Mailbag 4

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Uploaded to the CWCipedia on 25 November 2009, Mailbag 4 included letters from several Christians, a white knight, a girl with an obsession with plants and an apparent Satanist.

While originally slated to be answered on the 26th, Chris opted to wait until the 27th. As expected, Chris moved several letters to the Rejected Mailbag. Unexpectedly, he then answered some of the moved letters anyway. His responses continue to be very short, bordering on completely useless.

Highlights from this batch include Chris continuing to refuse that Aspergers is anything like high-functioning autism, stating outright that he is "close minded on the subject," discussing strap-ons with a young Christian girl, and giving a completely insane lesson on imaginary anatomy.

Answered

The case of the vanishing sweethearts

From: Fernando Guerrero <fernando.thecourier.guerrero@gmail.com>

Hey my name is Izzy and I am a BIG BIG BIG FAN of your comics, and I would love to know more about the characters and cwcville area.

1) What happened to Sailor Magatune and Blanca? I really liked those characters, and I've noticed that they out of nowhere they just dissapeared, and I really liked those characters.

2) Have you ever tried making a few conflicts between Rosechu and Sonichu to create drama (and maybe attract more readers)

3) Could you maybe introduce a conflict that doesn't involve a villian (Maybe you can have some kind of mutant plant that slowly takes over the town and piercies the ground, destroys buildings, eats people, poisons the air with a gas that only affects sonichus and rosechus, and is eventually stopped by some new character)

4) And this is just a personal question, but do you like Italian food? Because I love Italian food.

Anyways if you read this it would be awesome if you reply to my e-mail :-)

Love, your biggest fan Izzy

Thank you. Megan moved away, and as told at the end of Book 8, Blanca ran off with her boyfriend in Space. Possibly. I'll take that suggestion into consideration. Italian food is good. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:37, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Trent Larson: Junkie DA

From: Trent Larson <trentlarson@live.com>

Chris,

Before I found out about Sonichu, I was living in my parent's basement at age 24 and spending all the disability money I got for my bipolar disorder on crystal meth. I'd spend up to 18 hours a day just playing Hentai games and chain smoking. But after learning about Sonichu and how you live, I got off the drugs and (against all odds) found a job as a paralegal. I'm currently sharing an apartment with my wonderful new girlfriend Courtney and attending law school, and have plans to work my way up to the level of assistant district attorney.

Thank you, Chris-chan!

Trent Larson

Congratulations; may God and Jesus continue to bless you in your success. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:37, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid

From: Sam Higgins <higgywithit@yahoo.com>

Hi Chrischan. My name is Sam, Im a Methodist, and Ive been reading Sonichu for some time now. I love your comic because it is very action packed but still relays good morals and values. Ive been a big fan of Sonic and Pikachu separately since I was a kid so its cool to see them all combined and grown up in a mature way. My favorite issue was the Spring Break comic.

I am writing to you because I have a personal problem that I hope you can help me with. Sometimes I have impure thoughts. For instance, just the other day, I was walking home and I started thinking of mens butts. I didn't want to and am not a homosexual (IM STRAIGHT) but sometimes men's butts or worse enter my head. Sometimes I feel like Im all alone in this. Im too afraid to ask my friends or even my pastor or dad because I dont want them to think Im a bad person or a homosexual since I am a good, honest man who loves women (I get Hustler monthly) but I dont know what to do about these crazy, evil thoughts I sometimes get of pickles and ducks. Yuck! It doesnt help that some bullies call me a gay or homo sometimes. It makes me so mad but I dont know what to do. What do you suggest? Is there any way to stop this? Do you think Im alone with this problem? Have you ever experienced these problems?

Thank you for your patronage. First off, should such images enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:55, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Admission of plagiarism

From: Ryan Burton <bokonist22@gmail.com>

Hey Chris I'm a long-time reader of your comics. My brother showed them to me and I've tried to keep up as much as I can. I can't believe you're just giving away comics out of the kindness and goodness of your soul. Anyways, I was wondering what kind of activities do you do to get the creative juices flowing? I'm a writer myself and I often find it difficult to think of things to write about. Can you help me?

