List of Love Quest candidates

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I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had a good number of women friends in my lifetime. They cared and respected me; they were ALL honest and good to me. Most of what my Trolls say when they DARE to drag their names through the mud with mine are Lies or Exaggerations. I am here to set the records straight.
Chris on his past gal-pals and sweethearts.

For less than two decades, Chris was desperate to lose his moniker of "Virgin with rage". While most ladies swoon with his to-the-point sign, and often times innappropriate advances on them, others threw themeslves at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was. In the latter scenario, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life.

This article lists all of the women and men that Chris had seen as potential candiates to finally completing his search for a sweetheart.

Key

Every entry listed in this article is split into 3 separate categories:

  1. Sweethearts-to-be - Candidates that Chris had seen as potential sweethearts that weren't troll personas, most of which had shown no affection back towards him.
  2. Catfishers - Personas that were created by trolls, pretending to persue a relationship with Chris
  3. Fabricated - Lovers that Chris had made up.

The Women and Men in Chris's Life

Sarah Hammer

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Sarah was the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before Encyclopedia Dramatica. Once a gal-pal of his, Sarah Hammer was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space, and tried to convince him to put a honeysuckle in his mouth. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his Love Quest. When Wes Iseli started dating her, Chris felt there was a romantic rivalry between the two of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time. Wes, enviously, barely even knew Chris. His pursuit of Sarah came to an end when she got married (Chris was not invited to the wedding) and he found another girl to crush over.

Laura

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During his sophomore year, Chris began pursuing Laura Dorazio, a cheerleader. Laura was Chris's first major high school crush. Despite being told that she merely saw him as a "friend", Chris's infatuation would continue even after graduation high school; he habitually pored over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her foreshadowed behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris appeared to have taken no for an answer, but still obsessed over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

Kellie

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Kellie Andes was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of naïveté or general inattentiveness with proposing to her. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a firefighter with two children. Kellie cut off all ties from Chris as soon as she discovered the video where Chris simulates licking Jackie's vagina.

Tiffany

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Tiffany Gowen was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris developed feelings for. Compared to other high-school gal pals, Tiffany has shown the most compassion towards Chris. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his 18th birthday party. After learning that Chris brought his mom to prom as his date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance out of pity, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. All of this kindness directed towards him made Chris consider Tiffany to be a potential sweetheart. Like most of his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school. Despite this, Chris was still convinced that were they to meet again he would have a shot. Chris expands on these fantasies in "The High School Story" about the prom dance with genderswapped counterparts of Tiffany and himself, which is followed by the cross gendered Tiffany proposing marriage. Efforts by Chris to track down Tiffany had intensified by 2013, up until the troll Thetan had impersonated several high-school gal-pals and convinced him that there were no mutual feelings between the two of them.

Anna

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Anna McLerran was an employee of the PacSun at Fashion Square Mall.

Hanna

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Hanna was one of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart as well the first woman Chris had ever dated. A Starbucks employee at the Fashion Square Mall, Chris's interactions with Hanna "Fandanna" predate even the incident in which the Man In the Pickle Suit stole Emily. Initially keeping Hanna's identity anonymous, Chris detailed his encounter with her in one of his MySpace posts. An acquaintance of Anna McLerran, Hanna had asked Chris out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit, dropping Chris's Heart Level down to 15%; this was a severe tumble from its recent gains from 20% to 100%. Chris claimed in a chat with Vivian Gee that he had let out a big "NO" while on his knees, which would prompt mall officers to temporarily kick him out of the mall.

Lindsay

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Lindsay Kaye was a woman that Chris had met on MySpace who, like Chris, had attended PVCC. She was rather friendly to Chris and was open with him about her personal life, making Chris believe he actually had a chance with her. Chris would try to meet with Lindsay multiple times but due to her actually having a life, she was unable (or unwilling) to show up. Chris would eventually give up after six weeks of pursuing her and continue his love quest elsewhere.

Megan

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Megan Schroeder is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around 2004, when Chris met her at the GAMe PLACe. Both being into card games, the two naturally formed a sort of friendship. Megan would ask Chris to buy several things for her in emails, to which Chris would happily oblige. Chris took an interest fandoms that Megan was into, such as My Little Pony and anime. All seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. Things would take a turn for the worse in late 2005 to 2006 when he grew more obsessed with Megan, putting her in his comics and making inappropriate advances on her. Both of these things greatly upset Megan, which lead to Chris reconning her from the comic. Things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some moderators on the PlayStation website decided to play Kick the Autistic and cheat Chris out of a contest in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, wishing harm on the 1st place winner's family, combined with certain other actions, somehow drove Megan away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

Lori

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Joshua Martinez roleplayed as a Latin American/Spanish girl, Lori Lopez, who Chris met through MySpace, in November 2007, making her (him) the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about Chris's relationship with Lori during their short time together. Joshua attempted to catfish Chris again with the persona Vanessa Hudgens.

