Mailbag 20

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Mailbag 20 was uploaded to the CWCipedia on 16 December 2009 and answered on 20 December 2009.

In this exciting edition of Mailbag, Chris tells all multiple things, including that he thinks the average adult male pickle size is "6 to 7 inches", that CWCville has a massive homelessness problem, that apparently Oral sex does not count as losing virginity and so much more...

Answered

This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem

From: Team CWCket <CWC-captain@yourcricketteam.co.uk>

Hey Chris, it's your pals from Team CWCket again!

We were reading your Christmas story - aww, the Sonees and Rosees are sooooo cute! - and we got a little confused. It looks like there are homeless people in CWCville, which we thought was kinda realistic and thoughtful of you to show - after all, what big city doesn't have a few poor unfortunates living on the street?

But then Jessica, our top batter, pointed out that Sonichu and Rosechu live in a house which you provided for them as Mayor, and we got confused. Why do they get a free house from you - presumably paid for out of the city's funds - but the homeless people don't get homes of their own? Maybe now you're back in the comic you should do something about that as Mayor!

Anyway, got to run, we've got a winter match coming up against Cambridge College! Have a great Christmas! See you soon!

- Team CWCket <3 <3 <3

As their creator, I have to make sure the Electric-Hedgehogs have appropriate housings. And I have noted that I have TEN Soup Hotels for the homeless; each Soup Hotel, with the Soup Kitchen being on the first floor, are each Ten Stories Tall with approximately 10 to 20 rooms per floor, each complete with bathroom facilities, bed, lighting and Cable TV. The homeless are not charged any rent.

--ChrisChanSonichu 07:30, 21 December 2009 (CET)

This will not stop Chris from destroying all the homos in Sonichu 10

From: Amanda Levy <aglevy@hotmail.com>

Hi Chris,

I'm really happy to see you working on your comic again. Too bad you're taking yourself out of it - I love Sonichu, but I always thought Chris-chan had the most interesting life in the comics!

I have a question for you. Why do you hate gay people? You said that the Bible is just a guideline for life, so it can't be because of that - or else you would hate people who eat shrimp and wear clothing with mixed fibers, both of which the Bible says are abominations (Leviticus 11:9 and Leviticus 19:19). So why, specifically, do you think it is wrong to be gay?

I hope you do more stories with Zapina. She's too cute!

Lots of love,

Amanda

In a nutshell, it's the idea of two dudes doing those things that offend me. Aside from that, it has recently come to my attention that the book of Leviticus is applied only to those of the Jewish Faith, and being a Methodist Christian, I have no right on abolishing and ordering the homos' life around like I have noted before. WHAT THEY DO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS, and as long as I don't have to hear about it, I am fairly cool.

Zapina will have some more pages for herself in the future.

--ChrisChanSonichu 07:30, 21 December 2009 (CET)

Why Chris is in love with a cartoon

From: Rich Robertson <richrobb123@hotmail.com>

Hey Chris,

I'm a long time fan of Sonichu. Glad to see you've been doing daily updates, it's the highlight of my day! I'm also a fellow fan of Family Guy and I really hope that Seth decides to use the story you wrote. And I see that you really like Megan Griffin as she's a big part of your plot. What made you so attracted to Megan? Personally, I like the glasses. Take care and keep up the great work!

All the best,

Rich

She has a fun and sweet personality; she is very pretty; she is smart; what is there NOT to like about her? Nothing from my point of view.

Oral doesn't count

From: Joe Robert <skittles_libarmy@yahoo.com>

Hi Chris-chan! My name's Amy- I'm on my boyfriend Joe's computer while he's asleep LOL
I became a fan of your comics because of Joe, and I have some questions for you if you don't mind :)
You write about relationships all the time, so I was wondering if you could help us? <3
1) Joe looks different- my parents sometimes make fun of him for his long hair. I think it's hot. What should I say to my parents to get them to stop teasing him && calling him a "girl"??? :(
2) My boyfriend and I haven't had sex yet. He wants to take it slow, and we do oral sex alot, but how do I get him to go all the way with me? I mean... he's WELL ENDOWED "down there", so what's his deal???
3) Speaking of *Well Endowed*, what's the average penis size?
I know it's a sensitive subject, lol, but I was just curious!! Oh,, and what's more important-- length or girth???
Thank you for your time Chris-chan! Me and my sweetbolt really appreciate it! <33333

1) A haircut wouldn't hurt. Seriously, though, I would not worry about your parent's opinions; they'll get over it. 2) Perhaps he is shy, or he is a virgin (Oral does not break virginity). Gently persuade him to go vaginal-intercourse with you until it happens. Or, he may feel inadequate on it being his first time, and he may feel it may go not-so-swift with premature ejaculation. Let him know that he's had enough let out of him to NOT become premature. Maybe watch some man-on-woman intercourse videos with him to encourage him. 3) Scientific findings find that the average size is 6 to 7 inches in length. Both are important.

--ChrisChanSonichu 07:30, 21 December 2009 (CET)

Chris still thinks he can actually curse people

From: Aimee Watters <aimee-88@live.co.uk>

Hi Chris, first of all let me say its is so great to see you answering so much fanmail and as if that wasn't enough updating the comic EVERY DAY. Secondly I was wanted to ask a few questions about your incredible powers.

1) Do you have any other powers you have not revealed to the public yet, or is it possible you have some you don't know about yet?

2) With your clearly incredible powers have you ever considered becoming a crime fighter or super hero, to quote Stan Lee "With great power, come great responsibility" and surely with powers as great as yours you could save millions of lives.

3) Before you discovered the Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha actually worked what did you do when faced with an opponent, I only ask because some guys keep threatening to beat me up.

1) More likely I don't know about some powers yet. 2) As if I haven't acted enough of a Hero or crime-fighter already? 3) Smile and made it obvious that their attacks were not bothering me at all. Look up a previously answered letter with more on how to cope with bullies.

Chris defends the pedo-glasses

From: Ash David <yancystreet25@gmail.com>

Dear Chris-Chan, How do you type with grandmother glasses on?

Autisticly yours, Ashley David

Grandmother Glasses? These are Respectable Frames I have picked out from Wal-Mart.

Chris is still racist as hell

From: J M <jm250487@googlemail.com>

Hey Chris!

I've just watched your new video (good rap, I thought you were 50 Cent for a moment), and was happy to hear you were going through "Jungle Fever". Brilliant! Does this mean you have changed your opinion on black women, and you now have a black sweetheart and Honest and True love? Just that "Jungle Fever" means a white man falling in love and having hanky-panky with a black women, so I hope this means you have decided to bless black women with a chance at being your sweetheart!

Peace,

John

No, I still prefer a non-black Sweetheart. I was only stating that I have become more manly and confident with myself.

Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus

From: Jerome Wilson <jeromewhatwilson@gmail.com>

Hi Chris,

I was really confused by your Jungle Fever video.

Why would you say you take viagra? Do you have erectile dysfunction? What other medications are you taking? You should let all the girls know your issues before you continue your sweetheart search. I have a feeling this will greatly hamper your girlfriend free boyfriend search.

I did not say that I was taking viagra; I was stating that in that role-play, Santa would be taking that. I am taking Vitamins A and D.

Once again, Chris misses the point

From: At <asemaleyite@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

I do not mean to intrude or anything, and fully understand your opinion and why you have it. But, if there were more gay people in the world, would there not be more girls available for you?

Sincerely, Ashley

If there were more gay people; LESBIANS are part of that community, so there would be still an equal number of single women as now.

In which Chris lies and says he's not a furfag

From: that guy <whyisthatguy@hotmail.com>

I was looking at your comic and i wish to know, Do you consider youself a "furry" or at least a person with an interest in anthropomorphic characters? I ask this becasue you seem to show an extreme interest in informing the viewer of their sexuality to the point where you actually depict them having sexual relations with each other on several occasions.

I am not a furry; I have thought about it before.

Everybody loves Clyde!

All hail Clyde!
From: Hamsty the Hamster <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

Obviously your best designed characters are Silvana Rosechu and Clyde Cash. So, here you go.

Very interesting, thank you for your art.

Chris on abortion

From: Terrance Fisher <terman9000@yahoo.com>

My dad told me abortion is murder because those are little babies in mommys' bellies, but my teacher told me recently that it isn't. Do you think abortion is murder or is it not? Is abortion legal in Cwcville?

