|Cover Date:||13 August 2009|
|Finished:||30 June 2017|
|Episodes:||22, 23, 24.1|
—Chris, September 2010.
Sonichu #11 is the twelfth comic in the Sonichu comic series, dated 13 August 2009. The cover claims to be the tenth anniversary issue. (Ten years without a "cease and desist" letter from Nintendo or Sega!) Chris abandoned the issue in December 2009, months before the tenth anniversary of Sonichu's creation came and went on 17 March 2010. For years it seemed that Chris was done with Sonichu forever.
On 4 September 2015, however, in an unprecedented act of will and determination, Chris managed to crawl back from his long dark night of abuse at the hands of the trolls and cyber-bullies, and finally released new pages. The revival of the Sonichu comic proved too stressful for Chris, in spite of the fact that he had been paid over $1,000 to do it, and he dropped the project once again after 25 October.
- 1 Production Notes
- 2 Reception
- 3 Episode 22: "A Sonichu Christmas"
- 4 Episode 23: "Simonchu & Bananafunkle”
- 5 Episode 24, Part 1: "The Clip Show: Catching Up"
- 6 Comic pages
- 7 Fan videos
- 8 References
- 9 External links
Chris began writing this issue while Sonichu #10 was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story," which is even more unendurably boring than its prose counterpart. Christmas 2009 came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with eight pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with Reldnahc and the anti-gay vaccine from the future. So far, Chris has kept the promise of not including the comic Chris as a character, restructuring the series to its original intention as an uninspired Sonic the Hedgehog homage, although he would make a cameo appearance in a set of pages near the end of the Christmas special.
2010 - Hoax conclusion
On 24 April 2010, the Sysop of the CWCipedia uploaded two new episodes from Sonichu #11. These stories picked up where Sonichu #10 left off and continued the dark and downbeat tone: Bubbles and Angelica were killed in the bombing of the CWCville Mal-Wart; Sandy Rosechu was run over by an inattentive driver; Wild committed suicide in a fit of grief and rage; Christine and Robbie were killed and Cerah badly injured when the three of them drank drain cleaner; Rosechu smothered her permanently crippled daughter with a pillow; Sonichu demanded a divorce; and Reginald Sneasel decided to show some infants his "seven-inch lightning rod." An archive of the pages can be seen here.
Surprisingly, Punchy and Blake are nowhere to be seen nor mentioned in either part of the hoax comic.
The comic picks up one morning in the Sonichu household. As Rosechu cooks breakfast, Sonichu and her discuss their bed romp right in front of Robbie, who ponders on what as "Seven inch- wightning wod" is. Sonichu informs his son that he will show him later on. Chris pops up to inform the audience that Sonichu is not a pedofork, but instead teaching his young son on sex so he will be prepared for the young Rosey he will one day engage in sex with. Magi-Chan mentally informs Sonichu of an attack on the mall- Slawheel being behind the attack. He can sense Angelica and Bubbles inside, but a psychic barrier prevents him from seeing in further. Sonichu tells him to get the CWCVille Power Rangers- he will be there after he finishes breakfast. Sonichu gets to the mall and meets with Officer Perez- who pretty much sums up what Magi Chan just said one page prior. Wild suddenly shows up.
Back at home, Reginald is at the Sonichu house for no explained reason, and young Robbie decides to ask him about a "seven inch lightning rod". Reginald, being the modest gentleman he is, whips out his penis for Robbie and Cerah to play with it, Robbie declaring he wants to put it in his mouth. Rosechu interupts and rightfully yells at Reginald. The Sneasel makes a sorry excuse that Angelica has not done her womanly duties of sexually pleasing him in over 3 months, and apologizes for exposing himself. Rosechu implies she will aide him in his needs and sends her children off to go watch Family Guy dvds (the perfect show for children). On the bottom of the page is an Axe ad "for that delicious smell".
Once in her room, Rosechu preaches to Reginald about how he should not seek adultery for his urges. Reginald sees the err of his ways and thanks Rosechu for her support. He mentally laments about Rosechu's beauty, her kindness...her body, and lusts for her, knowing she is Sonichu's. He has shown no concern nor worry that Angelica is being held hostage at the mall. Chris takes up a full page with an American flag to inform the readers that Rosechu is indeed faithful to Sonichu, and educates the readers on the dangers of cheating, such as diseases and children born with homosexuality, and how the main Rosechu gals freely express their feminism in the bedroom with their respected men.
