THAT IS MY LINK!!!
|Cover Date:||15 September 2008|
|Finished:||25 February 2010 (revised 30 October 2010 and 13 September 2015)|
|Page Count:||97 (98 revised)|
Sonichu #10 is the eleventh issue of the Sonichu comic series. Chris submitted the first page to the CWCipedia on 8 December 2009, shortly after finishing Sonichu #9. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 February 2010 (Chris's birthday), though he missed it by a few hours.
The issue sees the return of Chris from the Time Void, proving that Chris was unable to keep himself out of the comic for very long. Once again, the title character takes a passenger-seat role to Chris. In the issue, he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon quickly embark on a quest to systematically eradicate homosexuality, tie up irrelevant plotlines using convenient deus ex machina, willingly murder hundreds of people for drawing porn of Sonichu characters and provide an outlet for a disturbingly violent revenge fantasy against the creators of Asperchu, all to secure Chris's dystopic rule over CWCville. The comic sees a drastic change in Chris's creative efforts, as outside forces directly affect the outcome of the story and breach the walls of the universe of CWCville, a world that Chris believes genuinely exists and that he, until then, had full control over as a sanctuary in which to escape reality. This internal compromise of his private imaginary world likely resulted in the five-year hiatus of the series.
October 2008 Preview
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's Medallion of Fail had captured the imaginations of trolls across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart Blanca, convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.
For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his 9 October 2008 video, where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his High School Ring implying its greater importance.
To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from Sonichu #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the Anchuent Prophecy, establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of Sonichu #8, and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character had been marooned in the Time Void since the end of Sonichu #7, and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash-forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.
Ironically, far more had transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin Sonichu #9, Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris had in fact subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already having oracular visions of his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.
Conflict with Asperpedia
During the production of Sonichu #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the Asperpedia. More specifically, Evan was pressuring Chris to kill or otherwise remove Simonla Rosechu from the comics, since she was based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, Simonchu without his approval. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the CWCipedia to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, the CWCipedia went offline, replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.
To recover the CWCipedia, Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: Sandy Rosechu, her almost-identical daughter with Wild. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, they are violently executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of Sonichu #10.
Chris's Promise to Remove Himself From the Series
As early as 28 August 2008, Chris had acknowledged that the Sonichu series had become too focused on Chris rather than Sonichu and the others. He promised that once he returned from the Time Void that he would step down as Mayor of CWCville and appoint his sister Crystal to take his place. Chris seemed earnest about this, and he even mentioned his plan in an e-mail to Shigeru Miyamoto in January 2009. At the end of #8, Chris teased "Next Book I get out of he Time Void", leading fans to assume he was going to step down as mayor in #9. Instead, Chris's escape from the Time Void was tacked onto the very end of the story, so he deferred his promise of pulling himself out of the books to Issue #10, where he could settle things with his remaining enemies.
And yet, after nearly several dozen pages of Chris slaughtering his foes, when the time came for him to address the people of CWCville, he announced that he would continue to be the Mayor, while Crystal would merely serve in an advisory role. Whether Chris plans to actually live up to his promise of staying out of the comics remains to be seen. Sonichu #11 started out Chris-free, but it was abandoned well before the conclusion of #10, which ends with Chris murdering someone with his superpowers, then declaring his birthday to be a national holiday.
Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
|Christian Chandler in Director Amenities|
|Videobooks:||Book 10 Replacement|
|Sonichu Site:||Episode 21|
|Audiobooks:||Episode 21 (1 of 7)|
|Episode 21 (2 of 7)|
Curing Da Homos
The comic begins by recapping Wild and Magi-Chan's effort to rescue Chris from the Time Void in the last issue. However, in this version, Chris adds more dialogue to the scene. Magi-Chan tells Chris how much everyone missed him during the nine months or so he was missing, and Chris announces his intentions to revenge himself on his various enemies. He also tells Wild and Magi-Chan that he briefly wound up in the year 2015, where he encountered Lovely Weather while participating in a medical study to cure homosexuality. In 2015, Weather and Chris are married, so she took him home, believing the Chris of 2008 to be her husband. Having tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self, he then fucked his future wife while his future self was at work.
