on a second...yes, it was eleven o'clock. In the morning.
Shoemaker: Eleven o'clock?
Doctor Perron: Yes.
Shoemaker: Uh-huh. I...
Doctor Perron: I assume...
Shoemaker: I...I could do that at eleven.
Doctor Perron: All right, I assume you know the way down there. [chuckles]
Shoemaker: Uh, this is...would be in Mr. Bell's office?
Doctor Perron: No, this would be in, uh... Christian's home, uh...
Shoemaker: Where?
Doctor Perron: ...Christian's home, on uh, 14 Branchland Court. He, uh, well I don't know, he, uh, requested that we, uh, liaise there and, uh, Mr. Bell seems to have gone along with it. It's, uh, a little unorthodox, but uh, we wouldn't mind seeing him inside his, uh...inside his home. To get a kind of sense of everything that had been going on...from him and his mother as well.
Shoemaker: Where...okay, uh...let me write down the, the address again.
Doctor Perron: It's, uh, 14 Branchland Court. It's, uh, Christian's home address.
Shoemaker: Oh! He is meeting you at his home?
Doctor Perron: Yes.
Shoemaker: Um...hm!
Doctor Perron: Like I said, it was a little unorthodox...
Shoemaker: That, that...it, it...it not only would be unorthodox but I think you'll have a very difficult time work...getting anything done in that home...
Doctor Perron: Well, how...
Shoemaker: ...simply because...um...w-uh, because, I, of things I know about the conditions of the home. Uh...
Doctor Perron: Well, this is...
Shoemaker: That is, is not... (man in background mumbling "not okay") it's not going to be a good place to meet.
Doctor Perron: Well, they...this is again, why...
Shoemaker: Um...
Doctor Perron: Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with even, uh, seeing the address itself, to get another kind of understanding of the perspective from, uh, Christian's angle. Um...
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.
Doctor Perron: At least, at least that was, the uh, the silver cloud of the lining that I was taking away from it. Um, like I said, it is rather unorthodox, but Christian requested it. And, uh, it may be, uh...prudent, I think...
Shoemaker: They...they, um, are having an infestation problem in that home.
Doctor Perron: Oh, really?
Shoemaker: And, yeah. And, and, the health department has already visited there, and...
Doctor Perron: Oh, my goodness.
Shoemaker: It...would probably not be a real wise place for you to go.
Doctor Perron: Are they still, are they still living there, or have they taken up alternate accommodation? Because, according to, uh, Mr. Bell and Christian, they were still living there...
Shoemaker: No. Yeah, they are still living there.
Doctor Perron: With an infestation, in Christian's condition?
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm!
Doctor Perron: Well, that shouldn't...that shouldn't be at all.
Shoemaker: Uh, no. No it shouldn't, and, uh, the social services and the health department have, have been a part of that.
Doctor Perron: Have you, have you spoken with social services yourself? Because we uh, we've yet to speak with them.
Shoemaker: I, I have not...uh, I have spoken with health department people.
Doctor Perron: Yes. I, I understood that you were sort of, um, uh, a personal assistant almost, and uh, as well as a counselor to Christian, you've accompanied him to several things before, so...
Shoemaker: Yes. Yes. Yes I have.
Doctor Perron: Mm.
Shoemaker: Absolutely, and I will be very happy to, to assist in, in whatever way I can.
Doctor Perron: I'm, I... I'm not happy to hear about this infestation problem, uh, especially with Christian the way he is. Is there, is there any chance you could, uh, sort out some kind of alternate accommodation? Do you, have that kind of services at your disposal?
Shoemaker: Um... certainly you could meet at the church.
Doctor Perron: No, I meant... for actual accommodation for Christian.
Shoemaker: Oh, uh... that... that, that has to be, has to be handled through...uh...he's, he's not requesting anything alter-alternate. And any decisions like that have to come through social services, and that has been a long history as well.
Doctor Perron: That's-that's...that's why I was recommending...perhaps, if you had a sort of, um, a sort of church outreach program where you could offer temporary accommodation just until the trial's finished with, maybe Christian would be willing to go along with that. 'Cause, I, um... I understand that he doesn't want to move from his residence, but I also understand the infestation's a very bad thing at the moment. Especially with everything that's going on, so... we might want to recommend something that...
Shoemaker: Uh, well, this has been, has been, has been a situation ongoing over... many months. And, um, uh, Christian, Christian seems to feel that he has stayed away from it. Uh, but that requires him to stay just in one room...
Doctor Perron: The infestation.
Shoemaker: Um... and, uh, heal-health services have, have talked with the family. Uh, so, it-it simply, uh, we have, we have always met with the family at the church or at the lawyer's, or with Christian somewhere wi-...in town. They have never wanted us to come to the house...
Doctor Perron: No, I can't understand...
Shoemaker: And... and, uh, I-I don't think Christian would be comfortable with me coming there.
Doctor Perron: Well, he-he did request, well I, I assume he requested that you would be there as well, but he did ask me to come down there to the residence. I don't really know what that's about now, or if Mr. Bell's going to be there or not.
Shoemaker: Yeah... uh, I, I would...
Doctor Perron: Personally, personally...
Shoemaker: I would be happy to talk with him...
Doctor Perron: Personally, I have no problem going down there myself...
Shoemaker: ... and, and see if I can... pardon?
Doctor Perron: I said, personally I have no problem going down there myself, I'm sure, I've seen far worse places... whatever kind of, infestations are going on. Um, but I was kind of hoping that we could have counted on your support to come along. If only, to sort of...
Shoemaker: Um...
Doctor Perron: ...to sort of handle the introductions in a personal way, with someone that Christian already knows.
