Jackie E-mails 9
These e-mails between Chris and Jackie cover the period 19 August-24 August 2010. Chris has still yet to actually hear Jackie's voice, and tells her he mass debates to her. Jackie points out how he put the effort on his personal fantasy, but makes no effort on fulfilling hers.
Chris on the upcoming 10-year high-school reunion, lack of info: Insubordination! I'm entitled to it!
Jackie: Then you do it.
Chris: Too haaaaard.
Chris whines about life after high school, essentially explaining the rationale behind Count Graduon. Jackie speaks of replacing all that negativity with positivity. Since self-application means effort, Chris thinks it's bad. Chris claims various women to be former Sweethearts, when none of them considered their relationship with him to be any such thing. Chris thinks he was "somewhere in the middle" in high school popularity, and tells his familiar "pity me" story of not getting special awards for his shitty art. He wants a woman for baby-making.
|August 19, 2010 - 8:33pm
Oh! I was meaning to ask you last time… what have you done with that troll forum lately? I completely forgot about it since I've been traveling and my parents have been rather clingy lately, heehee! :9 Have you gotten inside their website or gotten their passwords yet? Before I left, you posted once… I think you should be posting more on there. You know, so they don't get curious over why you're not that active. You don't want them changing tune! What's the game plan, baby boy?
Yesterday, I went there and looked around myself and found some super weird threads. Like, this one! About masturbating with "icy hot"… Here's the link: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=54 Have you ever tried that?? Is that common? Not being a guy I'd have no idea… Hmm.. Does seem pretty fun and kinky, though! Heehee. I've been so horny lately, Chris, you have no idea! I've had very little alone time and it's leaving me frustrated… I can't wait to see the colored drawing! I know it will bring the relief I so desperately need. If I can't be with you right now, at least I'll be able to keep these pictures close with me at all times… ;)
|August 19, 2010 - 9:02pm
Firstly, it is good to see the Forum back up, after a loong time of it being down. I had received a package from a fan in Germany, who also watched in a recent IRC Troll Talk; he enclosed pages of the transcript of the discussion. I let my father read it first; he found on there that they have figured out who Junior Jenkins really was, so that disguise is (to me) theoretically gone (I'll read the pages for myself a little later). :( And I'll try logging in shortly after sending you this e-mail.
Attached is the completed drawing of you and me in a pool with a man and a woman watching (all you can see of them is their feet really). I will hold the $40 for two weeks, and by my check, two Fridays from now will be September 3rd (unless you inform me otherwise), so I will rearrange my plans for the postponing. You and I will still meet at the planned Starbucks at 1:00 PM that day.
On a side-note, let me ask your opinion, would "Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World" be a choice movie for you and I to see together? I'm sure you've heard of it.
I'll e-mail you later with more thoughts.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
|August 21, 2010 - 6:23pm
I haven't heard from you in a couple of days. You and your friend have been hanging out and having fun; I can understand that. I'd still like to hear how you're doing and what you've been up to (with details). :)
Did you like the pool party drawing I sent you? I apologize again for being late with that. Something else I have on my mind, I've drawn for you to help you keep sweet memory and self-pleasuring fun with until when we finally meet (in September now), I want something from you to help me. Photographs are good, but I'd really like to hear your voice. I would appreciate a voice recording mp3 audio file from you. You got to hear my voice from my past videos on my YouTube. It doesn't have to be much; it can be like a fun message you would leave on my voicemail (flirty and turn-me-on-able optional). And I would appreciate the file on a MegaUpload site, and a link to find it with (after I download it, you may remove it from the M.U. site).
Please help me endure the wait for our meeting better, Sweetheart.
Anyway, you have a good time with your friend and stay safe.
Stay Sweet too,
|August 21, 2010 - 7:51pm
Hey Chris! Sorry I didn't write yesterday, I meant to but then things went crazy all day and I totally lost track of time.
