Chris's pocket knife, given to him by the powers that be, was one of his means of threatening the trolls and anyone else who stands in the way of true love. It is a small, multi-bladed "Swiss Army"-style tool, first seen in videos from early March 2010.
The only reason he chose a blade was likely because it was cheaper and easier to get than a gun that didn't turn into a robot.
Use of knife
In Don't Mess With Me, after Chris gets (the invisible) Clyde Cash into a headlock, he tries to take the knife out of his pocket, succeeding only on the second attempt. After fiddling with it for a good three seconds, he manages to get the blade out. He then uses it to slit Clyde's imaginary throat. While wrapped up in the passion of his murder fantasy, he carelessly swipes the knife within inches of his neck, coming dangerously close to slitting his own throat on accident.
In Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!, he brings it out again. After fiddling with it for a good eight seconds in a futile attempt to fold out the main cutting blade, he gives up and proceeds to effortlessly take out the corkscrew tool, using it to threaten his new foe, Surfshack Tito.
Chris believes his knife is the cure to all of his troll problems. In his threats to this very CWCki, delivered on 14 March 2010, he claimed that "he is armed," evidently in reference to his newfound weapon. Obviously, Chris is overestimating the power of the blade and his competence with it. Given Chris's awkward fighting style and an absence of muscle, disarming Chris would be a simple task for most able bodied people. Were he to actually use it in a fight, the mere act of opening it would give even the slowest opponent ample time to kick him in the duck. Not only that, but he'd also have to travel all around America, if not the world, to find every one of his major enemies.
After 4 years of dormancy, the pocket knife returned on 4 June 2015, where Chris revealed on Facebook that his utter foolishness resulted in him cutting his finger deeply and having to go to the ER to get it stitched.
- Fangs: Chris's previous weapon used to menace trolls.
- Megatron Pistol: Chris's other previous weapon used to menace trolls.
- Pepper spray: Chris's former weapon that he actually used to inflict injury.
- Cutco: The makers of mediocre, yet more intimidating knives.
- Baseball bat: Chris's latest weapon which he keeps stored in his backpack.