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Chris has yet to complete this project due to stress.
- It has been 33 days since Chris begged for money.
- It has been 470 days since Chris worked on his paid obligations to make new Sonichu content.
|Cover Date:||13 August 2009|
|Page Count:||39 (so far)|
—Chris, September 2010.
—Chris, September 2015.
—Chris, February 2016, shortly before citing a bunch of tired excuses as to why he won’t work on the comic that he was paid over $1,000 to do.
Sonichu #11 is the twelfth comic in the Sonichu comic series, dated 13 August 2009. The cover claims to be the tenth anniversary issue. (Ten years without a "cease and desist" letter from Nintendo or Sega!) Chris abandoned the issue in December 2009, months before the tenth anniversary of Sonichu's creation came and went on 17 March 2010. For years it seemed that Chris was done with Sonichu forever. On 4 September 2015, however, in an unprecedented act of will and determination, Chris managed to crawl back from his long dark night of abuse at the hands of the trolls and cyber-bullies, and finally released new pages. The revival of the Sonichu comic proved too stressful for Chris, in spite of the fact that he had been paid over $1,000 to do it, and he dropped the project once again after 25 October.
Chris began writing this issue while Sonichu #10 was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story," which is even more unendurably boring than its prose counterpart. Christmas 2009 came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with eight pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with Reldnahc and the anti-gay vaccine from the future. So far, Chris has kept the promise of not including the comic Chris as a character, restructuring the series to its original intention as an uninspired Sonic the Hedgehog homage.
The glorious, yet brief, resurrection of this comic on 4 September 2015, when Chris uploaded 11 new pages, was accompanied by a donation bucket on his new Etsy account. One day later, a Youtube reviewer named DStecks gave Chris $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. The donation listing was one of his best-selling items, until Etsy forced him to remove it, apparently because it violated TOS. Money would go towards production of Sonichu #11, with a single character drawing offered to each person who donated, almost like a poor man's Patreon. Chris completed a further 16 pages before dropping the project. In February 2016, he claimed that he was too stressed to continue Sonichu 11.
Only 27 pages were added in 2015, but in them, the ubiquitous elements of Sonichu - boring and confusing plotlines, inappropriate portrayals of underage characters, walls of expository text and tone-deaf racism - are present and accounted for.
A Sonichu Christmas
|A Sonichu Christmas|
|Facebook:||A Sonichu Christmas|
|CWCipedia:||A Sonichu Christmas|
|Audiobooks:||A Sonichu Christmas|
In December 2009, in response to requests for a Sonichu Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story," at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's prose was adapted into comic form - the short story "Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs" served as the basis for Episodes 1 and 2 in Sonichu #0. The story contains nothing of substantial value to the overarching saga of Sonichu, instead just depicting the Lovehogs and their hellish offspring partaking in various boring and tedious Christmas activities, with no conflict or general narrative friction whatsoever.
The comic opens to show Sonichu's family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris reused the original 14 Brunchland Lane picture seen in Sonichu #9 with half-assed editing of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of Reldnahc running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cerah, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.
While rehearsing for a Christmas pageant at her school, Christine plagiarizes a joke from Family Guy when she ad libs that the Virgin Mary may not really have been a virgin, which has the unfortunate effect of making it seem like Christine has been raped or molested. Sonichu and Robbie are seen to be hanging stockings, and Robbie butchers a quote from a holiday classic. After a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes-inducing speech about loving his little angelic kids.
Meanwhile Rosechu and Cerah make cookies. Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a Jewish kid named Kevin in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cerah says "I wuv you!" while facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall.
In the living room, Robbie and Cerah notice that it has begun to snow. As they watch, Sonichu and Rosechu discuss the weather forecast and decide to hoard groceries while the roads are still clear. While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites Luke 1:45-55 (which Chris types as Luke 1:46.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how GodJesus will reward the humble and punish the proud and the mighty. While this passage is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any American public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal.
Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries, and is welcomed home woodenly by Rosechu. His trip to the grocery store is not depicted or described in any way, rendering it a pointless plot feature.
The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A KCWC announcer details CWCville school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "coca" and a warm shower. Rosechu nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." The kids wake and greet their father in unsettling unison, to which Sonichu replies with a hearty "good mornint." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of snow, Sonichu decides to show off in front of the kids by jumping up their chimney like Santa Claus. Outside, he uses his super speed to scatter the snow off of his yard, heedless of the likelihood that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and possibly cause a tragic accident. Exhausted, he heads back into the house for a shower. Waiting patiently by the bathroom (because Chris thinks women spend all their time waiting to be directed by men), Rosechu holds a hideous novelty Christmas towel and blesses Sonichu for doing thirty seconds of chores.
To bore us further, we are informed that Robbie plays video games and watches TV and reminded that Rosechu is motivated only by her desire to cook and clean. Cerah, meanwhile, plays Call of Duty: World at War, an eight-year-old video game, with Kevin the Jew. Kevin's character dies and his score is erased (even though Call of Duty doesn't work that way as a game), and when he complains, Cera chides him that he "can't be so attached to a set of pixels." The two fight over the game, and soon after Magi-Chan begins chatting to Cerah telepathically about the incident (presumably having been monitoring her thoughts), exploring her feelings for Kevin despite the fact that she's supposed to be a toddler. Meanwhile, Sonichu and Robbie meet a homeless woman and instead of offering her a place to sleep in their luxury home provided by the city of CWCville, they call her a cab to a soup kitchen. Robbie, eager for adulation, announces that he feels embarrassed by his professed enormous reservoir of empathy for the less fortunate.
Blake and Bubbles are approached by Inos, who wishes them a happy Kwanzaa. Blake suddenly remarks furiously that he isn't racist before expressing furious rage at the mere notion of someone thinking he is black, insisting mystifyingly that his fur does not look "skinburn colour." A retroactive flashback informs us that Simonla actually survived the Voltorb attack in Sonichu #10 due to a healing ability that was never referenced before. She is reunited with Wild, her (for all intents and purposes identical) daughter Sandy, and Zapina, who hugs Simonla and calls her "sis."
As they leave the hospital, Sandy's thoughts turn toward the "bad men" in Amish Country and whether or not they celebrate Christmas. Wild immediately checks his smart phone and explains very tersely that the Amish actually celebrate two Christmases, focusing on "family, togetherness and reglion [sic]". Sandy imagines Mao and Alec trading simple building materials on Christmas, before almost orgasming at the thought of raising a barn. Mao and Alec also appreciate the fact that Sean is placated by rocks, for he indeed rocks. All their discourse is conducted in English for some reason. Evan is unmentioned. Sandy concludes her fantasy by proclaiming the Amish "weird". The entire segment is, of course, a ham-fisted attempt to remind everyone that Chris rectonned the violent deaths of these men in Sonichu 10 into an exile into Amish country.
Wild and Simonla then take Sandy and Zapina (who may or may not have her own family) off to Country Cookin' to celebrate. A totally unwarranted author's note informs the reader that all Sonichus and Rosechus drive hybrids. Meanwhile, up in the mountains for some reason, Magi-Chan and Silvana Rosechu huddle around a fire, and exchange wooden statements about how they are "fated" to be a couple. Silvana thanks Magi-Chan for all the character development that has occurred off-panel, and asks if he remembers how they first met. Magi-Chan confusingly suggests, "at the risk of breaking the fourth wall", they save the story they both know for another time. Silvana then demands they "shut up, make out and mate up" and Magi-Chan expresses his desire to literally destroy the mountain they are on via violent intercourse.
We then see Punchy decorating his dojo (since all Asians celebrate Christmas, apparently), and Angelica "sets a table" (the "table" is the altar of her church, which Chris evidently believes Catholics use as a dining table). No sign of Reginald or Layla though; perhaps Reginald's constant attempts at relationship sabotage have finally borne fruit, or more likely Chris has lost interest in the characters and they will never be mentioned again.
