Mailbag 9

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Mailbag 9 was yet another mailbag, uploaded to the CWCipedia on 3 December 2009. Chris was scheduled to answer it on the same day, but didn't get around to responding to it until the 4th.

This mailbag was notably international, containing letters from Scotland, Germany, and Iran (again). Chris also received a letter in Arabic, but he was too lazy to dump it into one of the many free translation websites available on the internet.

Some of the high points of this mailbag included Chris babbling about how he was vaccinated against homos, and failing at weights and measurements. He also got a few more pieces of fanart, and took a few moments to advise a ruthless dictator about how to use propaganda to affect public opinion.

Answered

Homo blood

From: Jennie Richardson <blakesgurl@hotmail.co.uk>

Hey Chris you're a fan of the American Rabbit, and you wih he had his own show, well why not bring him into your comics like Sonic? Or else you could make your own version, the CWCville Rabbit!

Oh, and will you ever do any comics about your adventures in the Time Void? I know you said you would use your blood to cure homosexuals. Hey, if injecting a homo with straight blood turns them straight, what would happen if a straight person was injected with homo blood? If Naitsirhc injected you with his blood would you turn homo?

I will take that into consideration. Also, I do plan on drawing some pages of my time in the void. Before I left that time with the syringes of the Straight Gene, I was injected with a Vaccine that prevents homosexual blood to affect me in anyway. Plus, that vaccine is in all of the syringes with the Straight Gene

Christian: King of England

From: Walter Sobcheck <wltrsbchck9@gmail.com>

Hi, Chris! Long time fan of your amazing comic writing you.

Just two quick questions:

Have you seen the movie "King Ralph" featuring John Goodman? It's the story about an American who is descended from the British Royal Family and finds himself in the position of King of England!

Since your ancestry can be traced back to Anne Boleyn, this could theoretically happen to you as well. What would you do if you were the King of England? Would this affect CWCville in any way? I think you would be a wise and just CWCking.

Best regards,

Walter Sobcheck

That is interesting, although I have never heard of the movie. **I promise to think about it further, and replace this sentence with my final thoughts. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:14, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Request hour

From: Fly Griffith <metzger-meister@live.com>

Hey Chris,

I admire your singing talent, and I would like to know if you take requests?

Thanks.

Thank you for the compliment. I am not currently taking requests, but I may change my mind in the future. Stay Safe. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:14, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Deutschland, Deutschland über alles

Mein Gott!
From: Horst Wessel <mann_im_essiggurkeanzug@hotmail.com>

Liebe Chris,

Viele Grüsse aus Deutschland! Ich bin eine grosse Befürworter der Sonichukomik. Ich habe ein Paar Fragen fuer dich, und ich freue mich auf deine Antworten;

Erstens muss ich dich über meine Englisch warnen, es nicht so gut ist. (Ich habe eine Internet-Uebersetzer benutzt, und so ist es möglich, dass Worten und Sätze inkorrekt sind). Ich kann deine Komik lesen, weil deine Englisch leicht zu Verstehen ist - vielleicht ist es warum, du viele fremden Befürworter haben! (Wie mich!)

Jetzt, auf die Fragen;

1. Ich habe gelesen in deine letzte Postsack, dass du das Wort ,,Hakenkreuz" nicht sagen wird. Warum ist es? Bevor der Nazizeit war ein Hakenkreuz ein Symbol der Glück.

2. Was muss ich essen, um deine Körperbau zu haben? Jeden Tag, esse ich Bratwürst und vier gekochte Eier im Morgens, aber noch kann ich deine Figur nicht erhalten. Welchen Tipps kannst du mir geben? Je mehr Tipps, desto besser!

3. Ist es möglich, ein deutsches Sonichu-Charakter haben? Es kann Lederhosen tragen und Sauerkraut essen, aber nicht Bier trinken, weil es ist illegale in CWCville. (Ich habe eine Bild von ,,Jürgenchu" beigefügt - so kann man Eingebung über dieser Charakter haben).


Auf Englisch;

Many Greetings from Germany! I am a big supporter of Sonichukomik. I have a couple questions for you, and I look forward to your answers;

First, I must warn you about my English, it is not so good. (I have used an internet translator, so it is possible that words and sentences are incorrect). I can read your comic, because your English is easy to understand - maybe it's why you have many foreign supporters! (Like me!)

Now to the questions;

1. I have read in your last mailbag that you will not say the word "swastika". Why is it? Before the Nazi era, a swastika was a symbol of good luck.

2. What should I eat to your body type to have? Every day, I eat sausages and four boiled eggs in the morning, but I still can not get your figure. What tips can you give me? The more tips the better!

3. Is it possible to have a German Sonichu character? It can wear lederhosen and eat sauerkraut, but do not drink beer because it is illegal in CWCville. (I have an image of, Jürgenchu attached "- that you can have inspiration about this character).


Tschüss!

Horst.