Back at the mall, the battle has been fought completely offscreen as Wild and Sonichu talk about the aftermath. Magi Chan mentally informs them that he has found hostages, with Sonichu saying they will need ambulances and transportation for the homeless to go to the soup hotels in CWCVille. They take a moment to discuss how great the mayor is in attending to the people of the town, and go back to their task of finding Slawheel. Sonichu finds her on the next page, and punches her a few times, declaring it a great battle as Slawheel flies away on a Nimbus Cloud with Sonichu flipping her off as she leaves, Slawheel declaring that though she has given up, there are more surprises in store. The Mal-Wart blows up as Sonichu and Wild watch in horror. Magi, who somehow survived, inform them Anglica and Bubbles are dead, along with 350 others (175 innocent, 23 Jerkops, 47 Janekops, and 127 were hypnotized by Slawheel. Three Power Rangers also died valiantly). Sonichu swears on his dead friends that he will get Slawheel for her crimes.
The first part ends on Magi informing Reginald on Angelica's death (she died buying tampons and/or pads as Magi implies), and how the Sneasel should invest in a sex-doll while he partakes in a love quest to replace Angelica. Reginald shows no sorrow for his lost love, as he blames Sonichu for a moment, but now finds himself free to make moves on Rosechu.
Sonichu and Rosechu in: Dangers Above
The next episode opens on Wild and Sandy, who are adjusting to live without Simonla around. Sandy leaves for school and Wild tells her to be good and study hard. Sandy slips her earbuds in to listen to her favorite band, Christian and the Hedgehog Boys. Unfortunately, she is so distracted by her music, she walks in front of a speeding car. The driver was texting and driving, but suddenly sees the tragedy he caused. The next page cuts to her funeral as Sonichu and Rosechu pity Wild- losing his wife, and then his daughter. Rosechu attempts to empathize and offer support to Wild. Wild, overcome with grief and anger, lashes out at her, saying she's never lost anything while he has now lost his entire family. Rosechu is in shock of his anger, but Sonichu tells her to shrug it off since he's in grief. He answers his phone during the funeral with a frantic Heather on the other end. The kids got into the cleaners while Heather used the bathroom and all three kids had drank all of the drain cleaner. Sonichu and Rosechu rush to the hospital and learn the fate of their children- Robbie and Christine died from ingesting the cleaner, but Cerah lived since she is the oldest and was not fatally affected (even though shes only a few months older than Christine and all kids were the same size). However, Cerah suffered major brain damage and would need assistance for the rest of her life. Sonichu and Rosechu grieve as two headstones take up the rest of the page for the children.
Later, Sonichu falls under stress with all the medical bills. Rosechu suggests he go get help from the mayor, to which Sonichu says is no use- Chris has been missing for months and is too busy with his video games and The Wallflower to care. Sonichu mentally blames Rosechu for the kids' fates as she left the cleaner out where they could easily get to it, and Rosechu mentally laments that Sonichu doesn't attempt to understand her.
The next scene cuts to a few weeks later as Marvey Blaziken discusses with Wild the legal actions after Sandy's death. The driver was convicted of texting and driving, but since Sandy was witnessed jaywalking at the time of her death, the driver was not convicted of involuntary manslaughter. The driver is only fined for running a stop sign and is put on probation for three months. Wild gains some self-awareness and yells about how terrible the laws are in the town- they have useless things like Dating Education (ironically where Wild met Simonla). Marvey suggests they present the mayor with a petition so he can revew CWCville laws, to which Wild responds in saying that's hopeless- all of Chris's documents are signed with DS consoles. Wild excuses himself to be alone. The next page shows him with a gun, declaring he no longer wants to live and ends his life.
Sonichu drinks at TGI Fridays, verbally lashing out at the bartender to get him his fourth Long Island Iced Tea. Angelica appears to console Sonichu (most likely as a drunk hallucination by Sonichu) as he flirtingly invites her to sit with him. Meanwhile, Rosechu is at home grieving over Cerah's status, as she is tired of having to give Cerah 24/7 assistance, as Cerah lays in bed drooling and urinating. Rosechu thinks about how she dreamt of seeing her daughter walk down the aisle and start a family, but now she is "slow in the mind". Rosechu is angry over having no money to buy shoes and being forced to eat tuna from a can. She has reached her end and smothers Cerah with a pillow, mentally begging for forgiveness from her daughter. Sonichu comes home and is informed of her death. The two parents seem to shrug off their final child's death heartlessly- Rosechu glad he didn't suspect anything, and Sonichu actually relieved with her death. In a big text wall, the couple talk about their true feelings- Sonichu cannot stop blaming her for the kids' death, and Rosechu revealing she never really loved him, and it was foolish they got together just because they looked the same, and she had felt like nothing but a sex object to him and just a prize for him to show to his friends. She agrees to a divorce but declares Sonichu will pay for ruining her life.
