Showing that Chris's fanbase is nothing if not diverse, Chris receives a letter from the guy that knocked up Bristol Palin asking for girl advice, a future North Korean dictator asking about the Korean military, and serial killer John Wayne Gacy asking about sex toys.
Chris also finally reveals the logic behind Bionic's stupid name, and hints at his upcoming, equally stupid Christmas story. He also takes a few moments to defend his use of alcohol and the blatantly racist Punchy Sonichu.
- 1 Answered
- 2 Rejected Mailbag
Chris knows all about women
|From: Levi Johnston <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Nice comic man but love doesn't work that way. I engaged my girl and got her name tattooed on me and everything and she still dumped me.
|Firstly, your perception of women being only after money is Seriously False; they are for MORE than that. They care more about honesty, understanding, compassion, caring and True Love. You should be more open and understanding with your girlfriend; listen to her fully, show her how much you truly care and love her. And if she still dumps you after that, then obviously she may not have been meant for you. Don't give up.|
|From: Bob Bobson <email@example.com>
I have a question. What is the meaning behind Bionic's name? I don't quite get the connection between it and basketball.
|It rhymes with "Sonic" and it starts with a "B"; "B" for Basketball.|
North Korea is pretty cool
|From: Kim Jong Un <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Hello Mr. Chandler!
My name is Kim Jong Un, and I'm a huge fan of your comics! My dad also loves reading the comics, but he doesn't tell a whole lot of people. We respect your thoughts of self-reliance and your personal defense of your sexuality through martial arts. I study martial arts myself, and I am impressed by your skills.
Would you like to visit our beautiful country of Korea?
What are your thoughts on the military? I think that the military should always come first, since they protect us from the horrible people outside our borders. Would you please include our soldiers in your next comic? It would make me proud to see our men and women fighting alongside Sonichu!
Kim Jong Un
|If I could, I would like to visit Korea. The military is cool; soldiers can be included in future stories. Also, my father was in the Army in the Signal Corp, stationed in North Korea just after WWII.|
A Sonichu Carol
|From: Tom Porter <email@example.com>
Hi Chris, I'm a huge fan of sonichu but am disappointed that there is no sonichu christmas special. I think that something featuring them should be maade to brighten up the holiday season. Also, you should use your wonderful voice to sing us some christmas carols. It reminds me so much of bing crosby!
|A Christmas Story will be made eventually, but right now I would like to concentrate on finishing this book.|
Hi there Chris.
I've been following Sonichu for years while I've been perusing my medical Degree. Besides Doctor Robotnik, I don't see many doctors in your comic. I was wondering how often you go to see doctors and dentists for regular check ups? Also, do you have any tips for healthy living for you fans?
|I go to my local physician every few months, and my dentist every six months. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, walk for half to a full hour daily, and drink plenty of water.|
For the man who has everything
Love your Sonichu comic, but I have a problem. I'm not sure what to get my parents for Christmas. What will you be getting your parents this year for Christmas?
|My father likes Brach's Maple Nut Goodies, and my mother likes chocolate, so some edible treats of that variety is a good suggestion.|
|From: Jeremy Holter <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
|Thank you for your question, but unfortunately I do not understand it, could you reword it, please.|
|From: Patrick Plowright <email@example.com>
Just wondering, with all the heartbreaking things which have occured [sic] in your life, have you ever had suicidal thoughts?
Yours Sincerely, Patrick Peterson
|No, I never had any tendencies of killing myself; that is just plain stupid. I have a lot to live for. Listen to Billy Joel's "You're Only Human (Second Wind)".|
A happy message
|From: oh shane <firstname.lastname@example.org>
hello!!!!! how are you? i hope youre doing well... happy holidays! i hope it is the holidays where youre at.. anyway, all the best in life and remember to SMILE always! because thats the best people look and im sure you do too
|Thank you. :)|
Sonichu and drinking
|From: T N <email@example.com>
1) Sonic became Sonichu but where are Knuckles and Tails?
2) Amy Rose met Rosechu in one of the comics. Why doesn't she care that Sonic became Sonichu and left her for Rosechu?
3) Why does Rosechu look exactly like Amy Rose besides for a few features?
|The first question is inaccurate; Sonic did not become Sonichu; they are two seperate [sic] characters. I did not have feel the need for Knuckles or Tails at this time. AGAIN, SEPERATE [sic] CHARACTERS. I designed her that way. He has his hovercraft; he can travel wherever he wants. I discourage underage drinking fully; I wanted to try it once for myself.|
Chris can't handle the truth
|From: mr.suchi suchisuchi <firstname.lastname@example.org>
its mr suchi again i just realized i was wrong. you are not retarded but only somewhat autistic. this changes everything. you should improve your drawing its not good enough. honestly. i'm telling you as a friend. and stop harrassing women. because thats what your doing.
they say you are racist. tell me, what do you think of the jews? because i'm a jew. do you hate me for being a jew?
|Your comment were NOT CALLED FOR; I do not harass women, so you are wrong there. And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews. --ChrisChanSonichu 02:54, 29 November 2009 (CET)|
Asian people call Chris out on Punchy
Hello Mister Chandler. I am speaking on behalf of America's biggest Asian American advocacy group. Some of the parents in here have let their children read the comics, and are very offended at your, character Punchy.
Punchy seems like a racist stereotype to us, with his slanted eyes and martial arts skills. Some of us have boycotted your comics. I know you mean, Mister Chandler, but please explain yourself.
PS: My father is looking into politics. My grandfather was a popular politician here, and he wants to follow in his footsteps, but some say he is short, fat and opressive. Do you, as Mayor of CWCville, have any advice for him?
|Punchy is NOT of Asian origin, and I apologize for offending you. I can only say he should do what he can.|
In which Chris recommends a sex store to a serial murderer
|From: John Gacy <email@example.com>
Great comics! I especially like the recent one where the guy magically pooed his pants. So funny! But I digress: I've been following your advice on trying to stay straight and it's working pretty well so far. I used to have such a problem being attracted to hot teenage boys and young men, but not anymore! I actually live in Charlottesville and noticed there's a sex store called Ultimate Bliss. Have you been? If so, what was your experience? Can you recommend any straight-oriented sex toys? I live with my mom right now and she might get weirded out if I order anything by mail, so I'd prefer to shop at a sex toy store in real life.
Thanks, and great comics again!
|I have been there; I recommend WOMAN-Shaped Blow-Up Dolls, the masturbation tubes with the Vaginal-Designed Openings, and ALL their Videos that feature Woman-and-Man or Woman-and-Woman or one-man-and-multiple-women sexual acts.|
Chris sucks at answering fanmail
|From: Darren Heimbach <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Ive been a true fan of Sonichu for a while. When a lot of people gave up on Sonichu after seeing you disrespect your real fans by posting videos of you drinking semen and fucking blowup dolls, I stuck by you. Now I really wonder why.
Why cant you answer the mailbag daily, and why do you only answer letters with short, two sentence replies? Its not like you have a job or anything, and its really disrepectful toward your fans. You could spend more time DAILY to answer your FAN MAIL.
Please show more respect to your true fans and answer the mailbag daily, and with more than just a couple words. We deserve it.
Chris sucks in general
|From: Crystal Chondlar <email@example.com>
I couldn't help but notice you told somebody in the mailbag to take criticism like a man and learn from it.
You have never done that. Once. Ever. You cry like a little bitch and run away, or you just completely ignore it. That inability to change is exactly why you are the failure that you are.
Now go throw this in the rejected section, you fucking hypocrite.