~ Terry ~

Abortion is a choice; it is legal in Cwcville, and it should remain legal as a choice, because the women who feel they don't want the baby right now have the option open for them. Or, as an alternative, find a family who will take the child and raise it as their own.

Chris considers his audience

From: Corey Matthews <idecide808@yahoo.com>

my English teacher assigned our class an assignment to write a story. she said all good authors consider their audience. they ask themselves who will read their books and then cater to that specific audience rather than try to write it for everyone because not everyone has the same tastes and you cant please everyone all the time. what do you think the audience is for Sonichu? little children? teenagers? adults? males? females? whites? blacks? I'm just curious who you imagine reads Sonichu when you create your comics.

I'd give the comics an average rating of TV-Y7.

Crystal the theoretical retard

From: scoolgal82@aol.com

I don't mean this question to be mean, I'm just honestly curious based on things I've read you say in the past, but what would you do if you had a daughter named Crystal but she turned out to be mentally retarded? Not autistic like you, but with a much more severe mental handicap. I know you say you want a daughter named Crystal but I've also heard you say you can't stand being around the mentally retarded. Just curious.

I'll deal with that as it comes up, in any way, I'd still love her as my own.

Be like water

From: the_rhino@freenet.de

Hello, Christian. I am very fond of your work as an artist and as a humanitarian(I red about your charity work at the Gym).

Now I also found out you are a formidable martial artist, too. That links us as fellow brothers. Because back in Hong Kong, I practiced Kung Fu and when I moved to the US, I started to develope an own style, which I call Jun Fan Gung Fu(Based on my name). It is more reality based for self defense. So I have some questions of interest, from fighter to fighter:

1. What do you think is the most important in a fight: Strength, Speed, Intelligence, Simplicity?

2. I red you practiced Karate. If Yes, what style Kyokishin or Shotokan?

3. What martial art do you think is the best in the world?

Take care and stay strong. Yours:

Lee Jun Fan.

1) All of them are equally important. 2) I practiced a bit, but I know not of what it is called. 3) The best defensive with equal offensive.

Rejected Mailbag

Fuck the police

Fuck(ed) Tha Police!
From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>

Chris,

No one's fooled by your many separate mailbags where you refuse to answer perfectly legitimate questions. These people are your fans who took the time to write you. To me, it seems as if you have a lot to hide. Also, I've noticed that elsewhere on the site you've begged the admin to censor the questions before they even get to you:

"Please No Longer Include any messages addressing Autisim or Aspergers, or any that has even an inkling of homosexuality in it; I feel very stressed after having to read those messages; they really Grind My Gears."

Okay, I understand how hating homosexuals, acting like a homosexual and denying you're a homosexual all at once could cause stress. You've said on numerous occasions that you've had to push homoerotic thoughts out of your head. Heterosexual people do not do this. I'm not disputing that you like women as well. You're obviously bisexual and have great difficultly coming to terms with that.

But why refuse to answer questions about Autism, Chris? You've based a large part of your identity around having Autism and while you're not a medical doctor or a psychologist your personal experience on the subject is certainly relevant and valid. I'm sure your fans would love to hear all about your thoughts and experiences with Autism.

There are other questions where I don't see anything remotely offensive, yet you've refused to answer them. I find this extremely disrespectful.

As for my comics, I can only take your silence in response to my previous email as implied consent. I have also attached a new comic where you have explicit sexual intercourse with a number of Virginia State Troopers. I only hope that with it you can find peace.

Have a Nice Day,

Sean August Watley


Sonichu is Gay: http://sonichuisgay.thecomicseries.com
Sonichu is Dead: http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/

Let me get back to you on that

Whores

From: orangepie@hotmail.com

Hey Chris, I've got a question.

Is prostitution legal in CWCville? In most of the US it's illegal and I feel that this is an unfair law. Prostitution is legal in parts of Nevada and Rhode Island, and as you can see on Family Guy, Rhode Island isn't falling apart nor is it a cesspool.

Are there brothels in CWCville? Perhaps you could add a friendly pimp or madam character who hooks all the virgins up with boyfriend free prostitutes if they're too nervous to meet an actual girlfriend.

I'm really interested as to what you think of this matter.

Sincerely, A fan

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For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Mailbag 20