Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!

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Surfshack Tito started this Lingering Heartache Chaos! I will take him down Personally!
Chris, blaming someone's else for his mistakes, again.
[This video] was pretty much dictated [by trolls]. Like, we'd play off of his interests at the time. So he was already trying to use his royal heritage in a half baked attempt to seduce the wallflower. We just prodded Chris into directly challenging Tito, by wearing a kilt to show just how British he is.
Marvin on how trolls manipulated Chris into recording the video.[1]
I see London, I see Greece, I see Chris's DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS!

Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! was uploaded by Chris early in the morning of 14 March 2010. Chris is angry with Surfshack Tito, blaming him for causing a rift between Chris and the Wallflower. He then proceeds to threaten Tito by putting on a Scottish kilt, showing him his underwear, shouting in such a bad Scottish accent that it's insulting, and being completely incompetent with a pocket knife. It should also be noted that seeing as Chris is annoyed that the personal details of the Wallflower have been leaked to the Internet, it would only make sense in his continuing parade of fail that he should drop her name. Twice. Furthermore, the very next video he released features her pen name in the title, which is exactly how the trolls identified her in the first place.

It is also worth noting that "Brits" is an all-encompassing term for anyone from the United Kingdom, which includes Scotland and Northern Ireland, as well as England, Wales, and a number of outlying territories and islands. This video was released shortly before St. Patrick's Day, which does something to explain the Celtic vibe of the video. Unfortunately, this also implies an ignorance of the differences between the Scottish and Irish peoples, of which there are many. He also leaves Wales out entirely, which is ironic because it is one of very few countries in the world with people who can naturally pronounce his dumb abbreviation (i.e. "cook"). However, in a case of dumb luck that he couldn't have possibly intended, Ireland's Call, the song playing in the background, is actually the anthem of the united Ireland rugby team; created to be inclusive to both Irish Catholics and Northern Irish Protestants, who are in fact mostly of Scottish descent.

This video's title was noted in 2018 by the actual Britons at Cambridge University as an example of substandard English, and has become the first known instance of formal linguistic study of Chris's odd habits.[2]


Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!
Direct link Youtube, archive
Stardate 14 March 2010
Subject Matter RacismRacism Racism, ViolenceViolence Violence
Performance Style RageRage Rage, CrazyCrazy Crazy
Saga Surfshack TitoSurfshack Tito Surfshack Tito
Shirt Tan Wide LinesTanwidestripeshirt.png Tan Wide Lines
Don't Mess With Me
"Damian Antaria", PLEASE,
Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!

Ach, ye wee laddy. You not gonna get me lassy today.


[Ireland's Call is playing on the background.]

TITO. Listen to me, you son of a bitch. Your-your days are numbered. I have forwarded your admission... to... [the Wallflower], and also the awesome gal-pal that we know between us, our Scarlet. And with great honor and glory, I will take pleasure in beatin' up your ass... and also... regain th-regain the love... and trust and friendship... of [the Wallflower].

Either way, you are going down, Tito. One way... [Chris does a horrifyingly high kick wherein we can see his tighty-whities quite clearly under his kilt.]


[He then fumbles with his Pocket knife, opening the corkscrew tool after a good eight seconds and briefly brandishing it.] ...or three! [He puts the knife on a desk off screen.]

[Chris begins badly imitating a Scottish accent and standing effeminately with one hand on his hip.] Ach, ye wee laddy. You not gonna get me lassy today. [Chris comes closer to the camera and diverges into an accent somewhere between Scottish and Jamaican.] I kick yo' ass with me shillelagh! [He fails to produce a shillelagh. Chris then holds up his right fist to display his high school ring.] And mah ring, man!

See also


Don't Mess With Me Chris's videos "Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!
Surfshacktito saga.png Tito Saga Surfshacktito saga.png
The Players: The Games: The Prizes:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, PSN Hacking, First Exile, Calling Out
Videos for trolls

Clyde Cash: Plea to Clyde | Chris Comes Out of the Closet | Vibrator destruction video | The proof | BACK THE FUCK OFF | Secret Weapon | Take that Page DOWN NOW! | YouTube Finale | A CWC Audition | Chris Calls Clyde Out | Sign destruction video | Clyde Cash the kid video | Challenge for Clyde | Challenge for Clyde II | Chris loses it | War paint video | Response to Gregg | To Clyde Gregg | ClydeGoingOnGregg1 | Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!! | Clyde is Weaker than Water | Getting Foam Ed | I AM STRONG | Twin Falling Towers | It will never end | Apology for doing WTC | No More Jokes | To Clyde and Jack | Don't Mess With Me | I am Clyde Cash | Chris has no creativity | Chris "executes" Clyde

Other trolls: We're Being Watched | Naïve YouTubers | A near public apology | Rollin' and Trollin' | CWC Trollin More | It's UGH! | Chris humps his PS3 | THAT IS MY HOUSE | Forgiveness Blessings | Curse the Trolls | Ultimatum for Vivian | Chris dispels videogame rumors | To Clyde and Jack | Multiple challenge | Asperchu fury | Surfshack Tito | A message to the Trolls | Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! | Chris Drops the N-Bomb | I Pimp My Ride | Chris tells the trolls | Sonichu copyrights | Stardate, August 27, 2010 | ItIsFinished | Anti Troll Movement Video1 | Don't make the Grimace sad | I am Alec Benson Leary | Calling Out videos | Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada

Lady Managers: Doxing Jeff/Francine | Thank You, Jeff, and I accept your apology. | Update 1/17/2016 | Jeff is Beyond Denounced.

Idea Guys: Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World! | Cherokean Chant | Smashing | Get Out, You D*** Nazis! | Tour of Chris's House III | Chris apologizes to Gwen | Chris slaps himself | Dick Licker; that is I. | One-Hundred! | Chris pleads to stop Cryzel Torture‎ | All Star | Chris lost Crystal | I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms