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Chris humps his PS3

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/v/'s reaction
 
 
I humped it for eight sweating minutes, and I just gave you the song and dance [...] If I am NOT satisfied with FULL Return of my Accounts AFTER I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' TORMENT AND TORTURE, it will be ON your head and In your nightmares.
 

 

—Chris to Jack[1]

On 24 July 2009, a video of Chris humping his beloved PS3 was leaked onto 4-cent garbage's /v/. In it, Chris makes love to his "Life Upgrade" for eight minutes, although he can only stay standing for the first minute. What might at first seem to be just an impressive display of fanboyism is actually a desperate plea for the return of his international PlayStation Network accounts, seemingly being held to ransom by the irrational expert hacker Jack Thaddeus.

Chris himself sat in on an IRC chat where a coterie of trolls planned the making of the video, where he believed that he had effectively hidden his identity. Bits of Chris's monologue are simply repetitions of what he heard during the chat.

In his wisdom, Thaddeus never returned the PSN accounts to this day.


Video

Chris humps his PS3
Stardate 24 July 2009
Subject Matter PowerPower Power, SexSex Sex, Video gamesVideo games Video Games
Performance Style ComedyComedy Comedy
Shirt BlueTshirt.png Blue T-Shirt
Other LeakedLeaked Leaked
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
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CWC "Boyfriend"


Transcript

Statistics
RankS.jpg
Damn Count 42
Fuck Count 21
Give (X) Count 23
Jack Thaddeus Count 17
Number of Humps 1173
Avg. Humps Per Second 2.23

[Chris moves the camera, holding his PS3, then begins humping it while standing to his side.] Oh, damn you Sack Thaddic—Jack Thaddeus, give me back my PlayStation Network accounts. I'm. So. Damn. Stu. Pid. I've. Got. A. God. Damn. Mother. Fuckin'. 6. Inch. Cock. With. 4. Inch. Di. Am. Ih. Ter. BAWLS. I hope you—-uh...gimme back. My. Play. Station. Network. accounts. [He moves to the center.] Givem back to me, begging you...humping...nearly...on...mother...fuckin'...knees. You are...so...damn...this...is...the...worst...of...black...mail. Give me back my Play...Station...Ne--Network accounts. All...5...of those out-of-country a--ccounts.

[He moves to his side again.] I don't know if I could do this any better. But I'm doing this damn, damn, damn motherfucking hump! [sighs twice, before sitting down and continuing to hump] Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, mother...fucking heavy...motherfucking heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy...like a woman, with...heavyweight body type and damn...G...cup...breasts. It's a torture. It's a...pain, making me have to do this for 8 damn minutes. [stands up again] So, damn. [sits down again] Damn, damn, damn, emdamn, damn, damn, UGH damn. Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack motherfucking Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts and [grabs the PSEye and moves it lower] hold up your end of the bargain like you promised and leave me the motherfucking alone. Go bother somebody else you damn...[panting and sighing]

Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Networks account, you expert hacker! You, you ir—rational expert! Motherfucking...burning-in-hell...hacker! I don't even know how you even got the damn information about those 5 in the motherfucking first place! Jack Thaddeus, [whiny] GIVE ME BACK MY PLAYSTATION NETWORK ACCOUNTS!

This hurts! OH, this hurts! OH, this mother...fucking...hurts...uh...mother...uh...uh...uh...motherfucking hurts. Give me back my PlayStation...Network...'counts. [moves the camera closer] Oh, and some...motherfucking...master...of obvious social inquiries with DAMN drug deals, DAMN cocaine, GOT A family somewhere, someway or another...Alex being one of your damn relatives somehow, no idea, but give me back my...PlayStation Network accounts, yi motherfucking idiots. This really is a paaaain! It hurts, it hurts, because...the dang, dang 'ing is...so motherfucking heavy. I love PlayStation! I love PlayStation! Kill the Xbox! New reason why they call it the motherfucking 360. You look at it makes you turn around-- makes you do a 360° and walk away. Very appropriately called is a damn 120°, 130° whatever, whatever the half of 360° is. [stops, then continues]

Ugh, damn, damn, damn, [stands up] damn, damn! Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts I love PlayStation Sony reigns, Sony will reign in the console wars. No matter who argues. Fuck the 3 fits—360 fanatics. Fuck them all to hell. Shot to hell. Damn them all. What the fuck. They're all motherfucking idiots. What the fuck. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts. All 5 of those...out of...United States of America accounts.

