Jackie E-mails 28
This set of e-mails was exchanged between Chris and Jackie from 3 June to 16 June 2011. Chris shares more of his adventures as a tomgirl, including public harassment, online socialization, and body hair removal. He is already imagining himself as a lesbian, three years before he would publicly come out as one. He is far more engrossed in ideas about makeup and navel piercings than getting a job or his father's declining health. Chris continually reminds Jackie that he wants to meet her. Finally she relents and they begin to make plans to get together in Charlottesville for the Fourth of July.
|June 3, 2011 10:35pm
Sorry I haven't written back sooner, hectic couple of days.
I really like the purse! You have such an eclectic design milieux, I love seeing the stuff that you make. Don't worry about being cautious with this picture - I understand you being a bit wary, what with my email account being hacked and whatnot in the past. I saved a copy of the picture so I could keep it but deleted the email right after. Your cool designs are safe with me. ;)
Anyway, thanks for your kind words regarding my mother's bad past. She has had a hard life, many trials and hardships have awaited her. She has a happy life now but it still pains her if these sore subjects are brought up so my family likes to just focus on the good times.
Thanks for asking about Blueberry! Would you believe it, he flew over to my friend's house when he left? Right through her window! My friend had a hell of a time getting Blueberry into a corner where she could capture him and keep him safe, but eventually she did and called me, and I was able to go retrieve him. (My friend lives right down the street but still, I think it's damn lucky he wound up there.) Anyway, he's safe and sound, and I'm glad to have him back.
So what else is going on with you? How are your parents? Are they still giving you any guff over your lifestyle? I feel like I'm aching to hear about what's been going on with you because I haven't been able to talk to you in a couple days.
|June 4, 2011 10:10am
I am happy to hear about Blueberry's safe return to your care. :) Thank you for your compliment of my purse's front compiliation. The Squinkies are optional for hooking onto such a size ring with a bracelet hook followed by placing any Squinkie on the peg. I am looking into other craft ideas involving Squinkies (without damaging them, and without gluing them); as an avid collector, I feel better in allowing my craft using decorative collectables to be optionally removable. I mean, it is soo stylish and super cute, but conditions may wear on them between weather, and newspaper ink (I think).
Mom and Dad still give me grief on being Tomgirlly sometimes, but not as much due to not wearing my skirts and high heels in front of them. I will still wager that if I have a pretty and smart woman like you by my side, and in mutual true love, appreciate me in fullest makeup and dress in front of them a number of times, they will more likely back off. Or otherwise Positive Verbal or Hand-Written Feedback on me and my feminine attire from women. The other night, I went out to Sheetzfor my mother to get her two hot dogs for a dollar; some male sees me in one of my tanks and jeans; fucking asks me "Are you gay?" "No, I AM a Tomgirl", I replied. I felt pissed off to be asked that. I:( Especially after ALL of the shit I got from the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies with their Mislabeling me and shit.
Hell, if anything, I would feel a LOT better being mistaken for a woman or even better and more accurate, a Lesbian. :) Upon self-reflection, I feel that all things considered... Between not caring much for the Majority of the male population, coping and socializing more easily and being best attracted to women, me being a Tomgirl and being most comfortable in skirt, heels, sexy/cute top or full dress, long, curled hair and makeup... I would Best fit in at an All-Woman (Lesbian) Bar. :)
Have you checked out the Tomboy/Tomgirl Forum yet? I wrote among my posts the story of me starting and feeling comfort in using the ladies' restroom. I prefer to squat over standing. ;) In case I have not mentioned it before, my avatar on that forum is an image of Applejack from the new "Friendship is Magic" generation of My Little Pony. I would have gone with Rainbow Dash, but someone else on there has already chosen her for their avatar, and I did not want to come off as an avatar copycat. And with my sense of picking choice designs and fashion sense, I feel more like Rarity. I am very complex. I wish I could afford the prices to have my face, legs, arms and torso waxed in a nail salon or spa, so I wouldn't have to worry about shaving. Yes, I do go Brazillian too. ;)
On another topic, the pastor of my church will be moving in a few weeks, and I have drawn a cute drawing of her baptizing a cow (she really likes cows; she has a collection of cow figures; so cute). And I felt inspiration to write an elaborate, sweet poem on there as well. I will share the drawing and poem with you after the image-sharing check. I am also going to frame the original drawing (keeping a photocopy for myself) and attach a double set of Squinkies to the edge. I was hoping to find a cow Squinkie, but after checking online AND in the stores, a cow has not yet been designed. Otherwise, I would have like 4 or 6 cows on the frame. Also, with the drawing, I think it is one that even the people of India would appreciate; they worship the cow there. :)
That's all for now. I'll check in again later.
Stay Safe with Care, Christian.
|June 5, 2011 8:38pm
You're welcome about the purse! It's always nice to see you make use of your creative talents because you have such a deep well of ideas. And it's also practical to make sure that you don't let any of it become damaged or worn more than necessary. You should keep it up!
