Sonichu 6 Official Videobook
- In Episode 12.5, Chris one-ups the incomprehensible dialog from Sonichu #3 by invoking the spirit of Scooby-Doo!!
|“||Rand ri rump ras ro ritchy!||”|
- In Part 1 of Episode 14, the saga continues: Darkbind Sonichu and newly-empowered zombie pooch Patti save the day, Crystal's mirror is recovered, and the Sonichu Crew know exactly what they'll need to save her:
|“||MY TWO CRYSTALS!||”|
- ...yes, indeed.
- In Part 2 of Episode 14, Naitsirhc's dark heart is revealed!
|“||PUT A SHIRT ON!||”|
|“||Why'on't- can you hook me up, Christian?||”|
|Bionic the Hedgehog|
|Episode 12.5: One Lucky Dog|
|Stardate||17 September 2008|
|Other||Featuring the voices of CWC, Patti-Chan, Cartoon CWC, and Allison Amber|
|The OFFICIAL Sonichu Videobooks|
AND NOW for-our-nets. Once again, all Sonichu material is copyright March 2000- March 17, 2000 by me, Christian Weston Chandler. Any names or persons illustrated in any of the Sonichu comic books except that of myself that may seem similar to anybody in real life or fiction are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. And some of the, ah image- some of the characters in this book have been- have been origimade by Megan Sch-Schroeder.
Ok? A'right, s'anyway here is the cover. Yay! It's a lil- it's Patti. Patti-Chan. We miss- I miss you, Patti. You're good- you were such a good dog. [whimper] I love you... yeeah Good Girl. Ok.
'cause this story goes between episodes 12 and 13, "One Lucky Dog."
Allow me to introduce my sweet dog, Patti. She's born March 17, 1988, St. Patrick's Day. And she 'as part beagle and part spitz. We open on the night of June 26, 2006, where she was lookin' towards the moon from the safety of her pen.
- [Scooby-Doo voice] "Rroo! Ri raven't relt ris ry ras ri rused ru. Rand ri rump ras ro ritchy! Rand ra roon ris ro resrry! Rat rone rikly ror rok me ror rit ris rarkliness. Rmm. Ri rish I rud rak and rok rike ri raster. Hmm. Ro ri rud rell rin ris ranguage row ri reel, rank rim ror ris rears ruf rindness, and ret him know that I love him.
[crickets chirp] There's some crickets chirping! [chirping]
- "Relp! I rant a rik rack refore ri ritely slumber."
[munching sounds] [snoring]
This happens- and this- all this happens in Pat- in Patti's dog-pen by my dog- by my house. The next morning:
- "Okay~ hey Scamper, hi Lucy, hi Kitty. I gotta go get- I gotta go feed Patti now. Patti! Patti-girl! TWEETWEETWEETWEETWEET! Where are you girl? Oh, there you are Patti. C'mon girl, it's time for food. C'mon girl."
- "Hmm-mmm. Ok, ok, I'm coming. Hmm."
- "Aah. Patti. You can talk? Not only that, but you look so different, too."
- "Hmm. What're you? Ha? Wow, I can speak your language. Hooray for me. Ha! Let's see if I can stand up! Hmm! Myea, I'm standing ok. Feelin' a little dizzy, but I'm standing like you! My wish came true! Yaay! Oh master, I can not begin to tell you how elated I feel! Come to think of it, I feel so young, as if I was three years old! Twenty-one in dog years~"
- "Hmm. Well, while I'm still in shock over your transformation, I'm happy that you feel happy. C'mon lets get you- let's get some food in you, we'll give you a bath, and a makeover would be good, too.
- "Thank yooo~"
You know how dogs like to... chomp on the water when you spray them with the hose or the w- the... yeah the sprinkler.
I dunno why they do that; I think they're tryin to get some in them, too. Ahaha!
So then after cleaning and eating uh, we both sit on the bench! In front of the house.
- "Oh Chris, I am so grateful for your care over the years of my life. And I love you so much, yet I'm tired of being confined to my pen. And with my new form, I can now roam free! But I wouldn't want to put worse wear on my paws."
- "Hmm. Well, I understand how you feel."
