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|Cover Date:||21 May 2017|
|Finished:||16 October 2017|
|Episodes:||24.2, 25, 26|
Sonichu #12 is the 13th issue of the Sonichu comic series. After Chris restarted work on Sonichu #11, which he completed in June 2017, Sonichu fans were reassured that they would get to see the completion of this issue. It was finished on 16 October.
It was not clear what this issue would contain, as Sonichu #11 was itself in creative limbo for years. Chris has said that the second or third part will complete the Christmas special begun in Sonichu #11, though given the date of that statement, and the apparent drift away from the Christmas special by the end of #11, Chris's plans may have changed significantly.
Episode 25: "To Be or Naught a Tomgirl…"
On 21 May 2017 Chris finally uploaded a scan of the front page, and more uncolored pages. The first episode promises to deal with Robbie Sonee's thoughts about his gender identity, perhaps as an expression of Chris's own, though this comes across as oddly redundant given that Chris's transition to "Christine" was already expounded upon in Sonichu #11.
The title of the episode is confusing nonsense, with Chris presumably lifting the "to be or not to be" soliloquy in Hamlet (though likely through general cultural awareness rather than actually reading it and then throwing in an apparent misspelling of "not" as "naught" (actually an archaic synonym for "nothing/zero", which makes no readily apparent sense).
Early 2009. Robbie Sonee wonders why he dislikes violent media, unlike other males categorically do. He seeks advice from his sisters Cera Rosechu and Christine Rosechu, his parents, Chris himself, and the internet. Still seeking answers, he consults Magi-Chan about his future, but Magi-Chan wisely abstains from telling him about it so as to avoid depriving him of the joy of living et cetera. However, Magi-Chan does see fit to tell Robbie that he possesses a "female soul." Accordingly, Robbie comes to the conclusion that he is a lesbian transwoman. He formalizes his newfound identity by coming out to his sisters, declaring his intention to transition completely as soon as he evolves and adopt the name Roberta Sonichu. Christine and Cera unconditionally accept Robbie as their little sister, pulling her up into a hug and telling her that they love her and they're proud of her -- prompting her to evolve in their arms. Chris concludes this attempt at a touching scene by having Roberta ejaculate on her sister's carpet.
Donning a new outfit slapped together by Christine, Roberta then heads to the top of Magi-chan's police state surveillance tower. To help her transition along, Magi-chan offers her a Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis binaural beat CD (the same kind that served Chris so well) and reckons that the entire process should take about two months. Roberta offhandedly mentions that she also begins conventional hormone therapy, though this is rendered somewhat redundant as she magically sprouts double-D breasts and a penis that shrinks and splits into a new vagina. At the end of June, Magi-chan "examines" her telepathically, treating the reader to an absolutely nightmarish 3-D shot of her organs. He proclaims her transformation complete while also reminding her to continue taking her meds until the doctors instruct her to stop; Chris seemingly unaware that hormone therapy is generally a lifetime undertaking.
After earning a "life trophy" for her transition, Roberta lists off her dating experiences, from the unfortunately named Vulva Pie (a creation of Jackie's who was dragged into hiding along with her creator) on to Mimi (a random character and star of the Flufflehugs commissions.) The narration jumps ahead to Roberta performing a Sonic Rainboom, a phenomenon Chris stole from My Little Pony, by running on the sky clad in a garish Rainbow Dash costume from the previous Halloween, all while her sisters film it. She succeeds, creating a rainbow that implausibly stretches across the entire United States.
The episode ends with Roberta addressing the reader with a wandering spiel about tomgirls and female souls, and proclaiming that she is loved and loves herself.
Episode 26: Prideful
September 12, 2009. The episode starts in medias res with Chris in his new female Sonichu form locked in an intense battle against Reldnahc while delivering a long-winded, nonsensical internal monologue on the nature of love and hatred. The narration skips back to earlier in the day, where the main cast (and any number of shoddily drawn Cwcville citizens) attend the first Annual SLGBTQ Pride festival at Cwcville Park. Attractions include burgers and pop, "pride bracelets, knick knacks and lots of rainbows," and largely untouched "Banasaur figures". Jamsta and Lolisa broadcast live from their booth and loudly flaunt their heterosexual sex life, while Angelica meets with "Danny Steckle" and thanks him for his large donation.
