Jackie E-mails 15
This page covers emails exchanged between Chris and Jackie from 16 September to 23 September 2010. Chris asks Jackie not to demand so many videos, not because it's too much effort, but to protect her identity. Jackie points out that Chris is still an addict. Chris disagrees, so that has to be good enough, since her opinion MUST be inferior to his. Chris has been buying more games and spent most of his monthly tugboat already. The job hunt has been completely forgotten. Chris makes a bold speech about cyber-bullies and online trolls, all about himself, naturally.
|September 16, 2010 - 7:34pm
We all learn from our past mistakes. I've made a lot myself with my past times on the internet like you did here. All we can do is just not to think about it and move forward in life. Chalk this to another thing you and I have in common; there's naked pics of us on the internet, yet they ended up there by mistake (or in some of my cases, from deception, blackmail and spyware).
Jackie, I am proud of you for sharing your honesty and emotions with me; your story shall remain strictly confidential between you and me. And I am here for you, as your trusted Sweetheart. LOL :)
I am happy I could make you happy, Sweetheart. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
As for your contest, it is a fun idea, but I feel posting daily on the YouTube is too much. As a strict rule on internet safety: Keep your personal information to yourself and not make it go public. But I have a better idea that I feel will allow you to see me on the daily fun as well. I will take photographs daily of thing(s) I'm doing and such, and e-mail them to you. And in each of those e-mails, I will confide a secret with you.
There's too much of me on the internet these days, and I do not want to put any more stuff about me online that the trolls can toy with to make my reputation worse, and even worse bring more shame to my family.
And I want a daily secret and current photographs from you as well in response to each of my photo(s) and secret(s) I send you daily. Keeping all that in mind with the rest of your rules, you agree to my amendments, and I will "participate in your contest". Okay, Jackie-Heart? :)
|September 16, 2010 - 8:19pm
Chris, are you ashamed of our love? We have nothing to hide. I didn't mean I want you to post super-confidential stuff. Just little fun things. Like, your favorite food, or a fond memory, or something. Is thirty seconds a day really too much to ask? All I wanted is for you to put on a simple costume or something, turn on the camera, dance a little and say hi and say a little "secret", and that's it. Once a day. I don't get why you won't do that for me.
In fact, I feel a little hurt that you would put down my contest and try to take it over. I'm doing this contest so you can win me - all of me, Chris. I want us to fuck baby, I want to pleasure you - but as a reward. Haven't you put me through enough emotional turmoils, enough ups and downs? This is a very small request, Chris. ESPECIALLY seeing as you have now prematurely seen me naked. Please, Chris. Don't make me beg. I want you to do this contest. If you do it, and you play by my rules, I promise to reward you. Will secrets, will pictures, and with my sex. But you have to show some effort and what you replied with made me cry! I am still crying all over my key board. I don't want to cry! Do you want me to cry?? I would hope not… but then again, I hoped you would do my contest....
Now my night is ruined... :'( :'( :'(
|September 17, 2010 - 8:08pm
Chris, why haven't you written back to me yet?? I was crying so much yesterday that now my cat got upset and ran out of the house, and now I can't find him! I'm afraid my cat ran away!! Where have you been, Chris??
|September 18, 2010 - 3:48pm
I've had a busy day yesterday running errands with my family and such. Oh my god, I am soo sorry to hear that you lost your cat. I pray that you'll find him/her soon and safe. The best you can do is print and put up a few flyers with a photo on it and your best contact info.
And I did not realize that you only wanted Little Details; I thought you meant Really, Deep Secrets that NO One Else would know. I am soo sorry for the misunderstanding. Since that is the case, I Will make the short, fun videos for your contest. You have your man. ;) And a different silly costume per day is a bit much, unless I'm misunderstanding that detail, and you really mean different sets of clothing from what I normally wear. Please verify that for me.
Good News, the Sale of my Sega Consoles went through successfully; $120 easy. Since we're delaying our meet, though, I put half of it into my bank, and gave the other half to my father to help quell the debt a bit.
I also have an idea, and a suggestion for you, for an article for your School Paper, and a way you and I can meet sooner. :) You can do an article on Internet Safety and Cyber-Bully/Troll Protection, and since you know a Big Time Victim of years of this torment (me, LOL), you can personally interview me while I offer my own personal views, tips for safety and protection, etc. This would work soo goood for you and me; a great article for you to write, you and I can meet sooner, and this article would help give me a better reputation over what's been said on the internet. Think it over and get back to me on that.