Blanca

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A girl Chris met online around August 2008. She was the first to introduce a character for the Sonichu comics. Things went swimmingly between the two until Chris began having suspicions about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his medallions, Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

Sarah Jackson

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Sarah Jackson met Chris after her sister Rose, who is autistic, had discovered his Sonichu comics. She met Chris around the same time he was pursuing a relationship with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by a truck hitting her.

Jessie

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Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy was a troll gal-pal created in September 2008, who Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a talk page on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards Ivy, which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

Chloe

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When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named Chloe, whom he claimed to have met at a GameStop. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again. Some believe that "Chloe" is actually a codename for PandaHalo.

PandaHalo

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A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on Sarah "PandaHalo" Cassandra. Panda discovered just how desperate Chris was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by Clyde Cash and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

Caitlin

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Caitlin was a seemingly boyfriend-free waitress from Golden Corral that Chris had a crush on. Chris mentioned an encounter with her to PandaHalo in a message. In this encounter, Caitlin commented on a Family Guy episode that he was watching on his PSP, which led Chris to believe that she was interested in him. Chris would then write on a napkin a link to his Sonichu website in hopes that they would be friends soon after.

Julie

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Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing Julie Milvana. To please Julie, Chris performed number of sex acts and recorded them. One of these moments was interrupted by Bob Chandler. In late February, Julie's brother Max held her against her will. Chris mounted a daring rescue, driving all the way to Ohio to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max put Chris through the wringer, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the same person, portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

Emily

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Emily Schifflet was Chris's first real date, and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the privilege of dating. Sadly, their time together was cut short when a Man in a Pickle Suit scared her away during the date. Emily was soon the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes, such as placing a sign on lawn and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal Kim Wilson

Kim

Kim Wilson was one of Emily's pseudonyms, though Chris genuinely believed her to be an entirely different person until watching an episode of Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Of note is how Chris had revealed that he had been spooning his mother after Emily, while under the Kim persona, had denied wanting to be in a relationship with him. Chris had also asked if they would repopulate the Earth if they were the only two people in existence.

Ivy

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Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing Ivy O'Neil not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own semen, and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with Vanessa Hudgens which would ultimately end their relationship.

Vanessa

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She Has Exganged Several AIM Messages And Nudie woman pics with Chris on Facebook. This relationship truly highlighted how Naive Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some China. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her celebrity life to really care about Chris.

Faeryn

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Faeryn "Hambeast" was an obese woman who Chris met at Applebee's through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in fat, unattractive, and disgusting people.

Kacey

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When Liquid Chris made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named Kacey Devoria, he attempted to win her over by impersonating Liquid in a few calls, with the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be his girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. During their relationship, Kacey would encourage him to eat healthier, clean up his room and throw out things he didn’t need, and get a job. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, a confrontation with her father, and a horrific comic. Kacey later broke up with Chris and married Liquid.

Regina

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Regina Novakova was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at UVA who was interested in buying a Guitar Hero guitar from Chris. Chris, of course, believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

"The Wallflower"

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According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to Vivian Gee, on 22 January 2010, Chris had met the Wallflower at a "Young Adult Social Group". Before her discovery, Chris tried to keep her anonymous, putting her under the screenname "Damian Arnita". However, Chris would still use her real name in multiple videos, and had accidentally leaked both the codename, and her likeness in one of his Little Big Planet levels, causing her to get attention from trolls, and getting doxed in the process. Having learned nothing from the Megan drama, Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that she was asexual. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris feuded with her new boyfriend Surfshack Tito.

Jackie

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Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy was Chris' sweetheart from April to October 2010. Chris met her on the HooK Café.Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encouraging him to play less video games. Still, she influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself. He was prodded into doing a voice call with her ex boyfriend Lars, a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

Catherine

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Catherine Sorrentino was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-2014, the first woman to troll him after the death of Bob, after he found that she was a 97% match on OkCupid in July 2014. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our TRUE and HONEST hero and accepted a lunch date at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in September 2014 for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in I Love You, Catherine. Catherine cut Chris off completely in December 2014.

DoopieDoOver

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DoopieDoOver is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel Planet Dolan, and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential gal pal or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another customer. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her Patreon after being harassed by weens, as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. Most importantly of all, she severed ties because Chris was making her uncomfortable personally. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the times were dire not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

Jessica

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Jessica Quinn started as a white knight in 2015. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by Doopie in September 2017. Jessica and Chris then entered a complicated relationship on Facebook. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to gain weight to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and Barb to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that October. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin Kiwi Farms and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video, Quinn's account shut down; she blamed Chris for this, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. This was to be their final breakup and caused him to have his biggest tard rage video since his correspondence with Surfshack Tito. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was immersed in the Idea Guy Saga and Quinn found herself thwarted by the Idea Guys themselves.

Jessica Quinn was once thought to serve as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris had seemed to abandon the quest in March 2018 due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart did not end there.

Bryan

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Bryan Shikley was the creator of Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic, a comic which would catch Chris's attention in early January of 2018.