The episode ends with a PSA from Chris to the audience about how an act of carelessness can snowball into tragic events. He reminds them all to have safe sex and to know the difference of lust and love.
Despite an overwhelmingly positive fan response to the new pages, Chris clarified in a rage-filled CWC Blog update that they were the work of a troll. During The Great Rampage 2.0 (when the CWCipedia was hacked for the second and final time), the pages were restored, but the CWCipedia died the next day.
—Chris, September 2015.
—Chris, February 2016, shortly before citing a bunch of tired excuses as to why he wouldn’t work on the comic that he was paid over $1,000 to do.
According to statements made by William Elliott Waterman and his friend, Waterman had commissioned Chris, for $100, to draw Sonichu 11 pages, as part of a pathetic attempt to get himself unbanned from a video game blog. To that end, Waterman provided a script for Sonichu 11, including a page in which he begged the moderator of the blog to unban him; however, Chris merely used the script for inspiration and heavily revised it to his liking.
On 5 September 2015, a set of uncolored development images of Sonichu #11 pages was leaked. They appear to prove that the 2015 pages were in fact new, and not something he had been holding back for an extended time.
The glorious, yet brief, resurrection of the comic on 4 September 2015, when Chris uploaded 11 new pages, was accompanied by a donation bucket on his new Etsy account. One day later, a Youtube reviewer named DStecks gave Chris $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. The donation listing was one of his best-selling items, until Etsy forced him to remove it, apparently because it violated TOS.
Despite being paid, Chris only completed a further 16 pages before dropping the project for another two years. Only 27 pages were added in 2015, but in them, the ubiquitous elements of Sonichu - boring and confusing plotlines, inappropriate portrayals of underage characters, walls of expository text and tone-deaf racism - are present and accounted for.
For the next two years, Chris would recycle a set of worn-out excuses for why he didn't feel like doing work he was paid to do. His typical claim of stress evolved to ADD, then dementia, and he also blamed Lulu for banning him over Sonichu being fanfiction. He last made those comments in April 2017.
Chris discussed the comic with Arthur Spatchcock in early 2016.
Arthur: Oh no.
Chris: And he blows up during the swim.
Arthur: Really? So he's like, he's like deathly allergic to pickles?
Arthur: He better hope he gets an endephrine shot after that.
Chris: Well he's quite, uh, he's quite strong, so he's able to survive it, and at the end of the river is uh, is a healing pond at which he recovers from the allergy fairly quick.
Arthur: Well I guess that will definitely take care of that problem.
Arthur: Now are you going to be introducing any more new characters into the series? Because right now you've already got quite a collection of people already ready to go. But seeing as how previous villains in the series have either been arrested, or, or gone, or dead, or missing, I should say, are you introducing new villains into the series based on the current, you know, issues in your life?
Chris: I would say that's still yet to be determined. But at least I was-- at least I am definitely glad to give Count Graduon a past human form with which to lead into his spirit, and um, very small spoiler, among the uh, people he'll be bringing in uh, the bodies, he finds somebody that looks nearly exactly like he used to, and he brings in-- he becomes one of the Jerkops, so he brings him in and moves his soul from the Metal Sonichu into that body.
Arthur: Now I gotta tell you right now, I definitely want to see more Metal Sonichu.
Chris: Yeah, you'll definitely see Graduon's soul in Metal Sonichu's body, and uh, Skysoar will be employed under Graduon, and he'll make a few more of them.
Arthur: See, what you need in the series, I think to really push the bad guys now, instead of just having Jerkops, you need like, robotic Jerkops, like 2.0.
Chris: Uh, yeah, pretty much, uh...
Arthur: After all, when you have a hero like Sonichu... Sonichu is already pretty powerful, and all of his friends are pretty strong too. You need to start adding that concept of conflict by making the enemies tougher too.
Chris: ...Yes, that will be taken under consideration. I already have a few-- I already have a few ideas on my mind, among which. But that is definitely one I could definitely add into, uh, the uh, into the Jerkop and Janekops, there.
Chris: Make 'em-- make 'em a bit cyborg.
Chris: Yeah. ...Quite. But anyway, yes, I will take all that under great consideration.
After 561 days of stress-fuelled inaction, Chris suddenly resumed work on the comic in May 2017, with a Live Drawing Stream on the 8th, in which he took half an hour to draw the line-art for a single page. The sketch from that session, with three others, were posted to Facebook on the 11th. On the 14th-15th, he recorded more drawing and filmed himself using Photoshop. On the 23rd, he posted twelve fully colored pages to Facebook, finally putting an end to the Christmas special.
|Sketches from May 2017|
In June 2017, Chris finished more pages and placed them behind a patron-only wall on Patreon, stating that free samples would no longer be available. This move is in marked contrast to what he had advertised on Etsy two years before, when he said, "All completed Past and NEW Pages will be uploaded and Publicly viewable on my Facebook Page." Regardless of his shady business dealings, fans continued throwing money at him, with some leaking the pages to the general public.