I really liked the drawing you made, it was sweet, but, I was wondering... now that you've drawn your own fantasy, when are you going to draw mine? The one I told you about? I'm still looking forward to seeing that... <3
I'll write a little more later,
|August 22, 2010 - 12:25pm
Firstly, I'll have to backtrack the e-mails to refresh myself of your fantasy, but I will have it drawn out for you within this week, I Promise.
I understand you having lost track of time; it happens to me sometimes too. I appreciate hearing from you again and knowing that you continue to be safe. :)
Also, current topic, I am going to REALLY Push for my Manchester High School Class of 2000 Reunion today and this week. I am going to get in contact with the principal (same dude, thank God) and INSIST on getting the person who put together the Seinor Prom to put the Promised Reunion together. I know it was Promised, because at the end of the slideshow they had at the Prom, it had a HUGE Message stating, "See You at the Reunion in Ten Year." I am no longer going to take the insubordination and belaboring-to-no-promise-keeping sitting down anymore.
Also, what of the recording of your voice for me; would you make it for me, please? I have done, and going to do, a lot for you; all I ask for now is a sweet sample of your voice.
|August 22, 2010 - 2:01pm
You know, it's great that you want to get that reunion together for your high school class. But I am curious why you don't take more of an initiative yourself on this? You should talk to your principal and offer to put the reunion together yourself. Especially since you aren't working right now, I'm sure a lot of your old classmates don't really have the time to work on it and would greatly appreciate if you took the bull by the horns. I understand why you're annoyed that you haven't heard anything, but if you feel that strongly about it you should really be the one to take charge, don't you think sweetie? Planning those sorts of reunions is usually up to some sort of student committee, rather than the school itself. If no one is working on the reunion, then you should work on it. Especially because the committee already put together the prom, I bet they'd love it if someone else from their class took up the weight on their shoulders and put together the reunion. I think you've mentioned your desire for a reunion before, but obviously if no one else is working on it then you're going to shoulder the burden. Remember the old saying Chris, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. But then again, it's not a job you can do alone. You can be the leader, but you'll need others to help do all the menial work. But it's up to you to round them up, sweetie.
This is getting me kind of jazzed! What do you think of the idea? I think you have what it takes to take charge and be the leader here. Maybe you could ask your principal for a contact list of students or something, although after ten years I'm sure most people have moved or changed numbers, but he might have some email or something. Actually, I know you've said before you've tried to get in touch with old classmates but had trouble tracking them down, right? That might not work...
Ooh, you know what you could do to get your old classmates' attention? Make a youtube video! I know stupid trolls will make a bunch of fuss over it, but the fact is that your youtube is where everyone knows to look for you. What better way is there to contact people you can't find? Do it, Chris. Make a video demanding that they put in the effort to see this reunion through. Who of your classmates do you think would be best suited? Get them to come under your wing and work on this.
You know, this is making me curious. I don't think you've told me a whole lot about your high school experience. What was your prom like? What was your graduation ceremony like? I remember the commencement speech my class's valedictorian gave at our graduation, it was so funny, but also heartwarming. Did you ride the school bus? What was that like? What kind of classes did you take?
Anyway, about your recording request, Chris, that's kind of creepy, honestly. I don't mean to be harsh but I just want to be truthful. I'd much rather talk to you in person or on the phone, I'm not sure why you prefer a recording.
Hey, what's going on with that trolling forum? Have you started posting there? I know you said something about some troll claimed jenkinsjinkies was you, but he was probably just dicking around because of how popular "jinkies" was getting on their site. What was the email address you used to log in there? You should check it, I'm sure if they wanted to question you on it they would write you. I didn't see any threads talking about you or saying your cover was blown last time I was on the forum, seems like if they didn't believe your disguise they would have talked about it on the forum, considering how big of a deal jinkies was to them. Just check in to the forum and your email.