The english is good. To your first question, interesting, well leave to Hitler to turn the icon into an icon as terrible as when the homosexuals made the rainbow their icon, or even the word that Originally was defined as "Happy" but now is defined as "homo". My figure can be better; I highly recommend getting on a healthy diet and exercising. It is possible, and I will keep it in my head for consideration. Thank you for your submission. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:14, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Gin a body meet a body Comin thro' the rye

Nice kilt.
From: Richard Harrison <nothing_ever_works@hotmail.com>

Hello Christian.

Greetings from Scotland - I am a massive STRAIGHT, TRUE and HONEST Sonichu fan so I thought I would give you my idea for a new Sonichu.

His name is Jobbychu - named after the old scottish word for a lot of hard work, and he has a special skill called Baw-deep-in-yer-Ma! He likes to hack Jerkops up with his sharp Claymore and never misses a chance to swing his sporran.

It took me ages to do so I hope you like him. Keep up the good work on the comics!

Regards,

Rich

I have the image saved on my Meomry Stick Duo, so I will keep him in mind for something. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:14, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Chris fails at weights and measurements

From: ThunderBolt <gamerthunderbolt@gmail.com>

Hey Mr. Chandler! I've been a fan since the beginning of the subepisodes!

Anyways, I'm not that strong, but I noticed you've been working out. So I tried to follow your workout routine, to someday be almost as strong as you. I went to the grocery store looking for the lemonade boxes you used in your workout video. I asked one of the employees where the 12 packs of lemonade that weigh over 50 pounds, and they just laughed at me. I looked all over the store and couldn't find them, and now I'm feeling stressed. I saw plenty of 10 pound 12 packs, but I knew that wasn't it, because you're stronger than that. I need to be strong to get a boyfriend-free girl. Where do you get your lemonade? What other things are really heavy I can lift with?

A "used to be" friend of mine (turned out to be a dirty filthy troll) said you had lifted a doghouse that was five to ten tons. Is this true? You are amazing! The African Savanna Elephant weighs around 8 tons, but if you want to get a girlfriend, you should carry your car to the mall. Most cars that size weigh 1 to 2 tons, and if you could carry a 5 or 10 ton doghouse, that should be a cake walk for you. There's no way a girl would say no to a guy throwing cars around. God you are awesomely strong Chris! How are you still single?

Stay straight!

Nick

Firstly, get a pair of dumbell weights up to 50 lbs in weight. I did lift and move a doghouse for my late Patti; I moved it a bit of ways from her dog pen to her burial site. A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS. Blame me being single on being shy. Thank you for your

A-rabs

From: MM <magnusmaximus5@gmail.com>

بالإضافة إلى ذلك، شهدت شعبية طفرة في فترة السبعينات من القرن العشرين - وغالبًا ما كان يتم تحويل قصص المانجا المصورة فيما بعد إلى رسوم متحركة - ولا سيما الرسوم التي كانت من تصميم أو الذي كان يوصف "بالأسطورة" "والأب الروحي لقصص المانجا المصورة فأعماله وأعمال غيره من الرواد في هذا المجال كانت مصدر إلهام ساهم في ظهور العناصر الأساسية التي يعتمد عليها الأنيمي في وقتنا الحاضر. فعلى سبيل المثال، تشكل أسلوب الروبوت العملاق (المعروف باسم "الآليات" خارج اليابان) في ذهن تيزوكا وطوره جو ناجاي وغيره فأصبح يطلق عليه اسم الروبوت الخارق. وفي نهاية العقد نفسه، أحدث المبدع يوشي يوكي تومينو ثورة في عالم الروبوت بإنشائه للروبوت الحقيقي. ولقد أصبح أنيمي الروبوت مثل سلسلة "" وسلسلة"" من الكلاسيكيات في فترة الثمانينات من القرن العشرين. كما أن أنيمي "الروبوت" لا يزال واحدًا من أكثر أنواع الأنيمي شيوعًا في اليابان وفي جميع أنحاء العالم اليوم. وفي فترة الثمانينات

والناجحة من الأنيمي في الأسواق الخارجية في الفترة نفسها، لاقى الأنيمي قبولاُ متزايدًا في هذه الأسواق في التسعينات من القرن نفسه، بل وزاد هذا الاستحسان في .

Can we get a translator, please? I'm sorry, but these characters are illegible. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)

(Note: This is copied from the Arabic Wikipedia article for Anime.)

Chris the illest rapper

Trent Reznor, the TRUE and HONEST Chris-Chan fan.
From: Trent Reznor <trentreznr@rocketmail.com>

Dear, Mr. Chandler,

Hello, my name is Trent Reznor, and I would like you to know that I am a massive fan of your music. I am particularly fond of your rapping. Is there any chance that, in the future, you might release a hip hop album? Honestly, you're up there with some of the greats, The Notorious B.I.G., Tupac, and Nas. It would be a shame if the world never got to hear you to your fullest potential.

I would also like to, as a musician myself, ask you how you come up with your amazing lyrics? Lastely, is there a new Christian and the Hedgehog Boys in the works?

-Trent Reznor

The lyrics just come to me, as most musicians will tell you. Not at the moment. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Chris says something nice

Obviously this needs improvement.
From: Barry Cartridge <barryacartridge@hotmail.com>

Dear Chris

A message from A TRUE AND HONEST fan. I think you are a genius of ages and love your comics.