Shoemaker: Mm...yeah. Uh...let me, let me talk with Christian and see if the same thing could be done at the church.
Doctor Perron: All right. I'll tell you what, I'll uh... I'll ask my secretary to give you a call back, and we'll try and go from there.
Shoemaker: Okay.
Doctor Perron: All right, should be about... in an hour or two.
Shoemaker: Okay...
Doctor Perron: I've got to, uh...
Shoemaker: Can I have your name again, please?
Doctor Perron: Uh, this is Dr. Perron. P-E-double R-O-N.
Shoemaker: ....Doctor...Perron?
Doctor Perron: P-Perron. P-E-double R-O-N.
Shoemaker: Uh-huh.
Doctor Perron: Yes.
Shoemaker: Okay, and...
Doctor Perron: I'm all set to give you a call back, and hopefully we can figure out what's going on before, uh, before Saturday.
Shoemaker: Yeah, yeah, uh....let me, let me call Christian and, and see...I-I just...I would have, working on a...on a family systems and on a pastoral counseling psychological basis...
Doctor Perron: Right.
Shoemaker: I-I would not think that that would be a good place to do the interview. Uh, they're going to be defensive. They're going to be trying to...
Doctor Perron: Christian...
Shoemaker: ...protect you from...
Doctor Perron: Yes...
Shoemaker: ...uh, the nurses that went out there found that a very difficult place to try to work with them.
Doctor Perron: Well, even so...
Shoemaker: Um...
Doctor Perron: It...it would make sense though, in order to just, to gain that kind of persepective and see things from Christian's angle a little more. I-I-I do understand what you're saying about trying to put it in a, uh, a neutral environment, but, uh...I'm not too sure now. I wasn't aware that it's as bad as you say it was.
Shoemaker: I have not been there, and I do not know...
Doctor Perron: Oh.
Shoemaker: But... um, except from what the nurses have said.
Doctor Perron: Uh, which nurses were these?
Shoemaker: Public health... nurses.
Doctor Perron: And how long ago was that? Was that... was that fairly recent?
Shoemaker: That, that was, uh... around the time of his father's death, his father's death. They were out there because of...
Doctor Perron: I have no idea...
Shoemaker: ...patient discharge procedures and such...
Doctor Perron: All that would have been about, um two or three months ago, I think. So yes, that is recent.
Shoemaker: And, and, he was... he was, while he was in the hospital, under quarantine because of it.
Doctor Perron: Christian was?
Shoemaker: No, Christian's father.
Doctor Perron: Oh, oh. So he, he's, he contracted something from the... from the infestation?
Shoemaker: He, he had...had, bug bites all over him.
Doctor Perron: Oh, gee. Good God. Well that's...all right, uh, Miss, uh Mis-is it Miss or Mrs. Shoemaker?
Shoemaker: M-M-Miss Shoemaker.
Doctor Perron: Miss Shoemaker.
Shoemaker: Miss Shoemaker.
Doctor Perron: Um, I, I...
Shoemaker: It's Reverend Shoemaker, actually.
Doctor Perron: I'm sorry?
Shoemaker: I-I said actually, I-I... officially, it's Reverend Shoemaker.
Doctor Perron: Oh, Reverend-I didn't realize. Okay, um...all right, I think the best way to proceed, if you could, um, if you could speak with your church outreach group, if you could find some kind of temporary accommodation for Christian and his mother... uh, just until the, uh, the court case is over...we can, perhaps, see if we can get the state to fund a cleanup or something in the property. Because that's quite horrendous. And I think we can do something about it. We should... so, if you could find some kind of temporary accommodation for them, uh...
Shoemaker: Um...
Doctor Perron: ...preferably within the church, because I can understand they wouldn't want to go with, uh, outside strangers... uh, I quite understand.
Shoemaker: I... really doubt that they would receive that offer at all. They have not, they have not received help from social services.
Doctor Perron: Well, you could understand why it would be in Christian's best interest if you could do that, because if he was to go to the court and if they were to present an assessment with, that he was living in such conditions along with his mother... then it would not fare well at all...
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.
Doctor Perron: ...and they would perhaps be completely evicted from the property. And that wouldn't be in their interests even in the least.
Shoemaker: Yeah. Um...
Doctor Perron: I'm not, I'm not asking you to do this, but I-I think it would be a, uh, wise thing to do.
Shoemaker: I-I-I can see, I can see your point and I'll certainly talk with Mr. Bell, about...
Doctor Perron: Yes.
Shoemaker: ...about whether he would rather see Christian in such a situation. Um...
Doctor Perron: It, it, i-i-it wouldn't be permanent, it would only have to be temporary, just until the trial is, uh, done with and we could perhaps fund a, cleanup, while they were in there, they wouldn't have to end up back for that...
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.
Doctor Perron: So, perhaps we could do that.
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.
Doctor Perron: Anyway, I do have to be going off, but if you could call this week with Christian, and I'll try to have somebody, uh, or possibly myself calling back in about, uh...two hours. Okay?
Shoemaker: About...how many hours?
Doctor Perron: About, uh, two hours.
Shoemaker: About two hours... from now?
Doctor Perron: Yes, uh, are you going to be there? [laughs] -to be up?
Shoemaker: Uh, yeah, yeah. I'll be up until eleven, so yes.
Doctor Perron: Okay. Yeah, I'm sorry 'bout that. Um... all right, I've got to be getting off, but thank you very much for speaking.
Shoemaker: Okay.
Doctor Perron: Okay, thank you. Goodbye.
(Skype hangup sound)
Doctor Perron: [drops his British accent] Goddamn. [sighs] I was not expecting ANY of that. [typing]
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