One more thing, even though I did get a sneak peak of you, it did give me something better of you to jack off to, and even better; I've been jacking off sometimes with you in my mind, imagination and heart, and now I have a better perception of your pretty breasts. Plus, this allowed me to see your figure, and let me tell you, you have a Great Figure, Jackie. :) Take everything I'm confiding into you right now as a big compliment, Sweetheart.
Also, I've attached photos of my room spread, and a new photo of myself in a fun shirt I purchased from Spencers a few months ago, for you. Look at me, I'm an Archer, and I'm aiming my arrow at you, because I want you and I Love You.
I'll bug ya later, Sweetheart.
|September 18, 2010 - 5:54pm
Oh honey, I'm sorry we got that confused. I guess I wasn't clear the first time I brought up the "secret" thing. Thank you so much for clearing it up for me. Whew, that's a load off my mind. As for the costumes, I also didn't mean for you to do anything too extravagant for those, since they'd be daily and of course it would be a pretty big hassle if you had to make up something big for each day. I was just thinking you could do some simple little costume piece each day, like maybe paint your face up one day, or wear a cape around your shoulders, or put a paper mask on, or something like that. Nothing too fancy. I'm sure I can think of some simple suggestions along the way, too. :) Tell you what, I'll come up with a list of ideas that I think will work.
So, I'm glad that you liked the picture of me. So you jack off with me in mind sometimes? What other things do you think of when you do it? ;) I guess Lars' treachery had at least one good effect. I've been trying to write him to tell him off for what he did, but I don't have his number anymore and the email address I have for him seems to be invalid now because my emails are getting bounced back. I really want to lay into him, though. I wish I knew how to locate him or contact him. Any suggestions on how to find a person? He's probably laughing to himself right now about releasing my pictures. Worthless prick. Agh, he just gets me so angry and upset all at the same time. I'm glad I have you to vent to about it, though, sweetie :)
You know what? I really like your article idea! I have a midterm project coming up that's based around doing an interview, and I was going to do something internet-related anyway; I think this would be a really interesting path to take, I'll tell my professor about it on Monday. In the meantime, I'm going to start putting together a structure for the interview, questions I can ask, that sort of thing. By my next email I should have some preliminary questions I can ask you and you can give me some detailed answers, and then we can build it from there. Unfortunately, like I said I really don't think I'm going to have time to come home again before November 1st, but look at it this way: If I'm integrating you into my schoolwork, then we'll be that much closer for the duration! I'm sorry sweetie, I know it's tough not seeing me, I don't like not seeing you either, but I'm just getting so swamped this term :( But it's only just going to be a few weeks before I'm definitely home anyway, and starting on the 1st I'll have some extended leave time from school so we can spend ALL our time together :)
Thanks for the pictures of your room, I was kind of hoping for a video of it, but these are still cool. Looks like there's a lot of interesting stuff with history in there. I have a few questions about some of it:
Well anyway, I've got some other homework to do right now, but I'm going to start crafting the questions for my interview with you. I'm really excited about this!! I mean, people have written articles on cyberbullying before, but you've got kind of a unique perspective that I don't think has ever really been brought into such an article before. I'll write to you soon!! :) :) :)
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
P.S. My cat is fine now, turns out he was just hiding in the bushes at a house a block away, they called and let me know. The mischievous little scamp is back home safe and sound. :)
|September 19, 2010 - 1:54pm
I'm happy that you're happy again, and that you liked my suggestion for the interview.
To answer your questions, A) my mind is random, and during masturbation, it can be a pain while I'm concentrating on having you mounted on me with your hair waving about, the pleasured look on your face, your breasts bouncing, and your bod going up and down. :) Aside from the imagination-play, whatever else current-topic can randomly pop in for a short moment for one or few seconds. When the side-thought goes away, my mind goes blank, and I have to concentrate to put you back up there, but it's a fairly quick recovery. B) That is a pastel drawing I drew in High School of a likely future for me; me and my future wife (physical appearance to actual future not necessarily applicable) and our child watching television. That's on the right half of the drawing; on the left half I'm working at a job on an assembly line. C) The wands with the spheres are my Playstation Move Motion Controllers; I got those, plus a Navigation Controller and Sports Champions recently after preordering them with the HUGE Credit I got from trading in a ton of Software; mostly from my Game Boy Advance collection.
