Chris humps his PS3

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Manipulation Disclosure: The views Chris expresses may or may not be his own. Many of Chris's videos were orchestrated behind the scenes by trolls putting ideas in his head or goading him to act out; the majority of these interactions was never released to the public.

This article is rated M for Honest Content

It may contain content deemed not suitable for work. Reader discretion is advised.
/v/'s reaction
I humped it for eight sweating minutes, and I just gave you the song and dance [...] If I am NOT satisfied with FULL Return of my Accounts AFTER I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' TORMENT AND TORTURE, it will be ON your head and In your nightmares.
Chris to Jack[1]

On 24 July 2009, a video of Chris humping his beloved PS3 was leaked onto 4-cent garbage's /v/. In it, Chris makes love to his "Life Upgrade" for eight minutes, although he can only stay standing for the first minute. What might at first seem to be just an impressive display of fanboyism is actually a desperate plea for the return of his international PlayStation Network accounts, seemingly being held to ransom by the irrational expert hacker Jack Thaddeus.

Chris himself sat in on an IRC chat where a coterie of trolls planned the making of the video, where he believed that he had effectively hidden his identity. Bits of Chris's monologue are simply repetitions of what he heard during the chat.

In his wisdom, Thaddeus never returned the PSN accounts to this day.


Chris humps his PS3
Stardate 24 July 2009
Subject Matter PowerPower Power, SexSex Sex, Video gamesVideo games Video Games
Performance Style RageRage Rage, CrazyCrazy Crazy
Saga PS3 HackingPS3 Hacking PS3 Hacking
Shirt BlueTshirt.png Blue T-Shirt
Other LeakedLeaked Leaked
Cwc dare
CWC "Boyfriend"

Sony will reign in the console wars.
A man humping his PS3


Damn Count 42
Fuck Count 21
Give (X) Count 23
Jack Thaddeus Count 17
Playstation Count 14
Number of Humps 1173
Avg. Humps Per Second 2.23

[Chris moves the camera, holding his PS3, then begins humping it while standing to his side.] Oh, ...damn you Sack Thaddic—Jack Thaddeus, give me back my PlayStation Network accounts. I'm. So. Damn. Stu. Pid. I've. Got. A. God. Damn. Mother. Fuckin'. 6. Inch. Cock. With. 4. Inch. Di. Am. Ih. Ter. BAAAAAWWWWWWLS. I hope you—-uh...gimme back. My. Play. Station. Network. Accounts. [He moves to the center.] Givem back to me, begging you...humping...nearly...on...mother...fuckin'...knees. You Give me back my Play...Station...Ne--Network accounts. All...5...of those out-of-country a--ccounts.

[He moves to his side again.] I don't know if I could do this any better. But I'm giving this thing a damn, damn, damn motherfucking hump! [sighs twice, before sitting down and continuing to hump] Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, mother...fucking heavy...motherfucking heavy, heavy, heavy, a woman, with...heavyweight body type and damn...G...cup...breasts. It's a torture. It's a...pain, making me have to do this for 8 damn minutes. [stands up again] So, damn. [sits down again] Damn, damn, damn, emdamn, damn, damn, UGH damn. Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack motherfucking Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts and [grabs the PSEye and moves it lower] hold up your end of the bargain like you promised and leave me the motherfucking alone. Go bother somebody else you damn...[panting and sighing]

Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Networks account, you expert hacker! You, you ir—rational expert! Motherfucking...burning-in-hell...hacker! I don't even know how you even got the damn information about those 5 in the motherfucking first place! Jack Thaddeus, [whining, with his voice cracking right at the end] GIVE ME BACK MY PLAYSTATION NETWORK ACC-HOUNTS!

This hurts! OH, this hurts! OH, this mother...fucking...hurts...uh...mother...uh...uh...uh...motherfucking hurts. Give me back my PlayStation...Network...'counts. [moves the camera closer] Oh, and some...motherfucking...master...of obvious social inquiries with DAMN drug deals, DAMN cocaine, GOT A family somewhere, someway or another...Alex being one of your damn relatives somehow, no idea, but give me back my...PlayStation Network accounts, yi motherfucking idiots. This really is a paaaain! It hurts, it hurts, because...the dang, dang 'ing motherfucking heavy. I love PlayStation! I love PlayStation! Kill the Xbox! New reason why they call it the motherfucking 360. You look at it makes you turn around-- makes you do a 360 and walk away. Very appropriately called is a damn 120, 130 whatever, whatever the half of 360 is. [stops, then continues]

Ugh, damn, damn, damn, [stands up] damn, damn! Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts I love PlayStation Sony reigns, Sony will reign in the console wars. No matter who argues. Fuck the 3 fits—360 fanatics. Fuck them all to hell. Shot to hell. Damn them all. What the fuck. They're all motherfucking idiots. What the fuck. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts. All 5 of those...out of...United States of America accounts.

