Jail Call - 10 January 2022

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Christ.JPG Delusion disclosure: This article or section takes place during Chris's phase of role-playing as Jesus Christ. He may refer to his Christine Chandler personality and physical body in the third person by using terms such as "soul partner".


The caller of this phone call is attempting to give money to Chris in jail. No matter how good your intentions may be, do not do this for any reason.

On 10 January 2022, Chris made a call from jail to the Onion Farms user Zombo.

Some highlights of this call include:

  • Chris briefly talks about how global warming is a sign of the end times.
  • Chris attempts to give parenting advice for the caller regarding how he can help his son during the COVID-19 pandemic, with reference to My Little Pony.
  • The caller talks about plans to send Chris money.
  • In addition, Chris tells him to contact Kenneth Engelhardt by making an account on the Onion Farms.

This is the only one of Chris's recorded jail calls which was released to the public in full without any cuts, although Chris's voice is inaudible for the first 90 seconds.

The Call

Chris's third jail call
Stardate 10 January 2022
Saga JailJail Jail


Recording: Press 1 to receive incoming call.

Zombo: Mm.

Recording: Press 2...

Recording: If you would like to...

Recording: Thank you for using Securus. You may start the conversation now.

Zombo: [coughs] Hey, good afternoon Christine. How you doin' today?

[Chris is inaudible.]

Zombo: Oh yeah, goin' through it?

[Chris is inaudible.]

Zombo: Good. I'm doin' okay, um, December was a bit of a rough month. Um... had a few deaths, people I know, just- in rapid succession, so I've kind of been depressed, but... um, y'know I'm just tryin' to, tryin to stay positive.

[Chris is inaudible at first but gradually becomes louder starting around the 1:30 mark.]

Chris: ...C-197 on that earth... or otherwise, if that was unavailable, your souls get reincarnated and you're somebody else on... part of the C-197 earth at this point, because we don't have much time left on this one. I mean, I even heard on the radio about more and more children getting inf- infected, so that's an obvious sign right there. And another one-

Zombo: Yeah.

Chris: I also heard this on the radio recently, that, apparently, uh, it got so warm up in the Antarctic, not only are the ice caps and bodies of ice melting, but, for the very first time, they recorded regular, not freezing, REGULAR RAIN.

Zombo: You know, I've heard that too, and I'm, um, I've been hearing that for years, there's actually, in like the North Pole there's like warm spots where it's like green grass and stuff.

Chris: Well, that- that does not surprise me too much.

Zombo: It's kinda crazy, ain't it? Everyone knows what's going on, but nobody's willing to, you know, give it any attention.

Chris: Yeah, it makes a lot more- to just, quote, "global warning" is the divine event. Of course, with, uh, Judgment Day on those left behind, and the collective shift and all that. [Inaudible] Uhm. You'll have to tell me about your son. How's he doing?

Zombo: Uhm, he's doing good. He's currently in the other room doing some schoolwork.

Chris: Oh, well that's good. Uhm. Virtual, or is he allowed to attend school?

Zombo: It's- it's in person. Yeah, they- they stopped doing the virtual. They're startin' to kind of get more relaxed with all the Covid restrictions, it's kind of interesting. They just- I just got an email yesterday saying instead of, y'know, ten days of quarentine now it's only five. So I don't know what the difference- why it changed but they're starting to, I don't know, not care as much I guess.

Chris: Yeah.. Uh.. On the one hand, yeah but on another, things are becoming more lax. But it's also, I have heard about on the radio, other schools just- y'know they were flip-flopping between the-

Zombo: Yeah.

Chris: The in-person and going back or being virtual [Unintelligible]

Zombo: So, yeah, we did that I- I sent, for all of fourth grade my son did virtual and he didn't learn a thing. It didn't- he's only in fourth grade, you can imagine they're just on YouTube. Kids aren't- And I'm one of the few, rare people who are able to work from home so my son was actually schooling from home right next to me and I was able to watch him. And he still got off task so much that his grades just absolutely plummeted. So, they need to figure out a better way other than just Zoom meetings. But, y'know, right now we don't really have much of a choice, I can't have him school from home so I have to send him, y'know, to the physical school. But if there was a way for him to school from home with it being affective still, I would probably do that.

Chris: Yeah. Well, one thing I can definitely offer, since you were able to observe your son, and that's actually a good advantage point on your part. You can actually talk with him and- and figure out how does best learn for himself.

Zombo: Right.

Chris: I mean- To just to offer comparison, look at the episode of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" Testing Testing, 1, 2, 3, where Rainbow Dash was about to get tested to be to be entered into The Wonderbolts. But she was- but she just had no knowledge. They had to figure it out through the, uh, the various learning and teaching methods, and then they found that Rainbow Dash can learn for herself by being up in the sky, looking down on Earth- on everything.

Zombo: Yeah, that's actually a great. Uhm. That's a great point that's absolutely true. My son ,uhm, didn't respond well to video learning. Uhm, I think most kids kinda struggled with it but he in particular was too distracted, so.

Chris: Yeah, that makes sense.

Zombo: Uhm, more- yeah, more of a physical thing is probably the best for now.

Chris: Physical things, yeah.

Zombo: But I was actually just getting ready to send out a letter to you because I missed your last couple of phone calls and I wanted to make sure that you didn't think I was blowin' ya off.

Chris: Uh, I appreciate that. Oh, but let me back- let me backtrack a moment. Well, I did want to check in with you and help you do better but, uh, but the big reason why I'm calling is because, presently, my inmate account is LOW on money. And I just checked it [Unintelligible] has eleven cents in it.

Zombo: Uh oh.