[mumbles] Yeap... I put my glasses away...
- "A'yway yeah, I can help you. I know a great place where you can run free and have great friends to be with and not have to worry about skitting- scaring the natives, either. Ah-heh. C'mon girl!"
- "Where we goin'?"
- "To get there, we have to take the shortcut in ma bedroom."
- "Oh, ok."
- "Hmm. After you."
- "Thank you!"
- Chivalry ain't dead! Haha.
So we enter my bedroom into tha- in tha house. [creaking door] I open the door.
- "Hmm. Ok, watch your step."
- "Hmm. Wow, this is your room nowadays? Huh, it's a bit crowded. I can see one reason why you need a woman's touch in here."
- "Hmm. Yeah, amo- among other reasons. Aheh."
Ok, well I think my e-reader in this cup- special card and I say, "Open Sesame." [FFT] And my little shortcut-portal opens [WOOWOOWOOWOOWOO] "C'mon, Patti, this way to CWCville."
We're both on our way to CWCviiillle~
Aeeh, from my house to the- to CWCville, otherwise it'd be a longer walk. Hehe. We took the shortcut because it WOULD be a longer walk. And in the upper story of the CWCville mall from the front to the building, is the wardrobe where the portal ends. [sound effects]
- "And here we are. Welcome to the city of CWCville, Virginia."
- "Ahh! Where in CWCville are we?"
- "Hmm. Patti, you and I are in the heart and epicenter of CWCville, my mayoral office. It's locate above the shopping center's north entrance. Not only is it a home away from home, but every city document, every public decision, every single fundamen that goes on in this com'ity are all planned and stored here in these four walls."
- "Wooow. How d'you handle all these responsibilities while you're not here?"
- "That's good question, Patti. I have a secretary who takes in the incoming documents. After looking them over, she calls me on ma cell phone, gives me all the details, then she scans and transmits data of the document through a special PC program to tha CWCville sata- satelite which sends it to my Nintendo DS. Then I can read the document, including the fine print, and sign my approval on the touchscreen. The signature gets printed on the original document and it'sa done deal!"
But of course, it would be nice if uh, Nintendo actually did make a PDA program with personal notepad functions sa'make notes and memos with. Also so that I could actually ah, access the internet as such, world-wide, through wi-fi. Wait, they did the wi-fi part! Alright, still need a PDA! Ahah.
S'anyway- s'after I show her the office, uh we step out the uh, office r- building to the uh, doors to see- to meet my secretary. Hmm. Yeah maybe just continue on with the tour.
- "So, with that scepter and those bracelets I made for you, you'll be able to defend yourself from the villains with some the- some of my powers I have bestowed unto them."
- "Ah, thank you."
- "Well now, before I forget uh, Miss Amber!"
- "Yes, Mr. Chandler?"
- "Hmm. Patti-Chan, this is my secretary, Miss Allison Amber. Former movie star, she returned- she retired early to pursue her dream of being the aide of the- of a big cheese like me. Alison, this is my sweet, lucky dog, Patti. She has gone under a grand transformation, and she wishes for more free-roaming space, so I brought her here."
- "I'm delighted to meet you, Miss Amber."
- "And I'm happy to make your acquaintance as well, Patti. I've heard nice things about you from Chris."
And also, big note: when she was hired as secretary, she automatically got the position of Vice Mayor. So during my absence, she h-becomes the mayor. And up to dat- and up to this point, she's been doing a good job of being mayor for while I have been trapped in the other dimension. Billy Mays nor whats- nor whats-his-name, nor anybody else is the mayor. Do not believe it. At this point Al- at this point Allison Amber is the mayor. Accept no false rumors.
But continuing on with this current event: [gay ringtone]
- "'Scuse me, my phone's ringing." [DEET] "Eh, Hello! Oh, Sonichu. What's up? Mmm? Ok, I'll be right down." [whimper] [BEEP] "Oh, I gotta go. Sonichu and Rosechu need me. Patti, I'll come visit you time and again, but consider CWCville your new roaming grounds. And this office your new home. Uh, do you have those items, Miss Amber?"