Sincerely,

Todd Phillips

I take it one moment at a time and let the story pieces come to me. Even if they are sometimes borrowed from a tv show or movie. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:55, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Creative writing

From: Alex May <alex.may@gmail.com>

1. Have you ever considered taking a creative writing courses?

2. What is your favorite Goosebumps story? Mine is the one where the guy turns into a bee.

I have taken creative writing courses at Piedmont Virginia Community College as part of the queue towards my Computer Aided Drafting and Design Degree and Certificate. "The Haunted Mask". --ChrisChanSonichu 04:55, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Self-Help Books

From: Nate Hughes <quickzta68@yahoo.com>

Dear Christian,

I am on my brother Nate's e-mail account (I don't have e-mail) but I just needed to tell you that I LOVE the Sonichu comics so I begged him to let me use it. I have a few questions. I'm aware that you are looking for a job, how's that coming? I'm not having an easy time finding a job because of the recession...are you? Also, do you have any pictures of you in your Wendy's uniform? If you do, can you please upload it? I find men in uniform to be SO sexy. Lastly, Nate tried to find "How To Talk To Girls" at Barnes & Noble, but it was sold out. Do you have any other suggestions on books for a girlfriend-free boy?

Thanks & Love,

Jessica Hughes

The job hunt is going okay, thank you. I do not have a picture, plus it was just a shirt and a hat; not that much of a big uniform. I don't have any other titles in mind to suggest, but I recommend looking under the "Social", "Relationship" or "Self-Help" books at the Barnes & Noble, or get recommendations from the employees. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:55, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Steroids are bad

From: Dick Loserman <sentientmachine11@gmail.com>

Hello Chris,

Ivan again, Thanks for responding to Email. I will try to stand more and Play this "Guitar Hero" you reccomend. You did not answer question about bench press. "How much can you bench press?" This is important to my training so i know what to shoot for when in gym. Also, how do you feel about steroids? I have been using them but still cannot gain Chris levels of mass. I don't want the body of Greek God. I want body like Christian Weston Chandler, for none stronger.

Sincerely,

Ivan Drago.

I bench about 50 to 100 lbs. Steroids are Bad; get off them. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:10, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Controlling guns

Chris, controlling his gun.
From: <oddbjoernbalci@gmail.com>

What's your opinion on gun control?

Your fan, hayrettin

I agree with gun control.

Friend zone legislation

From: Cpt. Wyvern <masterwyvern@googlemail.com>

Dear Mr. Chandler,

If you could change the law, just once, what would you change?

Regards, Wyvern

I am uncertain.

This was later changed to:

I would remove the "Law" of the "Friend Zone", because I feel that it is just wrong to not even attempt to have anything beyond friendship, especially if the man and the woman are both comfortable with each other and are close. --ChrisChanSonichu 00:57, 29 November 2009 (CET)

Ass-kissing and ass-kicking

Violence: not just for men anymore!
From: - - <not_at_all_foster@hotmail.co.uk>

Hey Chris, greetings from across the pond. (That's the UK, incase you thought someone was actually on the opposite side of a pond!). I'm a big fan of your work and I've been really looking forwards to the next installment of Sonichu.

To pass the time between comics I've been doing some drawings on my PC and one day I got inspiration (which I know is a Big Variable!) to draw Rosechu beating the crap out of a horrible, evil, smelly Jerkop. So I hope you enjoy! It took me a few hours to draw.

So anyway, I'm not really that good at writing long e-mails so I'll just leave it at that. Thanks for all the comics so far!

~ Josh

It's okay, thank you for your submission.

Why no backgrounds

From: Steve Steve <2xevets@gmail.com>

Hey Christian! I really like Sonichu, but there's one thing about it that kinda bugs me - the fact that there's no backgrounds on some of the pages. How is anybody supposed to know what's going on if the characters are just sort of standing in a white void all the time?

I give the background reference just before that piece of the story, so it should be obvious where they are; just go back a page or two.

Chris the otaku

From: David F Smith <dsmith@femc.net>

Do you have any plans to visit any American anime conventions in the coming year, like Animazement or Otakon or Anime Mid-Atlantic? It seems like that might be a good way to meet and interact with your fans in person.

DFS.

I am thinking about it.