My sister says you look like Edward Cullen From Twilight. I think you look more like Harrison Ford.

I drew this picture of Rosechu hoping you feature it in your mailbag. I know it's not as good as your art but please tell me how I could improve it.

Barry

Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it. I've already saw it in an e-mail too, thank you. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Iranian democracy

Another TRUE and HONEST Sonichu fan.
From: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad <ajad368@yahoo.com>

Hello,

Greetings from the Islamic Republic of Iran! My name is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and I must say that I am a huge fan of your Sonichu comics, as are a lot of other people in my country of Iran.

I'm looking for some tips, as I understand it you are the mayor of Cwcville, and I am somewhat of a politician myself.

1. My people have recently been very upset with elections in my country. Even though there are no elections in Cwcville, is there anything you suggest I do to keep my people quiet?

2. Would you consider including an Iranian character in a future Sonichu comic? It would be an interesting cultural exchange!

Thank you for your time,

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

I'd say let the people have their say and hold the elections; it will give you a chance to improve your self-image to the public; be kind and courteous. I will consider it. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Chris the role model

An Animu Sonichu approaches!
From: Nick Dole <ndolmalbx@hotmail.com>

Hello Chris!

I've been reading your comics and watching your videos for a while now. I look up to you as a role model, and you have helped me to stay STRAIGHT and OFF OF DRUGS. Keep up the good work!

I hope you enjoy the pic I drew!

-Nick Dole

That is good, and the drawing is good. Thank you. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Rejected Mailbag

Chris is incapable of simply disagreeing

From: Joseph Barale <amenta101@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

I am a growing aspiring cartoonist and currently single male (and very much proud of it).

I have been aware of you and your Sonichu creation for a while now. I even read all your Sonichu comics from scratch. I am pleased to see that you have a mailblog for your Sonichu following and I applaud you to that and wish you the best. However, you should also be more aware of your actions, but also your facts.

You say that Autism in no way have any similarities to Aspergers where, in reality, they do share a lot of similarities with the symptoms. Saying that they do not share similarities without even achknowledging it is like stating that Pandorum is a real space hallucination disease (reference from the movie Pandorum).

Also, I am quite appaled by your views of homosexuality and Gay Rights. I am not a gay man myself, but I support homosexuality and Gay Rights as much as I support Women Rights. It's not only a lifestyle, but a choice as well. Sometimes people like to follow or pursue on what feels right for them, even from childhood. That's how life works and that's the fun and beauty of it.

But other than that, I wish you the best of luck with Sonichu and creativity in the future and I hope you have a safe and pleasant day.

Peace.

Joseph Barale

Thank you for your support, but due to the content of the second two paragraphs, of which I feel uncomfortable of leaving in the main mailbag, I'm afraid this message, and this reply, will be put into the Reject Mailbag. I apologize, but thank you for sending me your thoughts. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Autism Mailbag

Chris's opinion is law, yours is just an opinion

From: aamoran@newyork.usa.com

Chris, enough is enough. You constantly say that you are autistic. But that is only YOUR opinion.

Stop trying to cite it as a fact. It's very annoying.

It's like if I were to say I think green is the best color ever, and get angry at anyone who don't think it's the best color. It's silly. How is what you're doing any different?

Look. I respect your opinion, and that in your mind you think you are autistic. That's fine. In my mind, I think I am superman. But that's only your opinion.

Why don't you just leave it at that instead of trying to get other people to believe the same thing as you?

Do not cite it as fact and then act surprised when people close their mind to such a suggestion that clearly is only your personal opinion and NOTHING else.

Sincerely, Andrew Moran


CWCipedia logo.png
For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Mailbag 9

List of males Chris doesn't hate, according to Chris

I. Chris II. Bob Chandler III. Santa Clause IV. Jesus V. God

VI. The President of the United States:
Barack Obama (as of 2009)

VII. All the World Leaders:
Kim Jong UnMahmoud AhmadinejadManuel Noriega

VIII. ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present:
Cole SmitheyDr. David Alan ChandlerJonathan CareyUncle Raymond
Joshua MartinezJoseph HerringWes IseliLucasMimmsRobert Simmons V (as of 2009)

List of males Chris doesn't hate, corrected for accuracy

I. Chris II. Bob Chandler III. Santa Clause IV. Jesus V. God VI. The Bear

VII. The former Presidents of the United States:
George W. BushBarack Obama

VIII. Select male acquaintances and friends, past and present:
Robert Simmons VKenneth Erwin EnglehardtWilliam Elliott Waterman

IX. Celebrities:
Jack BlackJerry SeinfeldRed SkeltonR.L. StineSeth MacFarlaneVarious comedians

X. Robots:
MegatronOptimus Prime

XI. Hedgehogs:
Sonic the HedgehogBionic the Hedgehog

XII. Electric Hedgehog Pokémon:
Sonichu (Ultra SonichuMetonic)
Wild SonichuPunchy SonichuMagi-ChanBlakeDJ JamstaBlazeBob SonichuMitch SonichuDarkbind Sonichu

XIII. Pornstars:
Bailey Jay

List of males Chris does hate

JERKS