|“||You Haters MAY Laugh At Yourselves Now, but you all will be laughing out the other side of your face when Fate, Destiny and Karma smacks you Hard and Rough. Even Possible, I’ll have a tangible lightning bolt in my hand, and we’ll see if you survive being Paralyzed or worse.||”|
|Chris's reaction to the pizza prank trolls.|
Despite his belief that he is a compassionate, GodJesus-fearing person (or a loving goddess), Chris often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die as horribly as possible. While it's clear that Chris is no legitimate threat to anyone's lives, the murderous revenge fantasies he has are frequently disturbing in their nature, especially for the often juvenile motivation for such threats. These death threats have become increasingly common since 2009.
Due to recent events it is unlikely that Chris will be publishing any more death threats for the forseeable future.
Means of delivery
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his comic. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.
The majority of Chris's cries for blood were delivered via YouTube videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, shouting into a camera is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is. Lately, however, his preferred method of delivery seems to be Facebook, and he has even gone a step beyond what he usually does by trying to post pictures and the personal information of his targets, almost as if he expects the trolls to suddenly take his side and go after them instead of him. (Spoiler: They won't.)
Either Chris's store of rage has steadily accumulated over years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While it was once a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of 2009 and early 2010 Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis.
One of Chris's earliest and broadest death threats targeted Adam Stackhouse, the winner of Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown in 2007. Chris's primary complaint was that Adam's video featured his sister Anna (Anna Stackhouse, not to be confused with Anna McLerran) in a supporting role, along with some beatboxing (neither of which was actually against the rules). He also had similar complaints about the second and third-placed videos, and so wrote a PSN Blog entry which included the following:
|“||I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to DIE and BURN!||”|
|Chris's idea of a calm response to disappointment|
By itself, this could be written off as a pathetic outburst from a virgin with rage, but Chris wasn't content to leave it at that; he elevated it to an actual death threat by creating a video, the first two minutes of which featured nothing but Chris repeatedly shooting a picture of the Stackhouses. Whether or not the threats towards Adam (and the second and third-place contestants) were taken seriously, many felt that he was crossing the line by bringing Anna (who is considerably younger than Adam or Chris) into the matter, which is probably why he eventually removed the video from
In a rare display of conscience, Chris actually retracted and apologized for this death threat...about thirteen months after he first issued it. The offending blog entry was deleted by a PSN admin, after Chris responded to an earlier request to remove it himself by telling the admin in question to "SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!" (earning himself a temporary ban from PSN in the process).
On Christmas Day 2009, Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "Kill De Jack", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the homosexual ads that Jack had placed on the CWCipedia.
|“||And to go back to the current topic, Kill de Jack Thaddeus.||”|
|Chris, changing topics.|
Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 December 2009. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another video, where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill himself. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos, blog entries, and scattered about on the CWCipedia. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.
Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy--the Sonichu comics. In Sonichu #10, Chris trapped Jack and Clyde on top of the 4-cent_garbage.com building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves. This compromised the building's structural integrity, and effectively doomed everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower, opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft to escape being crushed under the rubble. These pages prove once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the Internet.
The creator of the ED page that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in Sonichu #8, where Chris depicted him being brutally slashed, electrocuted and faceraped by Rosechu. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.
Chris also tried to play the personal army game against him with a video. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.
|“||Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, along with him.||”|
|Chris subtly expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.|
|“||I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL||”|
|Chris-chan, Sonichu Girls forum|
And who can forget the phone call Jason received after Sonichu.net was hacked by someone Chris thought was him?
|“||I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!||”|
Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.
|“||EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH! I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I WILL...POUND HIS LIGHTS OUT! IF I EVER MEET THAT BASTARD...IN PERSON.||”|
|Chris, while smiling evilly.|
The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's trolls, Clyde Cash has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive in its own right. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or kept his demands for their deaths relatively infrequent. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.
|“||CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! YOU ARE DEAD!||”|
|Chris, somewhat angry.|
Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.
|“||You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!||”|
|Chris, asking for a fight.|
Chris posted another video in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, intended as an ominous warning to other trolls.
Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of genocide has apparently not occurred to him.
|“||THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN VIVIAN!||”|
|Chris, immediately before sinking his teeth into a doll's head.|
Ian Brandon Anderson made a number of videos raging against the real Chris, but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the SingStar Challenge.
|Ian, eloquently expressing his disapproval.|
Ian's murderous tendencies showed up again in Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler. In the video, Ian manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.
In a stunning display of unoriginality, Ian reused exactly the same plotline for Sonichu Special 4. In this comic, Ian depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped Kacey. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Ian produces a handgun (possibly Decepticon leader Megatron in disguise), shoots Liquid in both his shins, and leaves him to bleed to death. When Kacey expressed horror at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Ian missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep Liquid from chasing them, completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone or permanently cripple them is off-putting. Ian also tried to justify this with the fact that Comic-Liquid was coming at him with a knife, and didn't seem to comprehend the real source of Kacey's shock: she wasn't angry at Comic-Chris for defending himself (albeit in a cowardly way) as she was angry at Real-Chris for constructing a fantasy in which he could justify maiming and permanently crippling her boyfriend, and be completely in the right about it.
|“||NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF HER VIDEOS AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!||”|
|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.|
While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, Clyde Cash), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.
Vivian revealed in a now-deleted YouTube video that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 September 2009 he actually sent her an e-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris does not have the Death Note, and Vivian survived.
|“||D, Vivian G, D!||”|
|Chris, 13 September 2009|
Chris later apologized for the threatening message. While the apology was more like begging for money than a genuine show of remorse, it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.
Alec Benson Leary
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a parody in a misguided effort to avoid copyright infringement and create a moneymaking franchise, when someone actually parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of Asperchu, which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his Mailbag.
On January 9, 2010, the first Captain's Log of that year, Chris called out Alec Benson Leary after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki (the Asperpedia) started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.
|“||DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!||”|
|Chris, being Chris as usual.|
Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same MediaWiki software. A few days later, Chris claimed that he knew where Alec lived in the description to one of his videos. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.
While delivering an in-depth analysis of Asperchu, Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog Patti maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his adspace on the CWCipedia to ask people to donate to victims of the earthquake in Haiti. Clearly, Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in Sonichu #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.
Evan, Mao and Sean
Chris included Evan and Mao, two of Leary's partners in the creation of Asperpedia, in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have his character removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 1 February 2010 a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on CWCipedia. Mao was set on the receiving end of a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha and then was asked to "Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!" while, on the other side, Evan and Alec received apologies for the death threats with a hint of reciprocity for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to "rot... in... HELL!!!"
|“||My amends have been made.||”|
|Chris, failing at respect and basic English after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution.|
Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening to beat him and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until Sonichu 10 - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him. Then, approximately one page after finishing his apology, he summarily executes all four of the poor bastards. While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.)
A vague death threat was given when Chris discovered the CWCki on 11 March 2010, where Chris claimed "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later extended the deadline to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris once again believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the Internet. His threat to her was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, Easter Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am Armed after all." This threat was realized when Chris created an account on the CWCki, and proceeded to fail at vandalism.
Chris's threats were directed to the webmaster of the CWCki, but he never realised both the CWCki and the CWCipedia had the same webmaster.
On 2 March 2010, after Surfshack Tito hacked into Chris's PSN account, he weakly threatened that (Tito) would "get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares", while also firing a Curse Shot. Twelve days later, in his video "Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!", he threatens Tito with his pocket knife and a panty shot in a kilt. Chris believed that Tito was the main reason The Wallflower stopped talking to him; the actual cause for their separation was partly due to concerned trolls and partly due to Chris's refusal to be "friend-zoned". In either case, Chris's threat did not work; instead, he offended countless citizens of Scotland and the United Kingdom in the same way he offended Native Americans in his War Paint Video.