Dissociative identity

From: distraction@mail.org

Hey! I have some questions about you as a person, rather than my previous questions which were sonichu-related. 1. In a video around august, you seemed to have another personality, christopher. Have you been diagnosed with split personality disorder? You've seemed pretty healthy since, as if the split personality has been forgotten. Is he still there? has he been fixed? Some people were telling me it was a lie but I think they're just trolls. Still, they make me worry :( If it was a lie, come out and tell us, Chris! Your fans will forgive you, we know you're the warrior of truth and honesty :)

2.I found some documents that say you used to take anger management classes when you were in piedmont virginia community college. I have anger problems myself but can't afford the classes, can you tell me what the anger management classes were like and methods you use to de-stress?


Once again, thank you very much- I'm your biggest fan : D Garfunkel Head of the northern ireland-based sonichu fanclub

It was a lie to momentarily derail the trolls. I did take and anger management class; it was like any circle-group class. Take a deep breath or two, count your blessings, don't let the minuscule things bother you, and take it one moment at a time. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:10, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Chris the close-minded

From: Michael Parker <mp53718@gmail.com>

Hello Christian,

I just saw your response to my earlier email. Sadly, you are very mistaken about Asperger's and Autism. If you read the wiki (as you suggested others do), it would clear it up for you. They are both related to social interaction between people.

However, the nurses really enjoy your comic and seem to think you are a sweet, honest and good natured person. I thought you would like to know.

Sincerely,

Dr. Michael Parker

Tell your nurses I said thank you. I still do not care to look; I am closed-minded on the topic of the two being same, because THEY ARE NOT. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:10, 28 November 2009 (CET)

More hypocrisy

From: Eric McBride <chrishansen317@yahoo.com>

Hey Chris,

I'm a 19 year old STRAIGHT male from California, and I'd first of all like to say I LOVE your comics. I always loved Sonic and Pikachu while growing up and seeing them combined as One into Sonichu is like a gift straight from God and Jesus himself. I do hope that your video games get made. Thank you Chris for creating such a great comic. I look forward to every update!!

But I have a Problem. One of my friends at school does not like God and Jesus and even said they weren't real! This caused me Stress and offended me. I also fear that he may be in fact going off the straight path. I need your help Chris, I need to help my friend.

Do you think showing him your comics would help?

Thanks,

Eric Aguirre

I don't know, but you may share my comics with your friend if you wish. But do not let his opinions and disbeliefs bother you; every person is entitled to their own individual opinions and beliefs. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:10, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Hail Satan

The devil wonders how Chris could possibly miss all the obvious hints he just dropped.
From: Samael Morningstar <samlmorningstar@gmail.com>

Hello Chris,

I understand you consider your self to be a Christian. However, I feel that your beliefs are more suited to a diferent religion. Why not pick something that more accuratly suits your views on sex and desire? Something that allows you to fufil your urges, be they artistic, sexual, or revenge.

I was once a follower of your God, but after enduring years of their hypocritical, righteousness judgment, I saw the flaws in their beliefs and found something better. I shed the chains that held me back and became myself.

Look around and subscribe to something that lets you be you. Find a belief system that values the basic human needs of emotion, sex, vengeance, intelligence, and art.

I would be happy to share my beliefs with you, should you be dissatisfied with what your parents forced upon you.

-Samael Morningstar

I disagree with your idea; I am comfortable with my religion, and I do not plan on changing it ever. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:10, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Rejected Mailbag

Why Chris hates pickles

From: Gourmet Pickle <gourmetpickle@yahoo.com>

Hello Chris. How's the creation of the Sonichu universe going? I have two questions that have been bothering me recently.

1. What's so bad about pickles? Personally, I love them.

2. This one is very serious. Is it really possible to catch gayness from a homo? I ask because my brother is a gay. We're really close and hang out a lot. I am a straight male such as your self, and I was hoping to get some insight on whether or not it's safe to hang out with my bro anymore.

Have a great day and please respond.

They taste terrible, and they look like dicks; even more disgusting. Do not follow those characteristic examples from your brother. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:36, 28 November 2009 (CET)

In which Chris is rude to a young girl

From: grrrlpowaanow@aol.com

i love your comic, chris. i am a 14 year old christian girl (raised devout baptist), and let me tell you, there is not enough christian literature out there, so i am glad you are making your comics. i do have some questions about them.

1. i really really LOVE your mailbag feature. do you plan to keep it up for a while? please say you will!