|August 22, 2010 - 7:00pm
Chris, don't have a lot of time to talk, driving around Toronto tonight. But I had the idea of sneaking into one of their IRC chatrooms to find out more info about what they're doing, because I didn't believe this playstation 3 thing, but I found out some stuff. I was only in the chatroom for a few minutes pretending to be a troll (my name is "nyycklaj") but I talked to that canine guy, this is the chatlog (the password for the log is "troll"):
I had to leave because I'm so busy so I don't know if anything else was said but I think I saw quite enough. I know you said you don't want to talk about this, I can't bear to see how they treat you either but you do need to do something. Chris, they've got some foolproof plan. They may be assholes but unfortunately, they plan ahead. I think you'd better deal with this NOW. Get in that inner circle and shut them down.
I feel really bad about them doing this to you, Chris. I want you to just blow up their website and end this once and for all. Because frankly, if we're going to try to start a potential relationship I want your life to be free of this baggage when we do, or else we won't have a chance. I want this to all be behind you when I see you.
|August 22, 2010 - 9:30pm
Well, the reason I don't or haven't done it myself is because I do not feel confident in putting together such a huge event, and I have NO prior experience or knowledge of setting up a Reunion. Plus, like I said, it was Previously Implied as a Promise in that slideshow. I've been looking forward to it for ten years since; I've been expecting the people who made that promise to put it together themselves. I guess I was expecting too much; the only knowledge I had of how great my Class was, was through my small circle of friends. To list the top of the bunch from my memory...
I intend to talk with the Principal to see about the thing, and I am NOT going to make a video for YouTube and risk LURING the damn trolls to set something FAKE and LURE ME into their Trap(s). I am smart and aware of those S.O.B.s and their treachery and ploys.
I feel a bit too keyed up to recall my H.S. stories, but I promise to tell you in another e-mail or on the day we meet. But I will inform you of the nutshells:
-Graduation was bad.
And I dream of going BACK to Manchester High as a Returning Honorary Student (or just relive my Junior and/or Seinor Year). Often I wish my family and I had NEVER left Chesterfield County and moved back to Crappy Greene County and return to my Autism Birthplace. I even wish I could afford to move back there myself and start a new life, but I can't. Even with my blessings and items paid for from my own hands, the house they're all in, its comfort, and my parents all remains my anchor keeping me in this one-cow-town with a Wal-Mart and a city which is considered anti-social and hoity-toity and mid to low comfortable to me being nearest.
Soo many issues.
I have asked you to call me, but you're on your Pay-As-You-Go Plan, and I felt if you couldn't afford to call me a recording I could play over and over again until I finally met you would be just as good. But if you feel it weird, then I guess I was in error.
Also, I made a new post on the Forum, with the aid of my father, and my own personal touch to make it more believable. http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=80
I wait until I can think, or am instructed, of something else to do against the trolls. But mostly of bigger importance to me is getting together with you, Jacklyn, the High School Reunion, and protecting myself from those damn trolls. I wish I knew where Clyde Cash lived, so I could plan on going over there myself and beating the shit out of him with the frustrations that have further been built within me since I found that damn Encyclopedia Dramatica page.
I got to take some more breaths and play a game or something to distract myself. But I REALLY wish I can talk with you, Jackie, over the phone, or at least be able to hear you. I guess a fair comparison is an animated cartoon character with a voice actor is about equal to a real person photograph with a memorized spoken phrase. IDK, but I hope I'm making a point with it, because my mind is befuddled right now.
|August 22, 2010 - 10:14pm
Well, about setting up the reunion, you know, I doubt any of your other classmates have any experience in setting up such a big event, either. How else do you think someone learns how to do it? By trying. Furthermore, the slideshow you mention, well, it sounds like it was just being hopeful that a reunion would take place. I don't think it was a promise to organize the reunion themselves. Think about it, how likely is it that some teenagers in high school would reasonably know that they would be available and able to organize the reunion ten years into the future? Most high schools have ten year reunions, so they were probably just assuming there would be one, it doesn't really make sense to put the burden on them. I mean, we all proclaim things we don't really take seriously sometimes. Like you and Sonichu, right? You've been telling people for months that you're working on that, but you only really say that to keep them quiet, right? It's kind of like that.