On 17 March 2010, Chris made his most threatening video yet: in it, he accused Surfshack Tito of being the Man in the Pickle Suit, a womanizer, and a rapist; called him a nigger; and promised to cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the CWCipedia. The CWCipedia was then taken over by Mao, allowing the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.
On 25 September 2010, Chris unleashed his anger against Lars, Jackie's ex-boyfriend by smashing a model boat made of LEGO symbolizing the Titanic with a figurine named "Lars" aboard. Two days later, Chris addressed to Lars a second video in which he claimed that he would "interfere" if Lars didn't grow up and leave Jackie alone. He ended the video by throwing another toy boat to the ceiling.
On 13 February 2011, Chris released the Autism Tutorial levels in LBP2. In part three of the series, a rant about Mary Lee Walsh segues into a death threat directed towards Michael Snyder, in which Chris expresses his wish that The GAMe PLACe would catch fire and burn down, killing Michael in the process.
The infamous Imgur leak would also reveal multiple wishes made by Chris that Michael should die, including one where he wished Snyder was murdered by gunshot.
|“||I still want to make Mimms' life the emotional hell he has turned my life into. Somebody, please, kill his girlfriend.||”|
|A leaked Twitter post from 12 May 2012.|
An archive of his hidden Facebook posts on Imgur revealed an enraged Chris demanding that somebody kill Mimms' girlfriend, claiming that he wanted to take away the "possession" that made Mimms feel happy the most.
A leaked Facebook post revealed that Chris thought Megan was "Queen of the trolls" , and that he wanted to "exact his fullest revenge" upon her, right before saying that she should be jailed and beaten. He then follows up this very mean-spirited post by calling her "vile" and "wicked".
On 28 April 2012, Chris made the declaration that he found the CWCki Forums, that he knows where each member lives, and that he'll come after each of them.
Every Single Employee of Sega
- Main article: Sonic Boom Protests
Even the creators of Chris's childhood hero are not safe from death threats. You might think this was because of one (or more) of their horribly underwhelming Sonic games of recent years, but no- Chris made this threat because the 2014 game Sonic Boom (and the accompanying TV series) changed the color of Sonic's arms from tan to blue.
|“||You Either Recall EVERYTHING of the new Sonic Boom, RIGHT NOW, or I will Seriously RIP HIS ARMS OFF and Seriously Watch You All At SEGA DIE from this most Heinous Of Crimes EVER!!!||”|
|Chris, in a typical demonstration of where his priorities are.|
Oh, and in case you're wondering whose arms Chris was threatening to possibly rip off, the Facebook post which contained this death threat was accompanied by a shot of an angry Chris holding a soft toy Sonic based off of the Sonic Boom design. Needless to say, many of his Facebook friends, including William Elliott Waterman, immediately called him out for this absurd overreaction, to no avail. The following month, Chris escalated matters by posting the following to the "Keep Sonic Original" Facebook group:
|“||WE NEED TO KILL SEGA INTO RECALLING EVERYTHING NOW!!! EVEN IF WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE PUT KNIVES AND BOMBS TO THEIR TROATS!!!||”|
|What happens when Chris doesn't get his way.|
Not surprisingly, Chris was ejected from the group almost immediately. Undeterred, he set up his own group, where he began making cryptic remarks about putting his "fingernails to Sega's throat." When others questioned him on what exactly he was talking about, he confirmed that yes, this was indeed another death threat:
|“||But, now I am looking to slit their throats with my long fingernails to force the Total Recall of Everything Sonic Boom to Fix the Mistake to happen SOONER!||”|
|Chris, revealing his unusual choice of assassination weapons.|
Sega never reacted to Chris's demands, not that this stopped him from continuing his Sonic Boom protests, and even escalating them to previously unseen levels.