Chris: And my phone account has less than ten dollars in it right now so I got to be careful with, uh, how long I stick on the phone. [Unintelligible] Well, I need to get more money in and I saw on recent days that they weren't able not access the CVRJ website here so that's that on the [Unintelligible]

Zombo: Okay.

Chris: Alright, so what you can do for me, uh, in addition to you going on the website and then you donate on like twenty or fifty bucks from your own card and help me out a little. And another thing is-

Zombo: Sure. Yeah, I can do that.

Chris: Yeah. Is that you can also go onto OnionFarms. Contact Kenneth Engelhardt, send him the link. After you've confirmed it for yourself just tell him [Unintelligible] site's back up. You can go there, you can donate money to Christine again.

Zombo: Sorry, give me one second here. What was the name you just said?

Chris: Oh. Alright, well I said that you can tell Kenneth. Engelhardt.

Zombo: Can you spell that for me?

Chris: Uh. K, E, N, N, E, T, H, E, N, G, L, E, H, A, R, D, T.

Zombo: Alright, and what was the website you said?

Chris: Onion. Farms.

Zombo: Onion Farm? Is that OnionFarm.com?

Chris: Uhm. You might want to Google that 'cause I don't know a way to backtrack, it's literally OnionFarms.com

Zombo: Okay.

Chris: Because, I'm sure that KiwiFarms in comparison is not OnionFarms.com.

Zombo: M'kay. I've never heard of that site but I'll certainly see what I can figure out to help you out. And I can absolutely give you some money for your books.

Chris: Yes, I appreciate that. Alright, then yeah, go on the CVRJ website, maybe Google that first make sure you have the right link.

Zombo: So, yeah, I'll definitely do that. Let me see if I can bring it on here. CVRJ.com just to test it out while we're on the phone here. So I was tryna do this before and of course this site wasn't working but, uhm. So do I just look you up by name and- and will it show up? Is that how it works?

Chris: Y'know I don't know how it is because I don't have a computer in front of me, obviously.

Zombo: Yeah, yeah. Okay, well I can always- I can always maybe just call up there and have them tell me the specifics.

Chris: Yeah, they- yeah that's an idea but I feel that it's more common sense th- they got a like, oh, a link where you can donate to an inmate. You can look up the inmate by their name, obviously.

Zombo: M'kay. Yeah, and I wasn't sure- Yeah, so, yeah okay. I was trying to do that before but the site was down, so that's- yeah that clears it up. It looks like the site- if it's CBRJ it looks like it might still be down I just tried it while we were sit-in' here.

Chris: Hm.

Zombo: Let me try this again, let me put my phone down here.

Chris: Yep. Try Googling it.

Zombo: Yeah that's what I'm gonna do here. (typing noises) CBRJ, is that it?

Chris: Yeah. Or, y'know, the full terminology is Central Virginia Regional Jail.

Zombo: Oh, C -V- RJ. Duh, I'm a dork.

Chris: Why? Did you think I said C -B-?

Zombo: I did, yeah. Ohh okay, yeah. Wait, hang on here. "CVRG is for sale"? Uh, Oh. Alright, I'm doing a classic search here. I just want to make sure I'm lookin' up the right place to make sure I'm not sending the wrong person the money.

Chris: Type the word. Type in there Central. Virginia. Regional. Jail.

Zombo: Alright I just typed that in here. Let me see here... CVRJ...Hm.. They're not making this easy. There's the link...But it's not working. It looks like it's- it's just a white page, it's not doing anything. It-it might. Well if it comes back up, I'll keep trying it and I'll put some money on your books, I'll give you like fifty bucks.

Chris: Yeah, I appreciate that- [Unintelligible]

Zombo: And- and if I can't get on this website you said money orders are also accepted? Can I send a money order in your name?

Chris: Oh yes. You can send me via US sail- US mail- Uh, postal money orders or a cashier's check from your bank account.

Zombo: Okay. So yeah, I'll absolutely help you out and, uhm, if I don't get on the site t-, uh, tomorrow I'll send it in the mail and you'll get it either way.

Chris: Ahkay. And yeah, definitely recommend that you get in contact with Kenneth Engelhardt on Onion Farms. He's a decent guy- he's a decent guy, a good person for the most part. Even though he may have qualms at times, he's more of a neutral good.

Zombo: M'kay well I mean if he's doin' alright by ya, I trust him. I mean, I don't know- you've, you've kind of befriended some of the people who, y'know used to run the websites and stuff so.

Chris: Yeah. Yeah, it didn't work out so well or they didn't- they slowly betrayed me obviously.

Zombo: Pieces of shit, yeah.

Chris: Yeah.

Zombo: Pardon my French.

Chris: [Unintelligible]

Zombo: *Laughs* M'kay, um, so funnily enough, you wanna know something weird? Um, right after we started talking, your videos started getting recommended to me on youtube. It's so weird, it's like after we had our first phone call, y- like, that was the only time, even though I had already watched a metric shitton of videos about you on that other channel. Like, now your videos are starting to get on my recommended *laughs*.

Chris: [Unintelligible]

Zombo: Yeah, that algorithm's got me pegged, haha.

Chris: [Unintelligible]

Zombo: So how's everything else been going for you, other than, y'know, the troubles of, obviously being stuck in there?

Chris: Oh, well everything th- everything metaphysically and inter-dimensionally and all that's working out, and, just- I've been- My body and I, we've been working it out...

Zombo: Mmkay, that's good. Do you know, um, when your next court date is or anything like that? Are you, um, are you pretty hopeful about all that stuff or do you, um, you have help with that kind of stuff?

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