Give 'em...all back. Give 'em all back. Give 'em. Give 'em all back. Ugh. [sits down again] Give 'em. Give 'em. Give 'em. GIVE 'EM. GIVE 'EM. GIVE 'EM. Give 'em back. Jack Thaddeus, motherfuckin' bastard. Think you're so, oh yeah, you so tough. You think you man. Some day you're gonna fall. You're gonna fall...and...God help you when you fall. You'll be down to hell, but I guess you don't care 'bout that, you're just a...motherfucking prince of hacking and torturing. Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts, you Jack Thaddeus. Ugh. Ugh. Oh, Jack Thaddeus. Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my motherfucking...PlayStation Network accounts.

Hey hey, yeah yeah, I don't like your boyfriend. No way, no way. Girl, I think you need a new one. Hey hey, yeah yeah, girl, woman, I could be your boyfriend. 'Cause...I am damn straight. Uh, damn rumors on the Internet from damn trolls make a mockery outta me and everything I do. That's...drawn me down to...quit drawing 'cause I lost motherfucking inspiration. Uh, damn, Jack Thaddeus give me back my PlayStation Network accounts.

Fan videos

Stardate 24 December 2017
Made By Craig Smith
Subject Matter Why The iDOLM@STER abandoned the HEXBOX...
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

See also


Cwc dare Chris's videos CWC "Boyfriend"
PS3Test.png PS3 Hacking Saga PS3Test.png
The Players

People: Chris (JenkinsJinkiesBill Riley) • Clyde CashJack ThaddeusSurfshack TitoBlueSpikeSamantha ThaddeusKatie BayLiquid ChrisPandaHalo

E-mails and Chats:
Jack Thaddeus (123) • SamanthaKatie Bay (123456) • Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails
The Games: The Prizes:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Julie, Tito, First Exile, Jackie,
💪 💪 💪 Power videos 💪 💪 💪

CWC Update 18 January 2009Chris Destroys His VibratorTake that Page DOWN NOW!PowerChris humps his PS3Sign Destruction VideoChallenge for ClydeChris Loses ItCWC Fighter30 Push-UpsClyde is Weaker than WaterI AM STRONG51 50Sonichu's EdgeDon't Mess With MeTito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!The MovingFoward videosLars' Ship has Sunk.MOVA HikeA WorkoutWeighInWelcometoBollywoodPull-upsVictory RockoutCheerleaderA few kicksLesbian Sex AuditionEid, Pmurt, EidSmashingGet Out, You D*** NazisChris slaps himselfOne-HundredWalking to the post officeOn mah Treadmill, dawgs!

Videos for trolls

Clyde Cash: Plea to Clyde | Chris Comes Out of the Closet | Vibrator destruction video | The proof | BACK THE FUCK OFF | Secret Weapon | Take that Page DOWN NOW! | YouTube Finale | A CWC Audition | Chris Calls Clyde Out | Sign destruction video | Clyde Cash the kid video | Challenge for Clyde | Challenge for Clyde II | Chris loses it | War paint video | Response to Gregg | To Clyde Gregg | ClydeGoingOnGregg1 | Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!! | Clyde is Weaker than Water | Getting Foam Ed | I AM STRONG | Twin Falling Towers | It will never end | Apology for doing WTC | No More Jokes | To Clyde and Jack | Don't Mess With Me | I am Clyde Cash | Chris has no creativity | Chris "executes" Clyde

Other trolls: We're Being Watched | Naïve YouTubers | A near public apology | Rollin' and Trollin' | CWC Trollin More | It's UGH! | Chris humps his PS3 | THAT IS MY HOUSE | Forgiveness Blessings | Curse the Trolls | Ultimatum for Vivian | Chris dispels videogame rumors | To Clyde and Jack | Multiple challenge | Asperchu fury | Surfshack Tito | A message to the Trolls | Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! | Chris Drops the N-Bomb | I Pimp My Ride | Chris tells the trolls | Sonichu copyrights | Stardate, August 27, 2010 | ItIsFinished | Anti Troll Movement Video1 | Don't make the Grimace sad | I am Alec Benson Leary | Calling Out videos | Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada

Lady Managers: Doxing Jeff/Francine | Thank You, Jeff, and I accept your apology. | Update 1/17/2016 | Jeff is Beyond Denounced.

Idea Guys: Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World! | Cherokean Chant | Smashing | Get Out, You D*** Nazis! | Tour of Chris's House III | Chris apologizes to Gwen | Chris slaps himself | Dick Licker; that is I. | One-Hundred! | Chris pleads to stop Cryzel Torture‎ | All Star | Chris lost Crystal | I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms