|“||I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.||”|
|Chris makes the understatement of the century|
A saga (from the Old Norse sögur) is an overall story arc of events. CWChronologists use the term to describe an on-going trolling effort or other similar series of events that produces considerable drama over a period of time. Sagas might unfold over a period of anywhere from a few weeks to several years in length. Upon his online discovery in late 2007, Chris was found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment. As a result, he has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or another ever since. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time, or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with the Miyamoto Saga and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period, as royal dynasties are used to divide national histories into epochs, yet Chris would describe his Love Quest as a saga on the cover of Sonichu 4 in 2005, well before he became publicly known.
- 1 Meta-sagas
- 2 Pre-Christory (24 February 1982 - June 2000)
- 3 Early Adult Chronicles (June 2000 – 27 October 2007)
- 4 Classic Chris Era (27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010)
- 4.1 ED Saga (November 2007 - 14 April 2011)
- 4.2 Blanca Saga (August - 21 October 2008)
- 4.3 The GAMe PLACe Saga (August 2008 - June 2014)
- 4.4 Jimmy Hill Saga (mid/late 2008)
- 4.5 Clyde Cash Saga (December 2008 - mid-2010)
- 4.6 PandaHalo Saga (mid/late 2008 - February 2009)
- 4.7 Miyamoto Saga (January - 10 February 2009)
- 4.8 Julie Saga (February - March 2009)
- 4.9 Ivy Saga (March - July 2009)
- 4.10 Vanessa Saga (April - May 2009)
- 4.11 CWCipedia Saga (4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010)
- 4.12 Liquid Chris Saga (21 June - 10 November 2009)
- 4.13 Asperchu Saga (November 2009 - 10 January 2012)
- 4.14 Surfshack Tito Saga (2 March 2010 - 10 August 2011)
- 5 Dark Ages (20 March 2010 to 3 September 2014)
- 6 Renaissance (3 September 2014 to 24 October 2017)
- 6.1 Catherine Saga (9 July - 14 December 2014)
- 6.2 Sonic Boom Saga (3 September 2014 - 7 December 2015)
- 6.3 Lady Managers Saga (17 November 2015 - July 2016)
- 6.4 Pmurt Saga (25 September 2016 - 20 January 2017)
- 6.5 Doopie Saga (7 March - 26 September 2017)
- 6.6 Quinn Saga (7 September - 5 October 2017)
- 7 Transcendental Awakening (August 2017 to present)
- 8 The Future
- 9 See also
- 10 References
For nearly two decades, Chris has been going through one tumult or another. However, throughout each of these, Chris has had a special interest or obsession that would follow him through all of them, and would define him as a person. Indeed, this central focus of his life would serve to unite his sagas with a common theme: a near-certain way to get a reaction out of Chris would be by winning his trust through feeding his special interest, and then exploiting it for Laughs Under Lucricities. For most of Christory, this would be pretending to be a boyfriend-free girl, but more recently this has transmuted into feigning to worship him. As they are threads running through and linking together, and are the broadest strokes of Chris's life, they can be considered meta-sagas, beyond and more fundamental than the fleeting fancies of any individual troll.
Love Quest (ca. 2003 - March 2018)
- Main article: Love Quest
The quintessential saga, and the one that introduced this word to the Christorian's lexicon. Sometime early in his career at PVCC, Chris decided that he needed a girlfriend to call his own. Beset on all sides by the Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor (read: women were repulsed by his unusual mannerisms), the virgin with rage resorted to increasingly desperate and bizarre methods of obtaining one, which have seen him expelled and banned from multiple reputable establishments. After his discovery by the Internet, Chris would flutter from one professed girlfriend to another, thinking that each might be the heartsweet that might end this search once and for all. Alas, it was not meant to be, and Chris often found himself betrayed and humiliated in comical and grotesque ways. The Love Quest survived several upheavals in Chris's life, including his father's death, the loss of his virginity, his house's destruction and his gender transition (see below), yet despite Christorians' predictions, and the Pickle Man's injunctions, finally concluded in March 2018, when a mentally eroded Chris declared himself in a polyamorous marriage with his fictional characters.
Transgender Saga (30 March 2011 - Present)
- Main article: Transgender
In 2011, Chris began the process of gender transitioning. In March of that year, he starting cross-dressing and later came out as a "tomgirl". Despite resistance from his parents, Chris continued down the transgender path, exploring his gender identity. In 2014, he briefly identified as a lesbian male, and a year later, settled on identifying as a lesbian transwoman.
Business Saga (3 July 2014 - 8 June 2016; June 2017 - Present)
Although this Saga began during the Sonic Boom Saga, it ultimately outlasted it. Chris realized during this Saga that he could make significantly large amounts of money by selling his own products, including Medallions and customized Sonichu Amiibos, first on eBay, then on Etsy. This Saga is notable for featuring the return of frequent video uploads by Chris. Inevitably, Chris's laziness got the better of him (again) and he failed to ship out multiple orders. As his interest in making money dwindled, the Financhu Crisis began to strain the Chandler finances. Chris failed to get his act together, resulting in him getting banned from selling on Etsy on 8 June 2016, halting the Saga. There were a few recurrences where Chris attempted to profit from his own products again, but these were expectedly fruitless and short-lived. In May 2017, Chris began drawing Sonichu #11 pages again after a 561-day hiatus, and in June, he resumed monetizing Sonichu comics, by setting pages as rewards on his Patreon account and again offering printed books from Lulu.
On 2 January 2018, Chris became aware of Twitter artist Bryanfrogboy's, fan art of his Sonichu comics along with his upcoming prequel comic. Bryan then soon claimed that he would make merchandise off of the francise, to which Chris approved. Through 2018 and 2019, Chris has grown neglectful of his commercial obligations, failing to produce Sonichu pages and ship items, culminating in his restriction from eBay on 16 June 2019.
On 16 August, 2019, Chris began to create trading cards for his Sonichu comics, much like his Wall of Originals using a template from the My Little Pony parody game Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder. His most ambitious project in several years, Chris fully embraced the concept, and has seemingly supplanted the Sonichu comics in favour of the cards as his principal monetary venture.
Financhu Crisis Saga (12 April 2016 - Present)
- Main article: Financhu Crisis
Coined by the members of the Kiwi Farms, this saga began when Chris released a video asking for donations in exchange for gifts. Then, he cut out the gifts, and when his Etsy shop was closed, resorted to straight begging, prostitution, and video requests; all while continuing to buy over $1,000 worth of toys and only selling THREE POKÉMON CARDS at this saga's beginning, and putting various worthless junk on eBay for exorbitant prices. Chris was eventually able to sell the Sonic totem for $1500 only to immediately admit to wasting the profits on toys and a $400 gold necklace to replace one Barb previously pawned; a selfish act that shows the full extent of Chris and Barb's financial incompetency. His begging also goes to the point of asking on Facebook for someone to pay his mortgage. This also shows Chris's ego, since he treats his monetary problems that he caused as a charity.
In June 2017, Chris began to take his Patreon more seriously by actually working on the Sonichu comic; as a result, his Patreon earnings skyrocketed to hundreds of dollars per month and mitigated his desire to beg for money. As a result, Chris stopped begging in July. However, he remained deeply in debt and showed no signs of developing greater financial responsibility.
In late 2017 and early 2018 work on Sonichu slowed, as did Chris's Patreon donations. Around this time, Chris later claimed, he had to cover an unknown but essential large expenditure which he refuses to discuss in detail. As a result, Chris resumed begging and selling items on eBay with greater intensity than ever, peaking in early May when he made a trilogy of panicked videos revealing that a mortgage payment on 14 Branchland Court was due soon and that the unknown expenditure had left him and Barb unable to cover it. Though Chris was saved by an influx of donations and eBay sales, the Chandlers' financial situation evidently remains more desperate than ever.
Dimensional Merge (14 October 2018 - Present)
- Main article: Dimensional Merge
Due to the influence of the Idea Guys and Teen Troon Squad, ideas of a dimensional merge began to manifest within Chris. This came to a head in October 2018, when Chris uploaded a video where he announced that our dimension will soon merge with another. He has revised the deadline for this prophecy several times. This was followed by several months of him droning about it on Twitter, even during his Soft Exile (described below). Various weens, including Sarah and Steve, would circumvent new Twitter restrictions through physical mail or other channels, seeking to encourage him further; in April 2019 things went to a new level when a video was posted of a masked man reading a letter supposedly from a time-traveling Reginald Chandler announcing the merge.
Pre-Christory (24 February 1982 - June 2000)
The world at large discovered Christian Weston Chandler on 27 October 2007. Before this time, we have only a scanty record to the details of Chris's life. For the early Noughties, the earlier Sonichu comics (especially Sonichu 4) are a substantial, if biased, record of notable events; Chris has supplemented this with several other records, including his diary, and some videos (as his 2004 Christmas) have been leaked. For the twentieth century, which includes all of Chris's childhood and high school years, our records are much sparser. Some content, such as some school papers and television footage, have been unearthed, though much remains unknown or dubious. Indeed, much of our knowledge of Chris's childhood comes from later accounts by Chris. However, Chris's childhood is what made him the manchild he is today, so we must discuss it when discussing him.
Proto-exile (August 1983 - 1989)
When Chris was eighteen months old, an abusive babysitter named Roach (or Roche) locked Chris in a room filled with nothing but toys. This was allegedly the event that led to Chris's autism, though actual scientific evidence points to it being an inborn disorder. Some accounts describe the room as a closet, while others describe it as a playroom. In any case, the trauma turned young Christopher from talkative to mute. He wouldn't speak or vocalize again until the age of seven.
Greene County Conspiracy (1991-92)
Chris was allegedly abused at Nathanael Greene Elementary School by the principal and members of the staff. According to Chris, they pinned him down and recorded him screaming. His father then moved the family to Richmond and took legal action against the school district. The case was dropped in 1994. Chris claims that he had very uncomfortable experiences with one allegedly gay teacher at Nathanael Greene which Chris uses to justify his homophobia. Chris and his father also believed that the Greene County school system was not qualified to teach autistic children and Chris would spend his fifth grade being homeschooled by his parents in order to protect him from the perceived danger of the public school system. He and his family relocated to the Richmond area on the other side of the state, where he'd spend the remainder of his years as a minor.
Leonard Bearstein Saga (December 1992 – December 1993)
- Main article: Christopher's name change
On Christmas of '92, shortly after Chris's move to Richmond, he encountered a miracle. Up until this point, his full name had been Christopher Weston Chandler. Then, he saw an animatronic orchestra playing popular Christmas tunes at the local mall. The orchestra was headed by one Leonard Bearstein, a robotic bear controlled by an operator behind the scenes.
The bear would often interact with the kids, and when Chris told him his name was Christopher, the bear misheard him as saying Christian. Chris took it as a sign from God, while Bob believed it was the bear's British accent. In any case, Chris started going by Christian and had his name legally changed in court the next year. He wouldn't change it again until 2016.
High School Saga (August 1996-June 2000)
- Main article: Manchester High School
In many senses, Chris peaked in high school. He holds his high school memories and gal-pals dear to his heart. From a positive view, he had his gal pals, honor roll, and job as a
water boy basketball team manager, and he produced a high volume of art, which included Sonichu himself. On the flip side, he got an F in English and had to ride on the short bus. Graduation was especially painful when he didn't win a not-so-prestigious best artist award.
A lot went on during this time period, so consider reading the Manchester High School article for the fine details.
Early Adult Chronicles (June 2000 – 27 October 2007)
Records for this period, while scarcer than in modern times, are much more substantial than those of Chris's childhood. Even without external provocation or influence, the events of this period, including the original development of Sonichu and the Love Quest, were enough to make Chris an Internet legend, and would lay the foundation for everything yet to come.
PVCC/Attraction Sign Saga (September 2000 - May 2006)
From 2000 to 2006, Chris attended Piedmont Virginia Community College, a local community college, to obtain a degree in Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. It took him five years of schooling to complete an ostensibly two-year degree, and this time in his life was not without drama. His 21st birthday in 2003 marked the beginning of the Love Quest. Chris would go around campus carrying a sign showing his demands for an ideal partner. Mary Lee Walsh, a dean at PVCC, confiscated the signs. He retaliated by making more; he even printed some out to put around campus walls. Chris eventually confronted Walsh, who banned him from PVCC for a year. Chris had to receive a psychological evaluation to be allowed back on campus, and he began using the sign in other locations. Chris immortalized Walsh as a cartoon villain in Sonichu.
Megan Saga (Summer 2005 - April 2008)
- Main article: Megan Schroeder
From 2005 to 21 April 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with Encyclopedia Dramatica and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a Pokémon TCG League meeting at The GAMe PLACe, which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking hand-drawn pornography that was an embarrassment for all parties involved... excluding Chris. The saga would come to an end when Megan told Chris she could no longer trust him. Nonetheless, Chris has refused to let her ago, and his useless attempts at trying to make amends have stretched all the way to 2018 (for reference, that's a decade since Megan cut off ties from him).
Adam Stackhouse Saga (June - 4 August 2007)
In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart (more or less her china too), only to be beaten by a much superior entry made by one Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in madman-style threats and several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, trolls would control the content.
Classic Chris Era (27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010)
The mists of antiquity begin to fade on 27 October 2007, when an unrelated thread on the Something Awful forums was derailed by someone mentioning seeing our epic cycle's hero in the flesh.
ED Saga (November 2007 - 14 April 2011)
- Main article: Encyclopedia Dramatica
In November 2007, trolls would discover Chris and create a page about him on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Chris would initially think that they just got his information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, in the process destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how divinely retarded he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm, although the site has long since fallen out of relevance in Chris's life, replaced with outlets such as the Kiwi Farms.
Blanca Saga (August - 21 October 2008)
- Main article: Blanca Weiss
Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how tenacious and strange Chris could be about relationships, revealing several quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any white knighting efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain Chris's medallions and film a video of them cutting one up and setting it ablaze.
The GAMe PLACe Saga (August 2008 - June 2014)
Currently the second-longest saga in Christory. For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as Lucas and Mimms, two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the Pokemon TCG League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain in the ass to store manager Michael Snyder, and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various patrons, yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain, Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.
On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, and pleading on YouTube, but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, faux-apologetic speech. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a JEW, then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them to troll him. The next occasion was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael to shoot at, but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the Jerkops got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take pictures of his daughter. Whether it's true or not, it's confirmed that Chris has stalker tendencies.
The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and his mother visited the GAMe PLACe, and an incident occurred. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were brought. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory psychiatric treatment and evaluation. They also had to pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.
Being the second-longest saga to date, it's little wonder why Barb believes it's at the center of all the trolling.
Finally, on 4 April 2013, Chris posted on Facebook, "I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace." However, this would later be proven dishonest when 6 months later he made an angry post on Facebook where he pins all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "homosexual jerk", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan until she apologizes for what she's done. His plans were soon foiled in June 2014, however, when it was revealed on the Kiwi Farms that the GAMe PLACe was shut down for good. Regardless, he still holds a grudge against Mike.
