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Chris and religion
—Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! (Facebook)
The religion of Christian Weston Chandler is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often starkly differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.
That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naïve hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he long espoused his religion's teachings condemning homosexuality yet ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, pornography, and gluttony. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that PandaHalo had been raped and impregnated by Clyde Cash: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.
Chris's narrow view of the world requires that Sonichu and Rosechu share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father, creating yet another tier on this wedding cake of theological contradictions.
Irrespective of his religion, Chris believes he has received multiple visions from God.
- 1 Denomination
- 2 Concept of God (or: GodJesus)
- 3 Afterlife
- 4 Concept of sin
- 5 Chris and forgiveness
- 6 Chris the Shaman
- 7 Delusions of Godhood?
- 8 Chris and other faiths
- 9 References
- 10 See also
- 11 External links
—Romans 1:28-32, on Chris
The first church Chris and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County. Chris would later on attend Grace Baptist Church, a small congregation in Charlottesville that launched in 2000. In 2008 he was, under mysterious circumstances, forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church. Although Chris identifies himself as Methodist and so did his father, his mother identifies herself as a Presbyterian.
"Wesley Mem" is located near the University of Virginia and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among trolls is that congregations more in line with Chris's intolerance of homos are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the Southern Baptist and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not spiritually identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant, or even simply Christian.
Concept of God (or: GodJesus)
Traditionally, Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent male God. He also accepted Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He was reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God (despite other Abrahamic sects using completely different words for Him). In effect, Chris frequently referred to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus") as if they were some sort of Binity, unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the Trinity, which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Essence.
Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of an instrument of his own will than a supreme being to Whom he is subject. In Chris's view of God, the Almighty will overlook (or simply not care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they malign Chris. Case in point, the fact that Chris cheated in the PaRappa the Rapper contest is not nearly as important as the suspicion that Adam Stackhouse did, and Chris invoked God numerous times in his threats to Adam.
Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He has been commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...". He often invokes the wrath of God in his infantile threats, and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.
Much like the Ayatollah Khomeini, Chris attributes most of his impetus to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in visions. “I'd say my spirit is active while I am awake, but it does more when I am at rest or sleeping,” he wrote in 2014. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a daughter, he decided he was required to actively make that happen while also assuring himself that failure was impossible. When Chris was being accused of racism for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that his prophesied daughter must be white.
Visions from God supposedly confirmed that Blanca Weiss, then PandaHalo and finally Ivy were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be trolls. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a laugh at his expense, an idea which Chris may have later taken to heart.
Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so out of true remorse and to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made a video in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that." One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.
In recent years, Chris appears to have become somewhat disenchanted with God. Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read any time soon. Despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his Love Quest, God has nevertheless imparted upon him such stress and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it. Since Chris hasn't gotten exactly what he has prayed for, the fault must lie with God. In a farewell letter meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial, he wrote that "God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx."
|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!|
| Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).
I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.
But I prattle or digress.
So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)
Soon thereafter, inspired by Futurama, he seemed to divorce himself from a Christian conception of God altogether, choosing to believe in a rather capricious, relativistic deity:
—Chris on Facebook, August 2014.
In August 2016, Chris revealed that he thinks of God as a Goddess. It seems to be another result of his gender issues, in which he considers women to be good and men to be evil, and since Chris does not want to think of himself or God as evil, he simply swapped the genders in his mind, making Tomgirl Christine and Goddess Emmanuelle.
—Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.
While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to Heaven and bad deeds sending them to Hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into Heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based (as opposed to Catholicism, where one's fate in the afterlife is additionally determined by good works, repentance, and the sacraments).
Absurdly, Chris has stated that one goes to Heaven or Hell based completely on personal actions - which is outwardly Catholic theology, not Protestant. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "a lot of good deeds". Likewise, he feels that homos are almost certainly bound to go to Hell, and need to become heterosexuals to "better their chances of going to Heaven". He has also stated numerous times that he feels various trolls are bound for Hell for making fun of people over the Internet. He has suggested that they commit suicide so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.
Additionally, Chris has said that he's open to the idea of reincarnation, common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions. In 2009 he stated flatly that he believed in the concept, but in 2014 he seemed more uncertain, writing “It is possible, but I'm not sure.”. He has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris has nothing to do with them and seems to have lifted the notion from somewhere else.
Further complicating Chris's ideas of the afterlife, he believes in ghosts, going so far as to claim that he might have seen one.
In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo." In reality, Limbo is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. Christian views on suicide and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.
His belief that suicide leads one to Limbo may stem from the South Park episode "Death", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.
In the eulogy Chris made for Patti, he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]." This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.
Concept of sin
—Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44
—Chris, Sonichu Girls Forum
—E-mail from Chris to Vivian
Other than vehemently opposing homos, trolls and jerkops, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to Hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.
Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from Family Guy. His aversion to "spilling his seed" and his dedication to the unborn have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.
When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with Vanessa Hudgens in violation of his monogamous relationship with Ivy, Chris made a big production out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.
Chris and forgiveness
A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has no idea of what forgiveness really is, and will often hold grudges against anybody he feels has wronged him, sometimes even for years. While some may argue that he did show forgiveness in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an ulterior motive or is meaningless as he goes on to curse and scream at them later on.
During his trial on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made an honorable plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris scaring his customers away, (while he was still allowed in the store), shouting racist slurs at him, threatening to set fire to his business, and injuring him with his car. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris's show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit public slander in a court of law:
—Chris, This is how the Trial went
Long story short, Chris does not forgive, nor does he forget.