By June of 2015, scientists have almost discovered the cure for homosexuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula (something that Chris obviously does not have). Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for some reason. Chris is then vaccinated with the formula and is satisfied with the results, albeit vaccines use a small sample of the original disease, as to reintroduce it to the body, thus implying Chris's blood was tainted, to start. He grabs an additional two of the "cure" syringes, planning to use one to turn Reldnahc back into Naitsirhc, about whom his completely random one true love Kel is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never revealed. He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!). In an ironic twist, the real-life Chris was forbidden from donating blood in 2017 due to being a tomgirl.
Before sending him on his way, however, Chris uses Magi-Chan's telepathy to contact his allies to co-ordinate the rest of his master plan. He calls out to Allison Amber and BILLY MAYS, to load up Son-Chu with his PlayStation 3, Guitar Hero and his plastic instruments and send him to the 4-cent_garbage.com Building in Clarksville, Tennessee; he then tells Patti-chan that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped Crystal over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him in Clarksville by 2:30; and finally, he tells Blake, Punchy, and Wild to meet him and Sonichu in Clarksville so they can perform in his imaginary band. Magi-Chan departs for the future, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from Sonichu #9, sort of.
Ironically, in the real June of 2015, same-sex marriage was made legal in all of the U.S.
Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo
Before heading to Clarksville, Chris makes a stop at the Sonichu Site Filing Facility, a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear. Much like the 4-cent Garbage Building, this appears to be a brick-and-mortar avatar for Sonichu.net. It's even "hosted" by Tripod. He enters to find his stuff safe and sound until the Devil Trolls emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris defeats them with ease, then starts talking about video games and the ESRB rating system for absolutely no reason. With his precious content safe, Chris uses his powers to teleport all of it into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building to ensure no living thing escapes, and then blows it up with everyone inside. Chris then claims that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.
With that task completed, Chris contacts a Gal pal for help setting up what would become CWCipedia. Next, he uses his foreknowledge of Lovely Weather to find her in a bookstore and set up their first date. After that, he contacts the CWCville Board of Directors, a previously unseen group that may play some role in the governance of the city. Once he informs them of his plan to commit mass murder, he resumes his journey to Clarksville to settle the score with 4-cent Garbage.
Operation: Grand Theft Medal
Note: Pages 13 - 20 of Sonichu #10 were drawn in October 2008 as a "preview", long before the rest of this issue was completed.
Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended before this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for LittleBigPlanet (yay!), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of LittleBigPlanet for Wii or Xbox360, as if these even existed.
Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for Sonichu to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his Guitar Hero guitar. Convinced these items will bring him victory, Chris waits patiently in front of the door, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place. Shouldn't Sonichu have beaten him there? He didn't have nearly as much dumb shit to do.
Inside, Jason somehow uses an illegal HEXbox copy of LittleBigPlanet to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, Beel uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of Christian Weston Chandler. This causes his Medallion to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand but feels no increase in his power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his High School Ring sparking with energy. Sprouting fangs of confidence, Chris puts on his glasses and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted sweetheart Blanca (already forgetting all about Lovely Weather from a few pages back). Despite copious conflicting evidence, Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage.com building.
The final page of the preview shows a photo of Jimmy Hill, who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and Bugs Bunny appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl "Jimmy!!" A crudely-drawn rendition of Spiny Norman also appears and says "Dinsdale", presumably in an attempt at humor. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.
This concludes the "preview" segment of the comic.
Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity
While waiting for the others, Chris meditates on a bench, unaware that Reldnahc Ha-Taque is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. At the last second, Chris senses the attack and blocks it. Chris declares his intention to defeat his dark counterpart once and for all, while Naitsirhc insists that he will turn Chris evil and gay. The two of them battle it out in their Sonichu forms (in a scene heavily traced from a Sonic comic) until they hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle full of the homo cure while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..." He then rises and stabs Reldnahc with the syringe, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. The medallion shatters, and as Reldnahc transforms back into the totally straight Naitsirhc Giovanni, Chris barks the completely non-homoerotic phrase, "Drink My Blood!"