At long last, we see Christine performing in the Nativity Play (along with Kevin, the practicing Jew). Suddenly, Christine begins to evolve, and runs off stage in embarrassment. She texts Rosechu (since everybody just has a smartphone in this issue) about her clothes being destroyed and the great urgency with which she needs new ones. This once again muddies the waters regarding Sonichus and Rosechus and clothing; Christine is practically hysterical over not having any clothes to wear even though she's covered in fur and many of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon never wear clothing at all.
Clothing issues notwithstanding, Rosechu finds the now-adult Christine behind a locked door, and comforts her by sharing in a duet of "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman". Sonichu suddenly returns with "coat, sandals, socks, panties" before regaling everyone with a pointless, extremely detailed account of his trip home and back. Christine triumphantly returns to the stage and completes her part, despite dwarfing the rest of the cast.
After the play, Cera approaches Kevin and apologizes for killing off his video game character, offering him dreidel cookies as a way of making amends. Kevin calmly explains (inexplicably employing a huge amount of military jargon) how Cera's aggressive video game playing has proven "too much for him" and unceremoniously breaks up with her. These characters are supposed to be very young children.
Devastated, Cera breaks down into tears and the famously empathetic Robbie comes over to comfort her. Together, they cry for two whole minutes before deciding they're over it. Note that this is one of few occasions in Sonichu where an undesirable situation is not resolved in an artifically cheerful way. Christine scoops up her siblings, Rosechu mentioning how she's gone from "middle child to big sister", and they all head off in their electric car.
On 24 April 2010, the Sysop of the CWCipedia uploaded two new episodes from Sonichu #11. These stories picked up where Sonichu #10 left off and continued the dark and downbeat tone: Bubbles and Angelica were killed in the bombing of the CWCville Mal-Wart; Sandy Rosechu was run over by an inattentive driver; Wild committed suicide in a fit of grief and rage; Christine and Robbie were killed and Cerah badly injured when the three of them drank drain cleaner; Rosechu smothered her permanently crippled daughter with a pillow; Sonichu demanded a divorce; and Reginald Sneasel decided to show the world his "seven-inch lightning rod." An archive of the pages can be seen here.
Despite an overwhelmingly positive fan response to the new pages, Chris clarified in a rage-filled CWC Blog update that they were the work of a troll. During The Great Rampage 2.0 (when the CWCipedia was hacked for the second and final time), the pages were restored, but the CWCipedia died the next day.
Special Episode - A Sonichu Christmas
|12 pages from 2009|
|11 pages from 4 September 2015 (pre-$1,000 donation)|
|16 pages from 25 October 2015 (post-$1,000 donation)|
On 5 September 2015, a set of uncolored development images of Sonichu #11 pages was leaked. They appear to prove that the 2015 pages were in fact new, and not something he had been holding back for an extended time.
What Can We Anticipate?
The ultimate content of future episodes can only be speculated on; doubtless, it will consist of the first thing that comes to Chris's head whenever he can be bothered to scrawl a few pages. Sonic appears prominently on the cover, making it probable that he will make his first appearance since he helped Sonichu rescue Rosechu way back in Sonichu #1.
Chris has said that "The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed." This is almost entirely incomprehensible, as a reboot is a declaration by a Great Director that previously-established canon is null and void, or at least irrelevant. For example, Batman Begins was a fresh start with no canonical relation to the comic book source material or the previous film franchise. A clip show, on the other hand, is a TV episode composed mainly of excerpts from previous episodes. Neither of these correspond to answered questions or revealed plots. It's possible that by "Clip Show," Chris meant that Sonichu #11 would contain more backstory, while by "reboot," he meant that the existing "plot" would be clumsily resolved in a couple of pages before establishing a new status quo (though considering Chris's pathological revulsion to change, this isn't likely). It is likely that a "clip show" issue would allow Chris to release an issue by reusing content from the previous ones.