I'm going to go off-topic for a bit, here. I have been playing video games ALL of my life from after I was born, starting from a Commodore 64 Computer. I have been working more on being social in real life and other social activities, and I am looking to do more of such and then some with you in the near future. I was very social-able in Middle and High School. And I am looking for more job opportunities to apply for. The point is, Video Games have been a Major Part of my whole life and who I am, but real-life duties always will take higher priority over them. Plus I have been giving you my heart-filled energy and compassion, and I have recently sold away the vast majority of my Older Consoles and their software I've been holding onto for soo long. I will sometimes get a new piece of software for my current console, but it is NOT Often. I am asking you to not judge me for my gaming ways, because I am a LOT more than that, as you are aware.
I apologize for going into detail like that, but I felt it was applicable to establish that point. So, in a sense, I am blowing off the steam your way in confidence.
Going back to the Q&A, D) I do have a ton of VHS Tapes in those small boxes down there. NOT so many home movies; it's 99% TV Shows and Movies; about 50-75% being Cartoons and Animation. Currently, I am without a VCR that has a working VHS-Playing capacity, and I am looking for a fully operational replacement for an inexpensive price. And E) that pink thing is a Pillow, which is shaped to simulate a pair of womanly breasts with erect nipples. I got it at Spencers a while back. It is good for neck support while I slumber.
I am happy that we got the misunderstandings for the YouTube vids you want me to make later cleared up too. Inexpensive, fun things I can put on for fun. I've come up with a few comical skit ideas, but I'll let you wait to see them for yourself. ;)
Revenge is a dish best served cold. The recent situation with Lars and the photograph(s) is nothing major. I'd suggest just letting it go and moving on with your life. Normally, though I would suggest ignoring the Trolls, but if you feel like you really need to lash out at Lars, then I would say inquire this "Robert" person about where he found the photograph, specifically, with the webpage's address. It is also possible that "Robert" may actually be Lars going by an alias, but do not be sure until you've found more. You may also try googling Lars by his full name and see if you can find his current e-mail address. But I warn you, should you contact "Robert", be wary of his possible Trolling/Cyber-Bully methods; do not respond in anger, and if you feel like he is a "Dead End" towards getting to Lars, then STOP communications with him, Block his e-mail, and Do Not Reply.
I am reminded of a FlipNote I've watched on the Hatena through my DSi, you can view it here... http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016?in=user I also have it saved on my DSi's SD Card. It speaks truth on the Trolls and essentially dealing with them by just Ignoring Them.
I look forward to the interview, I am free to drive over to your place to do the interview in person, but Q&A over e-mail is cool.
|September 19, 2010 - 8:20pm
Chris, I'm kind of surprised that you brought up your video game addiction, that came out of the blue. But I appreciate you feeling like you can talk to me about it and vent your feelings to me. Since you brought it up, I'll reply with my understanding of the situation:
Video games have definitely been a huge part of your life and still are; you say that you are getting over your addiction, but that is obviously not true. You say that you have recently sold off so much of your older games - which is good - then you used the credit you got from that to just go buy new video game toys anyway. And you couldn't be bothered to work up a little spending money to go to Otakon, and you kept making up the excuse that your parents would have you arrested if you tried to come see, but it took you a short four days to work up $300 for a new PS3 when you wanted a new one, even though you told me you could go a long time without a PS3 and I asked you to do so.
So your addiction is every bit as strong as ever. But you know that, I know that, let's not talk about your unwillingness to change your habits since there's nothing new to say. Let's talk about the interview! You know, I was thinking to myself that email might not be the best way to conduct the interview, as we would have to wait for each others' replies and the question-and-answer process could take a long time. I think it would be really helpful if I could talk to you over Instant Messaging so that we can have the conversation in real-time. When would you be able to be online and do that with me, sweetie? I still have to put together a list of questions (Today was a busy day) but how about we do it Tuesday afternoon or evening?