Chris teleports the unconscious Naitsirhc to Kel's waiting bedside, and he laments that he never wore a shirt in his Reldnahc persona, but at least the evil homo is gone. Moments later, Son-Chu and The Hedgehog Boys arrive. As they set up their Guitar Hero gear, Sonichu notices the PaRappa the Rapper cap in Chris's car. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, he snaps his fingers, turning into his real-life self (that is, various photos of Chris used in place of drawings). Whatever effect this was supposed to have is undermined by the fact that Chris is wearing a different shirt in real life than he was in the comic. So, naturally, he stops to explain that the correct shirt was in the laundry. Chris commands Son-Chu to transform into a soundstage for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys to perform. That's right, they plan to defeat the trolls with the power... of ROCK.
Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com
Chris begins to play what the comic calls "Revive Zordon", a set of badly written lyrics set to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Unlike the original song, which was about having sex, Chris's version complains about an eleven-year-old incarnation of a children's TV show. As Chris plays the instrumental part of the song, the 4-cent garbage Building begins to shake. Inside, Beel, Clyde Cash, and Jack Thaddeus warn Jason Kendrick Howell that the building can't withstand guitar licks of this magnitude, and they must escape before the whole place comes down around them. Jason agrees but chooses to save only himself and Kathleen. As he readies for departure, he explains that he is STRAIGHT, and has decided to retire from trolling to settle down with Kathleen in a normal life. Beel also decided to save himself, leaving Clyde and Jack to die. With no way out, and in what is - in a supreme irony - the only genuinely romantic moment in Sonichu, Jack and Clyde hold hands as lovers as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making homos look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft together as the building collapses around them.
Outside, Chris and his band continue their relentless barrage of rock until the entire building is reduced to a pile of rubble. The narration then reports on the aftermath, including a massive estimated death toll for the employees. Chris has the gall to say that he and "the rest of us heroes" cleaned up the rubble and called ambulances to save the very people he attacked. Chris sheds a tear over the senseless destruction he had perpetrated minutes earlier, almost as if doing so would justify the needless murder of over 100 people who made fun of him. He then quickly changes the subject by comparing the dead trolls to TMZ.
Christian Love Day
At that moment, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and being Big Brother. He reports to Chris that testing on the Homo Vaccine in 2015 is a success and that he has delivered it to 2008, where it will be dispensed into the world's drinking water. Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named "Christian Love Day", in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible. Magi-Chan also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and HONEST female, and she will fall in love with Magi-Chan.
Out of nowhere, Meg Griffin shows up and says that she's a fan of the comic series. As she and Chris talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her 'sir', which on Family Guy is a running joke. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and sucker punches the guy. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually Silvana (who has a penis) in disguise. Silvana comments on how easy it was to "troll" Chris, illustrating Chris's extremely bizarre notion of what constitutes trolling.
Chris then pauses the story to make yet another rambling non-apology to his imaginary homosexual fanbase. Much like Sonichu's tantrum in Sonichu #9, Chris starts with a very diplomatic tone, but grows more defensive and confrontational, blaming the blatant homophobia in the comics on the readers' refusal to accept him and his characters as heterosexual. Having blamed the victims, Chris then begs his gay readers not to abandon him. Despite having made this "apology", however, Chris never made any effort to remove or redraw the offending content.
Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan
With gay people finally dealt with, Chris and Sonichu use the seven Sonichu Balls to transform into Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu. After transforming, they communicate telepathically, and Chris orders Sonichu to RuleCWC while he heads back to CWCville. There, Chris enters the Dark Mirror Hole and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. In RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, but she immediately showers Darkbind with gratitude rather than him, because of course Zelina is female and Sonichu is already married.
Mission in Minnesota
Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan rendezvous over the home of Alec Benson Leary. After breaking in, Chris inserts his finger into a USB port on Alec's computer (a HEXbox Pavillion), then concentrates and rips off Shadow the Hedgehog by placing himself inside the computer. Chris then deletes all files within the Asperpedia website, bans Mao, Sean, Evan and Alec, and deletes their accounts for good measure. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls") with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though Xbox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator. Just in case he hadn't done enough damage, Chris blows up the computer as well.