What about your graduation was so bad? Mine was really fun. You seem to look back on high school with a lot of regret and resentment, to be honest. It's not healthy to carry all that negativity around. What were those friends of yours like? I remember my group of friends in high school, we were inseparable. We had this one guy named Harry who was kind of weird, he just followed us around awkwardly and didn't really say anything, we let him hang around because we wanted to be nice and he didn't seem like anyone else liked him. But other than that we had nothing but great times. Why would you want to go back to high school now though? I mean, I loved my high school experience, but I couldn't stand being back there as I am now because I've changed and grown so much - I'm a completely different person now, I wouldn't be able to tolerate high school now.
As for moving back there, well, Chris, you're a grown adult. You can do it if you actually really want to. I mean, it'll take time to recover from your recent financial problems, but if you discipline yourself and prioritize your spending and your life from now on you will be able to move out on your own before long. I don't really get why you say your parents and your comfortable life are "anchors" keeping you from moving - you seem to have nothing but complaints about your current life situation, so I don't get how it can be "comfortable" at the same time. It's pretty simple Chris, either you want out of it or you don't. (And not to beat a dead horse, but we've talked about your dependency on social security means that nothing you have is really paid by your "own hands". Your "own hands" implies you earn what you get.)
*Sigh* ...I'm kind of saddened by your negativity Chris. I suggest things that you can do to help yourself; but you just shoot them down without trying, and then you still complain about having no solution. You say you're "waiting to be instructed" on what to do about the trolls? Well, I've told you things you can do, but you don't try them. I've told you what you can do about the reunion but you don't try that either. I've told you how you can try to get in touch with your old friends but you just assume it's not worth trying because of troll interference. You know, if you're afraid of false info and traps, I can certainly help you filter out the fake stuff from the real. Just show me whatever responses you get and I'll guide you in how to deal with them, that way you have another perspective so you don't have to worry about traps on your own. Sound good? Because one thing I'm NOT going to do, Chris, is look up your friends and contact them for you. You really need to learn to do things for yourself when you want something done. You're 28 years old, you can't expect everyone to hold your hand all the time. A girlfriend certainly won't, in case that's what you expected.
But anyway... I'll think about calling you. But I don't really want to talk to someone who has this "pity me" attitude even when I've given you plenty of help to solve your problems. Maybe I just need a good night's sleep to get over this frustration. Write me tomorrow, okay?
|August 23, 2010 - 7:14pm
I will look into setting up the Reunion myself. I'll get the list of the C.O.2000 Students Contact List from the Principal, look for volunteers in my congregation to help to put together the committee. And I have your support too. :)
I also apologize for sounding pitiful; I am a lot better than that.
A bit of my friends; Kellie Andes was my H.S. Sweetheart (at least in my opinion). I met her my Sophmore Year in P.E. We also shared a few other classes together, including a Science Class. She was a very nice and smart girl; quite talkative too. I gave her a gift now and then on the occasions, such as Valentines Day and her Birthday. Without my knowledge, of which I had learned a LOT later, she was going out with some other dude.
Tiffany Gowen was a bit of a tomboy, but she was a good and smart girl too; also tough and sweet. She asked Me to dance at the Seinor Prom (I gave a lame excuse of "Two Left Feet" at first); she whisked me onto the dance floor, and we were having fun. Even a close slow dance; it was nice. I've been looking forward to the Reunion to return the favor.
Sarah Bevel and Brian Smart were the High School Sweethearts I was well-aware of (the ONLY couple I was well-aware of). They both were good people. They, Tiffany and I shared lunchtime together at the same table our Seinor Year.
I had more friends who were very good to me throughout High School as well. Also, I was not all that a Popular Individual, and I was Not Aware of ANY "Popularity Food Chain", and I had no concern of such a stupid hierarchy. I was somewhere in the Middle.