I have to go for now, but I'll write more later sweetie!!
|September 20, 2010 - 6:15pm
Although, I feel uncertain with the IM situation, but I'm willing to try it. I think I still have AIM access through this e-mail of mine; I'll add your e-mail address and see if I can get a connection or something going there. On the other hand, doesn't your room over there have a phone? That can be a plan "B", a phone conversation. If we go with the phone conversation, I'll need the phone number's Area Code, so I can watch for it on my Cell's Caller ID.
Anyhoo, I appreciate your understanding of my gaming thing here, but I feel disagreement with still having a major addiction. I feel that after you and I get together in person, I will be spending a lot less time on my games. You see, I feel if I have you, a real person, my girlfriend and Sweetheart to better influence me to do more outside activities and such, things will work out well. The sooner I have you with me, the more I can get out of my house. Flipside, if I came to you over there, it's the same thing, but I'd be going to you. :)
I look forward to doing the interview and offering my thoughts to you for the article.
|September 20, 2010 - 7:01pm
I totally get where you're coming from on the gaming addiction thing, sweetie - bargaining is a very common way of avoidance when one has an addiction; that is to say, your attempt to bargain that "if you had me, then you'd stop playing games so much" is totally understandable. But that's why you have to leave your comfort zone and actually try to make things better now, rather then wait for some hypothetical situation where everything is perfect - because if you keep to that attitude, then even after we meet in person you'll have some new requirement that has to be met before you'll start working on your addiction, and then another, and then another, so on, etc. But breaking out of that bargaining addict's attitude is key to success - you can't count on me, or anyone else to just magically make your addiction go away. You have to do it yourself. And right now you're obviously still at a place where you don't want to get better, because you're still placing the onus on me to fix your addiction for you. I can't do that now, and I can't do it after we meet in person. The onus is yours, Chris. But I know you have the true strength and will to overcome your hurdle when you finally decide to step it up, sweetie. I have faith in you!! <3 <3 <3
Anyway, I don't really like the idea of using the phone for an interview. It's a lot easier to have a record of the conversation from the IM log so that I can better incorporate it into my paper; if we did it on the phone I'd be halting to write notes of your responses constantly. I added your email to my AIM list, you should add mine. Let's both be online tomorrow night at 9:00pm. That should give us plenty of time to talk together. And if we don't cover everything I'd like to, we can just continue it again another night! (We can talk more anyway even when I'm done doing the interview :)
Well, I'm going to start putting together some questions again. I don't want to have a huge script or anything for what we talk about, because I think it will flow better if we can have a natural conversation and let things come up as they become important. But I have some broad topics I'll want to bring up when we begin. And I'm sure you also have some ideas about the important subjects that you think need to be given priority, so you can bring those up to when we are doing it. I'll write more later, but I look forward to IMing tomorrow night, hon!!!
XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO
|September 21, 2010 - 5:33pm
I will be online tonight at about 8:45, and I'll wait for your IM on my AIM, and we'll see if we can successfully talk there.
In response to your first paragraph of the last e-mail, I did not mean to imply any "magical" riddance of my addiction with your presence or such. I meant that with you getting me out of the house more often to be with you and whatnot, I'd be doing more outside things away from my games. And After doing a great number of outside activities a number of times, Then my addiction may fade into something smaller. I do not have that many ideas of places or events I would enjoy for myself by myself. I have tried such with events like the concerts at Fridays After 5; by my lonesome, it wasn't all that swift for me; I need someone my age range like you to enjoy such things with and make me better enjoy them.
I have a lot of things to discuss with tonight for your article, in addition to your questions, so I should have a lot for the article for you. :) Plus, I have in-game photographed my TrollBusters, Cal and Dee Dee (Dee^2), their TrollBuster Truck (a cleaned and souped-up Garbage Truck), myself as an honorary TrollBuster, the sponser car, and a T-Shirt I have come up with for possible creation and promotional distribution to make people aware of the Trolls and protecting themselves from them. Attached are the photographs.
|September 22, 2010 - 8:27pm
So Samantha sent me an email talking about your recent discussions with her, she wrote to me to blow off some steam - she was mad because you've been lying to her repeatedly. And then she said YOU got offended at HER because she tried to call you out on your wrongdoing and that you claimed she was "raising her voice" every time she was simply standing up for herself; that's why she wrote me so angry. How come you don't want to talk to have your talks with her anymore? I mean, aside from myself she's kind of your only friend, and now you want to blow her off just because she stood up for herself and wouldn't just be a doormat to your disrespect? I guess if that's the way you want to go, by all means, but you complain a lot how much trouble you have making new friends, so I don't get why you want to just toss away one that's been trying very hard to help you. Well, since she wrote to me I thought I should let you know.