Meanwhile, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the bad art from the Asperchu series. As he investigates the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu discovers Asperchu outside, along with Alec's version of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. When they see Ultra Sonichu, Alec's Hedgehog Pokemon treat him like a god and beg forgiveness from Chris for the awful things Alec has made them do in his comics. They tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's, forced them to become gay, and compelled them to drop their real names as they impersonated their counterparts in CWCville. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure their Asperger's and homosexuality, and give them new clothes. Asperchu himself is dramatically altered, becoming a muscle-bound Sonichu known as Mitch. In return for his help, Sonichu asks them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free.
When Chris comes outside to meet the others, they literally bow down before him and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God, but he appreciates the gesture. Together, they all defeat Metal Asperchu, then physically assault Alec Benson Leary off-panel. Alec apparently had a group of (anonymous) Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.
Chris pauses the story once again to address the audience. This time, he denounces Asperchu and its depiction of the cast of Sonichu. Impatiently, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even he is fed up with the constant interruptions.
Return to CWCville
Back in the Mayor's Office, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. Simonla specifically denounces Evan, who she claims retconned her as a female clone of Simonchu in his own comic. Allison Amber speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into chaos and anarchy. For no stated reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.
Ultra Sonichu and the four Basement Rosechus arrive in one of CWCville's many soup hotels. Sonichu rambles on and on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. After he drops them off, he runs into Inos, a very high niggo. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. He has Magi-Chan summon some cops to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for the Moon.
With all that nonsense out of the way, Ultra Sonichu flies to the flagpole of a tall building, where he expends the last of his Ultra Sonichu power to free all Jerkops and presumably Janekops from Slaweel Ryam's mind control. Collosal Chan confronts her in the PVCC, now deserted since all of the Jerkops have gone back to their old lives. Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast and how she tried to cause others to feel the same way. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to release Graduon. Chris takes the wand and smashes it onto the floor. Chris then complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates electric versions of Kratos's blades before declaring that he will defeat Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and Chris naturally defeats her with ease. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.
Christian Lies, Simonla Dies
Following Mary's defeat, Chris holds a public assembly to update the city on recent developments. He announces Walsh's arrest and imprisonment and the emancipation of all Jerkops. He also declares legalization of homosexuality in CWCville (gay marriage remains illegal), which is completely pointless because Chris set events in motion to eradicate homosexuality earlier in this very comic. Chris appoints his twin sister Crystal as a "social relations" assistant (not mayor, as he promised), and announces that he will continue to hold the office of mayor indefinitely. Chris also promises once again to make fewer appearances in future Sonichu comics.
During his speech, Simonla goes to the bathroom, leaving Wild to tend to their egg. At the same time, Magi-Chan notices Evan in the rafters of the Mall, trying to cut down a massive TV screen hanging over the audience. He quickly paralyzes Evan, then spots Simonchu skulking behind a potted plant in a black cloak. Magi-Chan accuses him of trying to murder his sister (Simonla, according to Chris). But they are just a diversion, as a third conspirator, Alec Benson Leary, has finished planting a Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the women's restroom, which he detonates once Simonla sits down to piss.
Wild accompanies Simonla to the hospital, and she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from Gurren Lagann) in case she doesn't make it. Wild sits on their egg in the waiting room, until Bill the Scientist informs him that she died in surgery. Wild swears revenge, but Magi-Chan reminds him that the killers are already in custody. At that moment, Wild's egg hatches. Wild names his very familiar-looking daughter Sandy and Magi-Chan wastes no time in telling her point blank that Evan killed her mother.
Wild assumes the burden of a single father, and within a week, Sandy evolves into a Rosechu, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Simonla.
Trial of the Asperpedia Four
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of CWCVille v. Leary, Watley, George and Ling. Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (based inexplicably on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for prosecuting attorney Marvey Blaziken to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla,
Chris Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, gory pages, and all that fucking swearing.
Sean, acting as a defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while "super-high". All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. Sean offers a rock in their defense because they rock. Nevertheless, the jury convicts the Asperpedia Four and Judge Lewis sentences them to be executed by those they allegedly hurt.
For the first act, Alec is strapped to a "Ten-Button Electric Chair". Each button is pressed by Chris or one of his minions, each one dwelling (and clearly overreacting) on how they were portrayed in Asperchu. Once all ten buttons are pressed, the chair electrocutes Alec, thus giving them all the satisfaction of killing him. For writing a parody comic.
