Mailbag 37 is the second of four Mailbags Chris began answering on 12 January in a marathon-style event. Already angry over the Asperchu ads and the set of questions from Mailbag 36, Chris's responses got shorter and angrier as the questions piled up.
It's okay to kill trolls, it's not like they're people or anything.
|From: Charlene Dominguez <email@example.com.
If the Bible says "Thou shall not kill" how come you just killed 100 people in your comics? Is "Thou shall not kill" one of the parts of the Bible you ignore if you feel like it? I hope you enjoy burning eternally in the searing fires of hell.
- Charlene Dominguez
|Those people were TROLLS, and I was taking down 4-Cent Garbage and their villians within it. I Have SHED a tear for those, if any, INNOCENTS who were within the building and were hurt or killed.|
|From: Keith Keithson <firstname.lastname@example.org>
|I have changed the law, and have requested Magi-Chan to cease that portion of Mind-Scanning. He was ONLY TOO GLAD to not have to look into those scenarios.|
He's not a terrorist, he's a tyrant
|From: Sammi Maker <email@example.com>
Why won't you allow free elections in Cwcville? Do you hate America, Christopher? Do you hate freedom? You sound more and more like a terrorist to me, who doesn't allow free elections in his town except for a council that do absolutely nothing and blows up buildings, destroying innocent lives who only "crime" was being funny on the internet. Are you a terrorist, Chris, or should I say, RICARDO?
As a fan of the comic, I am a citizen of Cwcville. As a citizen of Cwcville, I stand with my brother and sisters in DEMANDING FREE MAYORAL ELECTIONS. DOWN WITH CHRIS. HE'S NOT THE MAYOR. WE DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM. WE DON'T NEED A KING. WE NEED ELECTIONS. LET US VOTE. LET US VOTE. LET US VOTE. LET US VOTE.
|We hold elections for the Board of Director Members. I am not a terrorist.|
Meg Griffin: pushy bitch
|From: Leslie Triballo <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I've been a fan for a while, but I'm noticing a disturbing trend in your behavior. I noticed in a recent mailbag that you flipped out when someone called you a "bawwwtistic" or a "balljizztic" or something, yet in a recent video in which you addressed to Alec Benson Leary, you had no problem calling his affliction "Ass Burgers." Why is it okay for you to make fun of others, but not okay for them to make fun of you? Making fun of others is not something a noble gentleman does.
Also, you seem to be wishing death upon people for minor grievances, such as putting up ads on your site you disagree with, or another webcomic artist trying to make a name for himself. It's not a sign of a healthy, stable, mature individual to wish something as terrible as death on someone over a small slight. These people have families...have you thought about what they would go through to lose a loved one?
Honestly, I'm not sure this is the kind of comic I want to be reading anymore. The subject matter certainly isn't for kids (I've already told my younger cousins not to read it because there's too much sex and brutal violence) and the author is showing quite a violent side. This used to be a happy fun comic, but it's devolving into hate-filled rants, tirades, and infidelity (I noticed that your character is now cheating on his wife-to-be with Meg Griffin...what nerve!).
One good thing that's happened though is that the ads you've run have introduced me to Asperchu. I think you need to take some notes from Leary and what he does. He reaches out to his fans and gives kids a good role model. I hope you can save your comic before you lose all of your fans.
Best of luck to you, --Leslie
|Megan PUSHED HERSELF ONTO ME! Asperchu is NOT MINE WHATSOEVER!|
Meg Griffin: wicked shemale hedgehog
|From: Mark Fuller <email@example.com>
I'm a big fan of Family Guy. I saw where you had Meg Griffin in the comic and I've got to say that I'm a little disgusted by it.
You do realize the Meg Griffin is 17 years old. Seth Macfarlane made her 17 and is very specific about her age in the show. The show also doesn't progress naturally (she was 15 in 1999, and turned 17 in 2007, and is still 17 as of 2010). You also can't just wish her 18+ because she's not your character, she's Seth's, and he's purposely made her 17.
Not only is what you did illegal in Virginia, since the age of consent is 18, but it also makes her ten years younger than her, which is kind of sick considering she's a teenager and you're practically an old man. Pedophilia is wrong, Christopher. You should apologize to the fans for promoting such a perversity.
|SHE PUSHED HERSELF ONTO ME! And look at the page that followed, SHE turned out to be Silvana Rosechu in Disguise BEING A TROLL.|
Chris is strong!
|From: Alex May <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Hi Chris, big fan here,
I'm aware that you are incredibly strong. Have you ever considered getting into boxing, wrestling, or ultimate fighting? I've seen your video showing off your moves, and you clearly have the strength and agility to get in the ring and kick some butts! (pardon the language!!) Plus, once the trolls see your skills, they'll be even more afraid of crossing your than they are now!
|I will consider that.|
So basically yes
|From: Gary Larson <email@example.com>
What did you mean when you said "old fashion?" Does this mean you don't think there should be interracial marriages?
|No I do not mean that. I mean Old Fashioned as in the Classic white-marry-white type of thing.|
|From: Hamsty the Hamster <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Stop losing fans. Thanks.
|I am working on that.|
Sonichu sucks so damn bad
Dear Christian Weston Chandler,
Your Sonichu comic has been steadily getting worse and worse from issue one. From now on I will only read Asperchu comics. I can no longer call myself a fan of Sonichu. Your art and writing have been getting more and more atrocious and there seems to be a naked Rosechu on every other page (yes I am a straight male but I don't get off on multicolored hedgehogs like you.) If you want to regain your fanbase I suggest you get back to your roots.
Fuck Sonichu. I just hope Asperchu and his joyboys take your evil slanderous site DOWN.
Yours Truly, Niku Ringo