Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)
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The Idea Guys were here.
Chris was brainwashed into believing that by drawing himself buttfucking Sonichu, then Sonichu will become pregnant with Crystal at some point.
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| “ | As for where I see myself, I am uncertain career-wise, but I HAVE A DREAM! And that dream is to find the woman to make my Sweetheart from honest, true friendship, make her my wife, and from us, have a daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler. I've had a number of dreams where I take care of and tend to the needs of my baby, Crystal. And from all those dreams, I knew they were God's wishes for my future. | ” |
| Chris, presuming to know the wishes of GodBear[1] | ||
Around the age of 21, Chris had multiple dreams in which God and Jesus told him to find a sweetheart to build from the ground-up to have his daughter Crystal, named "after the illustrious metal",[2] according to him. In a custom My Little Pony trading card, Chris depicts Crystal as a pony who traveled back in time to help her father – Chris – find a boyfriend-free girl. This is completely ripped off from Chibiusa's entire premise in Sailor Moon.
Crystal and the Love Quest
Finding a woman who would birth Crystal has been a fairly consistent justification for Chris's Love Quest. At times he has seemed to be more honest in wanting a girlfriend so he can get laid or prove he's straight. For example, when Julie expressed a desire to have a child, possibly with Chris, he was ambivalent, and seemed more interested in a threesome between Panda, Julie and himself.[3] Yet with new heartthrob Ivy, his fantasy of making a family was strong, and Chris was upset when Ivy said she didn't like the name Crystal, and demanded a say in their daughter's name.[4]
Likewise, in a dialogue with potential sweetheart Kacey's dad, Chris revealed that he had a "prophetic" dream about Crystal when he was between the ages of seven and nine. He reiterated this later in the conversation, saying he was "definitely in elementary school", when he dreamed about giving birth to a daughter (in the dream he had an office job, which also won't happen). "Give birth" slipped out, as in Chris would like to gestate a human female infant within his body (or perhaps in a box) and somehow deliver her into the world. While it's most likely that Chris just fucked up while talking due to stress and autism, this could also be a Freudian slip suggesting that Chris has some gender identity issues, which typically begin in childhood. It's also somewhat possible that he doesn't know that the mother is the only one who gives birth, seeing how he uses it in other contexts.
After Kacey, Jackie was next in line as the vessel for which Chris' gift from God was to be bestowed. Crystal was featured in Lego form in the PlayingHouse video. Despite only being in preschool, she's advanced enough to keep a diary and look after her baby brother Reginald.
The influence of the Idea Guys
In December 2017, Chris was brainwashed by the Idea Guys over how Crystal would be born. Role-playing as Magi-Chan to Chris, an Idea Guy explained that the male Sonichu would become pregnant with Crystal after being impregnated by Chris through buttsex, and that by drawing it happening, Chris wouldn't have to do nasty anal himself.[5] Chris actually believed this, and produced the drawing to appease them, even though his comic book counterpart allegedly does not have a penis post-transition. Suffice it to say, nothing ever came of this.
Chris lost Crystal, an undated, leaked video from the Idea Guys saga (although it's mostly due to the influence of the Teen Troon Squad), shows Chris yelling at a toilet, demanding to know what happened to his "baby". No context has been provided for the video, aside from some associated text provided by the Squad confirming that Crystal was the baby that Chris was screaming about, and not Reginald. However, it's possible that the drawn incident with Chris rawdogging Sonichu may have resulted in Crystal existing (at least in his mind) before disappearing from this world.
Crystal apparently wrote a future message delivered by her brother Reginald (actually a troll playing along with Chris's delusions). The message itself describes Chris's goals of becoming a parent and warns people to make adjustments to their lives ahead of the coming Dimensional Merge.
Like with much of the Idea Guys' lore, Chris maintained belief in the Crystal birth prophecy long after their ousting. In November 2019, he mentioned it on Twitter:
| It has been written that the father to me becoming the mother of the future Crystal Weston Chandler Sonichu, is none other than Sonichu (Prime), Himself; my Son. I am not dumb, stupid or blind to what is false from others; my abilities and mentality have improved greatly over the past months and years.[6] |
Name
Her name is identical to that of Chris's sister from the comics, leading to some confusion.
It is unclear which spelling he was projecting for his future daughter (although he used "Crystal" in a Facebook message[7] and the infamous "Story of My Current Days"[8]). In the comics he spells his stupid fake sister's name "Crystal" consistently, although somebody called "Crystle" appears in the Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway.
In a 2019 survey he referred to Crystal as Crystal Weston Chandler Rosechu.
References
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