Meanwhile, Chris along with Crystal and the hedgehogs gather on a blanket in the grass. Chris regales everyone with a loquacious account of his psychic training with Magi-chan and Silvana which is met with adoring praise. They are interrupted by the return of Sonichu and Rosechu's brood, Zapina, and Sandy, who come bearing some tat they bought at the stalls, which is handed out while Cera bores everyone with an account of their acquisition, peppered with ham-handed references to lesbianism. They also receive a surprise visit from Chris's self-spawned children, Cynthia and Russel. The twins hug their "mama" with wagging tails and tell him they miss him, and he negligently brushes them off with an "awww!" It's at that this point that Heather Iglesias, their caretaker, appears in the comic for the first time (despite her token lesbianism having become dilute now, to say the least). After greeting the group with a string of broken English and incorrect Spanish, she removes the children.
Several more characters appear; first Patti, then Darkbind with Zelina. Finally, Reldnahc appears, just as shocked as everyone else that Chris is a transsexual now. He accosts Chris, announcing that apparently the gay vaccine failed to work on him for some reason. He explains that shortly after Naitsirhc was teleported to Kel's cabin in Sonichu #10, he began to long for the power the black Sonichu medalion gave him while also developing an attraction to other men. One morning, he woke up, discovered that he'd fully turned back into Reldnahc and decided to abandon Kel.
Returning to CWCville, Reldnahc claims that he was living in an old, abandoned house because he didn't want to use a Soup Hotel, then immediately contradicts himself by admitting that he was in fact going to Soup Hotels for his meals (and once again, referencing "Danny Steckle"'s donation). Having somehow forgotten the address and phone number of the town's mayor, he had no option but to go to the pride festival to see if Chris would be there on a "mayoral chore". Having found Chris at last, Reldnahc unleashes a textwall of perfectly valid complaints about Chris and everything he does. Chris replies with a textwall of his own, offering minced words and non-apologies for some points and completely ignoring others.
Somehow, this lengthy unremorseful word salad convinces Reldnahc to become "neutral" on Chris. He then leaves the group alone and walks off, but as soon as he is out of sight he falls into the sidewalk and is sucked into Graduon's pocket dimension or something. Graduon, now possessing Metal Sonichu, offers to give Reldnahc back his hedgehog powers in exchange for serving him. Eager to have his power back, Reldnahc accepts.
Back at the festival, Magi-chan alerts the rest of the cast that (apropos of nothing) a "big battle" is about to happen. Chris reveals that he has modified his medallion via unspecified means to only change him back if he touches it, and mentions a "subspace cube" that he uses to trap Jerkops in a pocket dimension to prevent Graduon from using them again. The festival is evacuated while the cast remains to fight the Jerkop army. As Chris is giving them a pep talk (including a Nazi salute), he suddenly has a psychic vision of Cole Smithey somehow sneaking up behind Chris-Chan Sonichu and knocking him out cold. How Cole was able to accomplish this while all of the Sonichus and Rosechus were looking at Chris (and therefore, the area behind Chris) is a riddle for the ages.
Chris and Crystal transform into Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu as Reldnahc arrives on the scene, declaring that he's finally found himself and that he'll be a villain. Cole appears and attempts to ambush Chris, but only manages to hit an illusionary double. The real Chris appears behind Cole and knocks him out, and THEN realizes that he just cold cocked his half-brother. Chris cries crocodile tears over having to physically assault his half-brother, even though he stated 30 seconds prior that all he needed to do was tap someone with the subspace cube to free them from Graduon's influence. Just as Chris sends Cole to the pocket dimension, a transformed Reldnahc bodychecks Chris into a pocket dimension of his own.
Reldnahc straddles Chris, declaring that he's going to "take my advantage" and Chris immediately assumes (despite supposedly being female now) that he's about to become a rape statistic. Instead, Reldnahc tries to punch Chris's weak point only for Chris to reveal that he removed his weakness, something the reader was already told about fourteen pages ago. Chris uses his psychic powers to throw Reldnahc off of him, at which point Chris's narration interrupts to tell the reader to just go back and read the fight scene at the start of the episode. While Chris fights Reldnahc pseudo-offscreen, the rest of the cast fights his army and wins easily because they're Mary Sue trash.