Same thing throughout College; little Popularity, no concern of such; except it was a downhill slope for me that I was only too happy to leave behind.
My High School Graduation was bad, because of me leaving my friends and NOT receiving ANY Awards for my Talents (I only got a Star Pin for my Honor Roll Grades), I felt very sad on Graduation Day. Plus it was a rainy, rainy day (it didn't help either). All of my friends were scattered in the alphabetical lineup; my family, the Reverend Shin and his family (of the Korean Church we were going to back then), and the faculty were there; plus some big-wig people who I do not remember their names at all (and I was too crestfallen to pay attention then). The final nail that sealed my sad deal was when they passed out MORE Talent Awards right before handing out Diplomas (still got none myself). Walking up in the single-file line, I got my diploma, but I did not shake anyone's hands, and I cried. After returning to my seat, I excused myself up the center aisle and sought a secluded area for myself (a table in the dining area of the building). It would have gone better if I had my friends around me, instead of two "C"-named strangers, and if I had gotten a BIG Award for my Talents.
On a Flip Side, my PVCC Graduation went The Complete Opposite; I was happy; I shook a Governer's hand, and I actually threw my cap in the air with the rest of the crowd I was in. This complete 180 was due to the fact that I had Little amount of Acquaintances, and that thanks to some people, PVCC was like a Hell Hole to me, and I was ONLY TOO HAPPY to be Leaving it.
NOT to sound pitiful here, but the dreams I have of going back to my High School life and wanting to go back to Chesterfield Co., they’re all based from my events from the past number of years after moving back; I'd say since about 2003 or 5 (somewhere in between there) the emotional hurts started, ever since my 21st Birthday when ON THAT DAY, I was literally kicked out of the English Class I was taking at PVCC for having scared the male professor beforehand. We were reading “Wednesday's Child", which is a story of a Autistic Girl; I raised my hand and informed him that I was High-Functioning Autistic. Between that surprise, plus past opinions I've expressed in writing in my homework of critiquing other students' essays or stories we were reading and such. There was one I remember from then where the essay had a lot of offensive content, including smoking, and I spoke my mind on how offended I was of it. Plus other details I misunderstood that he was expecting in the assignments.
I have a considerably comfortable life, and I appreciate it all, I do. It's just not having someone to share it with, and me being sometimes yelled at by my father for letting a bunch of our private information get out on the internet (including such content I was tricked out of or blackmailed into doing by those trolls).
I feel my life would be a lot better with my own girl by my side to share it with, hang out, make love, being together, eventually having children and such.
When my life here is that much better, especially before having the chance to move back to Chesterfield Co., I would feel better being able to stay here... I should probably re-evaluate my life or something, IDK.
I would appreciate it if you did call me (please e-mail me the phone number you'd be calling from beforehand, so I'll know to watch for that, and you won't have to go to voicemail).
I am not a pitiful person, and I do not want you to think of me that way, Sweetheart.
|August 23, 2010 - 10:04pm
When I said you need help for your reunion, I kind of meant your fellow classmates. I mean, neither your congregation, nor myself went to Manchester High, you and your classmates did.
What awards were you hoping to get at graduation? If your high school was like mine they probably only had one award for every category, they can't give the awards to everyone. It saddens me how, ten years later, you still seem to just be so bitter and unappreciative of your graduation. Can you really think of nothing good about the ceremony, even to this day? I mean, if you had gotten an award, wouldn't the other person who didn't get the award feel bad instead of you? And you really wouldn't shake anyone's hand? My school President and Principle weren't always my favorite people but I sure respected them, and when they put out their hands at my graduation I shook them proudly because they worked very hard to provide an environment where I could get a good education. It seems like if something isn't perfect for you then you just don't accept anything about it at all - just like how you don't want to try any of the solutions I suggest.