- [wrong voice] "Oh yeah." [right voice] "Yeah, here ya go."
- "Ok, thank you. Patti, take this cell phone with unlimited minutes. Use it to call Allison or me when you are hurt. And shell this card to cashier of any supermarket or grocery store or restaurant. They'll give you the- they will give you the food you need and treat you with high respect. Take care, Patti-Chan. Alwayza- I'll always love you, my sweet puppy friend."
- "And I love you, Chris." [dog whimpers]
And that was a sweet episode dedicated to my real-life dog, Patti. She uh, was born on Ma- in March 17, 1998, die on June 27, 2006. She was one sweet, pretty, and lucky dog. My favorite photograph. Took of me and her together.
Ok, stay tuned for the next episode!
Transcript Part 1
|Episode 14: Evil is Afoot! Part 1|
|Stardate||17 September 2008|
|Other||Featuring the voices of Slaweel Ryam, Count Graduon, Cartoon CWC, Darkbind Sonichu, Patti-Chan, Rosechu, Sonichu, Megagi, Magi-Chan Sonichu, Wild Sonichu, Bubbles Rosechu, Angelica Rosechu and Punchy Sonichu|
|The OFFICIAL Sonichu Videobooks|
Episode 14 Part 2
Episode 14: Evil is Afoot!
Previously, the City of CWCville was under the terror of Slaweel Ryam. Christian, Crystal, and the Electric Hedgehogs battled with her squad of jerkops and the giant CADD Chef. The brave Soldier Sailor Megtune and Megagi showed up in the neck- in the nick of time. Just as Chris-Chan was about to finish the witch, she turned the tables and now she has Crystal in her clutches. Stay tuned to see who will triumph in Part 2.
- "EEeh. If yo want yew sistew back, you and your girl will bow down before me, and surrender your ites and souls to my clutches! Eeeheeheeheehee! Ehm."
"Easy on my handle, witch," says Count Graduon.
- Ecch. Darn. She's so high up; one wrong move, and Crystal may be come worse than heart-shattered. She become shattered! What should we do?"
- "HEHEHEHEHE!" [boomerang sound] "PWAAH!" [boomerang sound]
- "Behold, the power of the inspired knight after I have thrown my boomerang!"
- "And behold the power of the well-trusted dog, as I levitate the mirror my magic wand!"
And Rosechu says, "Yay, Patti-Chan Darkbind came to help!" [thinking] Hmm, I met Patti at the mall earlier, and who doesn't remember DB?
And now we levitate the uh, mirror down closer to ground safely. And Slaweel's in a daze.
- "EEeeeh. Uh."
And then Sailor Megtune comes in and says, "No one messes with my good friend's heart, unless they like super-heavy metal! MEGTUNE ROCKIN' HURRICANE!" [guitar wails]
- "I'll be back with more terror! Magic Rocket's blasting off againnnn~" [DING]
Ok, a little while la- jus' a couple hours later in the mayors office, there this- there's a board around with ev'rybody in a meeting.
Patti's thinkin', Crystal will be protected well in my sphere, but oh, poor Chris!
Hmm. And then Sonichu tells Rosechu, "I had this dream that I was seeing my father- seeing my father in a mirror with long hair."
- [thinking] Oh, my sweetbolt is so stressed! I can tell from his shaking knee!
Hmm. And Megagi's says- and Megagi's thinking, Hmm, I just hope she doesn't go after my friends on Paradyse Isle.
Hmm. And then Magi-Chan's thinkin- oh- no he's not, that- that's Darkbind. Darkbind says, "I sense two more crystal near by, but I need to wait until before er- I search them- for them. Zelina..."
And then Wild's thinkin', I wish they'd hurry up!
And then, Bubbles and Angelica are gossiping. Hmm.
- "What terror do you think may happen?"
- "I don't know, but Slaweel's truly a wicked witch, eh?"
Hmm. Hmm. And then Punchy's thinkin', Oh, shoot! I'm missin' my Samurai Pizza Cats!
And shortly after we have made- after making sure that Crystal is uh, safe and secure in uh, filing cabinet area on one side of the uh, office [clears throat] ah, Magi-Chan says, "I'm afraid it doesn't look good for Crystal. That love hatin' witch did a real number."
