Amongst this batch, Chris explained why he put up his Christmas video, denied that he had fleas, revealed that he doesn't know what "asexual" means, and yet showed his usual intolerance towards gays and transgenders. Chris's ability to notice who's writing him was terribly inconsistent here. He called out "Stephen King," but didn't catch an equally-obvious letter from Chris Brown. Likewise, a letter from someone claiming to be Magi-Chan was deleted forever, but a letter from Blake was answered without any comment as to its writer. It's likely Chris only recognized the letter from Stephen King because an episode of Family Guy was specifically dedicated to King and his works.
- 1 Answered
- 1.1 How the Chris-Chan stole Christmas
- 1.2 Mary Lee Walsh trolls IRL
- 1.3 In which Chris's brain starts to work!
- 1.4 ...then, promptly shuts down again
- 1.5 It isn't theft if Chris dumps a boyfriend on them
- 1.6 Chris hates da homos: Part 9001
- 1.7 Chris uses advantage
- 1.8 New Year's wishes
- 1.9 Moar pron plz, kthnx
- 1.10 Chris and asexuality
- 1.11 Why Chris hates prostitutes
- 1.12 Reusing the same excuses for everything else!
- 2 Rejected Mailbag
- 3 Gone forever
How the Chris-Chan stole Christmas
|From: Trevor Wierzbowski <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I use to be a big fans of yours, but after the video you posted on Christmas day to Jack, I must say I am disgusted in you. What made you post a video like that on a day like Christmas? Christmas is a day of joy and remembering the birth of our lord Jesus Christ, but you thought it was a day of posting death threats on a website where all your fans, both young and old, could watch it! What do you think God and Jesus would think of such things? I can tell you that they are more then likely very disappointed in you, as am I and no doubt many other fans are.
|I felt the anger at that moment late in the day, and I wanted it up ASAP to inform Clyde and Jack that they both are B******s, and what they have been doing is NOT helping me see their Homosexual Male kind as good people. ON the contrary, they BOTH only make me see Anger RED with them. I apologize for doing that on Christmas Day, but I had already celebrated it with my family, and I had the thought and energy at that Late Part of the Day to Tell Those Two Down.|
Mary Lee Walsh trolls IRL
Ohayou gozaimasu, Christian-kun!
It is me again, Mitsuki Tojo! I wish to thank you most humbly for your response to my email in Mailbag 3. I cannot thank you enough for you honorable words. I feel forever in your debt, Christian-Kun! I have some other questions, if I may. You gave me such a pleasant response, and answered each question with such tenderness. I admire you, Christian-Kun.
2. In Japan, when a young man searches for his woman, he starts a host honorable quest called the "Boku wa okamadesu", or the love quest of truth. How is yours going?
3. Do you like Japanese women?
Forever yours truly,
Mitsuki Tojo <3
"Boku wa okamadesu" means "I am gay/an *extremely* effeminate man" in Japanese. Chris just doesn't pick up on these things.
|You are kind, and I deeply appreciate that. :) 1) While, for me alone, my College Days were miserable and lonely, and also contained hatred and interference from a later-met adversary, I personally would not want to go back to PVCC. Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|
But I digress. *deep breath* I am not certain of the list of Majors there, but I did major in Computer Aided Drafting and Design (CADD). I recommend that you look over all the major options, and choose one that best suits you and your career desires or dreams.
2) That is poetic, and sounds accurate and most similar to my ideals for my Sweetheart Search (which I used to refer to as "Love Quest"). My mind is taking in the epiphanies, facts and all that well, and I am taking deep considerations and thoughts with all that in mind. Whereas, in real life, I still am single, with only one date that ended with a "I'm just not that into you", and lowest bed-play. So I'd say it's going so-so.
--ChrisChanSonichu 02:07, 31 December 2009 (CET)
In which Chris's brain starts to work!
|From: Stephen King <email@example.com>
Merry Christmas, Mr. Chandler! My name is Stephen King. I am somewhat of a writer, and I have always been fascinated with your writing style. You have wonderful ideas, an amazing eye for detail, and great characters with believable personalities.
I too once had many great ideas, but over the years I did them all. Some people say I should retire, but writing is my life. All I need is one good idea. So please, Mr. Chandler, you are the only person I know of, with enough drive and creativity, to help me write a novel. Tell me, what should I write about? It can be anything, but I prefer horror.
Thanks and have a good day.
Your sincere fan, Stephen Edwin King.
|REALLY? THE Stephen King? Author of such horrors as "The Mist", "Carrie", "The Shining" and "Vertigo"? Such a FAMOUS WRITER taking an interest in my own Hand-Drawn and Hand-Written works and sending me, a considerably lowly High-Functioning Autsitic Individual with Good Grades in High School, College and whatnot? Forgive me for my skepticism, but I am NO FOOL; I was tricked before by TROLLS who pretended to be Nintendo's Shigure Miyamoto, previous trusted ex gal-pals/girlfriends, a European Playstation Magazine (that went Out Of Print beforehand) Journalist, etc, etc, etc.
I will answer your question when you come clean and tell me your real name; what your Blood Mother Calls You, and NOT pretend to be a celebrity or thieve anyone's identity.
--ChrisChanSonichu 02:07, 31 December 2009 (CET)
Stephen King has never written a book called "Vertigo". He has collaborated with a comics publisher called Vertigo to create American Vampire, but Chris is probably getting King mixed up with Alfred Hitchcock.
