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|“||'LittleBiGPlanet; it is a Planet that is Little, it is a Planet that is Big. LittleBiGPlanet.' A motto for the game I made up.||”|
LittleBigPlanet (also known as Little Pig Blanket and LittleFuckPlanet) is a critically-acclaimed platformer franchise, released exclusively for Sony's PS3, PS4, PSP, and PS Vita. It is basically a nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored side-scrolling action series which allows players to craft custom levels.
While the first game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his claws on the LittleBigPlanet beta, and started posting videos that showed his enthusiastic approval of the game and his amazing custom levels. Chris, being an enthusiastic fan of the game, fancies himself an LBP spokesmanchild, while failing to realize that neither his reputation nor his promotional activities actually help convince people that LBP is worth playing.
While Chris was gone from the internet, he purchased LittleBigPlanet 2, and being Chris, he played it extensively. He made just two levels this time, the CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial and Autism Tutorial. He has also bought LittleBigPlanet 3.
Chris and LBP
Chris is a huge fan of LittleBigPlanet. He participated in the beta test in the fall of 2008 and was very annoyed that he had to take a whole week-long break between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version. He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When LBP was released, Chris disappeared from the Internet for the better part of two months in November and December 2008. The game's main character, "Sackboy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for Sonichu #10, which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his PlayStation Network trophy case, as well as every single game add-on available in the PSN Store.
The biggest reason Chris latched onto LittleBigPlanet was that it let him make Sonichu: The Game; no other game in existence was sufficiently idiot-proof for the purpose. Of course, Chris still managed to make somewhat horrific levels and it took until LBP 2 until Chris's output started to look at least somewhat plausible.
The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks on the HEXBox, which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of LittleBigPlanet for the Wii and Xbox 360 before the game was even out, and condemned these vile bastardizations before even finding out if they actually exist.
Not everything is rosy in Chris's LittleBigPlanet world, though. He has had problems saving his profile because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In the ScrewAttackEurope interview, he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview, he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of LittleBigPlanet as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also unhappy with the Sonic the Hedgehog DLC (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his horrid abominations in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how video games work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts.
In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by Stephen Fry, a well-known homosexual and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to theism, making him something close to the platonic anti-Chris.)
Chris vs. Sony vs. the LBP Community
Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over LittleBigPlanet. It's not surprising that the LBP community is one of the few online communities Chris has gotten into voluntarily. However, just like in the case of the PaRappa contest and PS3 boards in general, his personality and antics have not helped him to earn friends there.
Late in 2008, Chris's "PS3 History" videos were featured on the game's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when trolls began to link and post the many NOODZ of the level's creator.
Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the LBP community at large. See most of his LBP videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In Download For Play Only, Chris also begged the LBP community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.
Much later, in March 2010, Sony released a DLC pack of Sonic the Hedgehog costumes for LBP. While one would think that something like this would fill the Sonic-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make Sonichu. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about, and his only demand to game developers is to ask for something that would benefit him alone.
|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.
Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE [sic] PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.
Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be separate [sic] Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my Rosechu Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS.
I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.
Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my Cwcipedia at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page PSN Online ID: Sonichu
Sony did not respond.
The LBP site allows players to take snapshots of themselves playing levels. This allowed trolls to visit Chris's levels, tamper with them, and display the results.
Trolls also created their own levels which mocked Chris and his hedgehog abortions. In retaliation, Chris visited these levels and posted photos of his Sackboy glaring angrily into the camera, to serve notice. Naturally, this was entirely counterproductive.
Chris has occasionally left reviews of levels created by others. In chronological order, from earliest to latest:
- Review of level "LOL MOVIE": "You may as well have done the Whole "asdfmovie2" FlipNote Animation."
- Review of level "In the Pod! Copyable!": "It can use a path to the scoreboard or end."
- Review of level "[DEPRECATED - SUPERSEDED BY TOOLKIT] Copyable Personal Storage": "Not bad. You should check out my Collector's Case (original for LBP, And Updated version for LBP 2), Plus the voiced Tutorial Animation Level. I will hand it to you on the Sticker Lock and Elevator parts though. Good job."
- Review of level "Creator's Toolkit // A huge collection of logic and objects": "I have only two words for the microchips here, at least for the Sackbots... Holy Crap! Excellent, Geinus Work!"
- Review of level "Prius_Prius Fights Back": "This Prius IS an Autobot."
- Review of level "lbp2 vita tool tutorial (plus give away)": "It is good, but it could be more accurate AND better if upgraded to be PSMove Compatible; I can't move the mine car at all on Move/Nav Combo."