Next, Evan is chained to a wall, where Wild and Sandy are able to torture him as much as they please. Wild lets Sandy go first, eager to let her taunt and steal from her mother's "killer". After taking his glasses as some sort of trophy (a habit usually donned by serial killers), she then proceeds to drill several holes in Evan's body, including his pelvis, before she and Wild finish him off together. Y'know, just normal father and daughter bonding.
Sean, however, is hung by his wrists in a room where Bill the Scientist, Allison Amber, and Kel are able to shoot him to death at point-blank range.
Finally, Chris literally breaks Mao with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before exploding his heart, without any remorse or justification of why even noting that "his amends have been made" for doing so. Recall that one of the charges against the Asperpedia Four was for "portryals [sic] of death in horrifying, gorey [sic] detail".
Apology to the Asperpedia Four
Absurdly, throughout the scenes depicting the Asperpedia Four's arrest and trial, Chris includes flashbacks to his speech from just before Simonla's death. In these panels, Chris makes apologies and admissions as demanded by Alec Benson Leary in their phone conversations
Chris admits the following:
- Alec has a fanbase comparable to Chris's own.
- Evan may have given Chris permission to use Simonchu in his comics, but Evan later withdrew that permission.
- Simonla was never Chris's character to use, being a blatant copy of Simonchu.
- Chris attempted to cover up the truth about how Simonchu inspired Simonla by editing her CWCipedia page.
Chris then makes the following apologies:
- To Evan, for creating Simonla without his permission.
- To Alec, for calling him naive over the phone.
- To Mao, for cursing him
- To Alec, for depicting Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu breaking into Alec's home and using Asperchu characters in this very issue.
- To Alec again, for implying that he kept four Rosechus captive in his basement for sexual purposes.
- To the Sonichu fanbase for failing to update the CWCipedia regularly and writing disrespectful replies to fan mail in the Mailbag.
Note that while Chris is conceding Alec's points in these panels, on the same pages he shows the Asperpedia Four being treated like base criminals. Most likely, this was Chris's way of fulfilling his agreement with Alec, but without actually giving him what he asked for.
Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in an execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, Christian Love Day, and rips off Bill Pullman's speech in the movie "Independence Day".
The comic ends with a two-page dedication to the memory of PandaHalo including her original fan art and a page from her comic.
As a super special bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks-long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law": a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...you can guess exactly who. Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from his talks with Alec, Chris essentially tells his True and Loyal Fanbase to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take months. Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.
True to his word (for once) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
October 2008 Preview: Grand Theft Medal
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to YouTube on 20 October 2008.
February 2010 Preview: Simonla's Death
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed Evan, revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris admits that Asperchu is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, Simonla asks Wild to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before Bill the Doctor tells Wild that she died. In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not shown on-page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on-page. Wild mourns for precisely one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.
The preview was the result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being Chris, refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it would upset Wild Sonichu. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.
On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to Jack Thaddeus, who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with homo pickles.
Depiction of the Asperpedia Four
As #10 took months to complete, Chris added content to respond to criticism of the parts he had finished. For example, in one of the phone calls with Alec Benson Leary, Alec took exception to the way Chris depicted him and his characters on pages 51-70. Chris would later apologize for this on pages 86 and 87.
Upon the completion of the comic, Alec called Chris again to take issue with the gruesome executions of himself, Sean, Evan, and Mao.
On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his Twitter account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Ultimately, Chris abandoned the Cwcipedia altogether in May.
When Jackie, a girl who did not know Asperchu or anything negative about Chris saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was executing children. She would eventually nag Chris about completing the new ending to #10, if only to keep his promise to Alec.
On 30 October 2010, at Jackie's insistence, Chris uploaded a video in which he presented the revision to the ending that he had promised to Alec six months earlier. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming double entendre-spewing retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen is put in a maximum-security prison for smoking pot.