Jimmy Hill Saga (mid/late 2008)
- Main article: Jimmy Hill
At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he was led to believe that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to stress out and provide proof of the infringement. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.
Clyde Cash Saga (December 2008 - mid-2010)
- Main article: Clyde Cash
In 2008, Chris encountered a new troll named Clyde Cash, who went on a months-long trolling spree to get back at the autistic wonder for supposedly causing his brother's suicide. The saga would result in the revelation of a top secret organization hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.
However, in September 2009 Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, Gregg Mays, were one and the same person. In the process, he made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a national tragedy.
PandaHalo Saga (mid/late 2008 - February 2009)
- Main article: PandaHalo
When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when he found out that she was supposedly found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, the ever-gullible Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident; question remains as to whether she really died in this event, or was actually working in tandem with Clyde, their relationship being consensual after all. She would end up giving trolls the Scrapbook of Fail and Slideshow.
Miyamoto Saga (January - 10 February 2009)
- Main article: Miyamoto Saga
In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by a troll posing as Nintendo developer Shigeru Miyamoto, claiming he would attempt to try to make his Sonichu game fantasy a reality. Unfortunately, Chris proved to be nothing more than a couch potato, and his ineptitude resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, "Reggie Fils-Aimé" shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about himself...and very little about his game.
Julie Saga (February - March 2009)
- Main article: Julie
Arguably the most divisive and controversial out of Chris's trolls until the Idea Guys. In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a 13-year-old troll named BlueSpike. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous sex tape and then torture Chris in many ways in the infamous Julie Reveals Herself chat, where he forced Chris to declare BILLY MAYS mayor of CWCville and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to shove it up the dumper. BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris, as well as his arguably abusive ways of trolling him, would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the PVCC and this very wiki. One other less disturbing yet no less fascinating incident that came about as a result of this Saga was the Ohio Trip; taking place just a week before the infamous reveal, Chris was willing to drive hundreds of miles to Cleveland in the hopes of rescuing Julie from Max and Clyde Cash; needless to say, this has been the furthest he's driven for any Sweetheart, and since then Chris was unwilling to drive significantly shorter distances to meet later potential girlfriends such as Kacey and Jackie in the years that followed.
Ivy Saga (March - July 2009)
- Main article: Ivy
In March 2009, a girl named Ivy decided to impress a friend by asking Chris for a video shout-out. She didn't know what would come later; his crush towards her would lead him to create 3 special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his creepiest yet, scarring many trolls and Christorians, but also provided an incredibly important resource for the latter in showing Chris's Heart Level at perhaps the strongest it had been since 2007, at least for a time. The saga also resulted in a proposal of marriage. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from Joshua Martinez and interference from Bob Chandler and Rocky Shoemaker, leading to Ivy's (fabricated) suicide.
Vanessa Saga (April - May 2009)
In April 2009, troll and fellow speech therapy attendee Joshua Martinez succeeded in getting Chris to believe that the High School Musical actress and pop star Vanessa Hudgens was in contact with him, through Joshua's AIM, in retaliation for Chris's horrible attempt at getting ED to troll him like Chris, himself, had been trolled. Chris would create videos to show that he was movie-star material, going so far as to cheat on his current true and honest sweetheart. Predictably, he wasn't exactly the type Vanessa was looking for.
This saga goes to show that even the most gullible of things can get by Chris, even when the perceived truth is a horrible excuse of ammunition against the poor manchild, which just shows how desperate he may be for romantic attention.
CWCipedia Saga (4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010)
- Main article: CWCipedia
In early June 2009, Chris was given his own wiki to upload his comics and blog about his personal life, safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the CWCki to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.
On 19 November 2009, perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the Mailbag, in which a dump of all fan e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.
After 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the Asperpedia took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had complained repeatedly to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations. All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming death threats upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.
This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of Simonla Rosechu in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.
The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to Alec and Vivian Gee, wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin Sonichu Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 June 2010, the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.
Liquid Chris Saga (21 June - 10 November 2009)
- Main article: Liquid Chris
In July 2009, Chris came up with a plan to try getting the trolls off his back. He faked a revelation that he was apparently a troll himself who is the complete opposite of Chris in real life. Along then came the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, which got the other Chris (at this point nicknamed Ian Brandon Anderson and Solid Chris) really pent up with rage. Ian would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of Sonichu #9, something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.
Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, Kacey. In the end, after a long series of calls that proved Ian to be unworthy of her love, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July 2011.
Asperchu Saga (November 2009 - 10 January 2012)
- Main article: Asperchu
In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called Asperchu, starring the titular Electric Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring Asperchu and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fanfiction and a parody. The popularity of Asperchu, combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is Sonichu #10, led many of Chris's fans to abandon Sonichu and go to Asperchu.
Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also Evan, Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.
In terms of productivity, it has given us Sonichu #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, nine phone calls have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.
In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his Simonchu comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with Jackie.