Chris also said that he would refashion Sonichu into a less plagiarizing and more authentic franchise, and has attempted to do so via retcons and revised artwork; all appearances and mentions of Dr. Robotnik were replaced by "original" mad scientist Ren Skysoar and Sonic and Amy Rose in Sonichu 1 are revealed to be an illusion by Silvana Rosechu. The clear derivative nature of the series is nonetheless present.
Over the years Chris has dropped a few hints about specific plotlines. At one point he stated, "METAL SONICHU is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon." He later elaborated, "Count Graduon will be the Major Villain beyond [Sonichu #10], possessing the Metal Sonichu that crashed on the moon back in Book 1. The issue may also move to RuleCWC: Chris has said that "Darkbind and Zelina will be fighting Clawdorf with great sword and bow/arrow battles."
There may also be a lack of Great Director intrusion: "After Book 10, I will be making LESS personal appearances in the pages, as having done so was a big mistake, because I had got carried away with the trials and tribulations in my life, real and online, that it completely messed me up."
Chris discussed the comic with Arthur Spatchcock in early 2016.
Chris: Yeah. And uh, kind of a spoiler, there will be a part in a future story where he-- where pretty much in a dream scenario, he has to swim in a river of essentially pickle brine juice.
Arthur: Oh no.
Chris: And he blows up during the swim.
Arthur: Really? So he's like, he's like deathly allergic to pickles?
Arthur: He better hope he gets an endephrine shot after that.
Chris: Well he's quite, uh, he's quite strong, so he's able to survive it, and at the end of the river is uh, is a healing pond at which he recovers from the allergy fairly quick.
Arthur: Well I guess that will definitely take care of that problem.
Arthur: Now are you going to be introducing any more new characters into the series? Because right now you've already got quite a collection of people already ready to go. But seeing as how previous villains in the series have either been arrested, or, or gone, or dead, or missing, I should say, are you introducing new villains into the series based on the current, you know, issues in your life?
Chris: I would say that's still yet to be determined. But at least I was-- at least I am definitely glad to give Count Graduon a past human form with which to lead into his spirit, and um, very small spoiler, among the uh, people he'll be bringing in uh, the bodies, he finds somebody that looks nearly exactly like he used to, and he brings in-- he becomes one of the Jerkops, so he brings him in and moves his soul from the Metal Sonichu into that body.
Arthur: Now I gotta tell you right now, I definitely want to see more Metal Sonichu.
Chris: Yeah, you'll definitely see Graduon's soul in Metal Sonichu's body, and uh, Skysoar will be employed under Graduon, and he'll make a few more of them.
Arthur: See, what you need in the series, I think to really push the bad guys now, instead of just having Jerkops, you need like, robotic Jerkops, like 2.0.
Chris: Uh, yeah, pretty much, uh...
Arthur: After all, when you have a hero like Sonichu... Sonichu is already pretty powerful, and all of his friends are pretty strong too. You need to start adding that concept of conflict by making the enemies tougher too.
Chris: ...Yes, that will be taken under consideration. I already have a few-- I already have a few ideas on my mind, among which. But that is definitely one I could definitely add into, uh, the uh, into the Jerkop and Janekops, there.
Chris: Make 'em-- make 'em a bit cyborg.
Arthur: Yes, you know, it's like, uh, it's like Power Rangers, the original Power Rangers, with Zordon? When they had the Putties, and then they had the Lord Zedd Putties?
Chris: Yeah. ...Quite. But anyway, yes, I will take all that under great consideration.
| Sonichu #11 Trailer|
|Stardate||11 August 2011|
|Subject Matter||Sonichu #11|
|Video Type||Fan trailer|
|TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos|
- Jackie Chat 3
- September 2015 Facebook Posts#Sonichu 11 Continues
- February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism
- Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages
- May 2016 Facebook posts#Etsy listing removal
- February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism
- Mailbag 51
- CWC Blog#12 January 2010
- Wallflower E-mails
- Mailbag 52
- Mailbag 53