Then Sonichu says, "No! This is the worst! She made it about as hard as Chris's dream coming true! Rrrrr."
- "Sweetbolt! I'm just so worried- as worried as you! And looks very bad! I'm sure there's a way to free Crystal! S'eres no need for a bombastic tone!"
Mmm. So then, Bubbles and Angelica continue gossiping. Hmm.
- "Speaking of bombs, wasn't Bionic just totally the bomb at the last basketball game? I think he won it for the Lancers all the way!"
- "Oh, I know! And he has yet to beat his own record of 125 baskets in one game! Then again, the ball has to be shared between him and the rest of the team! He's so generous!" [thinking] Uhh, what a dreamboat!
Wild's- then Wild's saying, "Psh! Bionic the Hedgehog. If I wasn't kicked off the team for misuse of Vine-al Defense with my Vine Whips, I could have easily broken his record! And I could have had the ladies for my- of my own tchurse from!"
"Huh!" Punchy's sayin'. "Ladies. At one time, I thought strength impressed them. Greatly. But they would rather date a man with a sports ball, than miron arm- gridarm glory. Rrrr."
And Megagi says, "Sheesh! Boys can be s- can be s- can get so darn jealous when they can't even find themselves pretty girl to be with or otherwise they'res feelin' so lonesome. In rare cases, it get so bad that one jealous man can detest 99.9999999999996% of the worldwide male population, excluding himself and those within the margin of error remaining percentage." Hmm.
Then Patti says, "Megagi! Not all men are like that! Well for a time Chris was one of those rare cases since he met Megchan, his eyes were reopened and his heart made a miraculous recovery! Yet during his 25 years here on this Earth he's been kind and sweet as hha- sweet at heart, he's the coolest."
Then Patti- then Punchy's sayin', "Ach, Patti! You're just mak- you're just bein- sayin such flowers tha- flowery comments because you're his dog."
- "No way! I truly lo- I love him truly!"
- "Yeah, well..."
"ENOUGH!" I say.
"Yes, it is," says Magi-Chan. "More importantly, we've tried every spell, trap, pokepower, and trainer abilities we had, as well as every attack we could d-muster. But it was no use; however we did come to a conclusion that only one thing that weaken the glass a bit was the power of the Chaotic Crystal Ball. A Sonichu Chaotic Crystal. Out of the seven we had on h- we had one out of the seven on hand. We need the power of all seven to pull together out the do- puller Crystal out the dark world. Similarly, if we cannot acquire Seven Chaotic Crystals, the power of Seven Chaos Emeralds could- shd- should be able to open the portal as well.'
- [gasp] [thinking] My two... my two crystals!
[FSHW] They're reacting to the one in his hand, Magi-Chan realizes.
- Hmm. Looks like Darkbind has secured two Sss-Sonichu crystals ahead of this- belov- ahead of us for his beloved Princess Zelina Rosechu.
And then Bi- and then Darkbind says, [wall of thoughts] Oh, why do these crystals have to attract each other! I cannot be deprived of my crystals, yet I need all seven to waken my beloved Zelina Rosechu. It seemed like just yesterday we were a blushing couple strolling through RuleCWC. Ever so happy. But on the night of her ba- on the gala ball, the evil ssss- the- the uh, evil wizard Clawdorf cursed eternal sleep upon our princess as he unleashed the power of the Chaotic Crystals from the ancient tablet. [FFFFFFF] But it- but it backfired on him by turning Clawdorf into stone. Zelina! [sob] Collapsed into slumber as I was about to propose to her! I felt devastated! Nooooooooo~ After that I swore I heard Clawdorf's denon- demonic cackle echo through RuleCWC and then sword that I would recover the crystals and lift the curse from my beloved Princess Zelina Rosechu.
Then, all of a sudden, BOOM, somethin' happens! [gasp!]
Everybody's- everybody notices- everybody takes notice in surprise!
- "Something's happening downstairs! Sonichu, Magi-Chan! Come with me! Everyone else stay here until further notice!"