Alec Benson Leary would later be called out by Chris in 2011, and his identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza. This later turned out to be fake as months later, the real Christopher Paul Whitney made a response to Chris and essentially confirmed he was not Alec.
Surfshack Tito Saga (2 March 2010 - 10 August 2011)
- Main article: Surfshack Tito (troll)
Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with The Wallflower, hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a virgin with rage. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a LittleBigPlanet video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal... and release her name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the lulz spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.
The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a pocket knife, attacking him with racial slurs, and flashing his underwear while wearing a Scottish kilt. At the same time, Chris discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. To put it bluntly, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.
The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...
Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in August 2011 when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually gave in to his demands on 9 August, which Chris later acknowledged and accepted.
Dark Ages (20 March 2010 to 3 September 2014)
Though the Miscreants could collectively keep Chris on edge for well over a year, it was inevitable that the archetypical lolcow would someday cease to give milk. His seeking out the Wallflower and then Jackie in person, instead of believing every self-declared boyfriend-free girl who caught his fancy online, was an early sign of the changing atmosphere: Chris's ill-fated attempt to seduce her marked a shift from focusing on on-line to real-world affairs. Information on Chris's life would increasingly need to be sought through Flipnote Hatena, in-person encounters and other sources beside the Internet; traditional videos became less frequent. Occasional transvestitism would soon become permanent as Chris began to leave his old identity behind him. Surprisingly, Chris would come to abstain even from his traditional pursuit of women and put the Sonichu comic on indefinite hiatus.
All sagas during this period are of this early transitional phase: Bob Chandler's death in late 2011 drew a veil over Chris's affairs for the next several years. Direct records from Chris during this time are nearly exclusively found on Facebook; for a time, it appeared that Chris had learnt from his many years of abuse at the Internet's hands and was finally keeping a low profile. We are again dependent mostly on third-party sources for events such as Snyder's near-death at Chris's hands, the resulting conviction and the destruction of Chris's home in the following years. Organic CWC-generated activity would not re-emerge until mid-2014, proving that he had, in fact, learnt nothing from past events.
First Exile (20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010)
After Chris lost the Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed years ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.
Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at Fridays After Five, then discover that he had set up shop at Flipnote Hatena, where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down several times. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade. At his own hands, no less!
Jackie Saga (5 April - 26 November 2010; 7 December 2010 - May 2012)
- Main article: Jackie
Following the Wallflower incident's fallout, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at The Hook Cafe, the two began conversing through e-mails, revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing he's still incredibly disturbing. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.
Around September 2010, Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating even more disturbing videos in the process. A third party--Lars McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend--stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of October.
By November, the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, leading many to believe that the Jackie saga had finished.
However, in December, Jackie and Chris were in contact again. This would not be known until 2013, where a whole bunch of emails from then to September 2011 were leaked. During this time, Chris came out as a tomgirl to her, while she later got Chris to make a bunch of humiliating videos, including Cakefarts. These would be leaked in February 2012, leading to Chris unfriending her on Facebook in April, though refriending her a month later. She was never heard from again, putting an end to the saga.
Calling Out Saga (6 August - 6 September 2011)
- Main article: Calling Out
During the beginning of August, Chris began to release videos as an attempt to get some sort of reprisal and apology out of the trolls. Chris warned the trolls that if they didn't meet his demands on the deadline Chris had set for them, then Chris would leak information that he believed to be true, even though most believe some of the information to be fake. This saga is notable for videos that showcase Chris's new Tomgirl look, and further set in stone the aformentioned Tomgirl Saga. Though Chris reached the zenith of the Calling Out Saga on a high, having believed himself to have exiled some of his most prominent rivals from the internet, these series of videos would, however, come to an abrupt end after tragedy struck the Chandler household.
Second Exile (6 September 2011 - 9 July 2014)
Unlike the other exiles listed here, the Second CWC Exile came unannounced with the death of his father. Then came October 28, a day which will live in infamy for Chris. After trespassing and running over Michael Snyder, he and Barb were arrested. Despite the help of Rob Bell, they were found guilty and were sentenced. Since that day, most, if not all of Chris' internet activity were confined to his Facebook account, where he would gripe about loneliness and nostalgia. It wasn't until 2013 where he uploaded a new video. Although January 2014 would bring him back to the spotlight briefly due to a house fire, it wasn't until the Sonic Boom saga where he would return to relevance.
Renaissance (3 September 2014 to 24 October 2017)
Chris soon came back to relevance on September 3 2014 when he showed irrational hatred for the Sonic the Hedgehog reboot, Sonic Boom.
Catherine Saga (9 July - 14 December 2014)
With his newly acquired feminine wiles from his transition to a Tomgirl, Chris managed to attract a sweetheart who would be his first lesbian romance. In the summer of 2014, Chris would reveal he had found a new sweetheart, whose identity he managed to surprisingly conceal for period of time. Later, he would reveal that her name was Catherine. Predictably, she turned out to be a troll, who revealed much about Chris having met with him twice. According to Catherine, his behavior had not improved since the sexual harassment in the early days of the Megan Saga, and neither had the Chandlers's comprehension of basic sanitation. In addition to Catherine's observation on her personal encounters, Chris also announced he had got a piercing on his perineum, meaning this Saga provides some more detail on Chris's disturbing new features as a Tomgirl.
