Jail Communications

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Protip.jpg
PROTIP:

We highly advise against contacting Chris during his stay in jail. Chris is keeping records of the people who contacted him,[1] and if those somehow get leaked, then you'll have nobody but yourself to blame for potential harassment from weens and the secondhand embarrassment of being associated with him.
Chris writing letters

On 1 August 2021, Chris was arrested on a charge of incest against his mother Barbara, marking the first fully offline saga of Christory since his high school years. Almost all knowledge of what Chris and Barbara have been up to since his arrest has come from communications from jail – letters and phone calls – while he awaits his hearings and possible trial.

Chris's jail communications were suspended for a few months. Following his transfer from Central Virginia Regional Jail to Western State Hospital in February 2022, all mail sent to Chris at the jail was returned to the sender unread; Chris returned to the jail in May 2022 and resumed mail communications.

List of Letters

TakingThoseMislabelings.JPG
NOTE:

These letters cannot be used in court as evidence for any alleged "crimes" Chris has committed, as it is all purely Chris's word.
Christian writing his Epistles

Chris began sending handwritten letters from jail shortly after his arrest on 1 August 2021, although weens did not begin writing him en masse until the uploading of his "Jesus letter" to Kiwi Farms in late September. The envelopes arrive with a stamped disclaimer that the facility neither "censor[s] nor inspect[s]" Chris's letters – which has allowed him to release even more Honest Content.

August 2021

20 August

Chris begged for money to his inmate account to purchase socks, a bra, and sneakers.

September 2021

19 September

Chris wrote an open letter being defensive over his alleged theft of Barbara's money and for his incest charge. He also demonstrates a new coping mechanism - that he is Jesus Christ.

October 2021

3 October

Chris responds to a failed attempt to convert him to Islam.

4 October

Chris responds to a letter from Kenneth Engelhardt.

20 October

Chris answers six questions from a fan.

21 October

Chris responds to a 4chan user named "Shake Zula" about a plush he had been sent.

25 October (1)

Chris responds to a fan from Virginia, where he gives insight on how the officials at his jail treat him.

25 October (2)

Chris's second letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. Topics include Ken trying to mail Chris a copy of the Quran, Ken trying to arrange a pardon for Chris, Chris being unsure of wanting to kiss Null or Judas, and Chris commenting on prison ramen.

30 October

Chris's third letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. Chris instructs his fans to visit and donate to Barbara.

November 2021

8 November (1)

Chris responds to Youtuber Stories from The Penitentiary, giving a much clearer image on his mental state and his experiences in jail.

8 November (2)

Chris mentions that some officers have been "aloof; indifferent, or incompetent" to him; that he has been playing solo basketball in the exercise yard; and that Mary Lee Walsh is still mayor of CWCville.

16 November

Chris's fourth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt, on his experience in jail.

20 November

Chris outright states that as a result of the Dimensional Merge, the world we live in now exists in the same universe as that as the one the Sonichu comics take place in.

27 November

Chris sends a fifth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt discussing a car accident which totalled Son-Chu and seriously injured Barb.

30 November (1)

Chris writes to an Onion Farms user, Celestia, about the concept of "self-religion" as well as how he plans to "upgrade" Christianity to his own whims.

30 November (2)

Chris answers 12 questions from a Twitter Fan, "Eels and the Egg-man". The subjects discussed include Chris's current relations with Bella and The Suitress, his opinions on various Christubers, his plans after being released from jail, various dimensions, among other topics.

December 2021

6 December

Chris sends a sixth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. He further declares Null an incarnation of Judas, calling him a traitor and decides to "leak" various secrets about him.

9 December

Chris sends a second letter to Celestia, consisting of little more than lore pertaining to his Messiah complex and the Dimensional Merge.

10 December

13 December

Chris sends a seventh letter containing a Christmas card to Kenneth Engelhardt.

14 December

Chris sends an eighth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. He demands $200,000 to be sent to Barb following her involvement in a car crash in late November that totalled the latest iteration of Son-Chu.

22 December

Contains Chris's updated Ten Commandments.

January 2022

4 January

8 January

Chris sends a letter regarding a troll pretending to be a descendant of a Crusader.