Transcript Part 2
|Episode 14: Evil is Afoot! Part 2|
|Stardate||17 September 2008|
|Other||Featuring the voices of Naitsirhc, Cartoon CWC, Magi-Chan Sonichu, Sonichu, and Black Sonichu|
|The OFFICIAL Sonichu Videobooks|
Episode 14 Part 1
Episode 14 Part 3
Indeed, something was happening downstairs in thi- in the mall. A jewellery st-one-a-ma a jewelry stores was being robbed. Heh. But it turns out it wasn't just a jewelry he stole but this new hedgehog here stole a chaotic crystal that was apparently in the ma- that was apparently in the store.
- [thinking] Behold! This Chaotic- this Sonichu Chaotic Crystal is the first of many keys towards my global reign!
But right behind him, Magi-Chan, Sonichu and I teleport in. [VWW]
- "Hold it, fiend! You will not get away such- so quickly without s-after such a loud disturbance.
- [thinking] Ah, yes. The goody-goody, sad-sack virgin is in da house.
- "Dark Hedgehog Power: DARK DOME STADIUM!" [VWWM]
- "Sonichu, Magi-Chan! Charge!" [fanfare]
But Black Sonichu is with him, and because he's his master, he say, "Stay back, Sonichu! Leave my master alone!"
[PSH!] Wit' a- he's- he pulls- he pushes him back with a Mach Punch. And then the new hedgehog pushes Magi-Chan back with a Shadow Ball. [sound effects]
- "Sonichu! Magi-Chan! No! Jeeze..."
And while the two hedgehogs are out of- while the three hedgehogs are out of the range of this attack from the new guy I go- I have- it's looming over me and I can't really get out. I'm trapped. I say, "Oh, Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious."
And then we're both been trapped in the dome. [whimper]
- "YOU! Where- where in the world a war- where in the wide world of extreme sports are we? And who are you?"
- "Hehehehe. We are in a dark dimension of my creation. Everyone else remains in CWCville, so it's just the two of us here. As for who I am, if you recall the Anchuent Prophecies from where you got your powers, if the medal is plunged into darkness even for just a few moments, or even just for a moment, upon the one who looks similar to you and has your first name spelled reverse, the Dark Sonichu Medallion would be created and the victim would have the sleeping evil within him awakened and merged, but would not just be a s- just be a evil, but would be the complete opposite of you."
Hmm. And then I'm sayin, "I vaguely remember such a detail; I may have missed a fine print. But that doesn't answer my- it doesn't place a name yet. Who are you?"
- "Very well then. I was the adopted child known simply as Naitsirhc Giovanni. In this warp I am Reldnahc Ha-Taque Sonichu, but in my true form I am very similar to you, Christian Weston Chandler. But I possess very opposite traits and characteristics. Compared to yours, I am darkness. I am evil. I am... OPEN. I am..."
[PFF] He punches his chest mark and transforms.
- "I AM RELDNAHC NOTSEW NAITSIRHC HEHEHEHEHEHERR!"
And one look at his human I'm like, "God! Jeeze! Uhn! Oh my- D'oh my God! Unh! Fantasies blow vastlies toward the opposite gender. I am so offended! PUT A SHIRT ON! Men should not be allowed to wear- to not wear shirts when in public. It just so gross and... EYEHH! Tick me off! Eyech! Uhn."
Ahem. Anyway, outside the dome, Sonichu Magi-Chan are trying to break into the dome, and Black Soni- and Blake standing by. Hmm. But it's like nobody can- ey-like Sonichu can break in physically, he ask Magi-Chan, "Ye need- anything happened- anything happen with your attacks?"
- "No. I'm able d- I'm unable to send my mental wavelengths into the dark dome. The only way to learn Christian's status is to wait."
And then- s- and then Sonichu goes around the dome and talk to- and encounters Black Son- Black Sonichu.
- "Black Sonichu! What is that- what is this score?"
- "Uhh, two to one?"
- "Spill it! We don't need sports scores!"