- Review of level "☆Sweets Fantasy☆": "It needs improvment for One-Player play and Move/Nav Controller Combo."
- Review of level "The Ruins (Full Level)": "It is decent; it could be better."
Chris's LittleBigPlanet creations
- See also: LittleBigPlanet videos
Chris has created many levels in LittleBigPlanet and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing, and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also have some gut feeling about what goes into the design of an enjoyable game level. But no - his level shows that the entirety of his video game achievements was obtained by merciless, uninterrupted grinding.
Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his comic and the videos. They're poorly thought out, not playtested before publishing, show laziness, and technical incompetence all around, and have an irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same minimal effort to LBP as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris's levels follow the tried-and-true "combine two franchises" technique and that all of them have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being "creepy," "weird," "rubbish," and "frustrating."
The introductory quotations by Chris are as they appeared in the LBP2 incarnations of the levels.
Sonichu Episode 1
|This is the very first epsode of my Sonichu Comic Series. I am the Original Creator of Sonichu & Rosechu, Christian Weston Chandler. To my Loyal Sonichu & Rosechu fans, Enjoy. It WILL be Updated after I have completed my current Project; Please enjoy the Original version while it's still Here. "(ungrateful people)... You All Sicken Me! >:( Grow Up!!!" Hey! CWCki! Make THAT your Long-Featured Quote! And Mock ILL of my Collector's Case Tutorial Animation while you're at it! Let Me Just Be! Let Me Live!|
Chris began mashing this level together when LBP was still in beta, and he was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. The Loyal Fanbase, most of whom either lacked their idol's new favorite game or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited for the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. And then we got this.
The Sonichu level was clearly the reason why Chris wanted the game and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for his franchise. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first LBP level he made, and the well-kept adage in the game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.
The level is loosely based on Episode #1 of the comic. "Loosely," because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements, combined with speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic. The rest of the level is just expanses of empty areas, poorly-made blocks of material, small jumping puzzles, and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are stoned enough. Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu nor a costume.
Images which Chris inserted into the level and posted on his LBP profile:
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Bugertime [sic]
|Because it's a Great Idea, the Gaming Classic, Burgertime; Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Style! Chris Chan Be #1 in da hood, G! A Tip: Take Your Time in getting around the shocking food and Carl; there are PRIZES for ACING the level!|
Published 11 November 2008. Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with a mashup of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and the 1982 arcade game BurgerTime. Although it was rumored that this level was deleted after Sony lashed out against rip-offs, it's still online today. However, it's almost impossible to complete due to Chris's incompetent programming; in almost three years, it's been finished only eighteen times.
LBC1-CWC's Playstation 3 History
- Main article: PS3 History Level
|This Level was Honorably Mentioned on LittleBiGWorkshop. :) My history with my PS3, from First Impresions. I've had mine for 1 2/3 Years out of 2, but it's a Good Story. Happy 2nd Anniversary, PS3; You've Upgraded My Life; Thank you, Sony.|
Published 2 December 2008. This is the level that catapulted Chris to fame when it was featured on the LittleBigPlanet website as one of the honorable mentions in an LBP contest. The level is vastly improved compared to his Sonichu level, but this isn't saying much. Chris figured out how to build things but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than include purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy that you'd have to be autistic to sit through it.
The real purposes of this level are to advertise his "wonderful" recreations of the PS3, PSP, and guitar controller, dispense prize bubbles, and most importantly, show off his PS3 game collection. This collection includes four games with hot chicks — so you'd better not doubt his straightness. Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history — the speech bubbles tell us that Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.
This level also includes a detailed PS3 recreation which, unsurprisingly, Chris admits to copying from another level. He also claims it is "worse," perhaps referring to the barely identifiable PS3 made with falling Tetris blocks that he himself cobbled together earlier in the level.
Chris won the Metal Gear Solid level pack after this demonstration of the power of the weapon that will lead us through the 21st century.
LBP Collector's Case
|This is a Useful Accessory. Are you tired of after having downloaded a bunch of items off the intenet LBP Levels, that you have to delete a bunch of your old ones? No worries with this Collector's Case. Look up my Tutorial Animtion Video in LittleBiGPlanet 2 to learn more.|
Published 17 November 2008. Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his LBP profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": a few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. You can stick items in bubbles, and place photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.
Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. In the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opened and closed in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).
A Fun First Date
|This is a fun level, most suitable for (Straight) Couples. Although there IS a route for the single without a date. Happy Valentines Day, 2009, from Christian Weston Chandler. ;)|
Published 14 February 2009. Meant for Julie, this level reaches towards good taste and rapes it brutally. It features some rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "rollercoaster" is the highlight of the level, with two extreme loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these ten seconds of mild amusement are over, failure appears. You're led into a pink room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your sweetheart. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.
He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, where the player is mocked for being single. "No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says, as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson. The player mopes and hangs his head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.
Metal Speed Solid
|I've fixed the majority of past bugs, and I've added NEW Prizes: take down ALL Turrets. The lever in the lift will help you: the final three are accompanied by secret buttons. Enjoy.|
Published 26 December 2008. Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, with no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of MGS: linear, boring speed sections and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. The level features rave lights and lots of seizure-inducing material. There's also an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls, with glitchy sections where you must travel at "Sonic speed". Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly-made pathways will glitch you into giving up!
"Rescuing Kacey" was made in November 2009 and presented in the video "Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler". The plot of this video roughly follows the infamous Gun Comic, which was leaked later. Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris, who is allegedly holding Kacey hostage and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was not in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap into bed in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey, and Liquid - just why did he buy three controllers for PS3?
The second half of the video recycles the First Date level, and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day 2009, quite a long time before Chris and Kacey met.
The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom
|This is a Preview of the epic Saga of the Wise Guiding Owl and his family as they fight their vicious predator rivals with aid from the students and friends to defend the Kingdom of Heartland. A Damian Antaria/Chris Chan Production; sadly we broke up. :(|
Published 6 March 2010. "The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom (Foretaste Version)" was announced on Twitter on 9 February 2010, and it's based on the compelling prose written by Chris and his latest gal-pal, The Wallflower. It features owls, walls of text, and completely unjustifiable (yet inevitable) cameos by two certain Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Chris did not produce a video of this level, but the fanbase has done its best.
The level preview is notorious in that while Chris had been trying to protect his latest sweetheart from troll attention, he revealed the Wallflower's pen name in the level description. As she had already established herself on the Internet with that name, she was easily discovered by trolls. Chris's relationship with her came crashing down.
It is therefore unlikely that the full version of the level will ever be released. Chris being Chris, he didn't have the good sense to retract the level from the servers. On the contrary, he uploaded a modified version of this level on LittleBigPlanet 2, changing the description to replace "Full level coming soon!" with "sadly we broke up :(".
LittleBigPlanet 2 was released on 18 January 2011, precipitating a still-deeper retreat into the hugbox. Chris pre-ordered the Collector's Edition six months in advance after trading in "9 PS3, 2 PS2, 3 PSP and 4 DS Games", all of which only covered about half the price.
LBP 2 Collecter's [sic] Case
|This is a Useful Accessory. Are you tired of after having downloaded a bunch of items off the intenet LBP Levels, that you have to delete a bunch of your old ones? No worries with this Collector's Case. Now with functional Drawers.|
Published 27 January 2011. It truly showcases all of the highly innovative new features of the sequel--namely, its backwards compatibility and, uh, drawers. Chris's hoarding tendencies just can't be kept in check. He ordered CWCkians to mock it, which is interesting because there's not much to specifically mock in it. It's just more of the same.
Collector's Case Tutorial
- Main article: CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial
|This is the Tutorial Video/Animation for the very useful LittleBiGAccessory.|
Published 27 January 2011. LBP2 introduced the ability to record one's own voice, so Chris's first major creation was a video of Sonichu explaining how to use his groundbreaking "Collector's Case" level. Chris really sounds like he's in his happy place during this video, in sharp contrast with his next piece of work...
- Main article: Autism Tutorial
|Simply put, this is a 6-Part, Half-Hour in total length, Educational Animation that talks about Autism, and how to treat, cope and socialize with people who have it, from the words of a High-Functioning Autistic dude, Christian W. Chandler (me). Please SMILE and Heart ALL of the Parts. *Facts of Autism collected from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism and diagrams from Peggy J. Parks' "Autism" book; which all can also be read on autism.org and from books at your local lbrary and educational videos.|
On 13 February 2011, Chris published his Autism Tutorial and Autism Tutorial Extra levels. These non-interactive machinima bits finally show some advanced planning and craftsmanship, and Chris actually narrates them somewhat clearly. However, he hasn't improved his rhetoric at all, which might be pretty important if he intends to use the game as a soapbox.
|Chris's video game videos|
Other game videos: Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway | Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown | Sonichu Game Talk | CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san | Apology to Game & Hobby Place | Fight with Mary Lee Walsh | CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero | SingStar Challenge | For G4's Web Soup | CWC Fighter | Brutal Legend | Brutal Legend Plus | Sonichu's Edge | Mario Kart 8 Videos | Super Smash Bros. Videos | CWC vs Koas | random Review N' Stuff | Sonic Forces