However, Jackie had asked Chris to make a different kind of comic altogether, in which Mayor Chris has a parade of forgiveness and understanding in CWCville, acknowledging Alec's helpful intentions. She made this request due to an earlier chat during which Chris had said he had forgiven Alec; she wanted this comic to show that Chris stood by his words. Chris typically failed to deliver, admitting that his ongoing hatred of Alec's homosexuality, Aspergers, and JERKness made it impossible. He therefore completely missed the point of the exercise, even when Jackie had been very clear as to why she wanted the pages redone.
Chris then proposed a revision to his plans for the remake: The Asperpedia Four would be found not guilty, Chris would give shoutouts to CWCipedia admins, and then Calvin and Dee^2 would take the four into custody. For the parade, they would be displayed on two floats: Mao and Evan would be branded as "busted Cyber-Bullies/Trolls," and Alec and Sean would be "promoted as the next Dark Humor Comic Authors." So despite being found "not guilty," the parade seems more like a Roman triumph in Chris's honor, with his captured enemies included as an example of his glory. After all that, the Asperpedia Four would then go to the Amish commune of their own volition and start new lives there with their relatives.
In September 2015, Chris finally released a revised version of Sonichu #10. While it replaced the controversial execution of The Asperpedia Four with their exile to Amish country, it also expunged Chris's apology to them altogether. Chris replaced this with a self-serving monologue explaining his new gender identity and making a plea for tolerance. If you string it together it reads:
|My adventures into the year 2015 has left me better informed of details. About all things of the Mayan calendar are not true. The world does continue on beyond 2013; the calendar is only going to be outdated, nothing else. I also have expanded my...mind by meeting myself; I had actually found myself and understood who I am on the inside; I am, and always have been, a woman, and a lesbian. There is no..."normal." Being individually different, and "weird" from what was thought to be normal in years past, is being truly normal. So, if anyone calls you weird, aside from...bad habits that could actually harm you, if someone calls you weird, take it as a compliment, and say to that bully, "Thank you. You're cool too." And if that person continues to hate on you after that, do not take their words personally. Just shake it off and move forward with your life. Being who...you are is truly the better way to find your own individual happiness. And if you have not found yourself yet, keep an open mind and an open heart, keep what is good...for you; discard what is bad for you, and find and choose the labels that you feel does match with who you are as a person and an individual. And the sweetheart...you are meant to be with will not only accept you for who you are and stays with you, but who you feel makes you happy and comfortable, and that same feeling is...mutual between you both. And being friends before lovers makes for a better and longer relationship. And when you are happy with who you are, your partner will be happy...you too [sic]. Thank you for listening and learning along with me. I am Christian Weston Chandler, mayor of Cwcville, Virginia. Have a great and safe day.|
As in the video, Chris reveals that Slaweel and Kathleen are sharing a cell. Kathleen tried but failed to bring pot into jail by hiding it "in my bosom and up my behind," indicating that Chris's stated commitment to TV-Y7 content standards is as strong as ever.
Other revisions were made to remove references to homosexuality which Chris now found offensive. Typically, Chris was too careless to spot them all. Clyde and Jack are still going to hell "for being homos." Even more confusing, while in the new statement above he claims, "I am, and always have been a woman," in the very same comic he still asserts, "I, Christian Weston Chandler, am and always have been a straight man." But don't forget--nothing is worse than mislabeling.
|Sonichu #10 Version Comparison|
|Page Number||Original Version||Revised Version||Notes|
|3||Instead of Chris's vaccine curing homosexuality, it rids the world of "nombi-zazis."|
|18||The medal goes not to the troll Blanca, but to Chris's mother.|
|21||Homophobic references to Naitsirhc's evil "way of life" and "your kind" are changed.|
|25||The word "homo" becomes "doof." Instead of becoming straight, Naitsirhc has lost his "nombie army."|
|31||"Gaywads" become "haters." The enemies are not homosexuals, but those who mislabel.|
|37||The threat of "homosexuality and asexuality" is replaced by "nombie-zazis."|
|79||Instead of explicity proscribing gay marriage, Chris now welcomes it into Cwcville.|
|2015 Revised Pages|
- archive Sonichu #10
- Sonichu #10 Preview
- Audiobook (part 1 of 7)
- YouTube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions
- Download the CBR to read the comic the way godbear intended
Download .rar of Sonichu #10(dead link as of February 2015)
|The Players:||The Games:||The Prizes:|