- "Well... [sigh] my master, Naitsirhc, has gone under a real dark transformation he wanted to take over the world and kill Christian so he wants the seven crys- Chaotic Crystals of legend and he anticipate the confrontation upon the snatching of the- his first Sonichu Crystal. Yep, it was all his idea. I am concerned though. He shoved his father out of the path without remorse. He's been insulting me at every moment and to top it all off, he put whipped cream in my rockets! You know what a mess it is to get 'at out of there? Jeeze..."
Hmm. And between Sonichu and Magi-Chan, they both telepat'ically communicate.
- "Hmm. I'm surprised Naitsirhc could be that cruel. It has to be some dark curse or something!"
- "Hmm. Yes, I sense hostilities- I sense honesty in his mind as he explained it, de Black Sonichu did. Mm. I can certainly tell you Chris would rather listen to his father's bickering right now. HIS father."
Hmm, then Black Sonichu says, "Hmm, by the way, how is Bubbles? That luscious uh, sed- water/'lectricity, hmm..." [lip smacking sounds]
Meanwhile, back in the dark dome.
- "Cowardly liar! You dare put me down with my- with your insults? What err- I lack in confidence I make up for in heart-strength and caring, loving boost from my sweet friend."
- "You weakling! Your feeble autism and bit heart hinder you vastly! Beyond Believe! I have no such weakness, therefore I am the strongest!"
- "I will fight in defense with true might! I will never be tempted toward your gross standards! Unhhh.[inhales] LET'S rock."
- "You want'a bet? C'mon, I'll whomp you in next Tuesday."
- "ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER!"
- "DARK SHOCKER POWER!"
And then we both transform. [sound effects]
Warrior of true love and honesty, CHRIS-CHAN SONICHU versus RELDNAHC HA-TAQUE.
After our transformations, the dome disappears from us. And then the three Sonichus notice us.
Ehh, Sonichu goes, "Chris-Chan! Chris!"
An'den Magi-Chan says, pondering [thinking] "Hmm."
And then we're both being standoffish. [standoff music]
- "No, we mustn't intrude in the master's battle. Either of you should interfue, the intensity should- would be too much for any of us."
[PSH!] D'ah! We both dash out of the CWCville front- de CWCville Mall. Unfortunately, it's broken glass. [RR-VWP!]
"Yep," Sonichu says as he looks out.
Transcript Part 3
|Episode 14: Evil is Afoot! Part 3|
|Stardate||17 September 2008|
|Other||Featuring the voices of Cartoon CWC, Naitsirch, Megchan, and Bionic the Hedgehog|
|The OFFICIAL Sonichu Videobooks|
Episode 14 Part 2
And then we're dashing around, fighting each other! [sound effects]
I hit 'im a little bit with a Thunderbolt! [PSHW!] He tries to hit me with a- hit me with a Shadow Wave, but he misses! I kick him in da- I kick him! With a Mega Kick. And then he tries to Mach Punch me, but I dodge it by goin' into a Spin- a Spin Dash. And then I hit him with the Spin Dash! And then I give him a Hyperbeam! And he gives me a Hyperbeam, similarly! [PSHHW] Our Hyperbeams intercept into a ma- peragious BOOM!
And then we both end up in Manchester High School. [PFW] In the gym. And he knocks me in there through the- through the back entrance and my head hits the wall and it hurts. And I'm locked unconscious for the moment. Meanwhile, Reldnahc approaches me.
- "With the power of the Crystal Sonichu Ball in my hi-hi- have in my hand, I will deliver the final blow. Eheh. How befitting it is that I get to destroy you in the school where you felt most happy! With your gal pals and all that. Mostly wit'yer gal pals. [sigh] Too bad you won't be able to meet your filwel- too bad you won't be able to meet them, your fellow Gal Pal Lancers, at the reunion! Ahahaha. Farewell, Christian Christopher Weston Chandler."
[WOOO] And all of a sudden a basketball whooshes in! [FFFFF-PSH!] "Ow." And it was hit him so hard, knocked him- 'n knocked him onto the floor and it made his head crash into the uh, bleachers. [PSH] "Oh." And he's knocked unconscious.
And then momentarily I awaken. "Ohh..."
"Hm. Hey Chris, are you ok? Please say something," says Megchan, and she's over there.
- "Hm. Hey. Hm. What happened."