Chris the Shaman
—Chris, Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke
—Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", Mailbag 23
—Chris on using the spirits of the dead
Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the Universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the Clown Doll, for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through sympathetic magic, like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in Soul Calibur III as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.
The world of CWCville is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. The idea of this spirit realm became more valid when, in a video, Chris claimed that the soul of his dead dog (now living in CWCville) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his dreams.
While Chris has used the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on Liquid Chris in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the Forgiveness Blessings skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of ZA POWER. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. Galatians 5:19-20 lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, Exodus 22:18 commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his phone calls with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.
Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most, if not all, groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers beyond his comprehension – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups just to get sex, without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an egotistical, sexist, racist, failure.
Delusions of Godhood?
—Sonichu, Sonichu #10
—Aspie Sonichu, Sonichu #10
Starting on page 42 of issue #10, Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. Ultra Sonichu frees Zelina Rosechu from her stony state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to Darkbind Sonichu with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).
Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of Asperchu, where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their Asperger syndrome (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.
Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, Sonichu says this.
Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in later pages Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon Chaotic Combo worshipping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against [Chris]", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the Ten Commandments, like he's God or something. In addition, only five pages later Angelica condemns those who prefer Alec's artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".
Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the Mailbag, where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over one billion fans. The only other character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad mentality is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a God's bear. Chris moves in mysterious ways.
In his e-mails to Reggie Fils-Aimé he seems to call himself Jesus: "You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save." However, this could also be a malapropism for "Word of God."
Chris and other faiths
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an IRC chat, he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.
Other Christian denominations
Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, Angelica Rosechu, whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of her species. Through Angelica, it is obvious that Chris knows almost nothing about Catholicism and seems to think it's just a variety of Protestantism with nuns - he refers to Catholic priests as "pastors" and almost certainly doesn't know the Catholic Bible is different from the one generally used by Protestants. Also, Angelica's home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with. He does, at least, realise that Catholicism is a form of Christianity, which is more than can be said for some.
PandaHalo's persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so (ironically, Catholicism preaches deference on moral issues to one's priest while Protestantism does not). It didn't even occur to Chris that what his pastor said to him wouldn't apply to a Catholic, because Chris is incapable of seeing things from perspectives besides his own.
Chris has described "Mormans" [sic] as not being datable. He has never explained why, but he may have learned through Anna McLerran that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much Chris knows about Unitarianism (likely not a lot), he is not hostile toward that sect; Jackie identified herself as a Unitarian, and Chris was not bothered by this (conceivably because he didn't know what it was).
Given that he takes his own religion à la carte, Chris is likely unaware of most of the differences between the sects of Protestantism, and, indeed, the differences between Protestantism and Catholicism. He has never been pressed for comment on Eastern variants of Christianity, such as the Eastern Orthodox church, and it is uncertain what he thinks of these sects, or if he's even aware of their existence.
See also: Chris and race
"A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story, and Sonichu 11" reveal that Chris has a somewhat basic awareness of Judaism, probably picked up from watching South Park. He appears to not understand that Jews and Buddhists don't celebrate Christmas, at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, Jews and Buddhists go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean, Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from South Park). Some Favored Comedians is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like Jerry Seinfeld.
In a CWCipedia article, he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian". In all likelihood he knows nothing about Islam or the Quran, and is not known to have ever commented on the religion directly.
On 28 December 2009, Chris wrote a blog entry telling Jack Thaddeus to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology". Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it. His opinion of it has probably been culled from South Park.
Out of all of these sections, Chris's opinion of irreligious people, and atheists in particular, is the most vacillating and incoherent, and also coincidentally one of the best documented.
Unsurprisingly, he doesn't seem to like or trust atheists, but even there, he has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus." Even from an evangelical point of view, it's hard enough for atheists to try and take GodJesus seriously enough to believe in them without Chris going around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by Thorg in Common Questions 9 Jan 2010, his response was:
While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. This shows that Chris simply doesn't comprehend non-belief in religion, as of course an atheist would not be cowed by the threat of something they by definition don't believe exists. In the OkCupid answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, The Wallflower told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion, which would most likely classify her as either an atheist, a deist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and continued to pursue her. However, in his later, revised OkCupid account, he states (to the surprise of nobody) that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some hanky panky.
In another sudden turn, in his Calling Out videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as Thorg's defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a strawman-using fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.
When Chris exposed Thorg, his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.
- IRC (21 January 2009)
- Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible; Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)
- Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker
- Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions
- CWC Update 9 April 2009
- List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing
- Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"
- August 2014 Facebook Posts#tl;dr
- Mailbag 30#Questions
- Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor
- List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing
- List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing
- October 2013 Facebook Posts
- Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006
- Issue 10, page 66
- Common Questions
- Reggie Fils-Aimé
- MySpace messages
- Jackie E-mails
- In fact, in one chat Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich [sic] Church".
- Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)
- CWC Blog
- Mailbag 52
- Vivitheg's AIM chat
- Vivitheg's AIM chat
- Wallflower E-mails
- Cole Smithey E-mails
- Angelica Rosechu
- Grace Baptist Church
- Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church
|The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate|
VIII. ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present:
XIII. Pornstars: Bailey Jay
|The List Of Males Chris Does Hate|
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