...then, promptly shuts down again
|From: Christopher Brown <firstname.lastname@example.org>
My name's Chris also. Chris Brown. I LOVE the Sonichu Comics. I've noticed that you've gotten in some trouble with women. I have also.
Here's my story. Me and my girlfriend, Rhianna, were on the way to a fancy dinner. We got into an argument on the way there, and I ended up getting so furious with that woman that I hit her multiple times and bit her also. The police were called, and I was arrested and taken to jail. I've been having alternating mood swings. Some days, I feel like calling her up and apologizing, but other times, I want to STRANGLE THAT RIHANNA and tear her head off. However, I don't know if I want to do that, for I have my career to think about. I'm a musician, much like yourself. I'd say you have as much talent as me, if not more. Anyways, right now, I feel like driving to her house and beating her up again! What do I do to release these urges in a non-violent way? Have you ever hit a girl before? HELP!!!!!!
|Firstly, NEVER HIT A WOMAN. I suggest forgetting about her; after the way you've acted, I'd say she wants to be nowhere near you, and I would not blame her for getting a Restraining Order against you. You should consult a Psychiatrist, tell him your troubles, and let him help you sort out your mind.|
It isn't theft if Chris dumps a boyfriend on them
|From: Evang7 <email@example.com>
To Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler,
How can you claim you're TRUE and HONEST so much? The very existence of this "Let Me Get Back To You On That" mailbag is admission that you lie. Whenever someone calls you out on a lie you make, you either claim it's a troll or stuff it away where you can't see it.
You're not only lying to others, you're not even being TRUE or HONEST to yourself. Come out from your Trollsta's Paradise and face the fact that you're just as much of a jerk to your TRUE and LOYAL Sonichu Fanbase as the Trolls are to you.
Think of this from MY perspective. When a fan makes comics about Rosechu as a MAN, you get angry, don't you? And if they were to say "I will turn Rosechu into a girl like she's supposed to be", that won't undo the damage.
Replacing Simonla with Simonchu won't fix anything, I don't want EITHER CHARACTER to be in your comics. I will be kind enough to let you finish Simonla's storyline and end it in a permanent fashion resulting in her death. And she has to die IN THE PAGES, not off-screen. I am STILL serious about this.
You've been running from me for months. Get Back To Me On This immediately, stop being a coward and prove you care about your fans for once.
-Hugs and Kisses,
|You are asking me to take Wild's girlfriend and Sweetheart away from him. Do not be such a monster.|
Chris hates da homos: Part 9001
|From: bella <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I was just wondering, if two people residing in CWCville had a loving, caring and respectful homosexual relationship, would you, as the mayor of this town, mind at all? Or are there any laws stating that you cannot be homosexual in CWCville?
Just an honest question. Peace, Bella
|Gay Marriage is ILLEGAL IN Cwcville, VA.|
Chris uses advantage
|From: Frank Muller <email@example.com>
I noticed that in your To Clyde and Jack.MOV video, you scratch your head a total of ten times in about three minutes, and not in one of those "I'm thinking" ways but in the way a cat or dog digs for fleas. Have you contracted fleas?
|I do not have fleas.|
New Year's wishes
You've probably been asked this already, but what is your New Years resolution for 2010?
|Currently, I am undecided.|
Moar pron plz, kthnx
First I'd like to say that you are doing a great job with the comic! Sonichu is without a doubt the best comic I've been reading in years!
Anyway, I've noticed that you censored the 17th Ep of Sonichu. Now, I understand that the comic might, first and foremost, be geared towards children so that was probably the right thing to do. But I think that the older readers might enjoy some of that adult stuff. I know I do!
Perhaps, you could make a special issue just for the older fans? It could contain the original 17th episode and a new episode featuring nudity and perhaps some hanky-panky. I think that some of your best displays of art, in the comic anyway, are the romantic stuff! As an adult male, I really enjoy looking at Rosechu's sweet pussy and breasts!
Please consider it. Thank you and keep up the good work!
|It has been under consideration, and will be dealt with soon enough.|
Chris and asexuality
|From: that guy <firstname.lastname@example.org>
What do you think of people who are asexual? (look it up on wikipedia if you don't know what that is.)
|I get an ERECTION when I see WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED. Yet to answer your question, I have no objections with asexual, but I do feel pity for those individuals.|
The italicized part of this response was added long after the original response, on 4 January 2010. It is not known why he finally decided to actually answer the question instead of just being insecure about his sexuality.
Why Chris hates prostitutes
|From: Bla Chu <email@example.com>
Given the amount of agonising you do over your straightness and virginity and your new goal to upload the first time you have sex on to RedTube, why don't you hire a prostitute? You seem to have enough money for tons of video games, a ps3 and a big TV, so I'm sure you could afford to hire a decent one.
It just always struck me as strange that you won't hire one.
|Are you kidding? Hiring a prostitute shows Lack of Emotional Meaning between me and her; I want my intercourse with TRUE LOVE Emotions Between me and her.|
Reusing the same excuses for everything else!
|From: Hamsty the Hamster <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Yo yo yo! I just wanted to let you know, that you supportin' transgender people is a'ight!
|I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.|
Chris: friend of homos everywhere
Chris, I've tried to fight the homo urges, but it's just become too hard. And after seeing the ads on CWCipedia, I've come to realize there is only one possible truth about myself.
I am gay.
Thank you for putting those ads up.
Hugs and kisses Queenie
Magi-Chan: voice of the people
|From: Magi Chan <email@example.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler,
Sincerely yours, The REAL Magi-Chan.