- "For a while you were knock- you were unconscious, Megagi. Told me. Megagi led me here, den went back to Paradyse I- Island. Your hedgehogs restored the damage from earlier."
- "Hmm. Ok. Wea- what of Reldnahc?"
- "Oh, that other guy? Yeah, don't get me started. He was just too weird. Ugh. Anyway, he hit his head on the bleachers, and he was still breeding, so he was sent to CWCville General Hospital."
- "Oh, that jerk was about to finish me! How'd his head meet the bleachers?"
- "Oh, I can answer that, old buddy."
Now I meet the basketball star, Bionic the Hedgehog!
- "Bionic! I haven't drawn you since 2004! When I made your Yu-Gi-Oh card!"
[incoming text wall(s)]
- "Hmm. I was shootin' some h-hoops when I heard a crash. And s-stunned and surprised, I watched as the green guy made his speech. When I heard what he was gonna do, I threw my basketball with gusto, direct hit, and beyond. Not bad for a Lancer. Hmm. Indeed, it was a while since you drew me, and that was back in 1999, in that war against autism drawing. Still, it has been about ten years since I jumped out of that locker and met you."
- "Oh yes, that was back in my Freshman year. By the way, have you two met? Bionic, this is Megchan. Ma gal pal. Meg, is zis Sonic's long-lost-but-found basketball-playing brother, Bionic the Hedgehog."
- "Hello, it's nice to meet you!"
- "Hmm. I'm delighted to make your acquintance, Meg! Meg. By the way, Christian, Sonichu came by and explained all this to me. The other guy had it so he dropped it so I gi- but he dropped it so I'm giving it to you."
- "Oh, cool! Thanks."
- "Mmm. S-peakin'a- Speakin' of that yellow rat, I've understood that uh, soon after you met him, you found a girlfriend for hi- him. I coulda had my pick among- from among my fellow Lancers- Lancereses. Hmm. But our genes just did not hook up well. Why'on't- can you hook me up, Christian?"
- "Oh, gee, I'm sorry Bionic, but back then I was na- I was naive on dating and all that, so I just didn't think of it at the time. But if you a sweetheart, Meg has created quite a few foxy characters. If she's cool with it, you could go out with one of them."
- "Mmm, that's good. Thank you."
- [thinking] Ah, shoot, 25 years old and I still haven't had my first date. Oh well. "OH WELL AT LEAST I STILL HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW OF IT! Hmm."
- "Oh yeah, Christian, that DVD you tellin' me about!"
- "I dunno about it, please tell me!"
- "Well, the master copy stays at home; a few copies will be generously shared with a few relatives, friends, and good old Providence Middle and Manchester High Schools. It is titled Christian Weston Chandler: Yep, I'm on TV! It'll feature my two new seg- my two new segments, a Mario Kart Lego Movie filmed on Game Boy Camera, my Nintendo Power-worthy Animal Crossing Documentary, a slideshow of photographs, arts, and comics projected from my PSP, a message for the future from me, and more. Also there's an homage to my friends, teachers, family and MHS's 1997 varsity baskeball team within the slideshow. All of whom were remembered from my heart, as well as my yearbooks. This DVD will not be sold anywhere! Until further notice! From myself. That is a no-brainer!
Still, conked his head against the bleachers; ooh, that had to hurt. Wonder if Reldnahc will ever recover. Awa- if he does...
Ten Weeks Later, at the CWCville Hospital, "Mmm. Mmm. [PFF!] Aah! FUNKY MONKEY! Heh? Where am I? Mmm, the last thing I remember was [gasp] yeah, I was about to kill that straight, goody twin of mine! When I was hit with a- on the head with a basketball? Who in the world threw that?"
Hmm. And then he's watchin' TV on.
- "In the- in sports news, Bionic the Hedgehog had won the game against Monroe High with sus- record-breaking 130 baskets without overtime! And that's the Lancers- and the Lancers now head to the finals against ehh..."
- "Eh! You! I will- it was YOU! Before passing out, I saw an orange guy with blue shoes, it was him! Bionic the Hedgehog! Errrrrr!
The End of this Episode! Stay tuned for the next one! Thank you!