I have taken quite a look at the tomgirl forum. It looks really cool! It looks like you've found some pretty intelligent and friendly folks there to make friends with. But I notice, you only have about 7 posts, and you haven't been back there in a few days. Are you losing interest? I don't think you should, these are people who share a lot in common with you and you should try to participate more and become friends with them. Especially because it looks like they do regular meet-ups, so you can hang out with some new friends in real life. I found a thread about it here: http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=27&sid=94131f2d5ebcf6bee8c1caf474493af3 So you should try to get to know these people some more, I think you'll be glad you did.
Anyway, I look forward to seeing your cow drawings, please show me as soon as you feel comfortable. I'll talk to you more later!
|June 6, 2011 11:00am
Well, I have also been busy here and there with family times and dramas (also getting in on the freebies from the reopened PlayStation Store). I still feel uneasy in online socializing, I am skeptical with getting too close with people online, and I have to be cautious of any possible cyber-bullies. It is one thing to tell true stories while remaining under a cloak of anonimity and screen name; it is entirely something else in pouring one's heart out and risk being found out who he/she is in real life, followed by risk of being made fun, blackmail and all that shit. Not to mention my discomfort with trying to cope with other males. ...Pretty much, I am in constant observation-only mindset when it comes with the other Tomgirls to verify and further learn the ins and outs of being one myself.
What else is going on with you, Jackie? And I still long for meeting you in person. I would most definitely feel more comfortable and likely to lift up all of my emotional walls upon meeting you in person and hanging out for a while. I do not mean to put pressure on you or anything like that; if anything I have been feeling most of the emotional pressure.
I'll TTYL. Stay Safe with Care, Christian.
|June 6, 2011 6:40pm
Oh. Well if you don't want to do anything with them why did you want me to take a look at the forum?
It looks legit to me but if you'd rather not make any friends, that's your choice. But Chris, you have to consider that I am not a tomgirl. I can be sympathetic and all, but I don't know what it's like to be a tomgirl, and I just can't give you all the support you need. But these people at this forum are just like you - they can offer the advice, emotional support, and strategies you need to make yourself the best tomgirl you can be. Don't be scared of what you can accomplish, Chris. I believe in you!
|June 8, 2011 11:26am
It is not that making friends isn't an option, I'm just being cautious. I intend to learn and accept the typed support on the forum.
Also, in a way, you, Jackie, Are a tomgirl. You are a woman, and you like most everything of your gender; the difference being the vag. Also, you may also take to consideration the tomboys as well. I feel you can best empathize with me being a tomgirl if you consider what it would be like if you were a tomboy. It's a thought anyway.
I also will be posting more of my thoughts on the forum, so please feel free to read them for yourself.
I'll check in again later.
Stay Safe with Care, Christian.
|June 8, 2011 4:15pm
What are you talking about? I am not a tomboy or a tomgirl. I know you wish I was and I wish I was too so that I could better empathize with you, but I don't have that feeling of gender confusion. That's just the way life works out sometimes - I'm a girl through and through. Being a girl is not the same thing as being a tomgirl any more than being a boy is the same as being a tomboy.
Well, I probably won't take a look at the forum again; it's your place of sanctuary and support, and I don't want to intrude on it. But definitely keep me up to date on any new friends you make there and activities you get into with them!
|June 8, 2011 10:51pm
I'll let you know of anything of interest. I did just find an obvious, possible pretender on the forum earlier tonight. Someone pretending to be a woman. I posted a reply calling the pretender out.
I'm trying to think of something else to write about; I'm feeling a blank from fatigue. I'll hit the hay shortly. On my mind constantly, though, is wondering if you've got your next C-Ville trip planned yet. And I would like to know what else has been new with you lately too.
I'll check in again later.
Stay safe with care, Christian.
|June 8, 2011 11:19pm
Well, I think you're being a bit hasty. You say "possible" pretender, so you don't know that she is one. And these people have regular meetups, don't they? So they probably know each other. And being tomboys and tomgirls, I'm sure they've dealt with persecution the same as you have, so the people who run that forum are probably wise to it and know how to sniff it out. Go back and read that person's replies, see what she says. I bet they are all good people. Let me know, though.
Well anyway, if you're coming up short on ideas, you could tell me how the hunt for a new place to live is going. I'm feeling kind of tired right now too, so I'll write more later. Let me know how things on the forum go!!
|June 9, 2011 5:58pm
House hunt? I still have little funds; I am hardly ready to house hunt. I have told you before that Rocky is helping me get help from state services on that.
Anyhoo, I've just checked the forum; that post I told you about that I contested, it's gone. That person's post was removed. It looks like I may have been right about him/her.
Also, I have completed my craft around my drawing for my pastor. I am in a good mood, and I have not seen the purse pic on the Cwcki, so I feel confident in sharing the photos with you. :) And in good news of the topic, I have found from my 3DS's browser, I can browse for the images saved on the SD card, so they're attached to this one. Enjoy.
I'll e-mail ya later, sweetie.
Stay Safe with care, Christian.