Sonic Boom Saga (3 September 2014 - 7 December 2015)
- Main article: Sonic Boom Protests
This Saga began with Chris grumbling on Facebook about the announcement of the latest Sonic game, Sonic Boom. Chris wasn't alone in his discontent; many of his Facebook friends expressed disapproval about the deteriorating quality of the Sonic games. What made Chris unique in his irritation, is that the fact that Chris only took umbrage at the fact that the color of Sonic's arms had been changed from tan to blue.
This baffled most of his white knights, with William Elliott Waterman trying to explain just how ludicrous Chris's demands to Sega to revert back to blue were, especially considering Sonic Boom was not part of the Sonic canon. The fact that Sega had no control in the design of Sonic's arms did not deter him and, thanks to his white knights who unwaveringly encouraged him, he began to protest. Initially, his protest against the "Blue-Armed Bandit" took the form of Facebook boycott groups, petitions, and angry messages on Sega Facebook pages.
On Boxing Day, however, this Saga came into bloom, culminating in Chris's second pending court case. Despite warnings from even his most loyal white knights, Chris had decided to take it upon himself to bring the protest into the real world. He went into his local GameStops and vandalized the display cases, including stores he had previously been banned from. It was during his visit to one of these stores that had banned Chris that resulted in his arrest on Boxing Day. Chris had been seen and asked to leave by the management. After initially ignoring their requests he made his way towards the exit and, whilst on the way out, maced an employee, who hadn't been involved in his removal. As a result, Chris spent the weekend in jail, only to have Barb bail him out afterwards.
Despite this, he continues to go on a tard rage over Sonic's blue arms, calling out Kengle because he owns a comic with blue-armed Sonic, sending glitterbombs to Sega, and buying a Sonic Boom doll just to rip its arms off.
Later though, Chris claims victory in the blue arms debacle, due to Sonic the Hedgehog being his non-blue-armed form in Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. He says this is the final update for the group, but only time will tell if he's telling the truth.
Ultimately, after six days in court, Chris was found guilty on 15 October 2015 for the GameStop incident and was fined $541 along with a 180-day probation. Thus, the Blue Arms Saga ends (or has it?). Months later, Chris instructed his fanbase to boycott local stores which refused his request to be unbanned.
Lady Managers Saga (17 November 2015 - July 2016)
Between fall 2015 and summer 2016, Chris was in contact with people he vaguelly dubbed his ladyfriends or managers. During this time, he would be trolled by various characters - Jeff/Francine Ouzos, a thinly-disguised parody and wealthy rival of Chris; Sam and Ellen, a lesbian couple considering Chris as a sperm donor, to whom he showed off his frozen sperm collection; and Johan, the catalyst for the Lesbian Sex Audition.
This saga saw the return of Chris uploading videos to YouTube after a years-long hiatus.
Pmurt Saga (25 September 2016 - 20 January 2017)
- Main article: Pmurt
The saga started with a Facebook comment on 25 September in where he decried then Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump for his anti-LGBTQ opinions and misogynistic attitudes, labeling him "Pmurt" in an attempt to spite him. Many found this comment surprising, as Chris has been historically neutral in politics. As the election drew closer, Chris continued to criticize Trump, seemingly oblivious to the irony that any negative trait he could levy was far more applicable to himself. This saga reached its peak when Trump was elected president. During this point, he would make death threats to him. This culminated in a one-week ban from Facebook.
On Inauguration day, Chris would make one last attack. Although Chris still holds negative opinions of Pmurt, he is not nearly as expressive with his vitriol as he was during this saga. Even when Trump was impeached, Chris gave no thoughts on it.
Doopie Saga (7 March - 26 September 2017)
Also coined by the Kiwi Farms, This saga began when Chris made a tweet empathizing with Planet Dolan animator and artist DoopieDoOver. He began frequently replying to her tweets, usually with small talk and the occasional sharing of a life experience, or shameless attempts at flirting.The saga's climax began on 1 August, when Chris pledged to Doopie's alternative Patreon account, "Kittenbell", which handles pornographic commissions. The same day, Chris listed her among his Gal pals on "National Girlfriend Day", only for her to promptly rebuke him. Afterward, Doopie tweeted about the harassment she was receiving (from Chris), went to the Kiwi Farms, and leak his private e-mails to her business account. Chris discovered that Doopie had turned on him and desperately followed several of Doopie's friends (including her boyfriend) in an attempt to stay connected. However, he unfollowed most of them when it became clear his plan would not work, while the rest blocked him themselves.
Doopie has not contacted Chris since August 2017; his hopes of building her into a sweetheart or gal pal from the ground up, predictably, were in vain. By September, Chris had found a new sweetheart and moved on. Their interactions showed that Chris's immense social ineptitude and creepy behavior have not abated. Doopie inadvertently became the greatest troll Chris faced in many years, breaking his heart and feeding new information to Christorians.