But enough of that, let's talk about the reunion some more. As I said, I doubt the principle has contact info for most of your class, because they've all probably moved and changed numbers in the past ten years, and the school would have no reason to keep accurate contact info for people who have already graduated. (Some schools, like mine, throw out their contact info for students after they leave the school, so they have nothing at all.) I know trolls will probably try to give you false positives and lure you into traps if you make a video, but seriously, I think it is the best way for you to get in touch with your old classmates. Like I said, I will help you filter out the false from the true responses - I want to put emphasis on that, because I don't want you to get the impression from my last email that I won't help you at all; I am definitely willing to help you out with this. I just wanted you to take the first step and do it. But once you're underway, we're in it together, okay? Tell you what, why don't you make a prototype video and just send it to me? Not one to release, but I can watch it and give you advice on it, help you with things to say, and such. That way you can make a new video afterwards that's made right. Tell you what, get that to me by Thursday, please. Thursday at 9:00pm.
And don't worry about sounding pitiful for remembering old times sweetie, that's not what I meant. We all love to reminisce about good times in our past, and I want to hear more things about your past, your past has a huge part in making you who you are. When I said you had kind of a "pity me" attitude, what I meant was that you didn't seem to appreciate what you currently do have - and you have a lot more than a lot of people - and that sometimes you seem to want to keep complaining about what you have even when you're offered a solution. That's all I meant by it.
Anyway, how is the trolling forum thing going? I was poking around there today and found this thread where they're talking about your playstation again, take a look: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=82
Also, there was this weird thread: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=67
Well, anyway, get me that prototype video by Thursday so that I can critique it and point out things that might be exploitable by trolls so we can remove them for the final product. Keep a strong heart sweetie, we'll get through this. You just need to take the first step through the door, I'll be waiting to hold your hand on the other side. <3
|August 23, 2010 - 10:09pm
Oh, before I go to bed, since you missed the deadline originally, let me say I want you to get that picture of my fantasy to me by Friday at 9:00pm, like I asked. That should give you time to get me the prototype video by Thursday and then draw up the picture on Friday. I look forward to seeing it, sweetie! ;)
|August 24, 2010 - 8:23pm
As I type this e-mail, it is being uploaded onto the MegaUploader; you'll likely get the e-mail with the link right before I send this message. I am attaching some photos I thought may be good for the video, including one I actually hold up in this one. I await your valued opinions. :)
I will leave the video uploaded until about 9:00 PM tomorrow, or right after I receive your confirmation of having successfully downloaded the video file.
For the Graduation topic,... counting the blessings... I was able to greet Tiffany for the last time then; the ceremony went without any casualties; my family, Tiffany, and my teacher, Mrs. Johnson, were there to offer condolences and support for me; I got my Bible from the Reverend Shin as a Graduation gift. That's all I can think of. I was hoping for an award for my Talents; either in ART or MATH at least.
I think the Ceremony was Televised, so I wouldn't be surprised if my Faux Paux of an emotional outburst when I got my Diploma was a Highlight on the News that night. Yes, I Really Did Not shake anyone's hand back then. If I had the chance, I would like to see the video, because I didn't have the bird's-eye-view of the event. I feel ashamed of myself for how I acted then; my father recently told me that he was still ashamed of me of what I did then too. He said I disgraced the family. :_(
Principal Koste and Assistant, Mr. Don Skeen, and everyone else at Manchester High were all very good people, and I did, and still do, respect them all. If I could have it to do ALL over again, I WOULD definitely shake their hands.
The Troll Forum; I do not know anyone named Reggie, and I have informed the people of Sony of the Forum, starting from the confession on this page, http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=77.
As for smashing up the Trolls' efforts from the Forum, I have no idea what to say or do; what are you expecting or suggesting that I'd say or do?
Anyway, I await your opinions and thoughts of the "Prototype" Video. And I'm drawing in my head the image for the Circle Bang fantasy. Thank you very much for your valued support.
Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart. :)
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