2. when will the sonichu game be released? i thought it was supposed to be out by now. i asked santa to get it for me for christmas but my dad said they didn't make that game

3. i noticed all the chaotic combo have parents. wild has a mom and a dad. bubbles had just a mom (or was swampert her dad?). punchy just had a dad. magi-chan just had a dad. angelica, however, has two mommies (two female nuns). as a christian woman, i am offended that angelica was raised in such an immoral household. a lot of chauvinistic pigs think lesbians are hot as in pretty, but god thinks they're hot as in theyre going to hell (as well as anyone who enjoys lesbian pornography or any pornography for that matter). i thought this was supposed to be a good christian comic! so why are there lesbians in it? and when will you remove these heathens from this comic?

4. the relationship between zapina and simonla seems unnatural. simonla acts as a bad, unchristian rolemodel in sonichu 9, where she basically encourages the (UNDERAGE) zapina to have pre-marital sex. pre-marital sex is wrong with the bible and wrong with god, chris. when will you fix this error?

5. whether theyre married or not, it is wrong for sonichu and rosechu to be having sex in the comics (or in any picture or photograph). the bible is very clear that intercourse is meant to be between a man and a woman, not a man, a woman, and an entire audience of readers, especially when those readers are potentially underage. ive even seen pictures of them where rosechu was a man and sonichu was a man and it is definitely against the bible for man and man to lay together. when will you remove these pornographies from the face of the internet? pornography is a SIN. god sends people to hell for it. your christian readership deserves nothing less than sonichu and rosechu to have a perfect spotlessly clean presence on the internet, and yet theyre being sullied by pictures drawn by you in your style of them engaging in sex.

6. the scene where rosechu press her bikini area against the mans face in the 4cent garbage building comic was disgusting, revolting, and a complete mockery to all women everywhere. i almost stopped reading the comic after that issue. when will you correct the ending to reflect a more christian, pro-female rights message?

thank you for reading my questions. sorry if there were a lot but i look forward to answers

Yes, I will continue to answer the fanmail in the mailbag often. Unfortunately it does not exist yet, but I am in talks with the videogame companies to get it started. Neither Nun were lesbian; they are just like most Nuns, withdrawn from sex and married to God. Rosechu was wearing a strap-on in that drawing, of which I was blackmailed into doing a few months ago, and HOW do YOU think you were created to be born; Your Mom and Dad Had Sex to create you. Sex, regardless of positions or accessories, between man and woman is okay and natural. Rosechu temporarily turned into a wild beast, and she would not have been thinking when she did that. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:44, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Chris the sellout

From: Sexy Joe Stalin <sexy.joe.stalin@live.com>

Chris, What happened to the Sonichu I used to love? Fame has changed you, man.

Sincerely, Sexy Joe Stalin (a fan of the REAL Sonichu)

Gabe Newell: white knight

From: Gabe Newell <gaben1962@hotmail.co.uk>

Hello Christian, this is Gabe.

Some friends of mine showed me your 'Sonichu' creation during my second lunch break at work yesterday, and I felt it necesarry to inform you that despite what you may think, Sonichu is not an original character.

First, Sonichu is an amalgamation of Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu, and nothing more. He is not original, nor can you copyright his image. Nor will you ever be able to sell 'official' Sonichu merchandise- to do that would land you in a lawsuit for copyright infringement. Second, SEGA and Nintendo will never, ever make a Sonichu game with, or for you. No matter how many 'fans' you may have, this will never change. You have been made aware of this fact many times before, yet you refuse to acknowledge it. And finally, for someone who is searching for a 'boyfriend-free girl', as you say, you are going the wrong way about it. Girls aren't interested in guys in their late twenties who live with their parents and live off of taxpayer's money. They aren't interested in guys who spend most of their time playing video games, drawing comics, and playing with transformer toys, especially when their bedroom is full of said toys and smells strange. And, they aren't interested in your Sonichu necklace. You aren't going to find anyone if you continue iving as you are now. And, if you intend to care for a wife and daughter, as you do, you must get a real job. Drawing Sonichu comics is not a real job. Doing chores is not a real job. Neither is stacking shelves in a supermarket.

If you want to change, you must put away Sonichu, and find a source of income instead of waiting for the welfare check to arrive every month. Then, I suggest finding a new place to live; you can't live with mom and dad forever.

Do yourself a favour, and take the advice given.


-Gabe


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For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Mailbag 4