After eight years of development, he finished Sonichu 11 on 30 June.
The printed edition of the book contains three pages worth of credits to people who had donated/pledged money to his Etsy and Patreon accounts, spanning nearly two years. The first two mentioned are early backers Mister V.B.B. and Daniel Steckly.
The ultimate content of future episodes was subject of much speculation. Sonic appears prominently on the cover, making his reappearance no surprise; however, the bizarre way that he returns (apparently "played" by Silvana) seems to be a misguided attempt to avoid copyright infringement by having the blue hedgehog not be the "real" Sonic.
Chris has said that "The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed." This was pretty incomprehensible, as a reboot is a declaration by a Great Director that previously-established canon is null and void, or at least irrelevant. A clip show, on the other hand, is a TV episode composed mainly of excerpts from previous episodes. Neither of these correspond to answered questions or revealed plots. It's possible that by "Clip Show," Chris meant that Sonichu #11 would contain more backstory, while by "reboot," he meant that the existing "plot" would be clumsily resolved in a couple of pages before establishing a new status quo. In the end, neither of this really happened, the "clip show" instead being a flash-forward followed by a flashback.
Episode 22: "A Sonichu Christmas"
|A Sonichu Christmas|
|Facebook:||A Sonichu Christmas|
|CWCipedia:||A Sonichu Christmas|
|Audiobooks:||A Sonichu Christmas|
This episode is not numbered, but as it skips from 21 to 23, this is clearly intended as Episode 22.
In December 2009, in response to requests for a Sonichu Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story," at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's prose was adapted into comic form - the short story "Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs" served as the basis for Episodes 1 and 2 in Sonichu #0. The story contains nothing of substantial value to the overarching plot of Sonichu, instead just depicting the Lovehogs and their hellish offspring partaking in various boring and tedious Christmas activities, with no conflict or general narrative friction whatsoever.
The comic opens to show Sonichu's family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris reused the original 14 Brunchland Lane picture seen in Sonichu #9 with half-assed editing of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of Reldnahc running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cerah, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.
While rehearsing for a Christmas pageant at her school, Christine plagiarizes a joke from Family Guy when she ad libs that the Virgin Mary may not really have been a virgin. Sonichu and Robbie are seen to be hanging stockings, and Robbie butchers a quote from A Visit from St. Nicholas. After a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes-inducing speech about loving his little angelic kids.
Meanwhile Rosechu and Cerah make cookies. Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a Jewish kid named Kevin in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cerah says "I wuv you!" while facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall.
In the living room, Robbie and Cerah notice that it has begun to snow. As they watch, Sonichu and Rosechu discuss the weather forecast and decide to hoard groceries while the roads are still clear. While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites Luke 1:45-55 (which Chris types as Luke 1:46.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes.. While this passage is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any American public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal. Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries, and is welcomed home woodenly by Rosechu. His trip to the grocery store is not depicted or described in any way, rendering it a pointless plot feature.
The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A KCWC announcer details CWCville school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "coca" and a warm shower. Rosechu nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." The kids wake and greet their father in unsettling unison, to which Sonichu replies with a hearty "good mornint". Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of snow, Sonichu decides to show off in front of the kids by jumping up the chimney and using his super speed to scatter the snow off of his yard, heedless of the likelihood that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and possibly cause a tragic accident. Exhausted, he heads back into the house for a shower. Waiting patiently by the bathroom, Rosechu holds a hideous novelty Christmas towel and blesses Sonichu for doing thirty seconds of chores.
To bore us further, we are informed that Robbie plays video games and watches television and reminded that Rosechu is motivated only by her desire to cook and clean. Cerah, meanwhile, plays Call of Duty: World at War with Kevin the Jew. Kevin's character dies and his score is erased (even though Call of Duty doesn't work that way as a game), and when he complains, Cera chides him that he "can't be so attached to a set of pixels." The two fight over the game, and soon after Magi-Chan begins chatting to Cerah telepathically about the incident, exploring her feelings for Kevin despite the fact that she's supposed to be a toddler. Meanwhile, Sonichu and Robbie meet a homeless woman and instead of offering her a place to sleep in their luxury home, they call her a cab to a soup hotel. Robbie, eager for adulation, announces that he feels embarrassed by his professed enormous reservoir of empathy for the less fortunate.
