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Jack Thaddeus

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Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Networks accounts, you expert hacker! You, you ir—rational expert! Motherfucking burning-in-Hell hacker!
 

 

—Chris on Jack[1]

Trolls
Ahuvia.png
"Ahuviya Rotem Harel"
Birth name Phillip V. Haskins-Delici
Alias Jack Thaddeus
JThadius, JThadeus
Felipe Delicias
David Crass
ADF
Date of Birth 12 August 1985
Residence Philadelphia, PA, USA
Gender Male
Transwoman
Nationality American
Race White

Jack Thaddeus (born 12 August 1985) is a troll responsible for various PSN-related trollings with Chris. He is also a TRUE and HONEST homo.[2] In August 2011, Chris supposedly "outed" him as being none other than Internet lolcow Ahuviya Rotem Harel ("ADF"), a noted cosplayer, JEW, communist, and "Aspergian".

PSN hax

Jack had a sweeping victory in the seizure of multiple Chris PSN accounts, using them to blackmail Chris into dry-humping his PS3 and singing "OK2BGay". Unimpressed by Chris's performance, he deleted them for the good of mankind, but not before they were archived.

Jack worked with his daughter Samantha Thaddeus in order to break into Chandler's PSN accounts and possibly bring about the beginning of the Liquid Chris Saga.[3]

CWCipedia advertisements

Jack's ads

In November 2009, Jack purchased advertising space on the CWCipedia. One banner ad linked to a gay rights website (noting that the creator and hero of Family Guy both support gay rights, and using the hated word "naïve"), while another advertised Mexican vacations using an anthropomorphic cactus mascot.

Chris was incensed by the desecration of his wiki and demanded that the ads be removed. Upon being told that Thaddeus was responsible, Chris declared "I'll deal with him myself." Whatever measures he took, though, they didn't do much good, because the original ads were soon joined by many new banners featuring pickles, homos, and other things Chris hates and fears. These ads would have stayed for a long time since Jack, a gentle and generous soul, rented all the ads-space up to the end of 2010.

Jack eventually leased some of the adspace to Mao, the webmaster of the Asperpedia. On 25 February 2010, this lease apparently concluded, and Jack filled the website with dicks.

Eventually, on 18 March 2010, Jack pulled all his funding from the site, forcing the Sysop to take the site down. It came back the next day under the rule of Mao.

In the comics

This is what Chris actually believes.

Jack made his first full appearance in Sonichu #10 as the 4-cent_garbage building is collapsing. When Jason Kendrick Howell escapes, he condemns him and Clyde Cash for being homo trolls. When Beel escapes, he, too, condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack hold hands and together jump into the 66+6 story elevator shaft to their suicide.

Called out

Separated at birth?

On 16 August 2011 Chris claimed to have dox on Jack, and claimed that his real name was Ahuviya, that he lived in Pennsylvania, and that Jack is planning to have gender reassignment surgery. He demanded a video of apology to be uploaded by Jack/Ahuviya by 10 September 2011. The "Ahuviya" Chris is referring to is none other than Ahuviya Rotem Harel, a lolcow almost as big as Chris himself.[4][5] This information is unsurprisingly fabricated, as, for one, Jack and Ahuviya's voices have only scant similarities. Regardless, Ahuviya and Chris, despite the animosity between the two, share many of the same traits and characteristics.[6][7]

A week later, he revealed that "Jack" was a communist and into BDSM. It was at this point that Ahuviya responded to him, denouncing all the fake information Chris presented alongside his own lolcow-ness. Chris, still firmly believing the rumors, made another video with his usual homophobia.

See also

Sources

  1. Chris humps his PS3
  2. Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3
  3. The Mysterious Man at Otakon
  4. Why Philadelphia is so much Greater than CWCville
  5. Advice for Chris-chan from Ahuviya Harel
  6. ADF and CWC
  7. Ahuviya Harel at Encyclopedia Dramatica

External links

Trolls of the Patriots

The Miscreants

Villains: Jason Kendrick Howell | Man in the Pickle Suit | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Surfshack Tito

Acquaintances: Sarah Jackson | Robert Simmons V | Sarah May | Emily

Famous People: Jimmy Hill | Takashi Tezuka | Jay Z | Shigeru Miyamoto | Reggie Fils-Aimé

Game Place: Lucas | Mimms