Jail Letter Gifts

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Over the months, Chris has sent various holy items to the senders of the respectful letters he receives from jail. A truly resourceful artist, Chris created these from what would otherwise be trash. Whether this counts as upcycling or downcycling is up to you.

Types of Gifts

Holy Labels

Holy Labels are bottle wrappers featuring illustrations made by Chris that he thinks will bless the drinker and purify the liquid being consumed. Chris believes that, by photocopying his scribbles, laminating them, and placing them around beverages, you will get his blessing. Chris sends these labels to his adoring fans and expects them to actually do as he commands.

All of the Holy Labels that have been sent thus far are written like this:

Scrawled on the back of a plastic bottle wrapper:
The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth! JailLetter2NewCWCCross.jpeg Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart.

All labels have a drawing of a Sonichu cross, meant to resemble a human uterus, in the center.

On the left are the words:

The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth!

And on the right are the words:

Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart.

In a letter sent to Kengle Chris quotes how to "properly" use his labels, "laminate it, or cover it with shipping tape, attach it to a bottle (mainly for water and NON-ALCOHOLIC Beverages) to enjoy thy liquid consumptions [sic] with my Blessings, safely, from that bottle". Chris's stipulation that the Holy Labels not be used for alcoholic beverages makes the ritual a sort of inversion of Christian Holy Communion, which is usually celebrated with wine. Whether Chris's predilection for grape Fanta labels over other flavors is a nod to the rite of Communion or simply his own preference for grape soda is anyone's guess.

Given that Chris's hygiene is most likely abysmal in jail, these bottle wrappers can be deemed utterly useless, and probably not advisable to use for one's own health.

NSC Tokens

NSC Tokens (short for Neo Spiritual Christianity Tokens) are hand-made coins Chris has created out of the bottoms of styrofoam cups for his newfound religion. The exact purpose of these are yet to be revealed by Chris.

List of Gifts Mailed

Front Back Gift Type Product Date Sent Sent To
KengleCocaColaFront.jpg KengleCocaColaBack.jpg Holy Label Coca Cola 30 October 2021 Kenneth Englehardt
11.8.21MailFantafront.jpeg 11.8.21MailFantaback.jpeg Holy Label Grape Fanta 8 November 2021 Stories from the Penitentiary
Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 - part 3.jpg Holy Label Coca Cola 30 November 2021 Celestia
JailLetter9Dec2021NSCFront.png JailLetter9Dec2021NSCBack.png NSC Token Styrofoam Cup 9 December 2021 Celestia
Holy Label Coca Cola 22 December 2021 Spamton
Holy Label Grape Fanta 22 December 2021 Spamton
NSC Token Styrofoam Cup 22 December 2021 Spamton
J4HolyLabelBack.png J4HolyLabelFront.png Holy Label Grape Fanta 4 January 2022 Bizarre Bazarr
J4NSCTokenFront.png J4NSCTokenBack.png NSC Token Styrofoam Cup 4 January 2022 Bizarre Bazarr

See Also

Incest saga icon.png Jail Saga NuthouseSagaIcon.png
The Players

People: ChrisDavid HeilbergPraetorKenneth EngelhardtBarbara ChandlerHelena FiorenzaEels and the Egg-manFlutterSpamton G. SpamtonZomboCory AllisonThe CrusaderBizarre BazaarCelestiaMichael AfghaniJacob Sockness

Places Misc Jail Communications:
Coinciding Sagas: Praetor