Chris pops out of Reldnahc's pocket dimension with the defeated Reldnahc in tow, and Chris then proceeds to explain that some of the Jerkops in the army were actually zombies (something he insists will be elaborated upon in Sonichu #14). As he is also talking about how he thinks Reldnahc can be "friended", Reldnahc vanishes into the ether. Cera has her picture taken with a Janekop she knocked out during the fighting, something Chris insists was Cera's idea, not his. Silvana returns the subspace cube to Chris, and Magi-chan explains that they were able to release around 1500 mind control victims from Graduon's control.
Chris ends the episode with both a tribute to Bob Chandler and his own coming out story, claiming to be the reincarnation of a lesbian hippie who went to Woodstock. The final page splash panel of Jamsta Sonichu and Lolisa Rosechu performing a musical number.
Episode 24, Part 2: The Clip Show: Catching Up
Back in August of 2009, Sonichu begins to tell Silvana-Disguised-As-Sonic about what happened the day he married Rosechu.
In the flashback, Rosechu is chatting anxiously with Bubbles and Angelica, concerned that something will go wrong, ignoring the fact that every female present seems to be wearing a a white dress similar to her own, a huge faux pas. Bubbles and Angelica reassure her that nothing can possibly go wrong, whilst Simonla and Zapina go through the checklist of preparations. Why a child is assuming responsibility for wedding preparations is anybody's guess, but in a possibly related turn of events, the caterers have yet to show up and set up, causing no small amount of panic among the team.
Sonichu ponders with the guys over his future, and similar to the Rosechus, they do nothing but spout inane feel-good gibberish, with the exception of Magi-Chan who shows off that he can predict the exact moment Bubbles will appear. When she does, she informs Sonichu that Rosechu has stepped out for some fresh air and not to bother her.
Bubbles steps into the hallway to be inexplicably accosted by Spinarak (a common spider pokemon) after which she panics and floods the hallway with a Surf attack. She laments that she needs to dry her dress whilst in the other room Magi-Chan giggles over the impending misunderstanding whilst Sonichu searches for his phone in order to contact the missing caterers.
Sonichu walks into the room Bubbles is using to dry her dress, and for some reason Bubbles tries to hide herself (when she normally wanders around naked) and hands Sonichu his missing phone. At that same split second, the caters arrive and Rosechu wanders in on Sonichu and the naked Bubbles and her jaw drops in horror. Bubbles and Sonichu try to explain the situation, which Rosechu is quickly able to deduct as true and bursts into laughter, finding the situation funny. They decide the wedding will continue as planned.
We are soon treated to scenes and characters taken from Chris's classic Wedding Comic including Canino Houndhowl - on old OC of Megan's, a pair of cake-baking raptors of unknown genesis and finally Spas the cat who plays the organ. All the while, Blake is hiding in the rafters, creeping on Bubbles.
Chris stands as Father of the Bride and walks her down the altar, while Zapina replaces not only Ching Chong as the flower girl, but Crass & Champ as the Ring Bearer. Rev Elizabeth Foss proceeds to wed the two lovehogs by the power vested in her by God, Jesus and Cwcville.
NOTE: The Wedding scene was partially inspired by a fan comic, as depicted in the Comic Pages section.
Cutting back to the conversation with Silvana-Disguised-As-Sonic, Sonichu explains that he and Rosechu had their honeymoon at a local hotel, making it clear that Sonichu is just as cheap as his creator. He goes on to state that his marriage is an inspiration for thousands to millions of people and that he enjoys positive fanart. But sometimes he gets some gross and "heavy" fanart that reminded him of one specific time Rosechu was hospitalised. He explains that in March 2008, the family were out shopping and Rosechu was by herself at JC Penny's carrying several boxes that obscured her vision. As a result, she lost her footing and fell down the stairs. One would think that with reflexes established in Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, she would have been able to bounce back and minimalize injury to herself, but apparently not.
As a bystander calls 911, Sonichu and Robbie wonder how they will avoid paying for the treadmill they just destroyed. Magi-Chan uses the power of deus ex machina to inform Sonichu and his daughters that Rosechu has been hurt. As they hasten to the scene, they are all brought to tears as Sonichu commits a big medical NO-NO and picks up his injured wife who cannot move, likely further damaging any broken bones she is sustaining. Had her spine been injured, he very possibly may have caused irreparable damage.
It turns out both of Rosechu's legs are broken and all it takes is two weeks with casts on to fix her right up (in reality, even minor breaks in both legs would take several months to heal). Regardless, Rosechu returns home after a fortnight, and is dismayed to see she has gained a little weight. A few pounds as stated - which is negligible at best. Sonichu takes a moment to remind the reader that even if Rosechu had been horrifically disfigured as depicted in some of the nastier fan-art, he would still love and adore her.
Meanwhile, Sonichu and his girls have cooked a welcome-home feast for Rosechu, who is anxious that if she overeats she will gain more weight. Nobody passes comment on Robbie coming out as a trans-woman in the passing fortnight.
Rosechu sits herself at the table and immediately begins to gorge herself on all of the food whilst her family stare on in shock. Afterwards, sporting a hefty food-baby, she thanks them for the meal and goes to wash and get ready for bed. Sonichu hands Roberta $20 to get pizza whilst he tends to his wife. He asks Rosechu if everything is alright, concerned for her sudden massive appetite. Rosechu brushes him off and boasts she can fit into her skinny clothes before going on a tiradeabout how great food is.
Sonichu steps out of the story to inform us his daughters gave him a slice of pizza before jumping back in. Being the attentive husband he is, he pokes her food-baby to let her know that she's too fat for all her slimmer clothes. Rosechu, unsurprisingly bursts into tears and talks about how she doesn't want to be fat, but she felt obligated to eat the massive meal they had worked so hard on for her. Sonichu says he doesn't mind, and snuggles into her tummy and Rosechu, touched by his continued tenderness and affection, decides that perhaps he prefers her this way and considers not bothering to take the weight off after a text panel strongly implicates they had sex.
The next morning, Rosechu has inexplicably become obese literally overnight. Cera, tactless, jokingly asks if Rosechu is pregnant. Rosechu announces she is not pregnant, and wants to have a lazy first day home after her hospital stay and binge watch TV and play video games.
Cera is offended that her fat mother is content with her looks and tries to coax her into a fitness routine. Rosechu refuses, stating that after she's had her fun, she'll be back to work cooking for the family and that Cera is an ungrateful little shit for being upset that she's serving up Mexican food and caramel apples. After Cera tries one more time to get her mother on the treadmill, Rosechu simply leaves to make herself some pancakes.
Cera completely over-reacts and begins pestering Roberta, asking if she's seen Rosechu this morning. Roberta explains she and Christine spoke with Sonichu and have come to the reasonable conclusion not to force their mother to change when she's still recovering. Cera, still disgusted at the idea of having a fat cow for a mother, sends a vlog to her school informing them she's not going to be turning up because her mom is "big like Godzilla", and finishes by demanding Roberta get her homework for her, who complies.
Rosechu, meanwhile, orders cookies from Sandy and Zapina. She continues growing in size, and Cera simply joins in as well, feeling distraught about this entire situation. Later, on May 1st, Sonichu has a dream. He dreams that Count Graduon captured both Rosechu and Chris, and that he has to get through all three of his challenges. His first challenge is to swim down a river. When told to throw a cucumber into it, it's revealed that the river is made of pickle brine. He ends up getting really big and fat, not unlike his wife.
He then is told to get through a very narrow tunnel. He decides to do so, and for some inexplicable reason, the slime within it makes him thin out back to regular size. Finally, he is given two doors. One to save his beloved Rosechu, and the other to save Chris and CWCville. After an angsty dilemma, he ends up choosing Rosechu, who manages to help save Chris as well. They all get into a group hug, but Graduon isn't finished yet... However at that moment, Sonichu wakes up under his whale of a wife. He rolls her over somehow, and once she wakes up he explains his dream to her. She explains that since she prefers the active life (and that she's tired of her tail falling asleep), she is going to ditch the belly.
She goes downstairs and invites her daughter to join her in this journey, which she excitedly accepts. As the days go by, Rosechu and Cera somehow lose their considerable fat within less than 2 weeks (while Layla gains a lot of weight for some reason), and after some quick exposition, Sonic and Amy join the two for a total of two pages. They say goodbye and go home. Then, seemingly for no reason, it's revealed that Sonic was Silvana and Amy was a Ditto. This concludes Book 12.
|The Wedding Comic Chris ripped off|