|“||Those who are unable to, teach.||”|
|Chris, Mumble 4|
Dating Education is Chris's term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date. As with "Sex Ed," Chris abbreviates dating education to "Date Ed," and frequently makes use of the (alleged) joke that the idea of "Date Ed" sounds "Dated." The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that an appropriately qualified therapist can teach him the social skills he desires.
Reading the Dating education comic and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience as it is a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about Chris and his mindset.
In Real Life
|“||As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.||”|
Had Chris not been sleeping or reading Goosebumps, he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to pound tom-toms, but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and the biology of the reproductive system. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on sexually transmitted diseases and contraception. Chris even suggested that Megan could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being violated in vivid Crayola color:
|“||The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.||”|
His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.
Consistent with both his autism and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have "Coping Skills" instruction in their special education curriculum, which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:
...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three inventions—right behind the Sonichu Universe and a Lego contraption for carrying Pokémon cards.
Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future
Chris's most fully-realized rationale for his pedagogical plan can be found in an essay he wrote on 11 May 2009 and later posted on the CWCipedia. Entitled "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future. The Solution: Dating Education," it was "originally written for a recent 2009 Community Support Contest sponsored by C-Ville's Battlefield Ford." Chris added, "too bad I did not win, but I'm not giving up on teaching our future generations the basics of Dating alongside Sexual Educaiton." The fact that Chris believes that his utterly retarded idea that all high schools in the United States, possibly the whole world, should teach their students how to talk to one another (something most shy people can fix with a counsellor or a psychologist), and should be graded on how they talk to dolls, how well they study a book written by a nine-year old and how well they score on an extremely awkward paper test, as well as the fact that these schools should go directly against American anti-discrimination laws and not let homos into a required subject, with Chris saying that "it will stop people from becoming gay, since gay people usually turn when they're lonely and in their 20's" speaks volumes on how Chris views dating, education and homosexuality. Here is the complete essay in all its glory:
I am one of a minority of people in the worldwide population; I am a Shy, Straight Caucasian Male who still struggles as an Adult Virgin. And I have dreams of sharing a family life with my Female Sweetheart, and to have and share between me and her our daughter named, Crystal Weston Chandler.
My shyness has belabored my dream from seeing birth. But mine is a mutual dream shared with every shy male in the world. Mine and their dreams could have been made individual realities sooner with a simple, great idea, DATING EDUCATION CLASSES.
We currently enforce, and have made required, Sexual Education classes in High Schools most everywhere. That is good for AFTER Date #3 or so, but the question remains, “How do we find, attract and talk to a single member of our individually respective Opposite Gender to even have a First Date Ever With?”
I would like to see Dating Education Classes required along with, before or shortly after, Sexual Education. I envision the teacher starting with the social basics, such as the simple greeting of “Hey, there. It’s a good day.” :) Even quoting the Alec Grevin and his little red book, “How to Talk to Girls”. Also, later in the semester, teaching empathetic social skills that can benefit both of the straight partners in each couple. I also envision classroom distribution/loaning of female Barbie Dolls for MEN to practice socializing on, and 8” GI-Joe Figures for WOMEN to practice socializing on as well. The Classmates could also be paired up, Male-for-Female/Female-for-Male, in Class Workshop(s). If there were any unpaired people of one gender in the class, volunteers of the opposite gender from within the school’s student roster can be brought in for them. There would be NO SAME-GENDER PAIRINGS, PERIOD.
It is a fact that individuals who were unable to find their opposite-gender Sweetheart or crushes and get lucky before adulthood are likely tempted to turn homo… A dismal future NO God-Loving Individual, including myself; I swear on my Holy Bible as I type this essay with every keystroke I make with my keyboard resting on my Bible, would ever want to see occur. :( The Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.
If my essay is selected, I would give the money to our local High Schools to begin the Long-Necessary and Required Dating Education Class Trend within these United States, and then Worldwide, for a Better, Bright Future for All.
- Main Article: Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)
Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is stupid but not insane. That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. However, any such notions will be destroyed in short order should you peruse Sonichu 9, specifically the episode containing DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed and a heaping helping of complete lunacy. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:
- Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate - in this class.
- The class was split perfectly: 50% male, 50% female.
- On the off chance that there were a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself wouldn't be paired up with anybody, because it would conflict with both regulations AND her current relationship. This puts a bullet in any remaining pretence of this class being simply to work on social skills.
- The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. Their names are Robert and Barbara.
- Everybody hooks up with a date, except for "Clyde Cwash", who only got a 65% in the class.
- DAT 303. DAT3 03. DATE 03.
|“||Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.||”|
Required Text: How to Talk to Girls by Alec Greven
Materials Provided: Robert and Barbara Dolls; iDate Software
- Staying cool under pressure
- Being friends first and letting the relationship grow organically
- The etiquette of romance: asking before touching or kissing
- Students are paired up by the teacher over the Internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person.
- Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with their dolls.
**FOR ALL Sonichu & Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.
**This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.
1. Aprroach the boy
2. Get the name
3. Find out more, get his interest
4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested
5. Give interest/compliments back
6. Get more intimate details
7. Food is a conversation foundation
8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art, music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets shy or stumped.
9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store is always a good choice.
10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.
**Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.