Blake and Bubbles are approached by Inos, who wishes them a happy Kwanzaa. Blake suddenly remarks furiously that he isn't racist before expressing furious rage at the mere notion of someone thinking he is black, insisting mystifyingly that his fur does not look "skinburn colour." A retroactive flashback informs us that Simonla actually survived the Voltorb attack in Sonichu #10 due to a healing ability that was never referenced before. She is reunited with Wild, her daughter Sandy, and Zapina, who hugs Simonla and calls her "sis."
As they leave the hospital, Sandy's thoughts turn toward the "bad men" in Amish Country and whether or not they celebrate Christmas. Wild immediately checks his smartphone and explains very tersely that the Amish actually celebrate two Christmases, focusing on "family, togetherness and reglion [sic]". Sandy imagines Mao and Alec trading simple building materials on Christmas, before almost orgasming at the thought of raising a barn. Mao and Alec also appreciate the fact that Sean is placated by rocks, for he indeed rocks. Evan is unmentioned. Sandy concludes her fantasy by proclaiming the Amish "weird". The entire segment is, of course, a ham-fisted attempt to remind everyone that Chris rectonned the violent deaths of these men in Sonichu 10 into an exile into Amish country.
Wild and Simonla then take Sandy and Zapina off to Country Cookin' to celebrate. A nunwarranted author's note informs the reader that all Sonichus and Rosechus drive hybrids. Meanwhile, up in the mountains for some reason, Magi-Chan and Silvana Rosechu huddle around a fire, and exchange wooden statements about how they are "fated" to be a couple. Silvana thanks Magi-Chan for all the character development that has occurred off-panel, and asks if he remembers how they first met. Magi-Chan suggests, "at the risk of breaking the fourth wall", they save the story they both know for another time. Silvana then demands they "shut up, make out and mate up" and Magi-Chan expresses his desire to destroy the mountain they are on via violent intercourse.
We then see Punchy decorating his dojo and Angelica "sets a table" (the "table" is the altar of her church, which Chris evidently believes Catholics use as a dining table). No sign of Reginald or Layla though.
At long last, we see Christine performing in the Nativity Play. Suddenly, Christine begins to evolve, and runs off stage in embarrassment. She texts Rosechu about her clothes being destroyed and the great urgency with which she needs new ones. This once again muddies the waters regarding Sonichus and Rosechus and clothing; Christine is practically hysterical over not having any clothes to wear even though she's covered in fur and many of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon never wear clothing at all. Clothing issues notwithstanding, Rosechu finds the now-adult Christine behind a locked door, and comforts her by sharing in a duet of "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman". Sonichu suddenly returns with "coat, sandals, socks, panties" before regaling everyone with a pointless, extremely detailed account of his trip home and back. Christine triumphantly returns to the stage and completes her part, despite dwarfing the rest of the cast.
After the play, Cera approaches Kevin and apologizes for killing off his video game character, offering him dreidel cookies as a way of making amends. Kevin calmly explains how Cera's aggressive video game playing has proven "too much for him" and unceremoniously breaks up with her. These characters are supposed to be very young children. Devastated, Cera breaks down into tears and the famously empathetic Robbie comes over to comfort her. Together, they cry for two whole minutes before deciding they're over it. Note that this is one of few occasions in Sonichu where an undesirable situation is not resolved in an artifically cheerful way. Christine scoops up her siblings, Rosechu mentioning how she's gone from "middle child to big sister", and they all head off in their electric car.
Later, at the CWCville Shopping Center, all the Sonichus and Rosechus have gathered together around a large Christmas tree to engage in holiday merriment. Angelica reveals that she kicked Reginald out of her house after he "trashed her bed", but plans to apologize to him later. Punchy responds with the news that Layla has left him because she could not get along with the Bananasauros. Simonla asks what has become of Chris since her recovery, at which point Rosechu reveals that in the time since the last issue, Chris has transitioned into a woman and now goes by Christine. Sonichu goes on a spiel about accepting others for their differences and apologizes for past remarks he has made. Wild suggests that the gang should visit Chris to show their support, and the rest agree. Allison Amber makes her sole appearance this issue just to say that she has other plans and can't go with them.
In Virginia, the assorted 'chus show up at Chris' house with a cake. Chris, who is depicted with photographs a la Sonichu 6, accepts their kindness. Blake comments that Chris has a nice rack and then they all pose for a group photo, concluding an episode that had been in the making for eight years.