Let me know if you are unab:e to view the third image; it may be a 3D-format image; I am uncertain, as this is the first time sending images from a 3DS.
|June 10, 2011 2:11am
Are you referring to the person named "William"? Not only are her posts still there, but she responded directly to your accusation. Where are you looking that you thought her posts were gone? It's clearly right here: http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311
Well, I'm really tired, I had a long day at work. I'll write more later tomorrow.
|June 10, 2011 9:21pm
Weird; I did look there. I feel surprised. I read down it; I stand corrected. Perhaps there was truth in screen name: william, but there was only one day between "tippy"'s June 9 entry and his post-date entry. But, it doesn't matter; it's online talk mostly.
Did you get the images I attached to the previous message? Please share your comments on them if you did get them.
Also, I have thought up something kawaii we can talk about; Makeup and Fashion ideas. To begin, I offer you this to imagine and think about: how would you make me up? What color eyeshadow(s), blush me(?), etc.? Have fun with it, and please tell me every detail. :) Also, I really need help in waxing myself (removing hair from my arms, legs, torso, brazil). You may delight yourself in playing out how you'd instruct me, or for heck, givinb me the waxing pain for pleasure. tee hee.
I'll bug ya later, cutie. Stay safe with care, Christian.
|June 12, 2011 12:04pm
I'm sorry I didn't write today, I've had a suuuper stressful day and had no time. But I just wanted to write before I go to bed to say that your makeup and fashion idea is awesome!! I'll write more tomorrow with some cool and cute ideas. Thanks for the fun suggestion! :)
|June 13, 2011 7:30pm
Well. I made you smile again. Sweet. ;)
I'll tell you something else that'll keep it there longer, I feel some more confidence in you, and I've took a chunk of the emotional wall down. I've also a cute idea, if you're in C-Ville beforehand, we can have a fun meeting date, followed, a few days later, sharing fireworks at McIntire Park. And if the mood's good, we will be seeing double fireworks. Please let me know if the timing is good for you.
I look forward to reading how you'll make me over.
Let's have a little mutual fun. :)
Stay safe, Sweetie, Chris.
|June 15, 2011 11:02am
I haven't heard from you in a while; I guess you've been busy. It's cool.
What are your thoughts on the July 4th date I suggested in my last e-mail? Is it doable with your schedule, emotions and all? I would really like to share the fireworks with someone special, You, this year. The fireworks last year were good; I have some photos, but it was lame to me being by myself the whole afternoon beforehand. Please tell me you and I can share the day together. <3
Please pardon me if I sound a bit anxious or pressure-putting; I'm feeling excitement in a unique opportunity to share with you, and I really Like and Want You, Jackie. :)
TTYL. Stay Safe with Care. XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 Christian. :)
|June 15, 2011 5:48pm
I might be able to do 4th of July fireworks with you. Me and some friends are meeting somewhere but I don't know where yet; it'd be cool to introduce you to some of them! I'll let you know what the plan is as it develops.
Now, as for your hawai'i make-up ideas that we can talk about. Since you mention waxing, I think you should wax your eyebrows. And then draw them back in with eyebrow pencils! And as for make-up, some lip liner for your luscious lips. And some heavy eye shadow! Specifically, light purple would look really good on you. Then you can be my little Kaka Cholita! I can't wait to see the new you!!
Oh, I had some other questions I keep forgetting to ask you but now I remember so I'll ask. How is your being a tomgirl going to affect the future of the Sonichu series? Like, is Sonichu himself going to be a tomgirl, or will Chris-Chan Sonichu have a tomgirl form? You should make me a drawing of Chris-Chan Tomchu, Chris!
|June 16, 2011 1:15am
You and I will have a fun day together. I look forward to it sweetly. :) And meeting your friends will be good too. I insist on you and me meeting up before July 4th as well; we can further confirm the details and all that good stuff. I'll let you pick the meeting date, time and (in C-Ville) location.
This is going to be fun and good for us.
As for integrating the Tomgirl into the future pages, it is not as you have guessed. Robbie Sonee will be the Tomgirl of the Sonichu & Rosechu family household. There is a cute story behind that as well, which I promise to tell you about on our date.
On the makeup ideas, they are good. 2/3, I am ahead of you; I use lipliner with lipstick, and I have purple eyeshadow to compliment the blue eyeshadow I have too. I'll let you help me with the eyebrow pencil later. We'll have fun together in front of the makeup mirror too. :) Another similar topic, I wear 3 pairs of earrings now, so that's 6 holes on my head. LOL I have worn hoop earrings for a while too, but they felt uncomfortable to me when I shake my head sometimes. I may try a dangling pair after All of the ear holes are permanent, which should be about mid-July. I am also thinking of a naval piercing; I feel bothered that I have to go to a tattooist to make the hole, and they charge more than the price of the average naval ring. I already purchased the naval ring, intend to put in, at the Piercing Pagoda; I learned then about a tattooist being required.
Please, keep me posted of our meeting date details. Thank you, Jackie. ;-*
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 Stay Safe with Care, Christian. A.K.A. Kaka Kreshanda.
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