Quinn Saga (7 September - 5 October 2017)
- Main article: Jessica Quinn
Jessica Quinn, for years a white knight of Chris, suddenly decided to troll him with the tried-and-true method of pretending to fall in love with him. Highlights of the brief saga include pictures and videos of Chris crying over a short breakup, an old-fashioned rage video following their final breakup (which he initially blamed on hackers from Kiwi Farms), and Quinn manipulating Chris into adding fat fetishism to Sonichu. This saga would serve as the transition for the new wave of trolling yet to come for Chris.
Transcendental Awakening (August 2017 to present)
After a period of reemergence from Chris, several trolls soon began to notice Chris' deteriorating mental state, and found it the perfect opportunity to troll him again, this time through the tactic of enabling his beliefs and brainwashing new ridiculous concepts into him. This all began with Joshua Wise, an anime-obsessed troll who greatly manipulated him for his own personal gain by changing major parts of the canon of his Sonichu comics, coercing him into producing strange videos, and proposing the infamous marriage between Chris and a bunch of fictional characters, half of which Chris had already created.
Chris' new motto to befriend everyone he meets, even complete strangers, has also made it much easier to manipulate him. Because of this, many other trolls began to follow suit, using some of the same tactics that Wise had used to manipulate Chris with, with very little questioning on his end. Since then, Chris has started to believe himself to be the goddess of an alternate dimension, dubbing himself and all other residents of said dimension as "OCs".
Escapist Saga (August 2017 - Present)
As a maladaptive coping mechanism against the bleakness of his reality, Chris's belief in imaginary friends and magical thinking drastically increased, one example of him dancing with Magi-Chan at the 2017 BronyCon. After the Idea Guys, the Teen Troon Squad, Jacob Sockness and other successive enablers further fueled his fantasies by validating them, Chris retreated even more into his fantasy world. It was once again re-enforced by the COVID-19 Pandemic due to the fact that it cancelled all the conventions Chris was planning to attend in 2020.
Idea Guys Saga (25 October 2017 - 29 April 2018)
- Main article: Idea Guys
In early November 2017, Chris began blurting out nonsensical stories about his comics, such as the characters of Hyperdimension Neptunia invading CWCville, CWCville reacting to the invasion by setting up concentration camps, and Vladimir Putin being president of the United States in another dimension. He also began making strange videos involving Internet memes and cultural and historical references he clearly did not understand.
It came to light that an anonymous troll, acting as Chris' "idea guy", noted Chris' difficulty distinguishing reality and fiction and lack of understanding of history and politics, and began convincing Chris to make bizarre or politically incorrect content. There are signs that the Idea Guy's influence was coercive or deceptive in nature, such as Chris being shocked at his suggestion that Rosechu was transgender, and appearing visibly uncomfortable as he performed an "anchuent Cherokean chant".
After a calm period in early January, the saga escalated again as Chris made two bizarre videos of ranting about Nazis and smashing his possessions. Possibly as a response, moderators at Kiwi Farms doxxed the Idea Guy troll, revealing his name as Joshua Wise.
Despite that setback, Wise decided to continue being the Idea Guy. His changes to Sonichu remained canon, with Chris continuing to produce drawings using ideas which Wise had established prior to the dox, and Chris continued to proudly wear the Gopnik outfit which Wise first convinced him to don.
Chris subsequently announced that he was bisexual, and was attracted to his own fursona and said he had gotten married to Cryzel and Magi-Chan. More questionable acts such as Chris licking pictures of Magi-chan's penis drawn on a wall and prostituting himself on Twitter were scripted and executed.
In May 2018, The Captain discovered what the Idea Guys were doing and rescued Chris from the Idea Guys. He, along with Marvin and Null, then gathered evidence to submit to law enforcement. As for Chris, he disavowed some ideas given to him by the Idea Guys (though keeping the majority of them, like his make-believe marriage).
Guard Dogs (Summer 2018)
- Main article: Guard Dogs
After the events of the Idea Guy saga, it became clear that Chris was dealing with a ween epidemic. To combat this, Null and The Captain decided to step in and filter Chris's emails and Twitter to prevent trolls from getting through. Null made a thread on Kiwi Farms showing off the intercepted ween messages and even doxxing the senders.
According to con attendees, Null seems to have recruited some Kiwi Farms users to follow Chris around BronyCon in 2018 in order to prevent people from talking to him. If this is true, it's most likely in response to Chris's meltdown at TooManyGames and Null, not wanting this to happen again, assembled an elite anti-ween task force. The Captain assisted Chris when his car broke down on the way back from BronyCon. More elaborate plans were also implemented, including a plan for a field agent to whisk Chris away to assisted living after his mother passes.
Null and The Captain would also attempt to give Chris advice. In particular, Null encouraged him to talk to his therapist about the Idea Guys, in order to fast-track law enforcement involvement, but Chris was reluctant to do so. Instead, Chris opted to retreat into the ruins of his fantasy world. Eventually, it became clear that Chris had disregarded the precautions set up for him and found a new set of trolls to replace the Idea Guys: the Teen Troon Squad. Null and The Captain's willingness to help Chris has since diminished, although they remain in proximity to Chris online to document and discuss any goings-on.