Give 'em...all back. Give 'em all back. Give 'em. Give 'em all back. Ugh. [sits down again] Give 'em. Give 'em. Give 'em. GIVE 'EM. GIVE 'EM. GIVE 'EM. Give 'em back. Jack Thaddeus, motherfuckin' bastard. Think you're so, oh yeah, you so tough. You think you man. Some day you're gonna fall. You're gonna fall...and...God help you when you fall. You'll be down to hell, but I guess you don't care 'bout that, you're just a...motherfucking prince of hacking and torturing. Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts, you Jack Thaddeus. Ugh. Ugh. Oh, Jack Thaddeus. Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my motherfucking...PlayStation Network accounts.

Hey hey, yeah yeah, I don't like your boyfriend. No way, no way. Girl, I think you need a new one. Hey hey, yeah yeah, girl, woman, I could be your boyfriend. 'Cause...I am damn straight. Uh, damn rumors on the Internet from damn trolls make a mockery outta me and everything I do. That's...drawn me down to...quit drawing 'cause I lost motherfucking inspiration. Uh, damn, Jack Thaddeus give me back my PlayStation Network accounts.

Fan videos

Chris screws his Playstation
Stardate 05 November 2009
Made By ujustgotpwned2008
Subject Matter Porn remix
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


WELCOME TO THE INTERNET
Stardate 05 November 2009
Made By ujustgotpwned2008
Subject Matter Still Alive remix
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


Chris-Chan's PS3 Love Reversed
Stardate 13 November 2017
Made By Craig Smith
Subject Matter His love for the PS3 was too honest here...
His TRUE LOVE can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTTO-Z4E71A
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

See also

Cwc dare Chris's videos CWC "Boyfriend"

References

  1. Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 3
Videos for trolls

Clyde Cash: Plea to Clyde | Chris Comes Out of the Closet | Vibrator destruction video | The proof | BACK THE FUCK OFF | Secret Weapon | Take that Page DOWN NOW! | YouTube Finale | A CWC Audition | Chris Calls Clyde Out | Sign destruction video | Clyde Cash the kid video | Challenge for Clyde | Challenge for Clyde II | Chris loses it | War paint video | Response to Gregg | To Clyde Gregg | ClydeGoingOnGregg1 | Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!! | Clyde is Weaker than Water | Getting Foam Ed | I AM STRONG | Twin Falling Towers | It will never end | Apology for doing WTC | No More Jokes | To Clyde and Jack | Don't Mess With Me | I am Clyde Cash | Chris has no creativity | Chris "executes" Clyde

Other trolls: We're Being Watched | Naïve YouTubers | A near public apology | Rollin' and Trollin' | CWC Trollin More | It's UGH! | Chris humps his PS3 | THAT IS MY HOUSE | Forgiveness Blessings | Curse the Trolls | Ultimatum for Vivian | Chris dispels videogame rumors | To Clyde and Jack | Multiple challenge | Asperchu fury | Surfshack Tito | A message to the Trolls | Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! | Chris Drops the N-Bomb | I Pimp My Ride | Chris tells the trolls | Sonichu copyrights | Stardate, August 27, 2010 | ItIsFinished | Anti Troll Movement Video1 | Don't make the Grimace sad | I am Alec Benson Leary | Calling Out videos | Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada | Doxing Jeff/Francine | Thank You, Jeff, and I accept your apology. | Update 1/17/2016 | Jeff is Beyond Denounced. | Paid Message to the Trolls

Leaked Videos

For Julie's Eyes Only | A CWC Audition | Fetish Vids | Power | CWCFlyingElephants | CWC "Boyfriend" Leaked Edition | Chris Humps His PS3 | THAT IS MY HOUSE (Director's Cut) | For J-R's Eyes Only | The MovingFoward videos | It Is Finished | Outdoors workout | JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication | Cwcsicle | Message for John Kyle | A few kicks | Chris's Specimen Sample | Women Only Need Apply - No STD's