Anyway, since we had been talking about the CWCki last night, I looked again today, and there's a new page. Apparently they have records of your Best Buy purchases. Looking at that, here's a list of how much you've spent lately, and the dates you spent on (I bolded the dollar amounts to make them stand out):
9/20/2010: a PSN card, Silent Hill the movie, Resident Evil 5. $43.98
So that's a lot of purchases for the past couple of months, totalling to $138.93, and that's just a little bit of the list, I didn't go through the whole thing. And that's just at Best Buy - you've talked about spending quite a bit at Gamestop too, not just the $300 for the new PS3 (which brings the total to $438.93, not counting your other Gamestop purchases, which I don't have accurate figures for), but also on other things besides that. I just thought it would be helpful if I pointed these dollar amounts out plainly, because when you see them like this it becomes harder to fool yourself into thinking you've begun to work on your gaming addiction. I know it probably makes it all feel kind of silly when you look at the plain facts like this, but trust me, once you make the decision to kick the habit and actually try to get over your game addiction, this will all just seem so funny in hindsight. I know it's all at your own pace and that no one can make your life better but yourself, but I do really hope you consider turning yourself around and beginning to combat your game addiction. Just think what you could have done with that $450+ if you hadn't dropped it on games! But like I say, I have faith in your strength and will, Chris!!
Anyway, in other news... ugh, I got into contact with Lars. He's such an asshole. I am just so mad about it, I don't even feel like talking about him right now... ugh. Maybe we can talk about him in our next IM chat. Speaking of, will you be available tomorrow night at 9pm? We can talk then. I can vent to you about what Lars did to me, if you don't mind listening to my sad story... :( but I know you're such a good listener, and even better at cheering me up. ;) ;)
Well, let me know so that we can confirm that we are on for tomorrow night. Hope to talk to you then!!
XO XO XO XO XO XO
|September 23, 2010 - 7:56pm
I've mostly told Samantha the truth when we talked, but I did lie some, but I had my good reasons, between sparing her feelings, making the conversation less embarrassing for me, etc. Recently, she asked me to list some lies I've told her in the past, which I recollected and did inform her of. And in that same e-mail, I've told her about how she raises her voice to me when she doesn't have to. I listen to her and her sound advice; she thought I was blowing her off when she talked less aggressively in the past, when I did not; I hang and have hung onto every word she says to me. Every detail is saved in my memory and subconscious. Currently, it is NOT that I don't want to talk to her; I e-mail daily on the current events, but I felt with how she was feeling after my comment on the raised voice, we needed a bit of time apart. I will be back on the phone with her very soon after emotions have simmered down. It makes me feel sad that I've made her feel like this, but I was only doing what she asked me to do; tell the truth.
Damn those trolls; I'll have to change the password on my RewardZone account now. For your information... A) the recent 43.98 purchase was actually a spot of Wheeling and Dealing I did; I actually spent less to make a profit. Toys 'R' Us had Borderlands for PS3 for a lower price than the current $39.99 price at Best Buy; I paid 20.98 for it at T.R.U. After that, I took the game to Best Buy, told them I received it as a gift and got the store credit of 41.??, THEN I got what I really wanted, Resident Evil 5 G.E. and a 10 dollar PSN Card, but even the two items would still leave me with some credit, so I added the Silent Hill movie, and paid the 3 dollar difference in cash. R.E.5.G.E. was on sale for 10 less than normal this week for 29.99, it was now PSMove Compatible, I wanted a good shooter for the Move, and I had heard a LOT of good things about the game long before as well. I just wanted the PSP version of ModNation as well, after enjoying the PS3 version as well. The "NDS Flaw" item was a Nintendo DSi game titled "System Flaw". I got it the same day I got the Zoom Case.
I agree with you on the addiction issue.
Yes, I will be free tomorrow night at 9:00; I'm looking forward just talking with you again, and I will be most happy to listen to your story and make you feel better. :)
New topics: my other thoughts for Troll Awareness and Cyber-Bully Self-Protection. You can quote me on the following paragraphs for the article.
There are people around the world who for their own individual reasons seek cruel laughs, fun or comfort in making fun at other people's expenses, all celebrities included. I, Christian Weston Chandler, of Ruckersville, Virginia, United States of America, have fallen victim of these cads, these scoundrels, these scumbags of the earth's soil. I am original creator of the Electric-Hedgehog Pok'emon, Sonichu and Rosechu, as well as their hometown of Cwcville, Virginia, United States of America. True, they were inspired by Sonic the Hedgehog and Pok'emon, but they were still considerably original, even positively parodied. I had a self-hand-drawn comic book series of them, with myself as a self-proclaimed "Intrusive Director", similar to Shinichi Watanabe of the anime "Excel Saga". As the years passed in the story creation, I later discovered that I was being bad-mouthed behind my back in November of 2007 by individuals who hide behind the "Mother's Skirt" of the Internet, who are referred to as Trolls, or Cyber-Bullies. Their groups and icons include that of "4-Chan", the "Pedobear", the "Epic Smile", "Chargin' Muh Lazur"; the list goes on. They all think they are of a high and mighty rank above EVERYBODY around the world, including and especially every individual who they make dark mockeries of. These Trolls not only put in their own twisted, evil thoughts on the innocent people they pick on, but from EVERYTHING the innocents put on the internet from Typed, Quoted Text; drawings and photographs, YouTube Videos, etc, etc, etc. And even worse, the Trolls DECEIVE and BLACKMAIL us innocents by establishing Online Relationships, making us open up emotionally to them to confide our private Truths, Photographs, Videos for Footage. They deceived my "CWC On TV" DVD from me by pretending to be an old childhood girl friend of mine. And other times, they deceived and blackmailed me to give them naked photographs and videos I create of myself. And then they throw Horrendous Mislabels of HOMOSEXUALITY upon us by PHOTOSHOPPING the photographs and altering the videos. They Blackmailed me by hacking into my own personal Internet Accounts, such as MySpace and Facebook, but specifically my PlayStation Network Account. They also have gotten into my bank and credit card accounts. They can just as easily get into YOUR accounts of Monetary Value, INCLUDING your XBox Live Account, and Possibly Wii and DSi Ware too. Their hacking prowess is unknowingly powerful, depending on WHO is in their organization for their crass "LULZ," which I personally define as "Laughs Under Lucrativeness".
I tell every person who has been, as well as not yet but will be, Tormented and Found by a Troll/Cyber-Bully. YOU ALL can Protect Yourselves by simply Practicing the Safety Advice from me here, as well as other Cyber-Bully Prevention organizations found on the internet AND in real life; Google these places. Simply, though, you can Protect Yourselves by simply,
A) NEVER giving out your Personal, Private Information to Anyone or Anywhere suspicious. Especially those who would even be your "Friends" Online. If you can't and won't tell a Close Relative, like your Grandmother, DO NOT Tell ANYONE. This includes your PASSWORDS for EVERYTHING. And for ALL of you Gamers, your E-Mail Addresses you have Linked to your Console Accounts.
And if you Suspect ANYONE around you who is likely to be a Troll or Cyber-Bully, Report them to the Police or High Authority, including your own and Their Family(ies). Be Cautious of the Signs.
I also put forward a truthful FlipNote from user, "8-BIT" ("DizzyDrill"),
If you are a Victim of Trolling/Cyber-Bullying, and you KNOW who the person is and where they are in Real Life, there is a good chance you'll be able to legally sue them. Talk to a legal attorney for more information and details on how.
And if you ARE a Troll or Cyber-Bully, and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, You'd be doing yourself a favor GIVING UP your ways, because YOU WILL BE FOUND AND PUNISHED.
Like the TrollBusters, Cal and Dee Dee, of Cwcville, VA who always catch the Troll in the Act, YOU can do your part in Stopping the Trolling and Cyber-Bullying.
How did you like that speech I've put together; I'd like your honest feedback?
With that, I'll wrap this up for now, and I will talk to you tomorrow night on the AIM at 9:00. :)
Stay Safe and Sweet,
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