Teen Troon Squad Saga (24 April 2018 - 1 January 2019)
- Main article: Teen Troon Squad
The Teen Troon Squad is a group of 18- to 19-year-old FTM trans people who live locally to Chris. They gained influence over Chris upon purchasing his porn artwork on eBay for $1,000 in April 2018.
After Chris was rescued from the Idea Guys in May 2018, he continued to hold onto the beliefs they had programmed into him. Although he was encouraged to seek therapy, Chris balked at the idea and instead sought out more people to feed his delusional thinking - and got his wish in the form of the Teen Troon Squad; around October of that same year, for the second time in 2018, Chris was trolled by people claiming to be his own fictional characters when the Squad invited Chris over to their house, where they pushed his delusional thinking..
In October 2018 Chris began outlining a supposed 'Dimensional Merge' that would take place at the end of 2018, in which the real world, aka Dimension 1218, and its sister dimension, C197, were to collide and combine in an event of supposedly-apocalyptic proportions. Lukas, a Squad member, has alleged that this was a holdover from the Idea Guys, but implied that the Squad encouraged these beliefs in Chris.
In late December 2018, the Squad was doxxed by an unknown party who logged into Chris's Twitter. One of the Squad members then leaked more documents on /cow/. On 30 December 2018, Chris wrote a Twitter post bashing Lukas, also mentioning that Lukas had wanted him to buy booze. As a result of the spotlight being well and truly shone upon their schemes, the Teen Troon Squad has since retreated into the shadows.
Soft Exile (30 January - 25 June 2019)
- Main article: TF2 Analysis
In January 2019, a slew of people began to block Chris either due to his own harassment or egging on by weens. This caused Chris, naturally, to rage about it, and eventually to protect his Twitter account. For months, he had shown no signs of budging. All of his tweets during this period consisted of complaining about being blocked, or else his dimensional delusions mentioned above. After protecting his Twitter account, he would greatly reduce his social media activity, and in June 2019 even extended to disabling comments again on his recent videos. This period of time also marked Chris's bizarre adoption of the word "Bugbear" (a phrase referring to minor annoyances) and employing it almost everywhere in his wild and unclear rants. After several months, Chris's initial bitterness from the blocks seems to have faded, and he opened his Twitter account for the public again.
Jacob Saga (14 July - 28 November 2019; 15 July - 26 August 2020)
- Main article: Jacob Sockness
Though he had been autistically obsessed with Chris since 2018, amateur sorcerer Jacob Sockness only made Chris's acquaintance in June 2019, after an unremarkable troll convinced Chris that Sockness would be interested in buying his filthy bath water. On 14 July 2019, the two agreed to a closer partnership: Sockness would act as middleman for Chris's merchandise, in order to evade Chris's eBay ban. The two would soon abandon this scheme, however, directing their attention to another of their common interests: pretending to be gods. Their mystical and occultist schemes would cross-pollinate, Jacob's extraterrestrial demons wending their way into the Dimensional Merge's logistics. The resemblance to the Idea Guys not long earlier was not lost by onlookers, but Sockness could not be deterred by a mere dox: indeed, he had doxxed himself long before meeting Chris, and would boast freely about how he was misleading Chris for his own ends. Despite the obvious dangers, Chris continued to believe his teachings at face value, and encouraged his desire to meet in person. In late September, the situation became a near-crisis when Sockness announced that he had secured a train from his home in California to Charlottesville, and that he would brutally treat him after arriving. Alarmed, Chris demanded Sockness return, and arranged for a supporter to intercept Sockness in Chicago and provide for him to return to San Francisco. Jacob relented, and the two have grown more distant since. Sockness would temporarily return to Chris's good side in late October and early November 2019, yet by the end of that month he would again be cast aside.
Another such example is his belief in spirit possession, using it to cope with pressures from reality. In 2019, he believed he swapped minds with Magi-Chan in order to visit Jacob Sockness so he wouldn't need to do so in real life, with the roleplay session lasting a full month. On 15 April 2020, Chris claimed that he swapped minds with his creation, Sonichu in order to cope with the cancellation of BABSCon due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and when his predictions about the Dimensional Merge did not come true, with the roleplay spanning over a month. His beliefs that he is now one of his characters has led to unusual results when responding to trolls, weens, and enablers. During an interview with Leftovermedia, he kept up the roleplay, which, along with the downpour of weens attempting to contact him, got him to leave the interview halfway through. On May 14, almost one month after he began roleplaying as Sonichu, Chris briefly roleplayed as Mewtwo in order to protest against his trolls and weens.
Normally, mistakes present a life lesson. In theory, the various sagas should have taught Chris the consequences of oversharing, egotism, hypocrisy, blind trust, anger, and more. Above all, the moral of most of Chris's sagas boils down to a classic Abraham Lincoln quote: don't believe everything you see on the Internet.
Nevertheless, if anything remains clear, it is that Chris is nearly incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies. Christory repeats itself.