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BlueSpike

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Sweethearts Trolls
JULAYYYYYYYY.PNG
BlueSpike
Real name David
Alias LeonSpike
Julie Milvana
Max Milvana
Date of Birth c. 1996
Gender Female Male
Nationality American
Race White
Occupation(s) Troll

Most 13-year-old boys only dream of getting to watch an autistic manchild shove pieces of CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC up his ass. BlueSpike (AKA LeonSpike, "a 13 year old brat" according to Chris) got to live that dream, when he trolled Chris through 2 identities: a sweetheart named Julie (aka JULAAAY) and her brother Max.

The trolling caused events such as Chris admitting to Julie that he had tried a dildo and anal beads, the infamous sex tape where he fucks Kimmi, a description of a future scene from Sonichu #9 alluding to his gay fans, how Chris hates everything that's not Aryan, his father walking in to him mass debating, and other sick shit.

Due to his sadistic treatment of Chris, especially during the Mumble call where he revealed himself as Julie, BlueSpike remains a controversial figure among Christorians. He is also indirectly responsible for the "JULAAAAAAAAYYY!" meme, so he is partially to blame for all the weens who still find it amusing.

Julie

What Chris believed Julie looked like.
Chris and Julie, together in LittleBigPlanet. The salad days.
 
 
I can tell in my heart Julie IS 19.
 

 

—Chris on Julie.[1]

 
 
JULAAAAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!!!!
 

 

—Chris professes his undying love while screwing a doll.

Julie Milvana[2] (born 13 July 1989[3]) was a Molvanîan Methodist[4] Sonichu fan who became Chris's sweetheart after PandaHalo. Her kidnap by her evil brother Max led to Chris's ill-fated rescue mission to Cleveland.

"Julie" first showed up in IRC in December 2008, suggesting the infamous Tour of Chris's House video.[5] She later posed a ton of Sonichu questions submitted by fans[6] and was invited to Sonichu Girls. As early as 3 January 2009, she asked Chris what he would do if a JERK kidnapped his heartsweet--he said, "I would learn his demands if any, or if he hurt her, I'd strike the jerk back." Julie also got excited by the prospect of an orgy with Chris and the Sonichu Girls.[7] The next day, it was revealed that Chris had promised his virginity to both Panda and Julie, and both ladies were furious, with Julie threatening to kill herself.[8] Later she calmed down and moved to Ohio to live with relatives. Ever classy, Chris suggested a threesome with PandaHalo.[9]

Chris refused to drive to Ohio, instead insisting that Julie come to him. He also couldn't be bothered to attack Clyde in IRC, even when he threatened Julie.[10]

When Chris chose Sarah May over her, Julie was crushed. Chris apologized, and then abruptly went back to talking about vidya.[11]

Clyde Cash made more serious threats against Julie, forcing Chris to upload a famous 5 February 2009 video admitting that he was gay.[11]

Once Chris got it into his head that PandaHalo had burned to death in a wildfire, he began to focus even more on Julie as a sweetheart.

Chris received a letter written by Julie, the first physical proof of her "existence". In it, it details the love professed by her to Chris.

That Valentine's Day, Chris uploaded an LBP level, and Chris and Julie took their relationship to the next level with cybersex. Bob Chandler walked in, and the rest is history. Chris's parents didn't believe that Julie was TRUE and HONEST.[12]

In an infamous video on 20 February 2009, Chris created a sex video for Julie with the help of his inflatable assistant Kimmi, in order to give Julie an idea of what their first time together would be like. Chris's agonized cries of "JULAAAAAAAY!" would prove one of the most striking and memorable of CWC-isms; to this date, many erroneously believe that Kimmi is Julie. This is not so; Chris may be the most desperate man alive, but he's not quite got to the point where he's convinced himself any of his sex dolls are real.

Max

The mysterious Max.
Receipts from Chris's epic journey to Cleveland. Note that he asked for no pickles on the mayo hamburger, and that the place he at was a Sonic Drive-In.

Max was the evil, mysterious brother of Julie who held her against her will. On 26 February 2009, Chris valiantly traveled to Ohio in a bid to rescue her and got his parents all worried. (His ancestors' spirits had wished him "a Safe Trip to Ohio" two days prior at Aunt Corrina's funeral.)[13] Unfortunately, because Chris got the "wrong" address, he ended up at a run down house in the ghetto that was inhabited by an elderly black woman.[14]

Main article: Julie Reveals Herself

On 3 March 2009, Max gained control of Chris's PlayStation Network account, and during an hour-long audio session threatened to sell the PSN account and forbid Julie from seeing Chris. Chris was coerced into declaring BILLY MAYS to be the mayor of CWCville and shoving the pieces of his destroyed Sonichu medallion up his anal cavity, before he was able to talk to Julie, at which point Julie admits that both she and Max were the figments of BlueSpike's imagination. At no point did BlueSpike even mention the sex tape (which had already gotten nearly 2 million hits on SlutLoad). BlueSpike's female voice is an unconvincing falsetto, which makes it all the more hilarious (or duressful, depending on who you talk to) that it worked so well on Chris.

This incident shattered both his heart level and his anus to 0%.

Encyclopedia Dramatica Troll War

Kids say the darndest things.

On 5 March 2009, an all-out civil war broke out between trolls on the Chris-chan ED discussion page on whether BlueSpike had gone too far, whether he was a hypocrite, or if he was merely a tool initiated by Clyde Cash to ruse Chris into the further milking of lulz. Suffice to say, a combination of outrage and troll remorse turned the whole event into a clusterfuck.