Chris has an intense hatred of President Donald Trump, to the point that he made two videos of himself role-playing acts of violence on him with Transformers and My Little Pony toys, while saying phrases such as "And now, we'll stomp Donald Trump's head".
It should be noted that calling death on the President of the United States is actually a major offense that can lead to you getting a visit from the Secret Service.
On 10 November 2016, Chris also wished death to Vice President-elect Mike Pence, likely because he discovered his views can be arguably considered more malicious than Trump's, along with the President-elect Trump on a Twitter post. He wished for Trump and Pence's deaths by January 2017.
On 4 July 2019, Chris expressed his impotent frustrations over the Idea Guys' actions from the year before:
|Realizing that it Had been quite, quite the while since I resumed a few days ago and when I ended up stopping in book 15, thanks to the events involving Idea Guy and Johnson Wiles, I ended up messing up on Rosie’s young and short bosoms (I could KILL them Both after they, and Boyd, extorted Six Frigging Thousand Dollars from me during those developmental and Very Eventful Months, IN FULL, Plus Interest!).|
Pizza prank trolls
On 5 August 2019, Chris was inconvenienced by trolls blacklisting him from Papa John's pizza delivery service. He wrote an angry tirade in which he invoked his CPU Blue Heart goddess fantasies:
|You Haters MAY Laugh At Yourselves Now, but you all will be laughing out the other side of your face when Fate, Destiny and Karma smacks you Hard and Rough. Even Possible, I’ll have a tangible lightning bolt in my hand, and we’ll see if you survive being Paralyzed or worse.|
Characters from Pony Life cartoon
During November 2019, Hasbro premiered a promo of a spin-off My Little Pony cartoon titled Pony Life, as a replacement for the long-running Friendship is Magic. An upset Chris complained bitterly, saying he was "Protesting to kill #GOPony." As Chris believes cartoon characters are real in another dimension - and, in hypocrisy, has warned Hasbro that ending Friendship is Magic would devastate that universe - his announcement is tantamount to death threats against the inhabitants from Pony Life.
Chris's extreme, irrational hatred of the series combined with his belief that fictional characters exist on a separate plane of reality eventually led him to threaten to kill Harry Potter through a Pokémon card.
Chris as a recipient
Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from Michael Snyder on 4 June 2010. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to photograph his daughter, this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, bitching about the "verbal harassment" in his next video.
Earlier, during the Ivy saga, Chris received a death threat from a Clyde Cash impersonator. Despite all of his tough talk, Chris was completely paralyzed by fear and actually shat his bed in terror. Before Ivy could convince him that the threat was an empty one, he had placed a decoy in his soiled bed and hidden under a pile of stuffed animals, as if he were a child hiding from the boogeyman.
Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats
As a bit of reassurance to anyone who thinks that Chris, a mentally ill man who has endured endless harassment from the trolls would one day snap and attempt to kill somebody, consider the following. For starters, Chris is a coward, and would likely run at the slightest hint of conflict, possibly shitting himself in terror in the process. Secondly, Chris's poor health, lack of exercise and slow reaction time would make being chased and overpowered by him in any instance a sheer impossibility unless the recipient is in far worse health than him. Also, Chris often assumes that his target would simply stand there and let him carry out murder, almost like an execution, and it's likely that should his target try to fight back, he'll be caught off guard. Last, but not least, Chris seems to prefer that his trolls come directly to him, as going out of his comfort zone is far too much effort. Lest we forget, he wouldn't even put up $800 to pursue his own lifelong dreams, so what makes you think he'll even bother going after trolls, even if he knew where they all lived?
Long story short, the most likely outcome of Chris attempting to follow up on his death threats would be a good old-fashioned round of America's favorite game.
- August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns
- September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls
- Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt
- July 2019 social media posts#Patreon Post: From Start to Recent
- Hasbro! MLP G4 Must Continue; NO MLP G5
- Ivy Q&A#Threats