Episode 23: "Simonchu & Bananafunkle”
In 2017, Chris posted Waterman’s 2015 script for this episode, which the latter had paid Chris $100 to produce. Chris had taken many artistic liberties with the material. Notably, Waterman had included a scene in which he pleaded with the administration of a video game blog to unban him; instead, Chris rewrote the lines to mock Waterman for being “juvenile.” Despite Chris being two years late on delivering, disregarding much of his script, and insulting him in the finished product, Waterman continued to give him money for the comic, donating through Patreon.
In West Virginia, Simonchu is repeatedly blown up by random underground Voltorbs while hunting for fossils when he receives a text from Simonla inviting him to her house. Simonchu decides to go and visit (taking a fossil and a Razor Claw with him), and we are treated to a flashback in which the retconned ending of Sonichu 10 shows that the Asperpedia 4 were not brutally murdered, but instead deprived of all their possessions by the state and imprisoned on an Amish farm for life in a less gory but still unconstitutional sentencing. Despite Simonla's retconned survival, Wild is shown screaming at a clearly distraught Simonchu, calling him a "murderer" despite nobody being dead, threatening to violently assault him (presumably with the intent to kill) over a murder that no longer took place. This begs the question-why does Simonchu risk death by showing up to Wild's house in person when he's clearly shown to own a perfectly functional iPhone?
Simonchu arrives at Simonla's house, where the latter suffers a fit of sanity and (reasonably) forgives Simonchu for his involvement in her not-murder, as after all, he wasn't the one who blew her up. Suddenly, Sandy returns home, and upon spotting Simonchu seems to immediately forget that her mother's death was retconned and yells at Simonla to "get away from that male". Simonla yells at her to apologize, and the mention of her middle name ("Samantha") inexplicably causes the clearly psychotic Sandy to enter a berserk state in which she breaks the fourth wall in order to threaten to drill the reader's dick off if they even so much as mention a variation on "Samantha".
Sandy refuses to forgive Simonchu for being "one of those trolls", prompting Simonchu to protest that he was against the assassination plot in the first place, to which Sandy screams at him to shut up. A clearly frightened Simonchu tries to stutter out a "Yes Sandy" in affirmation, but unfortunately Sandy is ALSO inexplicably enraged by shorthand variations on her FIRST name, which makes you wonder why Wild and Simonla don't just have Chris legally change it to something else so she doesn't drill someone's dick out at some point in the future.
The situation only escalates when Wild suddenly returns home, due to a Deus ex Machina sense telling him to be where the plot required him to be. Wild immediately pulls out a vine and by the next panel, Simonchu is out cold due to Wild committing the assault he threatened him with. It's only THEN that Simonla yells at her family to stop being idiots for five seconds, remember that her death was completely retconned out, and apologize to Simonchu for assaulting him once he regains conciousness. At no point does Simonla announce an intention to apologize to Simonchu for causing the whole mess by being too lazy to text her husband and daughter about this in advance.
Upon recovery, Simonchu claims that he was abused by the Asperpedia 4 by being trained to fight high level Pokémon and was "mentally dumbed down" by "videos of the seriously mentally challenged". Despite being locked in a cage, he was able to obtain Internet access by stealing someone's phone, getting Simonla's number, and sending her evidence of his plight. Simonla apparently promised to launch a rescue attempt that never took place.
Simonchu then explains that the plot against Simonla's life was a retaliatory strike for Chris's mass murder of hundreds of people in Sonichu #10. He details their plan to kill everyone Sonichu and Rosechu at the mall, which was apparently supposed to involve Sean throwing rocks at people and Alec setting more than one Voltorb. Simonchu explains that his role in the plan was to distract Magi-chan's psychic surveilance by thinking "Kill Simonla" repeatedly, a tactical decision that is comparable to setting off the sprinklers so you can commit arson. During his incarceration, Wild and Sandy visited him for the sole purpose of screaming at him for things that were clearly beyond his ability to control (once again calling him a "murderer" despite nobody dying), presumably because Simonla once again neglected to tell someone about an important thing involving Simonchu.
Wild and Sandy give a standard Chris pseudo-apology and the issue is promptly forgotten about. Simonchu goes on to explain that he moved to West Virginia to dig for fossils until recently, as he felt "banned from Virginia" despite being acquitted of any involvement in a crime and CWCville merely being one city out of many. Wild asks Simonchu for the Razor Claw so he can give it to Reginald so the latter can evolve, while Sandy offers to take Simonchu to the local museum to have the mystery fossil revived.