11 January

Chris sends a ninth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. Chris makes a big point that Kenneth is only permitted to share a specific page online, feeling betrayed by the one letter he didn't even post. The allowed page isn't too noteworthy, Chris shares more lore within his version of Neo-christianity, more specifically how his mother is the avatar of Emanuel and his reincarnation after being crucified as Jesus 2022 years ago.

Kengle then decides to share the entire letter anyway a month later.

18 January

Chris sends a tenth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. He shuts down Kenneth's Sonichen-Sonichu crossover idea with a frank "HELL NO!!!", providing guidelines for future fanfictions (all of which the original Soinchu comic violates). Chris also provides extensive information about the geography of C-197 and states his intentions to return to 14 Branchland Court when released.

19 January

Chris sends an eleventh letter to Kenneth Engelhardt.

Date unknown

Chris sends a twelfth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt expressing his continued faith in the Merge. He includes a copy of his "Lord Goddess Blue Heart's Prayer" written on 13 January. Kenneth shared the prayer but not the main letter.

30 January

Chris sends a third letter to Spamton stating that he will be released from jail at his hearing on 3 February. He includes a copy of the "Lord Goddess Blue Heart's Prayer".

30 January (2)

Chris sends a copy of his prayer to Bizarre Bazaar along with a short letter.

May 2022

9 May

11 May

Chris sends the first letter since his transfer back to the Central Virginia Regional Jail. Chris once again blames Jacob Sockness for the COVID-19 pandemic, and blames the continuation of G5 My Little Pony for the Russian Invasion of Ukraine. Chris also dumps information about his mother's youth, and blames her for his incestous relationship with her.

25 May

Chris sends another letter to Kenneth, which he requests to conceal the contents of yet again.

June 2022

1 June

4 June

13 June

25 June

27 June

July 2022

4 July

14 July

21 July

22 July (1)

22 July (2)

29 July 2022

List of Calls

Chris is permitted to make outbound calls from jail for a maximum duration of fifteen minutes using money from his inmate account. As of May 2022, three people had recorded a total of six calls (assuming the medallion promotions were all recorded at the same time) and uploaded them in whole or in part to the internet. Chris has also tried calling Barbara and, at least on some occasions, has been unable to reach her.[2]

November 2021

1 November

Chris answers questions from a fan named Cory Allison who had written to him.

December 2021

24 December

Chris wishes Cory Allison a merry Christmas.

January 2022

10 January

Chris discusses global warming, remote learning and jail donations with an Onion Farms user called Zombo.

11 January

Chris talks with Zombo about Barbara's wellbeing and encourages people to protest his imprisonment.

13 January

Chris makes a public address to his internet fans while on a call with Zombo. The rest of the call outside of the address has not been shared.

Undated

Jail Medallion Promotions

Chris advertises for Praetor's medallions.

Goddess Log

The Goddess Log is a journal Chris has kept in jail. It was mentioned in several of Chris's letters from jail, and through his phone call to Cory Alisson, Chris reveals that he records the addresses of all of the people who have sent letters to him. Chris's 27 November 2021 letter to Kenneth Engelhardt mentions that he began keeping the journal on or before 7 August 2021, although it is not known when he began calling it the "Goddess Log".

Chris also makes mention in a November 2021 letter of the Akashic records, a compedium of all universal thoughts, events, words, and emotion recorded for all time in the religion of theosophy. Chris claims to have gotten several of the things he has recorded in the logs from the Akashic Guardian, who is the scribe of these records.

Gifts

Main article: Jail Letter Gifts

Over the months, Chris has sent various holy items to the senders of the respectful letters he receives from jail from what would otherwise be trash.

See Also

References

Incest saga icon.png Jail Saga NuthouseSagaIcon.png
The Players

Organizations: Lunar Module
People: ChrisDavid HeilbergKenneth EngelhardtCaden PeckHelena FiorenzaEels and the EggmanSpamton G. SpamtonMichael AfghaniThe CrusaderJacob Sockness
Fictional Characters: Vladamir Putin


The Games
Places: Central Virginia Regional JailWestern State Hospital
After the Merge: Jail Communications: Outside Events: