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Sandy Rosechu

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Sonichu character
SandyRosechu.jpg
Sandy Samantha Rosechu
Date of birth 9 August 2008 (in universe)
Gender Female
Height Unknown
Weight Unknown
Species Rosechu (Electric Hedgehog Pokémon)
Type Ground/Electric
Parents Wild Sonichu and Simonla Rosechu
Evolves from Rosey (Soft Sand)
 
 
Yay! This soft sand is fun! Thank you, daddy!
 

 

—Sandy, Sonichu 10

Sandy Samantha "Sammy" Rosechu is the bastard daughter of Simonla Rosechu and Wild Sonichu, with many of the same design elements as the former and none of the latter, making her yet another kludge of a certain Chu. Thanks to her father's lust for vengeance overpowering any sort of paternal instincts, she is able to harbor a desire for revenge and ninja-skills at a very young age thanks to her training, and is later shown to not only be ludicrously hostile towards males for seemingly no reason, but also eager to murder anybody that calls her by any form of her middle name. Despite being robbed of her childhood and trained in the art of killing, nobody in CWCville seems to object to her upbringing, and so the child soldier walks unattended, searching for her next target.

Sonichu 10

Artist's depiction.
 
 
"At least I will not have this issue to deal with in my teen years..."
 

 

—Sandy, sadly mistaken for the years of therapy she'll need

In February 2010 Chris finally caved to pressure from Evan, and agreed to kill off Simonla. He fleshed out the original death page to reveal that Wild and Simonla had managed to shit out an egg together. It should be noted that Wild and Simonla were, as far as we know, never married, so Sandy is a bastard child. Moments later, Simonla is fatally wounded in a toilet explosion, and Wild sits on the egg ruminating about how much he and Simonla were looking forward to being parents, in an attempt to make readers caring about the little blessing. Shortly after Simonla dies, the abomination hatches and asks where Mommy is. Being sensitive and tactful, Magi-Chan promptly tells her that "Evan killed Mommy" (it was actually Alec)[1]

Less than a week after her hatching, Wild tricks Sandy into playing with Soft Sand. According to Chris's CWCipedia ramblings on Rosechu evolution, a Sandy Rosechu will evolve when it has high happiness and soft sand. This provides a possible explanation for how she was fully grown within one week.[2] It is not unlikely that her very name is related to the role of sand in her evolution. The fact that this means Wild essentially stole his daughter's childhood and forced her to grow up in order to fulfill a revenge fantasy is both incredibly disturbing and completely in-line with the rest of the horrifying content present in Sonichu 10.

By the time Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean go to trial for killing Simonla, she has the intelligence of a fourth-grader. Naturally, all four are found guilty and are sentenced to be murdered in the most violent and bloody ways imaginable. Wild, responsible father that he is, encourages Sandy to brutally eviscerate Evan. Sandy does so, going as far as to mutilate Evan's genitals, right after displaying psychopathic tendencies by taking Evan's glasses as a trophy (a trait shared by Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Damher and Ed Gein, by the way). The duo round off this wholesome daddy/daughter bonding activity by delivering the killer blow together.[3] If this wasn't fucked up enough, consider that Evan is technically, by the standards of the CWCiverse, Sandy's grandfather.

Outside the comics

 
 
She kind of looks exactly like Simonla, but with like Lisa Simpson hair.
 

 

— Alec's response to Sandy, 9th Phonecall with Chris

Sandy is basically a giant "Fuck you" to Evan, since she's little more than a smaller version of Simonla with a few cosmetic changes and an epic THIRST! FOR! BLOOD! Chris even goes into detail that Sandy is basically filling every single role Simonla did, becoming a construction worker, hanging out with Zapina and basically every single thing Simonla has ever been seen doing[4] (which, fortunately, was very little/completely offscreen).

According to the CWCipedia, she is a good friend of Sonichu and Rosechu's children and attends Anneweston Elementary School with them.[5]

Future

LEGO Sandy.

It remains to be seen if Sandy will be a recurring or regular character, or if she will get sent to the Moon, but if she becomes a recurrent character, she'll probably follow in her mother's footsteps and devolve into yet another soulless husk who lives only to validate the heterosexuality of some random Sonichu.

On 24 May 2014, Chris revealed on Facebook that Sandy's mother has come back from the dead to rather negative reception. Whether or not young Sandy should interpret this as good news is up to the readers to decide.

References

  1. Sonichu 10, pp. 79-84
  2. CWCipedia on Rosechu's Evolution; Sonichu 10, p. 85.
  3. Sonichu 10, pp. 86-92.
  4. Sonichu 10, page 86
  5. CWCipedia on Wild Sonichu