Thirty minutes later, Wild arrives at Angelica's church and gives her the Razor Claw. We then flash forward four days to December 22nd, 2008. Angelica gives Reginald the Razor Claw, the two have sex (thankfully offscreen for once)), and then promptly fall asleep. Reginald then presumably gains a level in his sleep while holding on to the Razor Claw at night, causing him to suddenly evolve into a Weavile. He then spends five minutes trashing every part of the room save for the section of the bed Angelica is still sleeping in due to some sort of feral rage. Angelica awakes to find Reginald huddled in the corner, now completely coherent and claiming that he's "evolved against his own will" (despite the fact that all he had to do to stop it was not hold on to the Razor Claw at night) and despite Angelica's pleas, he leaves for her safety because he thinks he is now "vicious and more dark than the night", forcing Angelica and her sister nuns to clean up his mess.
Chris then interjects, apologizes for not giving the episode a title yet, and explains that the rest of the episode will be based on a script Waterman gave him in 2015, though Chris states that he has taken creative liberty to add more details to the story.
Back on December 18th, 2008, Simonchu and Sandy arrive at the Museum and give the mystery fossil to an unnamed Rosechu scientist (who Simonchu considers asking out). While they wait for the fossil to be revived, Simonchu expresses an intention to move to CWCville and Sandy explains that despite being less than a few months old she was placed in the fourth grade after what was presumably a basic intelligence test. The scientist Rosechu then returns, announcing that the revived fossil is a new species of Pokémon that has been dubbed the Bananasaur (a Grass/Dragon type) and requests that Simonchu and Sandy breed it to obtain new Bananasaurs for research purposes.
The Bananasaur does not appear to be a normal Pokémon, as Sandy explains that it's not using whatever universal language Pokémon use to talk to one another to communicate. In fact, it appears to speak complete nonsense. At a nearby manga store, Punchy overhears what the Bananasaur is trying to tell Sandy--that he's a fan of Samurai Pizza Cats and AC/DC. Punchy enters the museum and begins to converse with the Bananasauros, who explains that he is the recently reincarnated spirit of someone who was struck by a car while listening to music on his phone while going to play vidya with his friends. Punchy offers the Bananasaur some Pocky, and Simonchu suggests that Punchy be the one to take care of the Bananasuar as nobody else can understand him.
Suddenly, the Bananasaur evolves into a banana-shaped dinosaur thing which Punchy dubs the Bananasauros (clearly meant to be Bananasaurus). Punchy concludes that it must have been a friendship-induced evolution and takes the Bananasauros home. On the way to Punchy's house, the Bananasauros elaborates on his past life, claiming to be the reincarnated spirit of a high school "seinor", skateboarder, and "expert rad gamer" named David Rotgard. David the Bananasauros goes on to claim that he deserves his current fate, as shortly before his death he "cheaded Caitllyn on Henny". The two return home, and while David is happy to see that he can still operate a controller, Layla is upset that Punchy got a pet/adopted a baby/took in a random highschooler without so much as a phone call. Punchy promises to take care of their new friend, but Layla threatens to leave him if it becomes too much for her to handle. Punchy leaves to go play Call of Duty with his new roommate.
On December 22nd, Punchy takes David to the local Pokémon Day Care Center and forces him to have sex with a Ditto in the form of a female Bananasauros, telling him to suck it up. David is clearly traumatized by the whole experience and sorely regrets every life decision he made that resulted in being reincarnated as a banana dragon thing. After the Ditto lays the eggs containing David's children, David requests that he be neutered so he never has to be raped by a Ditto again. Later in the week, Punchy takes David to Nabe's dojo to teach him how to fight. Punchy easily gains the upper hand, until David notices a skateboard propped up against a tree after being thrown through a wall.
David crashes through the wall on a skateboard and begins fighting Punchy again, right after the Sonichu had patched up the holes from their training session a few moments ago. Punchy complains that David "lacks discipline" and is offended that he'd consider bringing a skateboard onto "sacred ground", but fights him anyway. David beats Punchy, as his skateboarding-based fighting style is too unorthodox for Punchy to read, but as he stands over Punchy and gloats, a loose floorboard flings Punchy into David with enough force to send both of them to the hospital.
Punchy and David return home to find Layla packing her bags, furious that Punchy would continue to associate with David after the latter's antics landed them in the hospital. Layla tells Punchy to not bother trying to find her, that she's unfriended him on Facebook, and that she never wants to see him again. Layla then slugs the Bananasauros in the face and devours part of his body, commenting that he doesn't even taste like a fruit. David tries to apologize to Punchy via the standard Chris format, but Punchy is too pissed at him for destroying his relationship in just four days of existing to care.
Chris then butts in, declaring that he's going to be summarizing the rest of the episode because "time is short" and he wants to get on to his original ideas already. He explains that Layla hooked up with Reginald and got a job working as a secretary with the local power company and that the two moved in with each other shortly after Christmas. Punchy grows increasingly distraught as David doesn't pick up after himself, does nothing but play video games, and hogs the TV so much that Punchy can't enjoy Samurai Pizza Cats (with Chris insulting Waterman for the latter's idea that the two could be best roommates). David is hired for odd jobs by Shin-Nabe as a form of discipline training.
The episode ends with Magi-chan deciding to butt in, explaining that he's been looking for the cast's Mega Stones since the end of Sonichu 10, that he's fully aware of whatever it is that Graduon's planning, and spoilers that Chris will "nullify" a "spot of havoc" at a SLGBTQ festival in 2009, presumably referring to something in Sonichu #12, while claiming that Chris will stop writing slice of life stories after that.
Episode 24, Part 1: "The Clip Show: Catching Up"
Taking place on August 21st 2009, Episode 24 consists mostly of flashbacks in attempt to form an approximation of clip show episode. The chapter clearly displays that Chris doesn't understand how clip shows are supposed to work.
The comic opens with a confusing "behind-the-scenes prologue" in which Silvana Rosechu is getting ready to play a guest star in what she calls, "an episode of our history." She gets dressed and then transforms into Sonic the Hedgehog as a man with a name tag labeled "STAFF" tells her cameras are rolling.
Sonic comes across Sonichu and Rosechu in the mall carrying large amounts of bags while lamenting the lack of carts in malls. The three have a difficult to read conversation about sales "featuring the CWC-sclusives until Amy decides to go off to shop some more. Sonichu and Sonic sit down on a bench and catch up on the events in each other's lives since they last interacted in Sonichu 1.
Sonichu mentions his children as the scene transitions to 12:30pm February 17, 2009 at AnnWeston elementary school. The info box also informs us that it is 65 degrees "Farenheit" for no apparent reason. Cera and Christine Rosey and Robbie Sonee are having a tea party when they are interrupted by a bully who throws a baseball at Robbie's head. Robbie retaliates with an electric attack, but it has no effect. The bully tries to get help from a police officer to no avail. He then calls for a boy named Dogson saying, "It's time to play for our team, boy." as he kisses him to get the officer's attention. The cop reveals himself to be a Jerkop by shouting, "There will be no love in the world of Graduon, kid!" turning to fight attack the bully.
Enraged, Cera defeats the Jerkop with a series of thunderpunches, paralyzing him. The bully runs away while Robbie and Cera celebrate. Cera evolves into Cera Rosechu, destroying her clothing. Robbie asks Cera how she feels, and she replies with, "I feel more knowledged. I feel stronger. my perception of things have changed a bit. I feel like I could take on the whole world! And then,... I feel a chill! Darn! I'm naked!" Robbie goes off to call Sonichu to bring Cera some clothes.
Cut back to the present with Sonichu and Sonic still talking on a bench. Sonichu explains how when Robbie evolved, he realized he was transexual, and after coming out to his sisters, doctors and Magi-Chan helped Robbie transition to Roberta. Sonichu claims that although he was "bothered some with that boy body dressing up girly," he eventually got used to it, and Roberta's transition was so effective that every day her breasts grew bigger, her face got smoother, and her belly got slimmer. Sonic is flabbergasted by all of this. Chris then shows up out of nowhere, and Sonic says she looks familiar. Sonichu explains she is Chris. Sonic is surprised, and accuses Chris’s medallion of being fake. Chris then uses her medallion to transform into a feminine form of Chris Chan Sonichu, and Sonic is so astonished that his jaw drops. Sonichu grabs a microphone out of nowhere and introduces “Miss Chris Chan Sonichu” Chris then asks for his flashback to be played.
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Special Episode - A Sonichu Christmas
|12 pages from 2009|
|11 pages from 4 September 2015 (pre-$1,000 donation)|
|16 pages from 25 October 2015 (post-$1,000 donation)|
|12 pages from 23 May 2017|
|48 pages, June 2017, Patreon-exclusive|
The last three pages contains a list of donors, as a sign of gratitude from Chris, which are only in the print version of the comic.
|Sonichu #11 Trailer|
|Stardate||11 August 2011|
|Subject Matter||Sonichu #11|
|Video Type||Fan trailer|
|TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos|
- Jackie Chat 3
- Live Drawing Streams
- Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages
- September 2015 Facebook Posts#Sonichu 11 Continues
- February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism
- File:Waterman commission CWC $100 .png
- May 2016 Facebook posts#Etsy listing removal
- February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism
- 2017 tweets#Doopie defends Chris
- May 2017 Facebook posts#Patreon plans
- Mailbag 51