 
 
If BlueSpike really is 13 years old, then we know who the real child molesters are. "hey, they made fun of YOU for doing sonic recolours?, look at this guy!". "hey! be one of the cool kids, help this autistic guy jack off, pretend to be a girl so we can video tape and record it..." . Thats the REAL reason you were shiting it and called for a 30 minute silence just after, Clyde/Mayes. At least you had the balls to say that it was you responsible in channel once. You know its not going to be pizza's at 1am, and you know its not a fucking cat. If Bluespike really is 13, then you groomed a child to perform sex acts on a mentally retarded man for your pleasure. You're fucked, son. You both broke a lolcow, but theres better sport now, ruining your lives. And dont act like you dont care, I saw you shiting yourself all that night and the next, sending waves of members out to kill threads about it or put in false names, just like Your sock earlier in the page. Ready to have a seat of there?
 

 

—Wit, ED user

Most of the trolling involved BlueSpike having phone sex with Chris for hours each night, listening to Chris masturbating. [15] [16] As BlueSpike was in complete control of Chris, he could have done more sinister things, but night after night he engaged in nothing but noisy, fabricated (on Blue's end) phone sex and listened to Chris very loudly go on dates with Rosie Palms. Draw your own conclusions about BlueSpike's sexuality. One such session did eventuate in the legendary interruption by the Internet lumberjack.

Today

Today, BlueSpike is easily one of, if not the most polarizing troll in the CWChronology. Most trolls tend to frown on BlueSpike and his methods, as his methods easily echo actions done by weens and A-Loggers, though some weens yearn to return to the sadist days of BlueSpike in hopes of an age of trolling where physical pain is inflicted upon Chris.

While one might think that this level of physical and mental abuse would leave lasting scars, BlueSpike's trolling had virtually no evident long-term impact on Chris. Just a few weeks after Julie revealed her true identity, Chris had moved onto thinking he'd found another sweetheart online, and just a few weeks after that he had no trouble believing that he was having IM sex with a world-famous celebrity. The main effect it did have was that although Chris remade a new Sonichu medallion, he stopped wearing it until 1 July 2009.

Chris came to believe that BlueSpike was killed at the hands of Clyde Cash, from an offhand comment Cash made in Mumble 12. On his version of the ED page, Chris stated that "That little S.O.B. later died at the hands of the "Starscream" Troll, Clyde Cash." Of course, this statement was later revealed to be a complete and utter bluff. Chris himself no longer believes BlueSpike is dead, as is evident from the next section.

Called out

On 23 August 2011, Chris claimed to know BlueSpike's real identity (first name David) and threatened to drop dox on him unless he made an apology video by 15 September 2011. In the video, BlueSpike was to tell people to stop calling Chris "Ian Brandon Anderson" and yelling "JULAAAAAAAAYYY!" in prank calls. Although BlueSpike did not respond to Chris' demands, the death of Bob 2 weeks later caused Chris to leave the Internet before he could reveal BlueSpike's personal information, and he ultimately lost interest in exposing his tormentor.

Even if Chris did make a video about who BlueSpike really was, it would have been for naught. The personal information Chris had actually belonged to David Harlow, a lolcow also known as Nesshelper. This is evidenced by Nesshelper and BlueSpike apparently sharing the same first name, the "real" photo of BlueSpike being a closeup of this picture of Nesshelper, and Chris' claim of BlueSpike liking big rooms, which references a video rant where Nesshelper complained about the size of a hotel room he was staying in. Aside from not being a troll and having no reason nor motivation to go after Chris, the fact that Nesshelper sounds nothing like BlueSpike in his videos makes it clear they are not the same person. Furthermore, Nesshelper was born on July 9, 1985[17] and therefore would have been 22 years old during the Julie saga.

Chris was presumably given false information to highlight his gullibility and possibly set up a feud between him and Nesshelper, similar to how Ahuviya Rotem Harel and Christopher Paul Whitney made negative remarks about Chris after he accused them of being Jack Thaddeus and Alec Benson Leary respectively. Of course, the aforementioned death of Bob prevented a conflict between the 2 from occurring; regardless, it's likely Nesshelper wasn't even aware of Chris's misguided attempt to dox him out.

See also

Pickles.jpg
Tired of "Good Fan Art"? Visit our constantly expanding Gallery of Evil Fan Art! There's even a whole section dedicated to BlueSpike!

Sources

  1. Mumble 10
  2. BlueSpike Skype Logs 5
  3. BlueSpike PSN Chat 4
  4. Mumble 8
  5. IRC (15 December 2008)
  6. IRC (28 December 2008)
  7. IRC (03 January 2009)
  8. IRC (04 January 2009)
  9. BlueSpike Skype Logs
  10. BlueSpike Skype Logs 2
  11. 11.0 11.1 BlueSpike Skype Logs 4
  12. Bob Walks In Aftermath
  13. Jackie Chat 7
  14. BlueSpike Skype Logs 13
  15. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gq35fqRk5E
  16. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpj5Hg80f1E
  17. http://nintendodojo.com/profile.aspx?id=12501

External links

BlueSpike's infamous conversation with Chris <---- Video Removed

Trolls of the Patriots

The Miscreants

Villains: Jason Kendrick Howell | Man in the Pickle Suit | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Surfshack Tito

Acquaintances: Sarah Jackson | Robert Simmons V | Sarah May | Emily

Famous People: Jimmy Hill | Takashi Tezuka | Jay Z | Shigeru Miyamoto | Reggie Fils-Aimé

Game Place: Lucas | Mimms