Around the time when Chris was being brainwashed into believing he was bisexual by the Idea Guys, he had been flirting and writing a gay erotica poem of Bryan.

Various OCs (Cryzel, Magi-Chan, Sylvana, Mewtwo, and Pickchu)

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Chris's polyamorous marriage to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the Idea Guys beginning in March 2018. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. In the past Chris had been strongly opposed to the idea of falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with Meg Griffin from Family Guy. His stance softened as he realized that he might never find a sweetheart in real life; by settling for his own fictional creations, he could end his love quest. He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his harem. This would unfortunately fail to keep Chris satisfied for long; he eventually started a sexual relationship with an older woman who happened to be boyfriend free.

Chris claims to have updated the polygomous marriage in a Jail Letter, stating that he now consider's Helena Fiorenza's OC, Pickchu, to be part of his "harem".

Tings Tingz

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Tings Tingsz was one of the regular members of the white-knight group CWCProtectSquad.

Chris told Tings Tingz that his polyamorous marriage to his imaginary friends was open and "so you may ship yourself and I together." Tings declined.[1]

Gwen

Gwendlyn "Gwen" Penelope Mikoto was a gal-pal played by Idea Guy Stephen Boyd during the Bad Beginning, and again as Miss Gwendlyn during the Cryzel Torture. While roleplaying as Gwen, Boyd threatened to nuke the entire city of CWCville, blackmailing that he would out Chris as a pedophile as well if he doesn't pay them $20,000.

Jacob

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Jacob Sockness started out as a hardcore white knight in September 2018 and had a stroke of luck in July 2019 when Chris followed him on Twitter. Despite Chris's blatant homophobia during the lovequest, he was brainwashed into identifying as bisexual by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge. Jacob was forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in September 2019, but Chris still kept in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe Jacob is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in August 2020.

MKRNightVee

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Starting off as a white knight in 2019 and eventually turning into an enabler, MKRNightVee had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Evee, NightVee, taking a cue from Sonichu being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a medallion for Chris. She eventually got into contact with Chris via a friend and she would proclaim herself as the “CPU goddess of the Nintendo switch”. She grew increasingly possessive towards Chris which led to him eventually cutting her off and leaving the discord server they were in together. This would be one of the rare cases where Chris turned down the boyfriend-free girl.

Annie

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Annie Ikenberry was a Praetor member and OnlyFans camgirl that Chris had stated to see as a potential sweetheart.

Bella

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Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke is an internet troll [2] infamous for her involvement in a call where Chris describes his relationship with his mother in graphic detail, infamous as the leader of the TTU Chess Club, a group which encouraged the bullying and harassment of other students at her university. She roleplayed as the past high-school gal-pal and sweetheart, Kellie Andes for a period of three and a half months, roleplayed as a Curiosity Stream employee in order to get him to Richmond, Virginia for a supposed interview about autism, and is believed to have played a substantial part in helping Larry Vaughn with trolling Chris. The full extent to which Bella has trolled Chris is not known, and has been the subject of much speculation. Bella created an animation for Chris which he narrated. By presenting a genial façade to Chris, she was able to gain a large amount of trust from him. She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her at the Everfree Northwest convention, rather than the Suitress.[3] Bella told the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her. Unfortunately, Chris was unaware of Bella’s A-logging; she was stealing his credit card information, creating fake texts in which he admitted to performing BDSM-style sex on Barb, and claiming she wanted to get him to kill/harm himself. On top of all of that, Bella already had developed a crush on the Suitress and claimed to want to "steal" her from Chris. Chris trusted Bella enough to admit that he was having an affair with his mother. After the Suitress had leaked a chunk of the resulting call to her friends, Chris was arrested before Bella could succeed in any of her claimed plans.

Barbara

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It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying amidst the heaps of trash and toys within 14 Branchland Court. But we, the people of 1218, would never let them be together, and so the authorities tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being locked up and Barb being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

Despite this, Chris would also meet one more woman who actually wanted to get it on with Chris. In a cruel twist of fate, she would end up exposing Chris's incest with his mother.

"The Suitress"

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A young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"[4], and possibly the youngest candidate to date. Incredibly, she had formed a genuine crush on Chris. This woman, codenamed in the CWCki as "The Suitress", was in contact with Chris by mid-July 2021 and the two made video calls including one in which they simulated kissing each other. The Suitress recounted an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him. Chris agreed to have sex with her claiming that doing so would improve her "mental and emotional development". Like with the Wallflower, Chris tried to keep the Suitress anonymous with most people he contacted, referring to her as "Fifi Vixenhart". Chris sent both her and Bella an invite to the Knights of CWC Discord Server run by The WCT, and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. She believed that following through with Bella's plan to get her closer to Chris would ultimately work in her favor and appeared ignorant to Bella's A-Loggish intentions or that Bella had spoken of plans to harm Chris. On 28 July, Bella recorded the incest call and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. The Suitress was the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a further edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail after concerned observers reported on this activity.

References

See Also