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Wild Sonichu

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Sonichu character
Wild.jpg
Wild Sonichu
Date of birth 2 February 1989 (in universe)

No later than 17 August 2004 (IRL)[1]

Gender Male
Length 4'7"[2] (122 cm)
Weight 120 lbs (54 kg)
Parents Scyther (adoptive father), Venusaur (adoptive mother)
Education CWCville University (Dating Education)[3]
Species Sonichu (Electric Hedgehog Pokémon)
Type Electric/Grass
Evolves from Sonee (with Leaf Stone)
Evolves into N/A

Wild Sonichu is a Sonichu and supposed leader of the Chaotic Combo (although he still answers to Chris in any of his Mary Sue incarnations) who formed from eggs released by the rainbow as a result of the collision between Super Sonic the Hedgehog and a Pikachu. Like all of Chris's male characters, he is essentially a bland puppet whose strings are usually limp except for when Chris wants to project his masculine fantasies onto him.

He is a Grass/Electric type, and a combination of several characters:

  • Sonic the Hedgehog
  • Pikachu
  • Treecko (tail)
  • Spider-Man (swings from vines that retract from his arms and sticks to walls)
  • Espio the Chameleon (turns invisible, sticks to walls; both are on teams whose names are derivative of the word "chaos")
  • Tails (he can use his tail as a propeller like Tails, although this power is not seen anywhere in the comics)

Major Comic Appearances

Sonichu Babies

After being hatched, Wild is adopted by a Scyther and a Venusaur. Growing up in his Sonee form, he learns to use Vine Whip and Razor Leaf attacks like other Grass-type Pokémon. Somehow, his adopted father manages to teach him valuable skills by repeating the same thing over and over. He eventually evolves into a green likeness of Sonichu with a "leafy tail" that looks like a beaver tail. Said tail is claimed to be usable as a propeller, but this has yet to be used. Probably the least enigmatic Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, which is quite a feat given Chris's tendency to provide no back-story for characters unless and until he has to.

When Hedgehogs Meet

While swinging from vines, he is hit by Blake who is trying to steal the Legendary Master Sunstone on a hover board. He then teams up with the rest of the Chaotic Combo for the first time and they attempt to beat Blake to death for accidentally slighting them.

Smashed Hearts & Entrapment

Wild and the Chaotic Combo are teleported to help fight Mary Lee Walsh, but fail to save Crystal from being trapped in the Dark Mirror Hole. Naturally, they forget all about her (along with Chris) which frees up time for more relationship "drama" (in as much as Chris projecting his awful fantasies is dramatic) and horrible sex.

Evil is Afoot

Wild becomes jealous when Bubbles and Angelica talk about how cool Bionic the Hedgehog is. He says he would get all the girls if he wasn’t kicked off the team for illegal vine defense. This implies Wild is both a cheating liar and too stupid to understand basketball.

Rage Against the Garbage

Wild, Sonichu, and Rosechu are teleported to the 4-cent_garbage.com Building to find a Sonichu Ball and confront the evil Jason Kendrick Howell. Before entering the building, Wild laments (apropos of nothing) about how his "father" Scyther was captured by poachers. Interestingly enough, Wild never actually bothered to look for his "father" after he saw the "passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes". Wild proceeds to immediately switch topics, turn invisible and sneak into the world's least secure building. He eventually recovers one of the Sonichu Balls.

Episode 18 Prologue

Here we see the Chaotic Combo celebrating their 19th birthday on 2 February 2008. This is a ham-handed attempt to make Chris look like less of a pedofork. Almost nothing happens.

Spring Break

Wild informs Punchy that his taste in women, namely Angelica, sucks balls. Somehow Punchy is not offended, merely puzzled, and proceeds to plan out his rape. Other than setting up a very flimsy premise for Sonichu 9, Wild has no purpose in this comic, retarding him further as a character.

Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)

In the Dating Ed episode, Wild attends the class alongside Punchy, making it apparent that nearly every main character is a desperate loser. He is paired with Simonla by their teacher.

Of course, mere moments after meeting face to face, the two are hopelessly in love. In an attempt to simulate an actual romantic moment, Chris rips off Spider-Man by having Wild swing through the city with Simonla in his arms. After this one outing, Wild takes her home to his "vibrating bed" then Simonla shows him the blueprints of her home for no adequately explained reason.

Christian Chandler in Director Amenities

Wild Sonichu: Father of the Year.

After helping free Chris from the Time Void, Wild mostly takes a low-key role in this issue until the waning pages of episode 21. Shortly after it is revealed that Wild and Simonla have conceived an egg together, Simonla is killed by a Voltorb planted in the ladies' room by Alec. Shortly after the announcement of Simonla's death, the egg hatches. Wild names his new daughter Sandy and raises her as a single father, Kramer vs. Kramer-style (Simonla will be portrayed in the film version by Meryl Streep). The comic ends with a jury consisting of the now-grown Sandy and Wild sentencing Simonla's murderers to death. The father and daughter then personally cooperate to execute Evan in the bloodiest manner possible.

Outside the comics

In a video uploaded 13 September 2009, Chris reveals that Wild Sonichu's adoptive Scyther father was in fact kidnapped "a long time ago". Chris goes on to reveal that Wild has to go and find him during the events of Sonichu Adventure. He later on told Jackie a proposed backstory for Wild: "Wild Sonichu's story is of after he loses his father to some Pok'emon poachers (possibly of Team Rocket and Giovanni), and years later, he hears the call of his father from afar, and he sets forward to find and rescue him. The ending being he finds his Scyther father evolved to a Scizor, and it draws into a plot similar to that in Star Wars between Luke and Vader."[4]

On 24 May 2014, Chris revealed on Facebook that he has revived Simonla. As can be seen in the previous wikilink, earlier on that day Chris uploaded to Facebook a photo album featuring Simonla, with Wild being seen with her in some of the photos and even yiffing her in one.

Gallery

References

  1. Chris created a Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Card of Wild on 17 August 2004. It can therefore be inferred that Wild was not created at any point later than this date.
  2. Wild Sonichu on CWCipedia.
  3. See the events of Episode 19
  4. Jackie_E-mails
CWCipedia logo.png
For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Wild Sonichu


The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate

I. Chris II. Bob Chandler III. Santa Clause IV. God V. Jesus

VI. The President of the U.S.: George W. BushBarack Obama

VII. All the World Leaders: Mahmoud AhmadinejadKim Jong-unManuel Noriega

VIII. ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present:
Cole SmitheyDr. David Alan ChandlerJonathan CareyUncle Raymond
Joseph HerringJoshua MartinezMimmsLucasRobert Simmons VWilliam Elliott Waterman

IX. Celebrities: Jack BlackRed SkeltonDick Van DykeBob NewhartTim AllenJerry SeinfeldBrad GarrettLarry the Cable GuyPeter Cullen

X. Robots: Optimus PrimeMegatron

XI. Electric Hedgehog Pokémon: SonichuWild SonichuPunchy SonichuMagi-ChanBlakeDJ JamstaBlazeBob SonichuMitch SonichuDarkbind SonichuMetonic

XII. Hedgehogs: Sonic the HedgehogBionic the Hedgehog

XIII. Pornstars: Bailey Jay

The List Of Males Chris Does Hate

JERKS