|“||Have you seen my pussy? She has run off attached to the teats of my lovely wife.||”|
Book10Replacement is a video Chris uploaded on 30 October 2010. In this video, with the presentation style of the Official Videobooks, Chris shows off the "corrected" version of Sonichu #10, something he claimed to have started on months prior.
Instead of being executed, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live among the Amish for the rest of their lives, without access to the Internet and thus without the ability to troll. Mao gets a "mandatory chosen wife", even though real Amish do not practice arranged marriage and courtship is usually a private matter. Jason Kendrick Howell dies after crashing into a mountain, and Kathleen is imprisoned for marijuana possession.
The pages were done to appease Jackie, who actually wanted something else entirely: knowing that Chris had promised Alec that the ending will eventually be replaced with something nicer than a hideous bloodbath, she wanted the comic to have a kinder ending, with a parade where Chris forgives Alec and Asperchu and acknowledges that they've tried to help him - just to demonstrate that Chris has actually gotten over this issue. Of course, his failure to do this, and the repeated lies that followed, turned out to be extremely telling.
These new pages are horrendously unfinished even by Chris's standards. None of them are colored and the majority of the action is textwalling. The dialog is appallingly dull even by Sonichu standards. One wonders why he even bothered. Eventually, these pages were completed and were finally published to Facebook on 13 September 2015.
|Stardate||30 October 2010|
|OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos|
|“||He has been doing good being the village idiot his whole life.||”|
Chris: Wait- it is done! I can now reveal to you the true pages of which- replace the ones that were gory... and outrageous. Starting with page 90 where we end the trial.
Sean: In our defense, we have a rock!
Judge: I think we've heard enough. Jury?
Jury: We, the jury, find the defendants guilty times four!
Judge: I agree! I hereby sentence the four of them to residence in an Amish community! No technology access whatsoever, for the rest of their lives! Court is adjourned!
Narrator: Meanwhile, in the D.C. Maximum Security Prison...
Slaweel Yram: Eeheheheheehee! My spell is completed! I will wreak havoc on that city once again! I am Slaweel!
[Next page: Slaweel has been knocked into the wall by an explosion of some sort.]
Slaweel: Urgh! ...Urgh! Dang it!
Guard: Hahahaha! Another failed spell, 06960.
Slaweel: Shut up!
Guard: Anyway, you have a new cellmate.
[Slaweel's new cellmate is revealed to be Kathleen, Jason Kendrick Howell's woman love slave.]
Slaweel: Huh. So, what did they get you for, lady?
Kathleen: Hmm. Well, I think [?] as well, Slaweel. Anyway after the 4-cent_Garbage building collapse, Jason and I made our escape. After we got away we had a fight, and he dumped me. He had caught me cheating on him with the secretary! I was distraught. I got and used- I went and got and used some... I got and used some marijuana... a lot of it. The police had caught me using it, I was tried, and now here I am. I heard Jason crashed into a mountain and died. That son of a *BEEP* got what he deserved. Trolling and torturing innocent people is devil's work anyway! ...Hmm.
Slaweel: Did you smuggle any MJ in?
Kathleen: No, they frisked me and got all I had was from my breasts and up my asshole. [?]
[Next page: we see an extremely crude depiction of a horse-drawn carriage.]
Narrator: One month later, in the Amish community...
[Chris makes clopping noises.]
[Next page: Mao and Alec Benson Leary are dressed in Amish clothing]
Alec: Good day, neighbor Mao!
Mao: Good day, neighbor Alec!
Alec: How are you today?
Mao: I had pleasant night's sleep, and my mandatory chosen wife, she had... my mandatorily chosen wife. She had fixed a good bacon and eggs with biscuits for breakfast! That is good.
Alec: Yes it is.
[Chris hums a tune as we see Sean step on a rake lying on the ground and get whacked in the face. This joke is almost certainly "borrowed" from The Simpsons episode "Cape Feare."]
[Next page: The Amish trolls continue to talk.]
Alec: Well! Neighbor Sean has hit himself with the rake again.
Alec: He has been doing good being the village idiot his whole life.
Mao: I agree!
Alec: I am looking forward merrily to today's barn raising. Mrs. Baisley is making her famous... beans and bread.
Mao: Oh! Ms. Baisley is making her beans and bread again? I enjoy her beans and bread greatly. I enjoy her good food with her delicious milk freshly squeezed from her teat.
Alec: Yes, her bovine breasts give the best milk around, neighbor Mao.
Evan Christopher George: Neighbor Mao? Neighbor Alec... you are mistaken! I am neighbor Evan.
Alec: Oh dear! I am in error. Where is neighbor Mao?
Evan: He has gone to the store for vittles.
[Next page: Mao is in the general store.]
Mao: Good day, shopkeep. I would like two pounds of black-eyed beans, ten carrots, fifty pounds of grain. Have you seen- And have you seen my pussy? She has run off attached to the teats of my lovely wife.
[Next page: Same as the ending of the original Sonichu #10.]
Chris: And then the end of- the end of the story. And those are the replacement pages for book number ten. Thank you very much and have a good day.
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